Fug The Cover: Natalie Portman on Elle UK


She’s gorgeous, of course, and I probably need that ridiculous sequined jacket, but I feel like her expression is muttering, “do you have any Emergen-C? I am exhausted, and I’m pretty sure I’m catching a head cold.”

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Comments (34):

  1. meggiemoo
    +25

    I feel like her hand position says, “Excuse me, I just burped.”

  2. kissmyang
    +1

    Actually the Elle cover looks fabulous compared to this:
    http://www.celebitchy.com/328711/natalie_portman_is_excited_to_move_to_paris_paris_is_getting_better_for_vegans/

    what is that red thing she is wearing on that cover? And why is her face like that?
    Jeez and sad.

    XOXO

  3. Brenna
    +6

    Oof, that’s a horribly unflattering photo. How was that the best shot they had?

  4. Jill
    0

    She lost a leg somewhere along the way…….

    Her face at least looks recognizable. Personally, I don’t think that’s the best hairstyle for a mag cover.

    • fashiondon't
      +1

      My hair looks like that when I get out of bed in the morning. They couldn’t do better? She looks exhausted.

  5. Stefanie
    +3

    She looks like I feel today.

  6. Magatha
    +9

    Is this the new Sparrow Face? The look that’s supposedly replacing Duck Face? Per Buzzfeed.

  7. Just me
    +5

    If their goal was to make me consider getting a flu shot so I don’t feel like she looks, mission accomplished. Otherwise, just…no.

  8. remi
    +2

    I’d make her look like she had a cold as well if she was wearing that on my WINTERCOATS issue.

    I think it’s totally fair.

  9. Amy
    +3

    It doesn’t look like her. Between the lips and the beauty marks, all I see is Julia Roberts (with a hint of Lea Michelle).

    • Esme
      +2

      I agree; I thought of Julia Roberts too, and Knightley. It doesn’t look like Portman; her face looks way too thin and elongated, which it’s not. And what is with that hair? Yikes.

      • Evalyn
        +4

        My first impression was Knightly, also.

        •  Jennipher
          +4

          Keira was Natalie’s double in the Phantom Menace. Keira’s mom came on set and thought Natalie was her daughter.

    • amy
      0

      I was thinking her face looks a lot like Adele’s.

  10. Janie
    +3

    Is she wearing pants? I’m confused…

    • Ellyn
      +4

      Definitely a “look into pants” situation–that surely is a blouse under the jacket and not a petite shirtdress.

  11.  Sarah
    +2

    I guess I’m in the minority, but I think she looks stunning and “high fashion”

  12. karen
    +8

    Look, if it’s cold enough for WINTER COATS, maybe you should look into pants. I just don’t get the bare leg on this cover!!

  13. googler
    +1

    I don’t hate it…but that doesn’t mean I love it. I think it’s a sign of how badly magazines photoshop celebrities when a cover (no matter how bad it looks) is redeemed by “well, at least I could tell it was Natalie Portman”.

  14. Catherine D
    +1

    Is she wearing one of those winter coats this issue is supposed to discuss? What’s wrong with this pic: too much photoshop.

  15. maryse
    +3

    ugh what a waste. vegan in paris.

  16. Roser
    +3

    she looks bored and in love with herself – as usual.

  17. linda
    +2

    For the briefest flash, when I first saw this I thought it was Kiera Knightly, who does do that sickly yet stunning look.

  18.  HelenBackAgain
    +5

    How To Make A Beautiful Woman Look Ugly, by Elle UK.

    This is SO bad, I’m amazed it was possible to take such a bad picture of Portman. I mean, with that bone structure! Yet, here it is. She looks consumptive, at least moderately deranged, and that hair – what was the hairstylist thinking?

    Also seconding remarks above about the weird finger-thing, the need for pants (or a skirt, whatever), and, while this jacket is beautiful and I want it, it’s a little strange to put such a lightweight, indoor/outdoor piece next to a hugely excited banner about WINTER COATS!

  19. purplehays
    +3

    And pants…Where did I put my pants?

  20. Moni
    +2

    That ring in combination with her hand position made me think that she was holding a perfume bottle at first glance. And I started to wonder if somebody had actually put an ad on the front of a magazine. (No doubt they will finally do just that. It’s just a matter of time and money…)
    And yes, I agree with all the posts above. Both pictures could have been SO much better!

  21. Genni D
    0

    she looks like a fetish object/ caricature of herself. was it the Photoshop or the plastic surgery?

  22. kindakute
    +2

    The look on the model of the Levis ad next to this post says it all.

  23. PrincessPiglet
    +2

    I ceased to care about the cover at all as soon as I saw that Tom Hiddleston is apparently part of the article inside. Surely there is a Well Played to be found in the pages within, if I know Hiddles.

  24. Dorien Grais
    0

    Channeling Julia Roberts…not the best Julia. But she’s pretty in anything, really.