Fug: The Great and Powerful


In good news, Michelle Williams’s face has NEVER LOOKED BETTER:

Remember when she was on Dawson’s and you were like, “I don’t know about this person’s face?” Maybe that was just me. I was really mean then. Also, she was slightly awkward. But talk about growing into your looks. Gorgeous.

HOWEVER — and you knew that was coming — I will give $10 to the person who manages to talk Michelle out of wearing this silhouette.

This dress is fine, but we’ve got to sit down and have some real talk about some stuff. Namely:

  1. She wears this dress all the damn time. The shape, the neckline, the color. She has never met a crew-necked white dress she didn’t wear out of the house.
  2. She is too square and/or secretly busty for this sort of Mod shape to actually look THAT great on her. Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist: she has a lovely figure, and she looks totally fine. But she could look extra plus good in something that worked with her natural shape rather than slightly against it. I TOO tend to squareness and secret boobs (mostly when I’m hitting the sandwiches like Rocky hits a heavy bag [so, almost all the time]) and I TOO want to dress like a fabulous Mod vixen, so I GET THIS. I so get it. I even want this hair (she is lucky enough to be able to pull it off).  And I don’t even mind looking square occasionally. I have this green DVF dress that I have been informed BY A PROFESSIONAL makes me look too square, and that professional was right and I still wear it. I don’t always care; sometimes you don’t mind. But she wears this exact shape ALWAYS. THE MADNESS MUST STOP. TRY A V-NECK, MICHELLE.
  3. We still love you and hooray for sleeves.

AND THEN THIS HAPPENED:

WHAT. I don’t even know how to feel.

[Photos: Getty, Splash]

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Comments (88):

  1. thunderthighs
    +28

    So.. it’s a modest, white, short-sleeved, bedazzled Prada dress worn over black granny panties? Well, naturally. Who WOULDN’T wear that to their big movie premiere! Why, I would totally wear that to work.

  2. Lisa
    +3

    That is one high slit. Her face does look great and will leave it at that.

  3. cathy
    +16

    cherubic faces like hers age very well. they remain youthful and gain little bit of angles and edge with years and start to look great when you get to late 20, early 30

    • Charlotte
      +4

      That is the best damn news I have heard all day. I am no longer afraid of my (still a long way off but not nearly as much I would like) thirties.

      • Katie Lynn
        +2

        I’m on the downward slope towards 30 and can totally verify that this is a true statement. I still get carded and have been asked WHAT GRADE I’M IN. Because apparently I look like I’m still in high school (that second part isn’t so common any more, but I used to get it a lot before I hit 25). Ladies of the cherubic face definitely have some advantages!

        • Kat
          +7

          I was at the mall a couple weekends ago and someone handing out brochures for 4H asked me if I wanted to go to camp. I’M 25. >.<

        • Noodle
          +5

          In the span of one recent weekend, an eighteen year old thought I was younger than him and I got carded trying to buy a lottery ticket. I am 35.

        • cathy
          0

          hahaha, i know! im 24 and got carded today when i was buying smokes :D

        • MegoPachego
          +1

          I am not a member of the cherubic face club. I’m all spindly angles and such. But I did get carded at the liquor store on my 29th birthday. The drinking age here is 19 to boot.

    • Allyn
      +1

      Truth! My husband and I both have little angel faces and dimples. I’m 27, he’s 30, and we still get carded regularly. It’s glorious. Our children will thank us for these genes some day.

    • filmcricket
      +6

      Actually, they don’t. They may stay looking younger for a good long time, but once the wrinkles and skin sag start to set in, it’s sharp cheekbones and strong jawlines you want. The Hepburns (Audrey and Kate) are proof of this. Compare with someone like, say, Ginger Rogers, who had apple cheeks and did not age well at all.

      • Kristin
        0

        Alas, I know what you mean. My round face is still fine as long as I smile (I am 53), but in repose it is Droop City.

  4. Verlaine
    +13

    I don’t know how to feel either. This is the kind of clothing whiplash stars usually reserve for summer openings. Was she expecting the theater might catch on fire and she would have to start jogging, so she pre-slit her dress for ease of movement? Was it originally designed to go with a thigh-high gun holster? What is going on, Michelle?

  5. currygirl
    +33

    PANTIES WHAT.

  6. AM
    +5

    Now, I was ready to defend this as a great dress, and I like the shape, and a good crew neck when I saw this is, in fact, a fancy swim suit cover-up. Was that side slit thingy really necessary? In other new, hair, make up look really good.

  7. Mo
    +5

    DWF…dressed without friends. if she had friends they would have told her no…just no.

