I presume Salma’s personal life has improved since she married WhatsHisName — although I’m sure she didn’t really appreciate his being in that messy child support lawsuit with Linda Evangelista — but I have my doubts about her wardrobe.

You’d think being married to a man who owns parts of Gucci, YSL, and Balenciaga would mean that your dress would always fit perfectly. I mean, you’d think just being SALMA HAYEK would mean that your dress would always fit perfectly. Because you have SOMEONE to call SOMEONE ELSE and say, “can we get the next size up for Ms Hayek?” She is beyond lovely and she has a tremendous body but maybe she’s a Victoria Grayson Megafan, because this thing is just half a size too snug for my taste. The good news is that she has that face to keep her warm at night.

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Tags: Salma Hayek
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