Rock on Kerry Washington — after an inexplicable cover drought, she gets to dominate summer with them. Shame I don’t really care for either one.

Yes, this makes me want to get in a pool, and no, I don’t have one, so YES, I’m sad now. But, it’s funny — water is usually what distorts things, yet on this cover it’s the bits of her that are OUT of the pool that look the strangest. Her hands seem massive, which I do not believe they are, and what is happening to her face? Her right cheek looks like she just got wisdom teeth extracted, and the left side — particularly the eye — seems like it’s been an unsubtle upward yank. When will these people figure out that their cover subjects are invariably REALLY REALLY ATTRACTIVE without any overzealous help? Let’s be honest, if they weren’t good-looking, they wouldn’t be there in the first place. Kerry Washington looks perfectly beautiful on every red carpet and in every episode of Scandal, so why are the magazines 0 for 2 in translating that to the covers? Particularly this one, because of how weird it is. STOP WITH THE MONKEYING. DON’T BRING IT ON DOWN TO WONKUSVILLE. Be it changing your lighting, your angle, or your Photoshop, please, y’all, find a way to let their faces do the work without doing so much work to their faces. If they wanted it done, they’d be doing it themselves, on the sly.