Fug the Cover: Vanity Fair’s Hollywood Issue


I’m starting to wonder if Emma Stone’s people have a nefarious plan. Specifically, if they are worried that she is so universally adored and adorable, that backlash is inevitable and potentially harsh. So they’re arranging for her to look less than her best on magazine covers as a way of engendering sympathy and reminding people that, hey, even Emma Stone is just like us: imperfect.

I mean, she’s still Emma Stone, so she’s starting out ahead in the “plus” ledger. But she seems sort of… tired, and unenthralled, and maybe a little bit like even though somebody told the photographer she adored this idea, she doesn’t really understand why the hell she’s in bed with two grown-ass celebrity men in animal costumes. Bradley Cooper is smiling dazedly as if he just woke up (or achieved chemical bliss) and thinks he’s wearing a Snuggie, and Affleck barely even looks like he IS wearing a costume; it’s like he and an amiable grizzly poked their heads into the shot for a cuddle, and the grizzly didn’t care for the length of the lens.

The cover lines also feel strangely like Vanity Fair is auditioning a teen version. I can’t wait to read the Leslie Bennetts profile on iCarly, and a searing social and photographic essay on the history of lunchroom etiquette in Hollywood.

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Comments (58):

  1. TonyG
    0

    Emma definitely looks like she wants to be somewhere other than in bed with Ben and Bradley.

    And, does Vanity Fair and Bruce Weber really mean to suggest Emma sleeps with her directors/co-stars or that Ben and Bradley do the same. I presume they (Vanity Fair and Bruce Weber) shot this tongue-in-cheek, but, then again I don’t know their (Emma, Brad and Bradley’s) lives. Maybe this acting thing is but a way to sleep around.

    Nonetheless, the stuffed bear is a very kooky, humorous touch, so I presume we are not take this cover seriously.

  2. tigers4us
    0

    She looks fine. Lucky girl!

  3. Gigi
    0

    Yeah, except for Bradley’s flokati sweater, it just looks like a grizzly bear photo-bombed the world’s most boring menage a trois. Has anyone checked the bear’s Facebook page for the juicier photos?

  4. Lizzy
    0

    Her expression seems to say, “Really, you think a dressed version of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog shot is a good idea – especially when it includes two older men, one of whom has a wife and 3 children?”

  5. Pink Coat
    0

    First thing that popped in my head was, ‘that’s so 90s’.

  6. Billie
    0

    I’m sorry, you get Emma Stone, Ben Affleck and Bradley Cooper to sign on to do a cover together and THIS is what you come up with?

    • Annie E
      0

      Exactly. I’m so… BORED and underwhelmed looking at this cover, which should not happen when I’m seeing three very attractive famous people and a bear head.

      • mary lou bethune
        0

        Exactly- bored to smithereens. Usually I just feel like taking a bath after reading Vanity Fair but this time I need a nap ( and an ice cream sandwich ala Zach G.)

  7. jerkygirl
    0

    Saw this at Target last night and KNEW it had to show up on a Fug the Cover!!! This isn’t nearly as bad as the W cover and photos, but seriously? Goldilocks and the 2 bears?

  8. Jules
    0

    I think I read somewhere that this is supposed to be an homage to the Godfather movies. You know, horse head in bed, etc. Seems a bit of a stretch, but what do I know.

  9. Alma
    0

    I would never have noticed that they were supposed to be dressed like furries. I thought there was just a random bear head on the bed.

    • Jill
      0

      This was my exact thought. I was very confused and concerned that there seemed to be a random bear head ready to bite off their heads. Even knowing the guys are dressed as animals, I still don’t get it.

  10. Cucina49
    0

    This is not Emma Stone at her best, but she’s still better-looking than I will ever be.

    For some random reason my head went to John Irving’s novel “The Hotel New Hampshire,” which lots of animals both real and taxidermied. It’s just that kind of morning.

    • Gigi
      0

      Re Hotel New Hampshire – yes! That makes more sense to me than the Godfather horse head in the bed (non-)connection.

  11. maryse
    0

    oh i think this is fine. honestly i barely even noticed that emma is in between the two of them.

    • wildviolette
      0

      I had no idea there was anyone on the cover other than Bradley and a stuffed bear head. And I was totally ok with that.

  12. filmcricket
    0

    Once again, a very white cover. Or are they supposed to get points for making the bear a grizzly, instead of a polar?

  13. Chasmosaur
    0

    I usually look forward to the Hollywood Edition of VF, because even when they’re being pervy about women in lingerie or naked and men fully clothed, the photography is usually great.

    This is still sitting on my nightstand, wrapped in the Conde Nast plastic. I’ll get to it. Because that cover image is so bad.

  14. Rayna
    0

    I would actually like to see Emma’s dress full length, with or without extra boys, bears, fur, etc. It looks pretty.

