Fug the Cover: Miley Cyrus on Rolling Stone


Well, this is surprising and ground-breaking:

Bless her heart, I’m sure if you’d asked me how I expected Team Miley to present her on the cover of Rolling Stone, “naked with her tongue sticking out” is the last thing I would have said because of how truly unexpected and unusual that would be!

Sarcasm aside: COME ON YOU GUYS. The nudity, the omnipresent tongue — is it stuck that way?! — the tats: WE GET IT. I’m sure this cover was shot and decided upon pre-VMAs, so I can’t even wholly place the blame at the feet of Rolling Stone, who surely didn’t realize that Miles here was about to embark on an eight-week tour of tongue-flapping across the nation. But you have to wonder if Team Miley was aware that we all would reach Miley’s Tongue Maximum Saturation after about forty-five minutes. Truly, how much tongue can you take from one person? I fear we are all about to find out.

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Comments (68):

  1. Barbara
    +20

    Aaaargh, put that tongue back in your mouth child!

    • mary lou bethune
      +5

      Let us please stop taking notice of the infant terribles that are served up to us…. STOP PLEASE.

  2. Talley Lach
    +65

    It’s like when a little boy finds his penis and it’s kinda funny & cute, but only ‘cuz he’s like 2! Miley, I’m thrilled for you that you have discovered tongues are good for more than eating food, but we DON’T NEED TO SEE IT, HONEY!

  3. Stefanie
    +13

    I want to rip that tongue right out of her mouth.

    •  ErinB
      +25

      I imagine it was at this photoshoot where Hemsworth said “peace out, yo.” Or something Australian akin to that.

      • Jill
        +28

        Each and every day Liam and his family probably count their blessings that this chick is in the past.

  4.  IK
    +29

    Just think how much cooler this cover would have been if she wore a snarl instead of just puking her tongue out!

    • Erin
      +1

      Agreed. As over her as I am, I might actually applaud the nuded up cover if she had her damn tongue in her mouth.

      • Tamarin
        +5

        This picture is pretty unflattering and we’ve seen this exact same pose a million times from her so I’m kind of over it. I’m more offended by the fact that her eyeliner seems to be running =/

  5. Rowynn
    +7

    That headline made me laugh… as if Rolling Stone editors, or any of their readers, would be amazed/shocked/titillated by gratuitous semi-nudity and tasteless, provocative dancing.. C’mon, guys… really? Miley didn’t invent those things, we’ve all seen it before.

    • Lynne
      +28

      Especially when I think they had this exact cover featuring Britney about ten years ago.

      The tongue is definitely the oddest thing about the Miley publicity tour. It bothers me more than the nudity and I don’t know why.

      Truthfully, I think Miley’s probably getting a disproportionate amount of flak for her latest thing. It’s a phase. She’s looking for attention. She’ll either keep it or she won’t but at least with her, I don’t have the sinking feeling there is some evil machine directing her every move. For some reason, I’m reassured in knowing this weird little turn is entirely driven by her.

      • Brenna
        +14

        I agree; I think she is getting a disproportionate amount of flak – it reminds me of when Christina Aguilera decided she was shedding her Disney image, and she got a ton of flak for that as well.

        And honestly, I feel a little bad that Miley is bearing the brunt of all the VMA criticism while Robin Thicke is basically getting off scott-free.

        That all being said – this cover is super lame. And even if her tongue wasn’t sticking out, it isn’t even a flattering photo of her.

        • Tamarin
          +2

          I think she actually did make some comments in an interview re: no one talking about Robin Thicke’s involvment in the VMA performance and how messed up it was (paraphrasing here)

          • Brenna
            +2

            Good! I mean, she wasn’t the only person there, and because he didn’t look surprised, I have to assume he knew everything she was going to do and was ok with it.

            Plus, he should be extra-thanking her, because all the attention on her took the focus off the fact he was photographed that night with his fingers up a woman’s butt (who wasn’t his wife).

        • Maria
          +6

          Thank you! I have no admiration for. Miley and I am totally sick of her tongue, but his song is really offensive and the entire Internet didn’t rise up as one to condemn him after the VMAs like they did her.

  6. MizWeirdo
    +19

    I never thought I’d say this, but I would actually now rather take Gaga’s “look-at-me” theatrics over this bozo any day.

    Miley, please go away for a while now. Like, for a LONG, LONG while.
    I’ve had quite enough.

  7. Mongerel
    +15

    Nightingale Thrush.

  8.  ErinB
    +13

    Dear Miley, I had our DJ play “Party in the USA” during the dancing portion of our wedding reception a few years back. I choose to remember you thusly and not as the attention-seeking naked person you’ve become.

    Fond memories always,
    E

  9. Pigs in Space
    +24

    She’s looking right at me. And licking herself. And I’m old enough to be her mother. It just feels wrong.

  10. Lizzy
    +10

    Have we finally reached a point where shock for shock’s sake is no longer rebellion it is the norm? Camille Paglia did such a fine job dissecting Miley’s current schtick I’ll not bother repeating it.
    So… about the cover? It’s not attractive or provocative.Instead of generating interest in the article it makes me wonder if Miley has any real get-a-grip friends left. She needs someone sane and stable to help her move past this stage of her life. And some clothes. Actual clothes, not pasties and fishnet. Stat!

