Fug Madness Round Two, Charo Bracket Part I


(1) RIHANNA v. (8) STELLA MCCARTNEY

In which someone who wears Stella goes up AGAINST Stella, and  — for the first time EVER! — we have two opponents wearing THE SAME OUTFIT:

Neither of them seem that stoked about it, though.

In fairness, Stella rarely looks happy to be wherever she is at any given moment. Here, obviously, she is probably sincerely regretting wearing a formal burrito of her own design:

Whereas here Rihanna is probably wondering if leather turbans and leather gauchos REALLY needed to be introduced to her wardrobe.

(The answer is no.)

Both woman also never met a mechanic’s jumpsuit she didn’t decide to wear out of the garage:

At least Rihanna didn’t wear hers to hang out with Anna Wintour. I am aware that’s truly damning with faint praise:

Dear Stella: LEARN TO HEM THINGS:

Dear RiRi: LEARN TO WEAR SHIRTS:

PS: She owns that bra top in pink, too. She bought TWO OF THEM.  You know what else she bought? Boots that make her look like snakes are eating her legs, pajamas that I believe are also the hand of Stella McCartney, and a pink lace negligee that she wore to the Victoria’s Secret fashion show which would have been totally thematic except she covered it up randomly with a sweatshirt around her waist.

Finally, is it wrong if I admit that I kind of wish THIS had been the ensemble that both Rihanna and Stella had worn? I just think Stella could use some mesh biker shorts in her life. Maybe they would make her smile:

As ever, don’t forget to check out the Archives: Rihanna, Stella McCartney

(5) ELLE FANNING v. (13) DEMI LOVATO

In which the teen star takes on the former teen star. I must admit that, regardless of their occasionally misguided ensembles, I want both of these girls to prosper.

In fact, I hope that Elle lives to be 100, which is about when this outfit would be appropriate (maybe even a little saucy):

We took a closer look at those shoes — and the ones to follow — in the first round, where Elle defeated Emma Stone, so let’s take a step back to get a grasp on the whole picture. Sadly, Elle’s dress rarely improved matters:

I do not even know what the deal is there. The shoes are obviously the worst thing that ever happened, but the dress (or is that separates?) isn’t so hot either. At the very best, the whole thing is just PERPLEXING.

Speaking of perplexing, this is not wholly terrible, but the headband is beyond. You can’t wear a floppy monastical neck bow AND a whimsical floral headband at the same time. It confuses your brand messaging:

Moving right along, not everyone disliked this, but I was not a fan:

It feels too….Musty Valentino for me to be able to deal. Nor could I deal with this. Or this! SO much not dealing from me.

In the other corner, Demi Lovato — whose wacky hair alone, I think, propelled her over Julianne Hough in round one. And her hair HAS seen many an entertaining incarnation this year. Here, it matches the floral pattern on her frock:

Here, it coordinates with the wash on her denim jacket:

Here, it makes me want to sneak up behind her and PULL ON IT, like the Dowager Countess furiously signaling to the servants downstairs that she wants TEA AND SHE WANTS IT NOW:

I wonder what DOES happen if you yank on that ponytail. Does Britney pop up to make and face and tell someone they can’t really sing? Because that seems like a very valuable feature. Make sure you take a look at what else she wore to host the Teen Choice awards (with Kevin McHale, who went out in the first round) and this crazy thing she did to her extensions. How far can one girl’s hair take her?

Archives: Elle Fanning, Demi Lovato

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Comments (57):

  1. bex
    0

    I really want Stella to beat Rihanna. Rihanna I think has a style to her- which is young, debaucherous (definitely not a word) pop star and she takes interesting style choices. That navy striped suit featured in the last round is one of my favorite looks, I just think it’s so bold and fun. Stella, however, is a butt. She has no style. It’s SACKS. JUST SACKS. TACKY SACKS. SHE DOESN’T EVEN TRY ANYTHING NEW. IT’S JUST THE SAME TACKY SATIN SACKS ALL THE TIME WHY IS SHE SUCCESSFUL. She doesn’t even try and it makes me STABBY. Stella for the WIN

    • laura
      0

      I want her to win too, I mean surely the fact that she is the one that designed those horrible outfits and charges INSANE amounts of money for them has to out weight whatever crap Rihahana wears!