  15. rowynn
    0

    Not that I’m wanting a porn-adjacent cover or anything, but…. my thoughts are, if you’re taking a picture of 3 people with all their clothes on, don’t pose them in bed. And, if you’re taking a picture of 3 people in bed, don’t have them be fully dressed. It looks not very well thought out, uncomfortable, and wtf is that blue thing Emma is wearing?

  16. cole
    0

    its Hotel New Hampshire, right? Emma is Jody Foster? One of them is Rob Lowe and the other one is, ? I forget? Isn’t that what its suppose to be?

    • mary lou bethune
      0

      Good call- think you might be right.

    • Squirrel!
      0

      cole: You’re right — it is Hotel New Hampshire. But are these three starring in a remake? I think not. (I read the book — not sure if I saw the movie, as it was that forgettable.)

  17. DeeKay
    0

    Omg I have been fugging this cover mentally ever since I saw it last week. I think this is a homage to some classic movie comedy, like something with Jean Harlow or Carole Lombard and a couple of swoon-worthy romantic leading men of that time??? But I’m so bored by this cover that I refuse to try to search for the reference online. This is one. fugly. cover.

    Ok I’ll just say it: Emma Stone looks TERRIBLE with blonde hair. She is a gorgeous redhead. Why do people who are gorgeous redheads, natural or not, then try to go blonde? (Looking at you, Lohan – who btw has the most naturally beautiful red hair, and has killed all the color out of it with horrible processing over the past 6 years.) I feel like Emma Stone’s hair people cannot seem to ever get her blonde hair the right shade, or get her roots right. I can always see some other color underneath at the roots, and then the rest of her ‘do looks unconvincing and plastic.

    However, sometimes that bad blonde is mitigated by her sparkly attitude and terrific smile. Both of which are totally missing from this cover.

    • Cara
      0

      Actually, I think it’s trying to be an homage to the 30s film “Design for Living,” with Frederic March, Gary Cooper, and Miriam Hopkins. Long time ago.

      • DeeKay
        0

        Thanks! I’ve seen that film but don’t know that I would have ever realized it was the “source” for this photoshoot.

    • Anissa
      0

      Actually Emma is a natural blonde. She is mostly a redhead for her movies (it really does suit her well), but she has to be a blonde for the Spiderman movies as Gwen is a blonde and it would be weird for her to be a redhead when Peter’s other girlfriend Mary Jane is a known redhead…so that’s why she’s blonde again as they are filming the next movie.

      • DeeKay
        0

        Oh yeah I know that it is the Gwen Stacy part that has led Emma Stone to maneuver into some version of her natural-blonde-ness, but I mourn her wunderbar redheadedness. Just as Kelly Clarkson and Leighton Meester are natural blondes but look much more beautiful with rich, deep brunette hair (imo), Emma Stone is a stunner as a redhead and sort of washed-out looking (again, imo) as a blonde. I think Christina Hendricks does the same math (born blonde, better as redhead)?

  18. Esme
    0

    I barely even recognized her; she looks about 40. And aren’t those 2 twerps like almost old enough to be her dad? Gross. Why couldn’t they have used a female contemporary of the 2 guys, for heck’s sake? hate.

  19. Jules
    0

    Here’s the explanation, from Vanity Fair:
    “Ben Affleck, Emma Stone, and Bradley Cooper were chosen as our cover subjects, based on their impressive, individual accomplishments over the past year. Affleck had triumphed with Argo, winning an Oscar nomination for best picture. Cooper had definitively established his acting magic in Silver Linings Playbook, which was nominated for eight Academy Awards, including his own for best actor. And Emma Stone had comfortably sustained her staying power as America’s sweetheart with The Amazing Spider-Man. Weber shot the cover photo at a Beverly Hills mansion steeped in cinematic lore. In The Godfather (1972), if you remember, it is the house where Robert Duvall, the consigliere to the Corleone family, arranges to have the recalcitrant movie producer who lives there wake up with his prize horse’s head in his bed.”

    • Sandra
      0

      Bears Are Not Horses!

      Seriously, this cover is such a clusterf***k. Exactly how is this supposed to be celebrating any of their accomplishments? Also, Vanity Fair, if you have TO TELL US that this all ties together because of some house that nobody remembers was used as the photoshoot location, then your cover has failed. Surely you’ve heard of “Show, don’t tell”????

  20. paige
    0

    Aside from this being a strange picture, Emma’s kind of an odd choice for the Hollywood issue, which usually features “of the moment” people. Cooper’s up for an Oscar, Affleck’s movie is the front-runner for best picture, so those two make sense to me. I know Emma has some projects coming up, but it doesn’t seem like she currently has anything buzz-worthy going on. Wouldn’t…I dunno, Jessica Chastain or Anne Hathaway have been better (not to mention more age-appropriate) choices? Don’t get me wrong, I really like Emma, I just think it’s an odd choice.

