As a refresher: The photos and links in each matchup post are NOT the only outfits eligible; rather, they’re a representative sample of the body of work. Polls close after 24 hours, so if you like to research your choices — on our site, Getty Images, Google, whatever — have at it and just make sure you vote before the game ends. If you need a primer on how all this works, peruse the FAQ; if you forgot your bracket, click here. And, most importantly, have fun!

Jump to: 3. LINDSAY LOHAN vs. 14. LORELEI LINKLATER · 6. CHRISSY TEIGEN vs. 11. KATIE HOLMES · 7. CIARA vs. 10. JENNIFER ANISTON
 

2. KAT GRAHAM vs. 15. NOOMI RAPACE

I want to go to drinks with these two. I’m not sure if they would get along, but it would FOR SURE be interesting. They both certainly have a powerful and intriguing aesthetic.

This, for example, is bold and also perfect if later you’re going to break into some kind of choreographed dance:

This is great if you…have a need to…have…I don’t even know:

Because I just spent twenty minutes staring at it, trying to figure out what the point even is of any of it. Those aren’t garters. They’re….thigh…chokers? I don’t know. I can’t. I’m old.

This is, at least, straightforward. It is a rubber (?) bra with drop-crotch pants and an actually very cute jacket:

Kat Graham is also one of those people where I feel like I consistently point out that her FACE almost always looks glorious. The wonderfulness of her head nearly carries off the horribleness of her wardrobe, more often than not.  This, for example, is AWFUL:

But her lipstick is great and it draws me in and then I’m like, “but maybe?” NO MAYBE.

NO FACE IN THE WORLD could save this. Not hers, probably not Helen of Troy’s and hers launched a thousand ships. This ensemble could not launch a row boat:

IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN STEAMED. Kat Graham, get some Downy Wrinkle Release for your glove compartment!

Obviously, Kat Graham has an entry in the Sheer Sweepstakes:

And also this year’s Sternum Collection:

This was ALSO very sternum-tastic (and barely even actually clothing).

The thing is, her archives boast SO MUCH MORE STUFF. For example, she wore what I think was a neoprene (?) jumpsuit (?), and what I know was a mullet t-shirt. There was a top with delusions of poncho-dom, and this salute to Dynasty. Kat Graham is the gift that keeps on giving.

But Noomi has given us a lot, too. Remember when she got rid of her eyebrows?

She seems so SEVERE without them. It’s hard not to look lively in this sparkly chevron number…and yet:

This is a…whole lot of look, as the Esteemed Tim Gunn would say:

And somewhere on some mystical planet, Steven Tyler is wondering where he can get one of these for himself:

While Prince is VERY covetous of this:

We can’t argue that Noomi bought AS much to the table as Kat did — that’s pretty much the extent of her work this year — but you have to admit that the QUALITY was PRIMO. I do not know that Fur Lips as a breastplate have ever been deployed in Fug Madness until this very day, in fact.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Kat Graham (63%, 3,507 Votes)
  • Noomi Rapace (37%, 2,080 Votes)

Total Voters: 5,681

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3. LINDSAY LOHAN vs. 14. LORELEI LINKLATER

The battle of the LLs! In which, no matter what happens, Lorelei can rest assured that everything in her life is probably going more smoothly than Lindsay’s, as she has not had Oprah tell her to get a grip on TV yet.

It will not surprise you to hear that no grip has been gotten:

I decided she is clutching that rose because she’s decided she wants to be the new Bachelorette and, let’s get real: I would WATCH that, so get on in, ABC.

This, on the other hand, seems to be a ploy to get on Dancing With The Stars:

Which I also can’t believe hasn’t happened yet, now that I think about it.

At least she’s wearing cute shoes here?

That’s got to count for something.

In case you forgot, this was also the year that Balmain founds itself adorning some of Hollywood’s least fashionable people, something they’re probably discussing in a meeting RIGHT NOW:

IN FAIRNESS, I believe the below was from some kind of fancy dress party, BUT STILL:

Never before have I felt WORDS more perfectly than I do right now, looking at this:

YOU may feel peaceful, Lindsay, but I do not. Especially not when I look at this offering:

Lindsay has spent A LOT of time in London this year, and I would sort of just like to apologize to the UK on behalf of the United States if she’s done anything that requires apologies. We know. Shall we try to set her up with that dude on I Want to Marry “Harry”? and just see what happens?