      • CranAppleSnapple
        0

        You’re right, girls. Thank you, you helped my head stop from spinning off at the neck.

      • Corrine Engelgau
        0

        So true. How can you intentionally make clothes FOR YOURSELF that are so FUG?

    • Kate L.
      0

      This comment made me LOL, which is an acronym I HATE. “Stella, however, is a butt.” INDEED.

    • Squirrel!
      0

      And bex’s comment is where I miss the short-lived “Like” option. :-)

    • me
      0

      Ha ha well said she’s indeed a butt!

      • Claire
        0

        Seconded. (Thirded? Fourthed?) Stella should totally be owning this round.

  2. jen310
    0

    Elle is so joyful and so youthful with her fug. She’s experimenting and having fun. I can’t hate on that or vote for it. Demi just looks fug with her clothes and hair while she thinks she looks stylish and edgy. NO. Demi has the fug advantage here.

    Stella, hell naw is her fug good. RiRi actually looks half-way decent in Stella’s fug designs when compared to Stella. I had to vote for Stella because she designs what she wears and none of it is good. NONE. If you can’t rock you own damn designs, which are high fug to begin with, how can others take you seriously as a designer. RiRi’s edgy fug works for her. Not for me, but for her. Stella’s not only doesn’t work for her it works for no one. Stella FTW

  3. Mara
    0

    How is Elle not winning this by a landslide?!

  4. Edith
    0

    I’m with bex on this one. Stella really is all about wearing sacks – sacks of her own design! – and her clothes always make the statement “I give up.” Given that she designs clothing FOR A LIVING, you’d think she could make herself something that looks as if she cares, even a tiny bit, about how she presents herself. The fact that she doesn’t get her pants hemmed just drives me batty – she is a designer. She (theoretically) can sew. She (certainly) knows lots and lots of people who sew her clothes all the damn time, couldn’t she have one them take those up?!?!?

    Whereas Rihanna … well, some of her stuff is actually kind of cool, and some of it is gorgeous. And some of it is bandeau bra tops worn as outerwear. So – I didn’t vote for her, but I get why people did.

    I actually like a lot of what Elle Fanning wears, other than the dress of complete horror and shoes of doom ensemble. Oh, and you said, “You can’t wear a floppy monastical neck bow AND a whimsical floral headband at the same time. “ Well, you CAN, but when you get back home to the convent they’ll all be singing about what an oddball you are, and next thing you know you’ll be sent out to see if governessing isn’t a better fit for you…

  5. Alma
    0

    I think Rihanna looks GOOD in most of those outfits (except for the lace bras….what the f is that about??), but Stella just looks sloppy.

    Elle’s shoes alone should get her to the top 5 at LEAST

    • Julie
      0

      Agreed about the shoes – they are so unspeakably awful, I can’t even take in what the rest of what she’s wearing looks like.

  6. Brenna
    0

    Oh dear, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I actually think Stella’s totally pulling off the first jumpsuit. It needs some hemming, but I think it looks slouchy cool on her.

    • Anne B
      0

      Oh, but that’s a symptom. You think, “Hey, that one jumpsuit didn’t look terrible on Stella,” and next thing you know, you too are skulking around all dead-eyes, wearing a series of ugly sacks.

      You’ll be fine. Just push the fluids, and try not to look at photos of SMC for at least 24 hours. – Doctor Anne B

  7. Rayna
    0

    I’m so conflicted. Stella is deffo fugLY, but Riri is fugly AND nekkid.

  8. Valerie
    0

    I actually kind of love that jean jacket on Demi. Maybe the Fug Madness is getting to me.

  9. Damian
    0

    I honestly am not prepared to vote for Elle or Demi as I didn’t call either of them. I went with Demi but in my heart, this is January Jones’ spot.

    I also believe Stella to be more fugly, but Rihanna is always pretty unstoppable in this thing.

    • Sajorina
      0

      I agree, it should’ve been Elle vs January!

      • Heather
        0

        It was Elle vs January! Elle beat her.

        • Sajorina
          0

          Really? Sorry, last week of my 3rd trimester in Grad School! I just think January and Julianne are so much FUGLIER than Elle and Demi!