    Also, Vanity Fair continues to be the whitest magazine ever.

  21. Ellelake
    0

    I too wonder about her management. She was made to look like a baby in Gangster Squad, her role was fluff. Some creditable acting might mitigate the damage of potential blow back better than unattractive photography.

  22. Megan
    0

    She looks like Rachel McAdams with that hair. That’s not a slam – I would give my right arm to wake up looking like Ms. McAdams – but it takes away from Emma’s own beauty and unique looks.

    This is such a weird, boring cover that I have to wonder if it was deliberate.

    • Kristin
      0

      Agree. I didn’t even recognize Emma, which perhaps reflects more on my inadequacies than anything else. The hair looks oddly pouffy, and she doesn’t have that usual — or what I think of as her usual as shots of her before the “W” cover — glow. What an odd choice. Great as she is, this isn’t her year. Maybe Anne, Jessica, and Jennifer Lawrence were all busy?

  23. Sylvia
    0

    This looks like soft core porn for Cabela’s. They could do better by all three of them.

  24. Marcy
    0

    Why do they insist on making her look like Dakota Fanning after a few years of living like Britney or Lindsay?

  25. Jilly
    0

    On the plus side, how adorable is a sleepy-looking Bradley Cooper?

  26. Hannah Lee
    0

    This cover manages to be both boring and weird.
    All three have been stripped of whatever charisma they have, Emma Stone, once again, is styled on a cover so she doesn’t look like herself at all. And the scenario being depicted in the shot is confusing if I don’t think about it too much, and unsettling if I do..she’s fully dressed, but under the covers, they’re dressed like animals, but way to old to be cozying up to her and look like they’ve been drugged…etc, etc. And the way it’s shot and cropped seems to have sucked any whimsy out of it…it might have been better as less of a close up?

    Rumor has it, though, that there is some bonus Cumberbatch inside the pages, so I may just have to buy the magazine in spite of it’s uncatchy cover.

  27. Vandalfan
    0

    I assume it’s some Veddy Veddy inside joke that only those in the rarefied air who write Vanity Fair might “get”. Is there a bear costume, then, or a bear head swapped for a horse head on the bed a la The Godfather?

  28. Eloise
    0

    I’m assuming this cover is supposed to also be an homage to Bruce Weber’s Interview magazine covers, which often had “hand-written” text overlaying the picture (at least in the 90′s). And boy, does that make me feel old…

  29. Sajorina
    0

    I think it’s weird as hell, but I’m not mad at it! I guess it’ll make sense once I look at the pictures inside! I would LOVE to be the center of a Ben & Bradley sandwich… Shhhh, don’t tell my boyfriend, Ok?

    • AlisonC
      0

      I agree! And after being a bit meh about Ben Affleck for so long ( I still haven’t forgiven him for letting Bruce Willis die in Armageddon!) I have to say he looks HOTT here. I didn’t even notice Emma Stone was in the photo.

  30. gryt
    0

    If THIS is the shot they went with, imagine how bad the outtakes were… (Assuming the photo editor isn’t a moron, but I’m guessing not.)

    It looks like they spent all of 5 minutes on the shoot.

  31. Squirrel!
    0

    I would not be averse to trading places with Emma.

  32. Honey
    0

    Boy, I’ll tell you, I simply cannot get ENOUGH of young ladies with men decades their senior. Movies, TV shows, inexplicable magazine covers – love it all. Keep it up, Hollywood, you’re doing great.

  33. Rachel
    0

    Emma doesn’t look TERRIBLE…but I wouldn’t say she looks like herself. I briefly wondered to myself how the girl who played Grace on American Horror Story Asylum landed the cover of Vanity Fair, and why she dyed her hair blonde.

  34. jean
    0

    That is a terrible idea for a cover, period. Period. Nobody looks good. Nobody. It’s not even funny. And Bradley’s hair! Ug. And Ben doesn’t have his awesome beard! He needs to NEVER shave again. Trim yes, shave NO. He can rock a well maintained beard. He needs to remember that forever, like Tom Selleck and his mustache which I would hate on any man but him. Or more classic, Clark Gable and his mustache.

  35. karanakau
    0

    She doesn’t look bad.. She just doesn’t look as good as the other two gorgeous men beside her..

  36. Akit
    0

    Ha ha this cover is hilarious, she looks so bored. BC defo looks high. As for the whole men in animal costumes, I’m always reminded of that off-key bit in The Shining. I won’t elaborate further to save blushes but if you know it, then you get my disturbed drift.

  37. N. Wood
    0

    Nobody else noticed her make-up looking like she’s got a smear of dirt on her right cheek?