The Danish Royal Family has a new family portrait, and it sure is a doozy:

It took four years to complete, according to official sources, and “the completion this year adds an extra, historical dimension to the painting as 2013 is the 150th anniversary of The House Glücksburg.” Somewhere, Kris Jenner is frantically taking notes for the Kardashian Khristmas Kard. She will obviously stick Kanye in the place of honor in the front, as he is the one most easily able to channel the “I’m going to snap one day and kill all of these people” expression in that child’s eyes, given that surely he DOES sometimes harbor violent fantasies toward the many inhabitants of Planet Kardashia with which he must constantly interface.

And over in Denmark, I cannot but think that this portrait will be the subject of much discussion in the royal family at the holidays. Surely, they will officially note that they love it, but in private, I assume they’re name-checking The Omen and wondering why didn’t just let Grandma make that photo collage she kept talking about, after all?