Fug Men

Normally, I would inject a lengthy diatribe here about how Christina Hendricks NEEDS TO LEARN WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR BOOBS IT’S CALLED A V-NECK AND I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DON’T OWN ONE.

But I am tired. And I give up.

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Comments (52):

  1. Jenny

    the worst….one day it’s all boobs up to my chin and the next it’s covered up like nobody’s business

  2. CH

    This is terrible. She looks so awesome on the show. Maybe she should put a bag over her head, stand in front of the mirror, and be really honest with herself before going out every day.

  3. Kestralyn

    I don’t mind that she’s covered up. I mind the fact that she has totally FRUMPED herself up. She’s so beautiful and she looks like… well, me if my hair was that shade of red.

  4. Simone

    Oh dear, stumpy black and white.

  5. Shannon

    Her hair bothers me the most here. It’s so severe and makes her head look disproportionately small. But yeah, the turtleneck is not her friend either.

  6. Anne B

    Ohhhh Miss Holloway! I mean Mrs. Harris, thank God! Can you please show where the ladies room is, I’ve been running around this office for what seems like hours, Mr. Draper’s going to be in any minute now and that bitch Peggy wouldn’t even give me directions …

    I’m sorry. You’re right. “Miss Olsen.”

    And by the way if there’s anything I can do to help you out at home just let me know! I know you’re so private and everything and I’m not sure I was even supposed to know, but … oh, you’re right, there’s the door! Thanks so much! Tha -

  7. vandalfan

    Dear god, that’s all satin, cruel satin, every inch, even the lining that’s peeking out beneath the stumpifying hem. And pale needs to be deployed carefully. She looks like a Kabuki player here.

    I’m docking her five yards and taking away her cute little metal football.

  8. Sally

    Stumpy, frumpy and grumpy. Well, I’d be grumpy if I had what looks like very painful bunions.

  9. wordphreak

    And her pose, too. She always does that weird thing with the cocked ankle. Looks awful.

  10. Mikki

    From saucy bar wench in pink satin to buttoned up schoolmarm in a turtleneck…is something inbetween those two so difficult? Apparently so…

  11. yael

    please get this woman a stylist. PLEASE.

  12. islandgirl1

    Why doesn’t she just get the clothing designer of Mad Men to make her some clothes??!! I mean, I know the designer must be busy, but I’m sure she’d be willing to throw a couple things out there.

  13. gladly

    You know, I used to feel sorry for her, but now I think she’s just irresponsible. If the universe has been this generous with you in beauty, you’ve got to be a good caretaker of it! One more bad outfit, and her beauty powers should be taken away and given to someone who use them for good!

  14. Sando

    This is her punishing everyone for complaining about her boobs.

  15. Amber

    Is this not a wax statue? Are we sure? I am all for pale, but good lord, woman. She makes the Cullens look human.
    And as far as the boobs go…I don’t know what to say anymore, either. She either serves them on a tray, or completely denies that they exist.
    It’s just not fair that she has been given so much to work with, and yet blows it. I would like to have even half of her natural beauty. 1/3, even, and I could do better. Hell, I could shop at Wal-Mart and do better.

  16. veeerules

    Dear Christina Hendricks:
    You don’t have not the only blessed/cursed figure on earth… Most of us buy clothes and bras from the UK. You, on the other hand, can afford a tailor. And a stylist. Figure it out.

  17. K-Star

    Oh, I see why she whips out the boobs all the time! Without them she’s plain-ass Dowdy McDowderson and few people would ever pay her any mind. Ugh.

  18. Christopher D

    Shiney Mother Of Pearl Christina, what in the name of all that is Fugly is your deal? Firstly get your hand out of the pocket, you are making bad, worse!
    You are beautiful, have a full wonderful figure, great red hair, and you are dressed as a frump. Just stop it. You look like a badly made-up & dressed corpse, with, yes bunions… I agree with Jessica, but I think I’m not just tired, I think you exhaust me.