    • Lucille Austero
      0

      Yes, how did January Jones not get to Round Two? I wasn’t able to vote. I hope she lost by more than one vote, because I don’t think I could live with the guilt.

  10. Sajorina
    0

    Ok, so I voted for Rihanna just for existing and for Elle because her shoes are worse than Demi’s hair!

    • SKS
      0

      I think the opposite — Hair is what you have, and shoes are what you put on and therefore (more) temporary. :D This is the closest one I’ve seen after I voted :P

  11. Jo
    0

    Oh come on guys, how come Rihanna is winning? I get her fug, and it’s fugly as hell sometimes, but Stella CREATES fug for a living…

  12. LoriK
    0

    Stella should be winning this going away. She’s the clear winner of the “Who Fugged It More?” and, as others have mentioned, she has no style. With her it’s all bags and frowns. Rhianna, much as I am not a fan, has a style and she’s working it with purpose.

  13. Sylvia
    0

    I feel RiRi’s fug is more purposeful than Stella’s. Plus, I KNOW I’m not suppose to acknowledge what she does to other people, but I can’t separate myself from the facts. Plus, while I feel RiRi has horrible taste in males (I refuse to call him a man) I think she’s likable. Stella has no redeeming qualities AND her clothes are offensive.

    I really couldn’t choose between Elle and Demi. I’d say shoes are a choice ultimately, but Demi chooses to do that to her hair, so that was negated. I closed my eyes and clicked Demi, I think.

  14. Eliza Bennett
    0

    STELLA SHOULD BE WINNING. Scroll back through and just compare all the jumpsuits in her and RiRi’s archives. Stella’s NEVER FIT AND SHE MADE THEM. Rihanna looks cray but at least it usually fits or hangs as though the slouch is deliberate. ….I can’t believe I just wrote that. If anybody needs me I’ll be in the corner clutching my pearls and weeping for the nation.

  15. Erin
    0

    I agree with Jo and others above! Rhianna is a musician, and by default they are often inexplicable (Liberace anyone?)…but STELLA GETS PAID TO DESIGN CLOTHES! NO, JUST NO! People need to start voting in CONTEXT here!

    Also, Elle, I am sorry to see someone so young, and someone that I like so much doing so damn well looking BAD! JUST NO! Again, Demi is a musician/entertainer and her clothes are less shocking for her profession, but Elle :( COME ON DARLING!

    • bex
      0

      Segue time- I REALLY want you guys to Fug the Fromage on the upcoming Liberace movie!!

      • Heather
        0

        I object that we should accept being gross from musicians just because they’re musicians. Rihanna takes it to a whole new, fugly level. We should demand better!

  16. A.J.
    0

    Demi gets it for me because she’s old enough to know better. Elle is still a kid, and I don’t want you ladies to go back in time and see the FUG I wore as a kid. So, she gets a pass.

  17. Helen
    0

    STEELLLLAAAAAAAAA! Although it looks so far like Rihanna is taking that one, and I can live with it because we’ll get to see more of her crazy outfits later. Whereas, Stella’s, I’d just as soon not see more of, even though she certainly deserves to move on.

    I also went Elle, not because of the dentist’s-model shoes, but the outfit with them. I do not actually think it’s a hideous outfit, I just think it’s incredibly inappropriate for such a young girl. That belongs on a sexy 40-year-old. Remember the back! Or rather, the lack of one. I would never have let her out of the house in that if I were one of her parents.

  18. pantsonfire
    0

    See, here’s the thing. I’m not basing my vote just on the photos up there. We’re supposed to consider their whole portfolio of fug. And I cannot forget Rihanna’s transparent bandeau top that was not only extremely inappropriate for a day out shopping in Manhattan, but was also super unflattering to her boobs. (Is a bandeau top EVER flattering to boobs? It just makes them into oblong torpedoes.) Thus, again, my vote is largely colored by not only how bad were the fashion decisions, but how unflattering were they? How much do I feel like they pulled our culture down into the dregs? Also, I have no shame in factoring in my overall feelings about a celebrity. And let’s just say that I don’t have good feelings about Rihanna.

    Even though Elle fugged it more, I voted for Demi because of the age factor.

  19. TonyG
    0

    Rihanna and Elle for me.