  8. Corriner
    +26

    I am a full supporter of having a ‘look’ as they say, but she could pull off the mod-adjacent look without clinging for dear life to crew necks. Especially with her short pixie, she could be pulling off some seriously interesting necklines.

    As for the side slit:

    WORDS.

    • Bottle Ginger
      +1

      Necklines? Look, like me, she has a short neck and rather wide shoulders, which means that she can’t carry off a whole lot of necklines. No, to carry off dramatic necklines, a girl needs a model’s swan neck, that’s what makes all the boat necks and mandarin collars look fabulous!

      Short-necked girls like Michelle here are better off with v-necks or scoop necks, even the crew neck creates a horizontal line across the shoulders, making them look wider.

  9. Erin
    +10

    Marshall Erickson should never have let her leave the house with her underpinnings showing.

  10. Lucille Austero
    +7

    Wow! That side view is saucy.

  11. Gigi
    +7

    That’s a bedazzled, colonized cheongsam bathing suit coverup! What the!

  12. Ranch
    +9

    I don’t recall ever seeing her hair in a side view before, I love the cut way more now! At least the dress isn’t such a snoozefest with that slit. She can’t be a debutant forever.

  13. Ruth
    +10

    Angelina is pissed she didn’t have this in black first.

    • Ruth
      +7

      Or La Lopez.

      • erin
        +6

        “Holaaaaaaaa lovers. You thought that with this crew neck i was muy modest, no? Well, I have one thing to decir to you. SIDE VIEW. una ventana to the thigh.”

  14. AMS
    +11

    The first thing I thought of, when I saw the slit, was that this is a kameez and she forgot/declined to wear the churidar pyjama under it. Whether or not that’s true, I have to admit, I love it. I love how completely shocking it is, both because the front looks so twee and because it’s such a departure for her. On literally ANYone else, it would look try-hard and gauche, but I think she’s selling it.

  15. Charlotte
    +5

    Michelle, your legs are tremendous and I applaud the fact that you (finally) want to show them off a bit. But maybe you could so in a more appropriate, less mystifying manner?

    The thing is, this dress *could* be really great. The fit seems good (esp. from the side) and I love the sparkle. I say sew up the side slit, chop off the skirt to just above the knees, and give it a bit of a flounce to make the silhouette more a-line. Totally cute, right?

    • Fawn
      0

      My thoughts exactly – totally cute.

      • Helen
        0

        Yes, Charlotte and Fawn! Those are exactly the changes I see in my head, too.

        It’s great from the waist up.

  16. val.
    +5

    It’s like a really fancy swimsuit coverup.

  17. Erin B
    +4

    There are Things I Need To Know About This Dress! Such as:

    a) Does it have slits on both sides, thereby rendering it a ridiculously long tunic top instead of a dress?
    b) Did her stylist/seamstress/whatever have to create that slit so that the top and bottom both fit her? If so, that’s ridiculous because Michelle Williams is not an Amazon.

    Not sure what’s up with MW’s enchantment with daisies and other floral appliques. She’s beautiful and I love it when she dresses beautifully instead of “cute.”

    • Jessica
      +1

      Just the one side.

      • Erin B
        +1

        I guess I needed to know, but it still doesn’t make it any better. Thank you for answering my question, though! :)

      • Kristan
        +5

        “Just the one side” ruins it for me. If it had been both sides, I actually would have really applauded it. Not because I LIKE it, so much as I respect it. The hypothetical it, that is. Not the one-sided it.

  18. Rayna
    +7

    Until photo #3, I was TOTALLY defending Michelle’s right to be as mod and square (??) as she wanna be, wear white, crewnecks, etc., and then there was the “panties WHAT?” moment.

    To her credit, though, at least she DID wear panties. Certain Other People would have just gone commando. You know who you are.

    So, front view – FTW. Hair and face = awesome.

  19. Eliza
    +3

    Wow. Grannie panties!

    She also always has that smirky, fake closed lip smile. Being on the red carpet seems to pain her. It’s part of your job, big salary, plus you’re an actor. Look like you’re enjoying it, not like you’re waiting to get your teeth pulled.

  20. Nancy
    +8

    Meh. I still prefer the hip high slit to the sheer madness that we are currently forced to endure.

  21. Miriam
    0

    Who is in the red dress? Katie Holmes?

    • Jenny
      0

      Rachel Weisz

      • Kat
        +17

        Can I just say to Rachel Weisz: DAMN. Dat ass!

        • Kate
          +7

          Yes. I did not notice the thigh high split(repeat, that; I did not NOTICE THE THIGH HIGH SPLIT) because I was too busy staring enviously at Rachel Weisz’ rear view.

