Well, at least we know what Emma is going to do after Potter.
It will be called Twirl Power, and it will be a Lifetime movie about an Olympic-caliber rhythmic gymnast who, to make ends meet, becomes a Kind Touching massage therapist. Because in my mind, ALL Lifetime movies now end in Kind Touching. The network should just rename itself Kindtouchtime. And then, like, Project Runway could turn into something where the designers all have to pay for the production costs by becoming Kind Touching massage therapists in their off time.
Anyway, now that I’ve made the requisite gymnastics leotard joke about the top part of this dress — which seems to be chafing — let’s actually step back and look at the whole thing.
It’s actually not bad. I just can’t stop wishing it were EITHER totally sleeved, or totally sleeveless, and not this weird and uncomfortable-looking hybrid. I also think the heavy cork sole on her shoes is too much, but what do I know? I can’t wave a wand and make us protected from Ultimate Evil, and my purse is not a tiny little drawstring bag that I’ve bewitched to fit textbooks, clothes, portraits, food, and a giant tent. So maybe I should shut my piehole and just — SPOILER, I guess? — let Hermione reconnect with her memory-wiped dentist parents.
Sigh. Poor Emma. She will be forty and I’ll still be making magic jokes, all, “Dude, what boggart in your closet handed you THIS to wear?”
[Photos: Splash News]