    • Esme
      +8

      Thanks, but I don’t take the opinions of someone who mocks feminists, denounces women’s studies, and thinks Madonna is a goddess seriously.

  11. Karen
    +10

    This is one tiresome little chickie. Go away.

  12. Heather
    +20

    Jessica, I am deeply impressed by your ability to write a paragraph about this photo. I can come up with only one word: Gross. Well, maybe Ew. And No. Ok, that’s three.

  13. Nanny
    +37

    I can’t stand anyone who thinks they invented sex and I hate when people are given so much attention for it. It smacks of overcompensation and makes me think she really has no idea what she is talking about.

    • A.J.
      +5

      OMG, yes! THIS.

    • nobody much
      +2

      this. For crying out loud people. Sex was invented in the ’60′s, before any of these peoples parents were even born.
      (and yeah, it was invented in the ’20′s and in the 1700s, and a whole lot of other time periods.)
      It’s not new, it’s just more in your face, and frankly, no thanks. I’d like to have singers that actually stand still, and know how to sing and maybe even have great voices.

  14. Dee
    +2

    GO AWAY.

  15. Barbara
    +4

    Remember WAY back in 2008 when Miley posed with just a sheet in Vanity Fair and everyone was scandalized that a 15-year-old was semi nude? Here’s a link:

    http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2008/06/miley200806

  16. Jules
    0

    If you think this photo is bad, you should see the one on the inside of her dirty feet – “Rolling” crappily tattooed on the bottom of one; “Stone” on the other.

  17. Bella
    +1

    And what is that tat? Looks like little swimmers hitting the tree of life egg. I fear we are witnessing the meltdown of this girl just like so many that have gone before her. Too bad her dad is such a greedy jerk that gave her over to this.

    • Erin
      +2

      That tat is a dreamcatcher.

    • LoriK
      +5

      I haven’t seen any evidence that this is Billy Ray’s doing, unless you’re saying that Hannah Montana inevitably lead to this, which clearly isn’t the case. He admitted a while back that he no longer had any real control over her and she’s of age. It’s not like he can send her to her room without dinner.

  18. nagrommm
    +3

    Yawn.

  19. AliceBlue
    +12

    Pardon me while I yawn, Miley honey, but Madonna was doing this schtick 30 years ago. And doing it much better.

  20. Sandra
    +11

    Ewwwww. The whole thing is so unsanitary! She looks like she hasn’t showered in a week, she’s licking herself (!?!), and she’s naked in the pool. I’m not sure they make enough chlorine to fix this problem.

  21. Ellie
    +4

    I just wonder if she catches stuff on her tongue, what with it hanging out like flypaper. The nudity, “twerking” etc, whatever, but I just really want her to put her tongue away. Or at the very least, give it a good scrub.

  22. jeanne
    +29

    Child,

    Do you know what would be truly unique, edgy, and individualistic – and I guarantee your friends aren’t doing it??? You, putting some clothes on and going back TO SCHOOL. Do it now, before everyone turns on you (it will happen… it always happens.). Do it now, before you decide the next chapter in My Fabulous Life is “the one where I discover heroin and die choking on my own vomit.”

  23. Nora
    +22

    Um, the awkward head angle while licking the shoulder thing is something my cat does. Honey, you’re rich enough to have plenty of bathing options; you don’t need to use your tongue.

    Also, my cat has the sense to put her tongue back in her mouth after washing with it.

  24. Marcia
    +8

    I just can’t wait till she’s 30 years old and looks back on this period in her life and career, and realizes that there is not a single photo of her without her tongue sticking out.

  25. Clementine
    +5

    OMG! Put that freaking tongue away! It’s so obviously a sign that she’s uncomfortable with what she’s doing. It’s like a little girl pulling her dress up over her head. Oh wait, doesn’t Miley do that, too?

  26. Squirrel!
    +4

    Since the look, hair, tongue, and makeup are apparently de rigueur for Miley these days, they have lost shock value to me. No, what’s making me scratch my head instead is her necklaces. Why aren’t they hanging straight down? Are they glued to her boob??

  27. Maria L.
    +9

    Sweetie, not only do you look stupid licking yourself, but it’s a really ugly photo of you also.

    PS–my dog does a far better job self-grooming with her tongue.

    • TonyG
      +4

      Yeah, Miley is not an ugly woman…this is just so very bad. She thought it would be edgy no doubt, but it is just such a horribly ugly cover.

  28.  SPJava
    +4

    I get it now Miley is the new logo for the Rolling Stones. The rock group not the mag. Everything before & since clearly the audition process. Congrats girl you blew the competition away!

  29. irism
    +4

    On the bright side, as least we all recognized her!

  30. CBD
    +2

    Can I just point out that, despite that you asked “how much tongue can you take from one person” rhetorically, your answer (45 minutes) is correct. I think we’d all agree that things go a little numb after too long. And the same can be said for Miley exposure. At this point, although it’s entertaining and I feel a little pressure to get something from it, I just want to tap it on the head, give it a sympathetic smile, roll over, and get some sleep.