    Rihanna just chose some ridiculously unflattering outfits. Stella is boring and badly tailored, but her fug is nothing to write home about.

    Elle, oh Elle, wherefore art though, Elle? She’s not herself this year. Demi looked pretty good even in some of her more out-there ensembles.

  20. CBD
    0

    Elle. Elle. Elle. Who in the WORLD is coloring this poor child’s hair?! Have we EVER seen a picture of her without at least an inch of dark brown roots? And what color is that anyway? Not all blonde is beautiful. Some of it just looks like urine. Who left out the toner? Who decided “yellow” was a haircolor? How can a brilliant beautiful little actress have such cheap, brassy, stringy, bathtub bleached hair?!

  21. Sandra
    0

    Stella not only designs (very bad) clothes for a living, she has extensive formal education in fashion design from one of the top programs in the world. She should have flunked out, obviously, but they granted her a degree. In both design and execution, the stuff she wears is awful. It’s not the styling, though she never does much for herself in that regard either, and it’s not just that the clothes don’t work on her. They are simply unworkable. Having a personal style that doesn’t appeal to me is not necessarily fug, but going around in stuff that freegans would reject if they dug it out of the dumpster behind the thrift shop is fug to the tenth power.

  22. agcons
    0

    Stella cannot cut or drape worth a damn, even on herself She probably uses the same 50-litre trash pail as a dress form for everything she makes. On the other hand, Rihanna’s beauty helps carry off some of her questionable outfits. Stella for the win.

    Fanning vs. Lovato was a draw, mostly. Lovato’s battery-operated final outfit, above, was the winner.

  23. Art Eclectic
    0

    Earlier I could not imagine who I would Fug over Stella, but there Rihanna was…. I suppose not having to look at more of Stella’s handiwork when she gets mowed down by Rihanna’s speeding train of bad taste is kind of a blessing.

  24. Shanti
    0

    Fug ladies, I want to thank you for “formal burrito.” Every year something comes out of Fug Madness that just makes me laugh over and over again no matter how many times I see or read it. Last year it was that picture of Cee Loo and the M&M. This year it is “formal burrito.”

  25. Chris P
    0

    Actually, it’s not the first time we had two opponents wearing the same thing in Fug Madness.

    Ladies and gents, 2009 Round 1 Charo Bracket, Agyness Deyn (3) vs. M.I.A. (14):

    http://gofugyourself.com/2009_charo_round1_continued-03-2009

    To this day, this was the most epic first-round matchup in Fug Madness history, and it’s possibly the most epic matchup period.

    Okay, back to 2013 – this is hard.

    I am tempted to give this to Rihanna for accessorizing many of those outfits with a bit of Breezy. On the other hand, 1) it’s about the clothes, not her life choices, and 2) honestly, the main reason I keep making fun of the Chris Brown thing is because if I don’t, I’ll start crying. (Okay, not really, but it does depress me.)

    On the other hand, Stella is by FAR the bigger fugger (sorry Fug Girls, but she inflicted that fug on half of Hollywood – I don’t care about agency, she’s a designer and she KNEW she was dressing people), but due to the rules of Fug Madness, I can only consider what she herself wore. In that case, Rihanna might be slightly fuglier, but…

    …actually, no. It’s Rihanna. She’s definitely the Gonzaga of Fug Madness (the Fugzaga?). I had Riri in my bracket, but I’m voting for Stella – mostly on the strength of the first outfit (when you wear YOUR OWN DESIGN worse than someone else, that’s fug).

  26. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    I really thought Stella would win this but for me, Rihanna wins because her fug is worse fitting than Stella’s.

  27. Hannah
    0

    I voted for Rihanna because to me fug implies some measure (however small) of sincerity about your fashion choices, and the way Stella smirks, it always seems like she’s saying, “Yeah, I know, I look like a janitor, and I can get people to pay $4000 for this outfit. SUCK IT.” I’d rather look at Rihanna no matter what she’s wearing.

  28. Edith
    0

    Touche.

  29. Chris P
    0

    To be fair, that was an…unforgettable outfit. Especially when used as maternity wear.

  30. ChocoChipDstryr
    0

    While I don’t like all of her outfits, I do like the fact that it looks like Elle, and not a stylist, chose her shoes/accessories. It seems like something a real kid would wear.