This at least appears that it might be comfortable?

Unless you trip over the hem of the pants and faceplant, but that’s a challenge for some of us every time we leave the house.

It’s a mark of Lilo’s year that I saw this and was like, “eh, not too bad!!!”

Take a moment and twirl through her archives like Maria atop a Hill That Is Alive. Don’t forget to eyeball this HORRIBLE NIGHTGOWN OUTFIT, or this flammable-looking thing, or this wacky thing she wore on Watch What Happens Live! or…well, I could go on.

Our other LL doesn’t have quite the same depth of crazy, but she’s brought a good start in her rookie year, and we’re proud of her.

I actually think Lohan would wear that, and I AM SORRY I just said that, Lorelei. We probably WISH Lohan would wear this though, even with the pink hair:

This would work for Lindsay if she gets into a Goth Teen period (IE once she starts really regressing):

Lindsay would never wear these clophoppers, though. Just think about that Lorelei. Just think about it.

Let’s put our hands together and vote:

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Lindsay Lohan (94%, 5,178 Votes)
  • Lorelei Linklater (6%, 341 Votes)

Total Voters: 5,519

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6. CHRISSY TEIGEN vs. 11. KATIE HOLMES

Well, if I had to choose which of these two women I’d like to hang out with, Chrissy totally TOTALLY wins. She at least always seems like a fun time, even if I’m not wild about her outfit. On the other hand, maybe you could get Katie Holmes drunk and make her call Josh Jackson, so….okay, I’ll have to think about that a bit more closely.

Other things to meditate upon: What IS this exactly?

OR THIS? (I feel like even Chrissy herself is looking at this and thinking, “ugh, you guys, I know. I was just trying something, okay?!”

I decided THIS was a salute to the car wash. Or perhaps to the song “Car Wash.”

People are trying to bring culottes back and I am not ready. If Chrissy Teigen looks wacky in them, what hope have the rest of us?

And that’s just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. You should take a look at this Skirt That’s Barely a Skirt, or this Kinda Snooze-y Jumpsuit, or this VERY wee cocktail dress (although at least it’s appropriate for the event), or WOW THAT’S A LOT OF SIDEBOOB, CHRISSY!

On to our friend Joey Potter, whose giant sleeve may one day eat us all:

I just noticed that the shoes she wore with Sleeve would actually look great with this otherwise underwhelming Zac Posen:

This was hilarious but not terrible but maybe a LITTLE bit terrible but regardless, seemed like something that you’d want to take into consideration before you voted:

And this was just zero fun at all (though the lipstick is good stuff):

But the real reason we’re talking about Katie Holmes this year is right here and YOU GUYS IT’S REALLY BAD:

Casting for Beauty and the Beast: Psycho Killers is NEXT year, babe. (Her archives are here.)

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Chrissy Teigen (67%, 3,647 Votes)
  • Katie Holmes (33%, 1,783 Votes)

Total Voters: 5,430

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7. CIARA vs. 10. JENNIFER ANISTON

AND FINALLY. A battle of two people who have very possibly NEVER EVEN SPOKEN TO EACH OTHER.

Ciara wore a bikini top over her snakeskin dress this past year:

She wore another kind of bikini top with her suit:

File this one under WHEN LOOFAHS ATTACK!

And this one under KNEEPADS, UNNECESSARY?

I kind of appreciate her devotion to the graphical nature of black and white throughout this outfit:

And of course, this wouldn’t be a valid Fug Madness entry if she didn’t wear something sheer:

Her archives bring you much goodness (well, “goodness”) — as ever, this is just a sampling. Don’t forget to look at this dress, which is like Cut-Outs Ahoy (she is almost making it work, in fairness; she really is gorgeous).

And then we have the High Priestess of Boring, Jennifer Aniston, who at least seems HAPPY this year:

ZZZzzzz.

?????

…..

!!!!!!

??!?!?!?!!!?!?!

[INTEROBANG]

[sigh]

APPLAUSE!

[Her archives are here. They’re exactly what you expect. CONSIDER THE SOURCE]

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Ciara (84%, 4,493 Votes)
  • Jennifer Aniston (16%, 881 Votes)

Total Voters: 5,374

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