Fug The Cover: Natalie Portman on Elle UK

She’s gorgeous, of course, and I probably need that ridiculous sequined jacket, but I feel like her expression is muttering, “do you have any Emergen-C? I am exhausted, and I’m pretty sure I’m catching a head cold.”

Leave a reply

Comments (34):

  1. meggiemoo

    I feel like her hand position says, “Excuse me, I just burped.”

  2. kissmyang

    Actually the Elle cover looks fabulous compared to this:

    what is that red thing she is wearing on that cover? And why is her face like that?
    Jeez and sad.


  3. Brenna

    Oof, that’s a horribly unflattering photo. How was that the best shot they had?

  4. Jill

    She lost a leg somewhere along the way…….

    Her face at least looks recognizable. Personally, I don’t think that’s the best hairstyle for a mag cover.

    • fashiondon't

      My hair looks like that when I get out of bed in the morning. They couldn’t do better? She looks exhausted.

  5. Stefanie

    She looks like I feel today.

  6. Magatha

    Is this the new Sparrow Face? The look that’s supposedly replacing Duck Face? Per Buzzfeed.

  7. Just me

    If their goal was to make me consider getting a flu shot so I don’t feel like she looks, mission accomplished. Otherwise, just…no.

  8. remi

    I’d make her look like she had a cold as well if she was wearing that on my WINTERCOATS issue.

    I think it’s totally fair.

  9. Amy

    It doesn’t look like her. Between the lips and the beauty marks, all I see is Julia Roberts (with a hint of Lea Michelle).

    • Esme

      I agree; I thought of Julia Roberts too, and Knightley. It doesn’t look like Portman; her face looks way too thin and elongated, which it’s not. And what is with that hair? Yikes.

      • Evalyn

        My first impression was Knightly, also.

        •  Jennipher

          Keira was Natalie’s double in the Phantom Menace. Keira’s mom came on set and thought Natalie was her daughter.

    • amy

      I was thinking her face looks a lot like Adele’s.

  10. Janie

    Is she wearing pants? I’m confused…

    • Ellyn

      Definitely a “look into pants” situation–that surely is a blouse under the jacket and not a petite shirtdress.

  11.  Sarah

    I guess I’m in the minority, but I think she looks stunning and “high fashion”

  12. karen

    Look, if it’s cold enough for WINTER COATS, maybe you should look into pants. I just don’t get the bare leg on this cover!!

  13. googler

    I don’t hate it…but that doesn’t mean I love it. I think it’s a sign of how badly magazines photoshop celebrities when a cover (no matter how bad it looks) is redeemed by “well, at least I could tell it was Natalie Portman”.

  14. Catherine D

    Is she wearing one of those winter coats this issue is supposed to discuss? What’s wrong with this pic: too much photoshop.

  15. maryse

    ugh what a waste. vegan in paris.

  16. Roser

    she looks bored and in love with herself – as usual.

  17. linda

    For the briefest flash, when I first saw this I thought it was Kiera Knightly, who does do that sickly yet stunning look.

  18.  HelenBackAgain

    How To Make A Beautiful Woman Look Ugly, by Elle UK.

    This is SO bad, I’m amazed it was possible to take such a bad picture of Portman. I mean, with that bone structure! Yet, here it is. She looks consumptive, at least moderately deranged, and that hair – what was the hairstylist thinking?

    Also seconding remarks above about the weird finger-thing, the need for pants (or a skirt, whatever), and, while this jacket is beautiful and I want it, it’s a little strange to put such a lightweight, indoor/outdoor piece next to a hugely excited banner about WINTER COATS!

  19. purplehays

    And pants…Where did I put my pants?

  20. Moni

    That ring in combination with her hand position made me think that she was holding a perfume bottle at first glance. And I started to wonder if somebody had actually put an ad on the front of a magazine. (No doubt they will finally do just that. It’s just a matter of time and money…)
    And yes, I agree with all the posts above. Both pictures could have been SO much better!

  21. Genni D

    she looks like a fetish object/ caricature of herself. was it the Photoshop or the plastic surgery?

  22. kindakute

    The look on the model of the Levis ad next to this post says it all.

  23. PrincessPiglet

    I ceased to care about the cover at all as soon as I saw that Tom Hiddleston is apparently part of the article inside. Surely there is a Well Played to be found in the pages within, if I know Hiddles.

  24. Dorien Grais

    Channeling Julia Roberts…not the best Julia. But she’s pretty in anything, really.