Here’s my usual positive-feedback-caveat about Elle: God bless them for having actual articles. Sometimes I feel like Elle is the only magazine that remembers I know how to read. And I’m excited to get this issue at home — both because I like Emma Stone, and because I am curious to see what the subscribers cover looks like (it’s always better, or at least artier). Plus, that article about THE UNCONSUMMATED MARRIAGE is going to be interesting. AND I want to know how to make my $50 dress look like a million bucks. But I have a question, and this it is: AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO LOOKED AT THIS AND HEARD TYRA BANKS’S VOICE SQUAWKING IN MY EAR ABOUT ELONGATING ONE’S NECK? Or do I need to get some medication for that?

[Cover: Elle.com]