  19. Kate

    As horrible as the top is (and it IS), those shoes are like a one-way ticket to Bunion Town.

  20. LoriK

    How is it even possible for a woman that pretty to be out in the world looking that bad? I have run out of ways to say, “Hire a decent stylist already.” She is not poor and looking good is part of her job. There is no excuse for this and it’s really starting to annoy me.

  21. peaches

    *sigh* I don’t even know what to say. Yesterday was boobs-a-rama, today she could practically be the new schoolmarm in Walnut Grove. If I had a fraction of her money, I would have a FABULOUS wardrobe. And a full length mirror. Sadely, it appears she has neither.

  22. snuffy

    Why is it acceptable around here to pick on someone for her skin colour so openly? The idea is to make commentary on the clothes and accessories, but she can’t change her complexion (which usually looks fresh & gorgeous imo) so it shouldn’t be up for discussion.

  23. Kellyellyoxenfree

    I thought her purse was a giant belt buckle at first. I guess it’s a slight improvement that it’s not.

  24. Marianna

    Things I don’t understand: why she is always making that smirky face on the runway.

  25. erin

    I nominate her for an episode of What Not to Wear: Celebrity Version.

  26. LoriK

    @snuffy: She can’t change her complexion (and shouldn’t). She can chose clothing and make-up that enhances it rather than making her look terrible. The problem is not her skin, it’s her (total lack of decent) style.

  27. amy

    It’s acceptable to talk about her skin color when she chooses to wear something that makes her look like a corpse. My skin is that color, too, and I know what flatters it.

  28. Christopher D

    @ Snuffy, I don’t think that is her skin colour – that is poorly applied make-up in an unflattering shade. (And also partly due to the darkly lined eyes and strongly coloured lips.)

  29. Lisa

    I yelled ‘I KNOW!’ out loud. That is all.

  30. Sandra

    She must just be f’ing with us, right? How can somebody who works in front of a camera be so unaware of what looks good on her?

    Forget hiring the MM costume designer to make a separate real-life wardrobe; just buy the Joan Harris clothes already.

  31. Lina

    When will she learn that she can’t wear black and still look like she has a pulse? She can’t wear black and white together, either — because her complexion isn’t a winter, as they used to call it. (She’s a cool-undertoned spring.) And word on the V-neck! What she’s doing here is dreadful.

  32. LG

    I mean, has she not SEEN Mad Men? She’s surely at least SEEN it, right? Surely she can look at the couple dozen episodes they’ve done so far and say, “Hmmm… I look ridiculously bangin’ 100% of the time on this show. I wonder what the common threads are to my character’s ensembles? Let’s see: solids, jewel tones, nipped waists, reasonable necklines, textured fabrics, smart, understated accessories, soft makeup. EUREKA!”

    This CANNOT be this hard, even with modern silhouettes, because she has like SEVEN ZILLION DOLLARS NOW.

  33. e

    a v-neck is not, in fact, a particularly good solution once you pass a certain size unless it is EXTREMELY well-designed. sad experience says so. scoops and other wide necklines are better — but then people start yelling about cleavage again, so really, there’s no way to win. people want an excuse to stare, and will use whatever they can find.

  34. LoriK

    What LG said. The woman looks great on her TV show all the time. She does not look dead or frumpy or like her bosom is plotting to eat her head. We do not point and stare in a bad way at Joan. There’s no reason why we should be pointing and staring in a bad way at Christina. It’s not us, it’s her.

  35. BB_Brune

    What e said!
    V-necks at this stage will serve no purpose, you need a wide and straight neckline (can you say that? something straight, like a strapless, but not in fact strap less) and you should never EVER wear a turtle neck (ACK!)
    Such a beautiful woman… I guess she doesn’t really care anymore.
    I remember her from her days in Firely when she was less buxom but still a knockout.