  31. TonyG
    +2

    Regarding the Tongue:

    I am guessing she’s coming out with an adult-line of alcohol-flavored lollipops by Absolut called “Lick Me.”

    They are shaped as Miley’s tongue and alcohol flavored. Alcohol flaovred because…you’d have to be drunk to even consider the thought? [Okay, that was catty of me...claws retracted, because I really do love her outspokenness on LGBT issues].

    Actually, I think this is a brilliant idea. Male tweens, teens and twenty-somethings would definitely go for this. [You're welcome, Miley].

  32. Lucasta
    +4

    I am just…weary of her. I do think this whole thing is 100% intentional and she knows full well what she’s doing, but I am EXHAUSTED just looking at this. But then, I’m not her target audience.

  33. Tiffany
    +1

    I saw someone compare this image to Michael Pitt from Boardwalk Empire (same hairstyle and everything) and now it is all I can see. Jimmy in a lot of eyeliner.

  34.  Jen S. 2.0
    +4

    This has been done. It was annoying and boring then, it is annoying and boring now. And in general, if the purveyor of these so-called shocking, image-changing photos had a true, lasting talent, they wouldn’t need to be trying so hard to get our attention this way. I’m so over it, even though I was never under it.

  35. A.J.
    0

    Jessica, you did the Southern “bless your heart!”

  36. Giulia
    +2

    This girl reminds me of a friend who was the last in our group to lot his virginity. He went on blabbing about it for months,describing every single detail like it was something to be amazed by,this led to incredibly funny confessions,like: “oh my god,last night I got to be on top”. Pardon me if I was too grafic, but she is just like that: “oh my god,I know about sex” “oh my god,I know about weed”. Yes,miley,we all know about that and you’re 21,it’s pretty normal that you know about that stuff,so sit down and put your tongue were it belongs.

  37. Gal
    +4

    Dearest Fug Girls: Can you please work your magic on Miley like you do with KANYE and Jennifer “Hola Lovers” Lopez? Pretty please?

  38. lynn
    +6

    Speaking apparently in the minority, and it could be a minority of one, Miley does not bother me at all. And trust me, I am not in her intended audience age group. Her skin always looks healthy, her body looks fit, we never hear about her closing bars, collapsing on sidewalks, missing meetings, or failing to work. I think this is one entire act and I am amused at how well she is working the system. I like her. If she wants to stick her tongue out, that is better than 6 stints in rehab, several times in jail, or numerous court visits. If that happens, however, I will change my mind.

    • steph527
      +2

      Yes!!! I hate her stupid tongue out all the time but I do not feel this is, a cry for help, as many had said. Yes Madonna did it first, but she has had a very long career, so….. maybe miley is smart…or like the fug girls said, “crazy as a foxl

  39. VanDee
    +6

    The tongue thing is the visual equivalent of trying to make Fetch happen.

  40. SugarMagnolia
    +1

    I heard someone say that Miley has Macklemore hair and that’s all I can see now

  41. Julie
    0

    I just think it’s kind of sad that she looks less attractive and interesting on the Rolling Stone cover than Tsarnaev did a few months (wasn’t it months? weeks? whatever) ago. It could be a strange commentary on our culture, or just some kind of fluke.

  42. G
    0

    You’ll have to take back your complaints about Jessica Simpson’s open-mouthed poses now that we’ve all seen this.

  43. Sajorina
    +2

    I don’t condone violence or abuse of any kind, but THIS has inspired me to bring out unwavering toughness!

    “Listen to me, Destiny Hope, GROW UP! You will sit decently clothed (with underwear underneath) while I scrub all that spackle off your face with a Brillo pad and Ajax with bleach, get rid of all your piercings, and give your hair a crew cut, which you won’t touch until it grows back all the same length in its natural color! And now you will come with me to the dentist where they will wire your teeth shut, so your tongue stops trying to escape your mouth! GOT IT?” -Me

  44. sara
    0

    For some reason, this reminds me of the first (?) episode of “3rd Rock from the Sun” when the aliens realize their human bodies won’t allow them to swivel their heads 180 degrees. Dick asks “how do they lick their backs?”

  45. Jenz
    0

    Most of her antics I can chalk up to her age but the tongue thing brings out my old Southern grandmomma. It’s vulgar, which is a step past trashy and about five past edgy. I read the online part of that article and she kept talking about her ‘homies’ and ‘living that life’ and how much of an inspiration that Kanye West has been to her (seriously) recently and how nice he’s been to her (yeah, now that Kim doesn’t have time for him 24/7 anymore). I liked the article up to that point… she was showing some maturity up until she broke out the ‘homies’ and freakin’ Kanye, etc. The sad thing is that 1) She’s right, Robin Thicke is partly to blame and yet no one is doing so (how do you NOT know your fingers are up someone’s hooch?) and 2) she honestly has a great voice (Look for her singing Jolene online) and that talent is going to be overshadowed by her antics.

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