Every so often, our former champ rears her head around town.

For a long time I thought she was going to be the Katie Price of the U.S. I mean, this girl used to dye her dog to match her outfits. But now she’s back to Basic Tacky, and I’m almost disappointed, because at least shooting for full Katie Price would give her a point of view beyond Paris Hilton At A Deep, Deep Discount. Case in point:

Say what you will about Katie, and we have, there is nothing half-assed about this. She is Whole-Hog Bananas. The largest nutball in the can. Six pancakes short of a stack — which, since a stack is usually only four, puts her below empty. And yet half-hearted she is not, which is why I still get the most righteous giggle out of her shenanigans. Dream casting: Jennifer Coolidge playing Katie Price in a movie that imagines what she’ll be like 15 years from now.

[Photos: Getty]