  22. Miriam
    0

    Never mind, it’s Rachel Weisz. Sure looks like KH tho.

  23. Vandalfan
    +6

    The phrase “look into pants” is rhetorical- we do not actually want to be able to physically look into your pants, dear.

    It’s a bedazzled T-shirt, and is a tad small- the points of her shoulders are far down in the wee sleeves and her armpits are straining.

    • pantsonfire
      +1

      Yes! I’m a tad late to this party but have been perusing down the comments looking for “too small.” I had to scroll waaaaay farther than I expected. I actually don’t even know how I feel about the dress on its own because I’m distracted by it’s clearly being a size too small, which I suspect is taking a possibly kind-of-neato dress and emphasizing its sartorially interesting elements to an aesthetically displeasing degree.

      Honestly, I don’t think I have a problem with this dress (even the slit!) in the right size AND, importantly, on someone else with a different body type because, lo, I wholeheartedly (like, with my entire being) concur with Jessica’s comments about this particular shape on Michelle.

  24. Stefanie
    +3

    OH. Well the black shoes make sense now. They match we spankies.

  25. S
    0

    I feel the pain of Michelle and Jessica – I also, in my mind, am flat chested and willowy enough to wear this type of dress well, but in reality I am an apple with breastfeeding boobs and would look like a block in that dress. I occasionally wear them anyway, but not to every event where someone might take my picture.

  26. rowynn
    0

    I find I feel the same way about her dress as I feel about her…. no specific animosity, but no real liking, either. Just… indifferent. But yikes! do I feel animosity for that red dress standing with her. It couldn’t scream “Look At My Butt!” any louder if it had a big heart-shaped cutout in that area.

  27. Jess
    0

    I DEFINITELY know what you mean about her face! I always thought it was so unrealistic that the guys would be gaga over Jen and ignore Joey.

    • MegoPachego
      0

      I also totally thought that about her face! I couldn’t stand Lindley and she used to drive me insane! I figured that the boys liked her more because she had boobs. And it was high school, after all.

      Now she’s adorable and she’s no longer playing an annoying character on Dawson’s Creek and she’s had excellent taste in real life boyfriends. I wish she didn’t have that crazy slit on the side because her charm could pull this off.

  28. ringthing
    +1

    Hmmm. Her head looks really great and as for the dress, well, I just keep imagining how a person would function as a human while wearing it. Picture sitting, getting in and out of the limo, using the loo, or how it would function if there was any kind of breeze anywhere in her vicinity.

  29. Kate
    0

    Okay, she looked 100% awful on almost every episode of Dawson’s Creek. Especially the growing out the short hair/semi mullet stage. Such awful hair. But her face was pretty.

  30. Sonya
    +1

    Call me crazy, but I kinda like that. It is saucy without being in your face. SURPRISE! There’s a crazy high slit!

    Rachel Weisz looks fantastic in that dress.

    • Danna
      +1

      I can’t sign off on the granny panties/Spanx, but I’m just thankful that she’s wearing some sort of undergarment. Witness too many recent vagina adjacent disasters on the red carpet & awards shows.

  31. AEMom
    +2

    I would love to wear this myself in tunic-length over black pants. I just love the crystals and I imagine that it would even look more awesome on a jewel-toned top as opposed to white.

    As a dress I would have personally whipped out my sewing kit, sewed several inches of that slit closed and then worn the dress sans-granny panties — because then they wouldn’t have been needed.

  32. filmcricket
    0

    Someone on Tom & Lorenzo pointed out that there’s a Groucho Marx face sitting over her left boob and now I can’t see anything else.

    Her legs are great (as is Rachel W’s tush) but I really don’t care for the dress or her make-up. Hair is awesome, though. I always want to be able to pull that type of cut off and then remember that my hair is baby-fine and also stupid wavy and that it wouldn’t suit my face anyway. Sigh.

  33. TonyG
    +6

    Oh my (said with a lilt in my voice), turned into Ohh myyyyy (with a dip in my voice).

  34. MissTee
    +1

    I was merrily reading along…and scrolling…and scrolling….and when I hit that last photo my jaw did a slo-mo drop. It was like in a movie. But it was real.

  35. jerkygirl
    +4

    Great hair, pretty (if mega-repetitive) dress, but that slit is ridonkulous. And it seems super incongruous on cutesy-tutesy Michelle Williams and her cutesy-tutesy shirt dress. She has never, but never, ever ever, looked better than she did in that weird yellow dress that she wore to the Oscars a few years ago, and I wish she’d take a look at some of those old pics and say “hmm, who was styling me then? Perhaps I’ll give him or her a call.”

