Fug or Fab: Charlize Theron


fug-or-fab

So, of course, at first I was like, “FUGGERY AHOY.”

And I still kind of hate the hair. And the white strings hanging from the shirt aren’t really working for me. But the longer I stared at the rest of it, the more I got on board. Classic case of, if Anne Hathaway had been wearing this, I’m sure I’d feel differently (and probably accidentally write a whole post about how I’m concerned getting engaged to this new dude is not the greatest idea given the Blind Items people suspect might be about her, ALLEGEDLY, etc.). But on Charlize, it works, because of her Charlizeness. She has that relaxed chicness to her, innately, that means you can drape anything on her that’s slouchy and maybe not even that special, and she will elevate it to the point that she starts a conversation. Maybe it doesn’t totally work. Maybe it magically does. But you’ll definitely look at it. And you’ll think about it. And you’ll get confused. And you’ll make decisions about your feelings and then back off of them five minutes later, and caffeine won’t help, and neither will leftover pie, nor How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days on HBO, and then suddenly you’re just thinking about whether Kate Hudson should still be a thing, and so you give up and throw in a poll.

And here is that poll:

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[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (34):

  1. Lina
    0

    Studio 54 all over again, though thankfully without the blue eyeshadow.

  2. LoriK
    0

    She is working this. It looks significantly better on her than it did on the model who wore it in the runway show. I’m still meh on the skirt and hate that gold detailing that’s not quite on the waist though. No amount of Charlize can change that.

  3. Annie E
    0

    That is so cryptic. Why do people think the stories might be about Anne Hathaway?

    Charlize’s hair is so distracting (and I don’t like the lipstick either) that I have to cover up her head to like the dress at all.

    • Heather
      0

      Because it was written during Batman filming and lined up with the production break, plus a few other clues.

  4. Mongerel
    0

    I think this dress is probably very attractive and floaty in motion, but frankly it just looks sad and wan hanging off her like that. Maybe it’s just that photograph. Is that a purse or a pancake holster? The pose looks like she’s wishing she were wearing cowboy boots and chaps. I expect her to toss her head to the left and let go with a stream of tobacco juice any second.

  5. Jamie
    0

    1. She looks like she just stepped off the set of her Dior perfume commercial. I’m pretty sure those are the exact shoes she wears in it.

    2. Those blind items seem way more in line with January Jones than Anne Hathaway – she got knocked up (“babysitting”), supposedly by a married man, while filming X-men (“big film”) with “drama last time around” (i.e. the un-edited leak from the Wolverine movie). Also, the *alleged* DUI/walk of shame photo debacle that occurred about two weeks before those items were posted seems to fit in with #2.

    • Kris
      0

      Are both of those blind items about the same girl? Whomever #2 applies to, sheeeeesh.

      Charlize can pretty much pull off anything.

      • megs283
        0

        I just fell down the fun rabbit hole of blind items. Wahoo!

      • Amber
        0

        #2 is allegedly J Lo.
        I don’t know how much faith I would ever put in blind items, but they’re fun to read.
        Also, Charlize is one of the few that could actually wear a burlap sack and look good.

    • Heather
      0

      #2 isn’t supposed to be the same girl as #1, and the timing of #1 doesn’t fit with J.Jones.

  6. Graham
    0

    I feel that we need to cut Charlize some slack, the girl has been depressed lately and wearing some horrid outfits that depict her internal emotions. I think this is a welcome step in the right direction…let’s hope she keeps getting better and not worse! Cheer up Charlize!!!

  7. Dazie
    0

    She’s totally working it. Look at her eyes- they say “You got somethin’ to say?” as if she’s daring us to hate it.

    LOVE IT. (on her) Although I concur- the white dangly bits need to go.

    • Mair Mair
      0

      See, I look at her eyes and see “hey, I just smoked some great sh**.”

  8. Ladyblahblah
    0

    The dress fits like someone just unzipped it for her and she is about to step out of it. However, I can’t give this proper attention since the American Apparel ads in the sidebar are once again making me wonder if their advertising department is staffed exclusively by members of a kiddy porn ring.

  9. Heather
    0

    Hmm. I’m only getting an American Apparel ad with a dude in a button-down shirt. I’ll keep an eye out… Thanks.

    • Ladyblahblah
      0

      The one that I get is of a very young girl. The thing that creeps me out about their ads is that they typically contain very, very young looking girls with blank expressions who look like they are being photographed in someone’s bedroom with a polaroid. Maybe this is the AA brand identity and I’m just not young or fashion forward enough to get it….

      • megs283
        0

        it is their brand identity, and it’s not just you. It’s super creepy. (My AA ad is of a girl’s backside in tights… but hey, you can’t see her face, so she could be legal!)

  10. Anne B
    0

    This looks like something I’ve tried before. Would try again, actually. The old “I-know-it’s-too-big-I-should-try-a-belt-awww-f**k-it-let’s-do-this” maneuver: I know it well.

    Not that I needed a reminder that carbs are my friend; still, thanks for this.

  11. TTBelle
    0

    I like the hair.

  12. vandalfan
    0

    If the gold detail was up under her bust in an empire waistline, then the decollete’ would not be so huge, and the dangly bits would not look untied, and it would not give the impression that, with one good gust of wind, she’d be standing there in the all together with the dress around her ankles.

  13. val.
    0

    I dunno, seems a little desperate.

  14. CJ
    0

    This woman could wear a paper bag and look gorgeous. She really doesn’t need to try hard, and she seems to be trying soooo hard here. The weird position of her foot like she’s been rehearsing “Hey, Big Spender” all day, the top cut down to her navel and the female equivalent of the “Blue Steel” look. Also, I don’t like the cut of this dress on her. It almost seems like they sent her the wrong size dress, she didn’t have anything else, so she’s doing her best to make this work. In the correct size instead of hanging off of her and with more normal d├ęcolletage and the strings tied like a bow, this is probably cute.

    Second Blind item is freaking me out.

  15. Michele
    0

    Please tell me that the ‘he’ in blind item 1. is not Christian Bale. Good lord, if the girl is dumb enough to fall for that load of walking narcissism there is no hope for her. What is her obsession with conceited, slightly sociopathic creepers anyway?

  16. Sue
    0

    I can’t see anything below her neck. I refuse to do so until she gives up on long hair. She’s a beautiful woman who ROCKED short hair. The long hair on her makes me remember that I’m not all that nuts about her personality.

  17. Sajorina
    0

    I love this on Charlize! The only tiny thing bothering me is those white strings hanging from the shirt, which I guess are supposed to be tied into a bow, but if she had done that, the gold necklaces (that I love) wouldn’t have worked! It’s a FAB for me!

  18. Geemee
    0

    I love everything about this. The first word that popped into my head was “GODDESS.” They face, the body language, she is working the hell outta this and not even trying that hard. J’Adore the dress and shoes. (see what I did there?)

  19. Sandra
    0

    WTF is this? Stella McCartney for Anne Bonney? aRRRRRRRgh!

  20. Silly Mama
    0

    She reminds me of Sharon Stone. That is not a compliment.

    • coexxi
      0

      My first thought also was Sharon Stone, but in a good way, I have to admit. The hair is funky.

  21. George Lass
    0

    On anyone else, I would despise this. On Charlize? Slouchily, suggestively spectacular, somehow without for a second seeming sleazy. She has a naturally regal quality that makes this kind of thing, well, possible. Gorgeous.

  22. Molly R
    0

    I’ve actually been thinking about this outfit since I first laid eyes on it and CANNOT get it out of my head. I LOVE it, with a capital L.O.V.E.