Fug the Cover: Kerry Washington on “Vanity Fair”

Rock on Kerry Washington — after an inexplicable cover drought, she gets to dominate summer with them. Shame I don’t really care for either one.

Yes, this makes me want to get in a pool, and no, I don’t have one, so YES, I’m sad now. But, it’s funny — water is usually what distorts things, yet on this cover it’s the bits of her that are OUT of the pool that look the strangest. Her hands seem massive, which I do not believe they are, and what is happening to her face? Her right cheek looks like she just got wisdom teeth extracted, and the left side — particularly the eye — seems like it’s been an unsubtle upward yank. When will these people figure out that their cover subjects are invariably REALLY REALLY ATTRACTIVE without any overzealous help? Let’s be honest, if they weren’t good-looking, they wouldn’t be there in the first place. Kerry Washington looks perfectly beautiful on every red carpet and in every episode of Scandal, so why are the magazines 0 for 2 in translating that to the covers? Particularly this one, because of how weird it is. STOP WITH THE MONKEYING. DON’T BRING IT ON DOWN TO WONKUSVILLE. Be it changing your lighting, your angle, or your Photoshop, please, y’all, find a way to let their faces do the work without doing so much work to their faces. If they wanted it done, they’d be doing it themselves, on the sly.

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Comments (21):

  1. Cynthia W

    What did they do to her mouth? For real – she’s beautiful and doesn’t need Photoshop.

  2. Goldfish

    Didn’t we just see the black evening wear version of this swimsuit!?

  3. Donna

    She appears to be neckless, a man’s hands are pushing her head down, and her body has shrunk to child-size. It’s a visual nightmare.

  4. googler

    When I saw this at the grocery store, my first thought was “I can’t wait to see what the Fug Girls think of this”. The distortion of this is too bizarre – who looked at that photo and said “Cover Material”?! And we all know Kerry’s gorgeous, has beautiful skin and amazing bone structure. Yet this picture somehow looks like Kerry 20 years from now with work done.

    • porchswing

      I also saw this today, and it’s so much worse in print. I think they tried to see how badly they could distort her. Her mouth looks like those wax Halloween lips.

  5. Melly

    I think I wore that lipstick color in the late 80s/early 90s…in the winter. And they slap it on her for SUMMER 2013? Without searching the cover for the name of the woman pictured, I would not know this was K Washington.

  6. giggleswick

    My hed iz pasted on yay!

    Donna’s right. She’s neckless, so it looks like her head is superglued to her man hands (not that she actually has man hands) and being held in position. Doesn’t look like it belongs to the body. So weird.

  7. Stefanie

    I dont get it. Why would they think this was a good idea for a cover shot? It’s not.

  8. steen

    I urge every member of Fug Nation to run out and buy a copy of this VF right away. This will accomplish two goals. We will be able to review the real cover and see how bad the photoshop is, and hopefully it will spike sales so that another 6 years don’t go by before they put another woman of color on their cover.

    • Elbyem

      Seconded! Even though in addition to all of the sins already noted about this cover – I don’t know a sista alive who’d wear a white swimsuit like this – the “girls” are too visible through it!

  9. Leah

    All I can see in this is her unfortunate ending in Last King of Scotland.

  10. Beth

    I’m glad I wasn’t drinking while I read this, because that “bring it on down to wonkusville” line would have resulted in a spit-take for sure.

    Heather – thank you for brightening my Friday!

  11. Leah M

    Funny post, Heather, and I agree it must be really hard to make a woman as beautiful as Kerry Washington look awkward, but what really made me laugh was Movie Stars and Billionaires vs. Nature’s Wrath. Who knew that America’s super rich playgrounds had a looming danger? And in spite of myself, I want to know what it is!

    • Petrova Fossil

      It’s disappearing beaches. It’s actually an alarming article, not, you know, because we should all feel for the billionaires and movie starts, but for the implications for us mortals.

  12. Trace

    Has anyone noticed that Kerry somehow seems a bit “whiter” these days? Have a look at her earliest entries in the GFY archives and then compare them to more recent ones – looks like there’s some skin-lightening going on. Which is a shame as she’s gorgeous anyway!

    • ┬áLibraryChick

      Flashes, makeup, and lighting can make a huge difference, but I can say without hesitation my Filipina mother is lighter than she was thirty years ago, and there was no skin-lightening treatment involved. Several people lose pigment over time. It’s just more obvious when the person has more pigment initially, but it doesn’t mean Ms. Washington has done anything to hers. She is a beautiful woman regardless with that bone structure.

  13. Jules

    Speaking of photo shoppping, I saw it done on TV the other day. Yep, I was watching the Young & the Restless and Nikki was talking to Billy. She was wearing a sleeveless dress. In one scene, her upper arm and arm pit area looked like you would expect it to look on someone her age. Not super awful, but not toned. In the next scene, her arm and pit were blurred out a bit so that there wasn’t as much skin bunched up or moving around. At first I thought I imagined it, so I replayed the scene and sure enough – photo shop on TV. I weep for the future.

  14. HelenBackAgain

    I don’t know who THAT is, but THIS is Kerry Washington:


    And she’s lovely. They should’ve just used her. This girl isn’t even a close look-alike.

  15. Petrova Fossil

    I have been waiting for you to fug this cover since my copy came in the mail last week. How can you ruin a cover when she is your subject? That takes some doing.

  16. Rebecca

    My husband saw this cover and was like, “WHY did they do that to her head? Where is her neck???”

  17. Kristin

    They should have used the shot of Kerry in Versace that appears inside; it’s stunning. The article is actually more interesting than many Vanity Fair celebrity cover stories, because it focuses on how the show treats a powerful woman of color being the star in a very matter-of fact way. Also, former DC mayor Marion Barry is a fan who tweets hilariously about the show (“SCANDAL SCANDAL SCANDAL!!!!!”)