Fug or Fab the Cover: Jessica Simpson


fug-or-fab

Let me guess: HOW GAINING WEIGHT MADE HER HAPPIER does not include the actual REASON Jessica Simpson has gained a ton of weight lately, namely, that she is GESTATING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. Which surely has made her happier, and is a very good reason to BE happy, but was certainly totally unmentioned in this interview. That always seems so very awkward for a magazine — and maybe, therefore, it’s a good rule of thumb to not run a cover line like, “how gaining weight made her happier” when you know that, based on photos and rumors from at least the last several months, THE HER in question might be cooking a bun in ye old oven. At least so as to avoid people rolling their eyes when they see the cover line.

THAT BEING SAID: I actually think J. Simp looks really pretty here. Yes, her hair — to filch a line from Heather — looks as though it’s been dropped on her head from above. That is one big-ass wig. But her makeup is pretty and natural and she looks NORMAL, rather than like a girl with a stuffed-up nose who just got hit on the back of the head with a brick, which is how she often looks in photos. With that, I can find no fault.

What do you think?

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Comments (59):

  1. Maria
    0

    I hate the lip color….it’s not flattering on her at all!

    • Mair Mair
      0

      Agreed. But to be fair to JS, highlighter pink is not flattering on hardly anyone.

      • Mair Mair
        0

        Also, “not flattering on hardly anyone” sounded better in my head than it looks in writing.

      • Jennifer
        0

        Nor does it help that the headline text matches said lip color. It just looks weird.

  2. EmSpeaks
    0

    I agree that it’s a better look than usual, but I also second the lip-color hate (I’m distracted that it matches some of the text). And the hair is a bit ridiculous.

    • silly philly
      0

      Yes–that lipcolour really pops off the page being an exact match of “Look your prettiest!” and not in a good way. Regardless, I gave her “looks good!” because this is so improved and she’s not gawping.

      • Adriana
        0

        It almost looks like half of her mouth is one color and the other half another. Must be some weird shadow.

    • Alix
      0

      Ditto! The lipstick’s wearing her.

  3. taylor
    0

    girlfriend gets FULL marks from me for not posing with her mouth open.

    • RosieB
      0

      AGREED. Most of it may be Feh but at least she has a nice smile on her face rather than that usual dopey look that photographers seem to love!

  4. Dazie
    0

    She used to look so PRETTY all the time. The pretty party dresses, the beautiful smile, the perfect hair. No mom-jeans, no caftans.

    Glad to see she’s getting back to that, but yeah- the lipstick, even though it is one of my favorite colors, has to go.

  5. Linda
    0

    For some reason she reminds me of Kim from Real Housewives of ATL. Maybe it’s the big wig.

    • Maria
      0

      Oh my, I can totally see the resemblance. They could be long-lost sisters!

  6. lisas
    0

    She looks like Kyra Sedgwick in this picture. I’ve been staring at it trying to figure that out for a while now. It sort of looks like they photoshopped a whole new mouth onto her face.

    • Annie E
      0

      I don’t see Sedgwick, but I think her mouth just looks like it’s not used to being in that position in front of the camera.

      • lisas
        0

        Heh, closed?

      • Niao
        0

        See, I wasn’t thinking Sedge either. I was actually interested at first because I was all like “Yeah, where HAS Faith Hill been?”

    • Kris
      0

      YES! That’s who it is! Kyra Sedgwick! I think they shopped the cleft in JSimp’s chin out or something…

    • scott
      0

      I saw Kyra Sedgwick too! I searched the cover for clues as to who it was, and when I saw J Simp I thought, “No, it’s not her…..where’s the open mouth and vacuous expression?” Weird.

  7. PeggyO
    0

    That lipstick is a crime. Just two stages beyond as pink as it needs to be.

  8. Dionne
    0

    I had to double-check the title to make sure it was J.Simp. She doesn’t look anything like herself. She most resembles the original Victoria on The Young and the Restless. That’s honestly who I thought it was at first.

  9. LG
    0

    I actually like the lip color. Orchid. I think it’s perky, and she looks terrific (apart from the wig, obviously). And praise Jeebus for not looking like she’s recovering from anesthesia.

  10. heather
    0

    I have such a soft spot for her that I don’t care about anything beyond the fact that she doesn’t look stunned and gape-mouthed for a change, and if her clothes are horrible, I can’t tell. The lipstick? Aw, hell. I have that shade in Dior. It’s ridiculous but it’s fun. I hope her happiness lasts.

  11. namidu
    0

    It’s weird to me. She doesn’t look like herself, somehow. In fact, the longer I stare at it, the more she keeps reminding me of a trashier of Kyra Sedgwick.

  12. namidu
    0

    Note to self: Read comments before posting something completely redundant.

  13. Geemee
    0

    What bothers me about the lippy is that it appears to be two different shades — like, one side of her mouth is darker than the other. That’s what caught my attention before anything else, even the yooge headlines. Her eyes are lovely, tho, and she looks happy. Her hair is a wig? I just thought it was a good weave. If it’s a wig, why do the roots have to be so dark?

  14. Anna
    0

    I can’t deal with the serious roots showing. Get a flipping touch up already!

  15. Carol
    0

    Never mind the lipstick … the news here is that JSimp is replicating a race of open-mouthed children … be afraid, be very afraid

    • Anne B
      0

      Having kids who are “just like you” is one of those things that is actually its own punishment.

      Yeah. Not worried (for me) :)

  16. Heidi
    0

    Also, she was fat WAY before she got pregnant.

  17. dee
    0

    She looks great and I really can see the sisterly resemblance to Ashley here. Hair, crazy but clean and brushed. Lip color, uhhh no. But it’s way better than Khloe the klown’s shade above.