  36. namidu
    0

    OMG I ABSOLUTELY used to think that about her face circa Dawson’s. I actually called her “Duckface” for years. I just spend a good 90 seconds starting at her face in that picture and thinking, “I can’t believe I used to call her duckface.” I think she’s stunning now. The dress, though – not so much.

    • Frankie
      0

      I used to say exactly the same thing! She really did look like duck. And now I think she’s one of the most beautiful (and classy) women in the business.

  37. Kalli McQueen
    0

    When I scrolled to the side-view, I literally gasped out loud at my desk. As a few have already said above me, WORDS.

    That said, her hair and makeup have never looked better, she is so stunning.

    http://kompsi.wordpress.com

  38. Carla in Kentucky
    +2

    It looks like what Twin One did to Twin Two at the party in the original “Parent Trap” movie.

  39. llism
    +1

    I am a heterosexual woman, yet I feel utterly compelled to squeeze Ms. Weisz’ buns. I know it’s objectifying her, but damn!

    • Kate
      0

      Her buns to look great (she’s one of my faves, love her face and love her in movies).

      BUT…

      I think this back view makes me think the dress is a smidge too small and tight. Too much info! Even if that info is damn near flawless.

  40. witjunkie
    +1

    I must say, you girls do know how to tell a story. It’s like a movie and you think all is well and then we scroll a little more and DundunDUNNNN!! AAAAAGH!

  41. Chasmosaur
    +3

    I am going to skip commenting on the dress and note I love her short hair a bit longer like this. And the mixed color also makes it look lovely against her face. You’re no longer distracted by how close she is to great hair – you are just admiring how very pretty she is.

  42. Joyce
    +1

    I know riiight? Lovely and then knickers alert! And then a sad face.

  43. tigers4us
    0

    Why? And at a Disney premier? She’s absolutely beautiful and can wear almost anything, but you’re right about the white/crewneck thing. Sigh. Maybe she’s working from the bottom up.

  44. hipsterhobo
    0

    Where was Busy Phillipps when Michelle was trying on this dress? From the neck up she looks gorgeous. I’m ignoring the rest of it.

  45. Ladyblahblah
    +1

    “Maybe that was just me. I was really mean then.” Yes you were! I clicked on a picture that took me back to a 2004 comment on Sevigny and flipped through about 20 more. I know GFY is all mature and polished now, but I do miss the huge helpings of snark and occassional (OK, more than occassional) F bombs!

  46. Bubba
    0

    Oh no. I mean: OH NO!

  47. ericajenine
    +1

    Oh, well *shurgs*, I liked before the side view, and liked it even more after the side view. I think it is cute.

  48. Nancy
    +2

    I think the nice things about Rachel Weisz’s look from the front don’t apply from the back. The dress looks too tight from that angle. And it seems to be squishing her tush.

    Nice back muscles on her though.

    • Val
      +1

      I agree, Nancy. It’s a choice to have a garment tailored to be that tight- I get it – but it’s not my choice. No matter how great a shape a lady may have I really, really, really don’t want to see evidence of that fact staring me in the face.

  49. Emma
    0

    I never liked her much on Dawson’s Creek. When she wore that saffron yellow gown to the Oscars a few years ago, I LOVED HER. I think she needs to revisit that.

    I read an interview with her the other day where she said when she cut her her short, she felt inclined to wear sweet, girly, 60′s inspired dresses. I think she’s still in that phase, because she almost always opts for high, round necklines and sack-shaped shifts. I, too, will contribute $10 to anyone who can talk her out of this stuff.

  50. Trace
    0

    Oh Michelle, why so constantly twee?

    • mepe
      0

      that slit in her skirt is certainly not twee. i wonder if there’s one on the other side as well?

  51. Jules
    0

    When I saw this, I remembered it was the lunar new year last weekend.
    So maybe this is some kind of bespoke, asian – theme outfit?

  52. Sajorina
    +1

    I love it! I think she’s pulling it off… It fits her beautifully and it’s sexy, which I don’t expect from her, but it’s a welcomed surprise! FAB!

  53. Gal
    0

    Won’t someone please teach her how to pose? Just a little?

  54. melafefon
    0

    I don’t think she “grew into her looks”. To me it looks like she had plastic surgery, a nose job, specifically and, maybe also, had her lips done.

  55. Lily1214
    0

    She always dresses too young.

  56. Hima
    0

    I think we should send the link to this post to Busy Phillips, and she can be the person to talk Michelle out of wearing this silhouette again. (I’ll donate the $10 if she wants it).