  36. Jane

    Christina Hendricks does NOT need to learn what to do with my boobs and you have no idea whether I own one or not.

  37. Jane

    …er, by “own one” I meant you have no idea whether I own a V-neck or not.

  38. anonymoose

    BLARGGH. so so wrong. so done looking at that smirk. and yes, the ankle cocking must stop.

  39. TonyG

    The photo here is a little over-exposed, which doesn’t help.

    She doesn’t look as frumpy in these photos, and you get a better sense of what she might have been going for (make the hips bigger with white to minimize the top): http://www.looktothestars.org/news/6943-jennifer-hudson-and-christina-hendricks-honored-at-women-doing-good-awards

    I think she was actually trying not to emphasize the boobs with black. Depending on the angle, her girls are just going to look not at all wrangled. I am kind of empathetic, because when she fails, it’s going to be soooo noticed.

  40. Snebur

    This look is not great, but could be saved by a looser turtle neck and untucking the top. Remember that elongating one area of the body is instant de-frumping.
    Although, high-waisted pants would not work on her.

  41. fritanga

    She’s so gorgeous, but she insists on doing stuff like this: wearing awful high-necked blouses with hideous white skirts which make her look dumpy, not to mention shoes which accentuate HER BUNIONS and really messy hair. Can’t she just chain the costumer from MM to her bedpost and force him/her to make her look fabulous at all times?

  42. Emma

    I saw her on E! wearing this outfit, and she made a little joke about how she was all covered up that night. I really like her, she doesn’t take herself too seriously. People here moaning that she’s paid to look good need to get a grip.

  43. celia

    I don’t understand what is going on with this woman. Is she TRYING to look awful? It looks like she actually powdered her face . How can someone working with her natural beauty end up looking like that? Seriously.

  44. Bilbo

    reverse the black and the white and this would be totally fab. Her hips are wide and her legs are stumpy, in no way is that white skirt helping her. The black top looks hot and overwhelms her pale skin and delicate features. I love her though, so I’m kind of annoyed that she doesn’t get sufficient help from the fashion world. It should be possible for her to look decent and well dressed without a mad men style corset and that one style of dress.

  45. Christian

    I’ll throw it out there, since no one else has – maybe she’s a huge bitch to work with, and her stylist/makeup artists despise her, hence they advise/design her to look like crap outside of the show. I like her, don’t get me wrong, but that could be a tentative answer to all the “why can’t she get a stylist?” comments.

  46. Aretha

    E, you are absolutely correct. You people seem to have no idea how difficult it is to dress a bust that size. She repeatedly says that designers don’t really lend her clothes ( Unlike her co-star, January Jones), and it is VERY difficult to find tops for such a bust, even more so more dressy, less casual tops.
    As for the people who say she should dress the way she is on the show. Maybe she doesn’t want to be remembered as that girl who looks great in early 1960′s clothes?

  47. Jessica

    I am quite certain many of the people posting here DO possess a bust of a similar size.

    Interesting, I heard from a good source recently that she IS difficult, so it’s possible that IS part of the problem, Christian. Which is unfortunate — but my feeling is, there’s a reason you are nice to the people whose job it is to make you look good (in addition to the fact that you should be nice to everyone you work with).

  48. Sensible Sea Monster

    This outfit makes me choke every time I look at it. I’ve seen multiple views of it and it is just straight-up 360 degrees of FUG. Plus that handbag–or whatever it is–makes her look like she is playing Formal Touch Football.

  49. Nerml

    I saw video of her, and it moved beautifully. She looked like a very elegant, well built, … vampire?

  50. jean

    But I AM looking at her very pretty face now, so there’s that. She does look about twenty pounds heavier than she needs to in this get-up, so not cool.

  51. Terry

    She is fat and ugly.

  52. Emma

    Christina Hendricks is the most fantabulously beautificul person on the planet. So much so that I’m not even jealous, I just think she’s stunning. But she can. Not. Dress.