  18. Anne B
    0

    As distracting as the lipstick is, I side with other posters who think J-Simp’s smile is progress — as in, it’s like the look you’d give another human, not the business end of a buffet.

    Re “gaining weight made her happier”: hmmmm. Maybe we’ve secretly returned to the 1950′s — when you couldn’t say “I’m pregnant” on camera or in interviews, but you could say “I’m having a baby”? Maybe “I’ve never been happier” is the new “heads-up, world, bundle of joy in 9 … 8 … 7 …”

    There would be an up side to this. All those guys who are making these women “so happy”: now they’ll look at their glowing, healthier, delighted ladies, and pass out.

  19. Annie
    0

    At least her mouth isn’t open?

  20. Bella
    0

    Is that wig just perched atop her head!?!

    As to the lip color – atrocious. Reminds me of a Crayola crayon shade, Orchid.

  21. msEW
    0

    i think she looks better than usual here.
    one thing i did want to point out is that even though a lot of “oh, shes preg, thats why shes heavier” has been said, shes been heavier than she used to be for the last couple years at least. Im not judging, you never know underlying reasons why people may gain or lose weight, and if shes happy im happy, shes really beautiful at all sizes. but now that shes preg and however months along doesnt really relate to her weight gain over the last couple years. so, in conclusion, happier with weight gained still applies.

  22. Janet
    0

    Jessica…I object with your defense a bit. Natural make-up? Where in nature does that lip color exist? Maybe Pepto-Bismol, but even that soothing stuff is not that neon.

  23. LMM
    0

    Why is her lipstick drawn on over her natural lip line? It’s so distracting I can’t tell if she looks good otherwise or not.

  24. Sketchy
    0

    tone down that lippie and she looks great. It looks like they decided to coordinate her lips with the sidebar, not a good look.

  25. Angie
    0

    To me this photo looks like someone ‘shopped Ashley Simpson’s nose onto her sisters face. It reminds me of those photobooths where you and your boyfriend/significant other can have your features smooshed into what you kid might look like (only with her sister instead of her bf/so).
    I three-hundredth the bad lipcolor choice!

  26. vandalfan
    0

    Undoubtedly they photoshopped the fuschia Hi Lighter lip color to draw attention to their screaming headlines. And roots WHAT.

  27. Melissa
    0

    I am fretting over that spooky/unfortunate cleavage line. It looks like it’s curving in before you’d expect it to, and I don’t know if that’s just an angle or some kind of photoshop spandrel but it creeps me and if only I can see it then I’m even more creeped.

  28. Reemzies
    0

    I can’t decide if I actually dislike the lip color or if I just can’t deal with the fact that it’s the exact same color as the text

  29. Bexmarie
    0

    I’ve always been such a fan of Jessica Simpson ever since Newlyweds! I would stick up for her when people called her dumb saying “it takes a smart girl to play dumb sometimes!” Now she’s a billionaire. She just seems so genuinely NICE and down-to-earth I can’t say a bad thing about her. She looks super happy here and beautiful at any weight.

    Also I like the lipstick, but it is distracting that it matches the text.

  30. Charlotte
    0

    I’m so glad I’m not the only person who looked at this and thought for a crazy second that it was Kyra Sedgewick. Which is bad news for Lucky, because I adore Kyra and would totally buy a magazine that had an interview with her. JSimp…not so much.

  31. Lina
    0

    Terrible lipstick color, but she looks happy and present instead of vapid and/or sedated (her usual). She DOES look a little like Kyra Sedgewick now, at least with that little sparkle in her eye. Kyra is so vivacious and energetic, that’s a good look for JS to aspire to.

  32. Sue
    0

    I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who was thrown off by that garish lipstick! I can’t decide if they Photoshopped it to match the text or vice versa. Either way, it’s doing her no favors, because she’d look amazing with a different color.

  33. Kelly O
    0

    I cannot get past That Lipstick.

    I mean, the hair is kind of awful, and but That Lipstick makes her face look a weird color. I can’t see anything else, so I really can’t comment that much because That Lipstick keeps drawing me in.

  34. Chris
    0

    Oh seriously, are you hating on her big hair?

    She’s from Texas, for crying out loud. The only state with bigger hair is Jersey, and that’s just for the people who haven’t let go of the ’80′s yet. (I specifically did not include Snooki in this because she belongs to Staten Island.) If J.Simp can’t have big hair, then who can?

    The lipstick is…heinous, yes. But she does look pretty otherwise.

  35. NYCGirl
    0

    What everyone else said about the lipstick matching the text being distracting. She does look good, though.

  36. Sajorina
    0

    I think she looks cute and natural, except for the 14 lbs. of hair extensions emanating from her scalp!

  37. CJ
    0

    I don’t understand — she is a pretty girl with pretty hair. Why the neon lipstick and the mountains of fake/teased hair? But she looks very *present* in this photo, and that’s a vast improvement over her usual deer in the headlights/open mouth look.

  38. Megaera919
    0

    Please incude category: “I just can’t. But I’d love to see how other people voted.”
    xo

  39. Amanda
    0

    Does anyone else think she looks kinda like Kyra Sedgewick in this picture?

  40. Amanda
    0

    I guess I should have read the comments before I left my own >.< I'm glad I'm not the only one who saw J.Simp as K.Sedge's doppelganger!

  41. Erin
    0

    I just hate that her lipstick matches the text. Other than that, fine.

  42. RenaissanceGrrl
    0

    This is horrible, I didn’t even recognize her!

  43. OLYCJC
    0

    Actually, looks like they got half way through photo-shopping her mouth, went on a break when they couldn’t decide the color, & said, yeah, this works with the print color, go for it, forgetting to do the other side…