Fug the Cover: Sofia Vergara

Okay. Here’s the thing. This cover isn’t terrible, at all — although all the red doesn’t seem very August-y (Augustian?) — except for one giant neon problem. And I’m not even talking about the endless parade of celebrities wearing formal granny panties on every magazine cover in the world. Would you be able to identify this woman if she, say, ran you over with her car and then fled the scene? Because I could not. I would be all,  “officer, I’ve never seen her before in my life! She was very pretty. 40ish. She kind of looked like Cheryl Cole?” and that would be it. I don’t know if it’s Photoshop, this rather awkward angle, or her newly lightened hair (which I actually quite like), but lady doesn’t look much like Sofia Vergara — as pretty as she is.

Leave a reply

Comments (47):

  1. Caitlin M

    There’s a bit of Cindy Crawford-ness there, too. But no, not much Sofia Vergara.

  2. maryse

    i would hardly describe her as looking 40ish, but yeah that doesn’t look like sofia

    • Jessica

      Well, I mostly said that because she Is 40ish in real life, and I don’t think she looks remarkably younger than she usually does. 40ish isn’t old. Given that I am 38 myself, it certainly wasn’t meant as an insult!

      •  Noodle

        I think she looks about 25, here, which I would not say is the case normally. Her face is so smooth and shiny

  3. filmcricket

    I said brown-haired Isla Fisher, but I see Cindy Crawford there as well.

  4. Jen

    She looks like Future Christa B. Allen. Though it is nice not to be staring at her cleavage for once.

  5. amhp

    please oh please stop the sexist and eye-searingly awful American Apparel ads :(

    • Sandra

      Y’all do know that the FugGirls don’t control that, right? As they’ve said a thousand times, if turning on your pop-up blocker doesn’t make it go away, drop them a line at the contact email listed on the bottom of the page and they’ll see what they can do to help you.

      • drP

        My pop-up blocker must be working perfectly, because I’ve never seen ONE of those adverts. Lucky me. Such blockers seem to be an absolute requirement these days.
        As for the woman on the cover, I can’t see any resemblance to SV there, especially wearing Jerry Seinfeld’s puffy shirt.

    • Sajorina

      Thankfully, I’m not getting them anymore, but you have to email Heather & Jessica with any complaints!

  6. Tiffany

    I kind of wondered if she broke out or got a bruise on her face or something before this shoot.

    I noticed in every picture of this spread, she is facing the side so you can only see half of her face. It is like she was covering something.

  7. Blair

    She looks recognizable to me, I think mostly her eyes. I looked at the photo and recognized her right away. But it is kind of an awkward pose on the cover.

  8. Maria L.

    What an uncomfortable looking pose! Plus the couch is making me think: bordello.

  9. Elizabeth

    No, it doesn’t look like SV. It does, however, look like her legs are attached sideways relative to her body, like she’s a Barbie doll that someone jacked sideways at the waist. I’m just getting this weird optical illusion thing happening here.

    • G

      Yeah, I don’t believe anyone could hold that pose long enough for even a single photo.

      I also don’t believe her real-life head is as wide as her real-life hips.

      It’s got to be parts of two or three pictures.

      But those high-waisted brocade granny panties would look even worse if we could see more of them.

  10. Alameda Peg

    Cindy Crawford, Catherine Zeta Jones, any random very pretty brunette… Sofia Vergara? Sure, if you say so.

  11. Lee-Lee

    Now we know where Seinfeld’s “puffy shirt” went.

  12. TaraMisu

    Ha I thought it was Cheryl Cole!! Ahhh well….

  13. sarah

    on first glimpse of her face i actually thought it was natalie portman!

  14. Sharon

    I think Sofia looks more like herself, or at least SOMEWHAT recognizable, than last week’s Scarlett Johansson on French Vanity Fair. I am STILL trying to see Scarlett in that cover… Instead I see more of a Blake Lively (if she would widen her eyes).

  15.  ohsohappy

    The only thing I could testify to is that I see a beautiful woman in an awkward pose on a red piece of furniture.

  16. john

    On first glance, I thought her thighs were her hind quarters.

  17. googler

    Growing up I watched telenovelas, and it seemed like Sofia always played the hot young blond mistress. I’ve never seen Modern Family, so to me this actually looks MORE like the Sofia I’m familiar with.

  18. Esme

    Completely unrecognizable–as with Scarlett, they’ve removed anything that makes her the least bit distinctive.

  19. Suzy

    Maybe Emma Watson in 10 years?

  20. witjunkie

    See, to me her face looks like she’s about 17. Maybe it’s less make up, the natural lip…I also think Penelope Cruz looks like a wee girl when her make up is off.

  21. Cynthia W

    I would have guessed young Geena Davis.

  22. Catherine

    She looks like she’s trying to crack her back…

  23. Vandalfan

    The head could be photoshopped to show her bending forward like this, or reversed, as if she was leaning backwards. The high waist makes the puffiness in the back of the top identical to the front.

  24. phxalba

    I saw Emma Watson, too, at first glance! And that pose… is she trying to stretch her back while trying to maintain eye contact? Who sits like that?

  25. HelenBackAgain

    Not only has the unique personal identity been erased from her face, so has anything resembling an ethnic identity. That woman is in no way Colombian.

    It’s pretty offensive.

    • Sajorina

      I disagree, not all Colombians look the same! She looks the way she does, but that doesn’t make her less Colombian than Shakira, who’s even from the same town as Sofia!

      • Guerra

        Nah, as a Latina & someone who knows many many Colombians she still looks it. The only change they would make is her body would be much more on show!!!

        I think it looks like her but younger.

      • googler

        And Shakira’s half Lebanese, so in that sense Sofia’s “more” Colombian than Shakira.

    • googler

      You do know most Colombians are varying mixes of ethnicities, right? Some will have more European features than others. Sofia started dyeing her hair darker for Modern Family because her natural color (which is lighter) wasn’t “ethnic” or Latina enough for casting directors.

  26. Mavis

    Aw, Eva Mendes got a magazine cover!

  27. Sajorina

    I have absolutely no problem telling that’s Sofia Vergara, but I’ve known her for 15 years! I think she looks great, but her body is awkwardly positioned! So, it’s not the most fabulous cover ever, but her head looks as gorgeous as always and I love the red headboard!

  28. Trace

    I thought Elizabeth Banks had gone brunette.

  29. Alaurable

    I went to non-pouty Lana Del Rey. She looks like she’s been vaguely European-ised (not a word but you know what I mean). I’m sure it wasnt on purpose but I like her as she is so it’s not needed.

    • HelenBackAgain

      That’s what I’m saying… only I do think it was on purpose.

  30.  jay

    This shoot made much more sense when I realized that Terry Richardson was behind it. Especially since in the inside shot, you also can only see a fraction of her face. Ugh. Creepy.

  31. TonyG

    Bazaarus horribilis.

  32. Irina

    Thought she was Billie Piper. And that her thighs were her butt. Bad all around.

  33. jc

    A little Cheryl but im thinking more of Emma Watson’s look alike mom, or Emma in about 20 years…

  34. Janice

    At that angle, I’m seeing Rachel McAdams, or even Kate Beckinsale. But frankly, all starlets with similar hair look the same to me.

    That circus outfit she has on is interesting. All she needs is a top hat, and she could be a lady lion tamer.