As a refresher: Half of each of the four brackets plays today, and the rest of Round one tips off tomorrow (Friday), so to speak. The photos and links in each matchup post are NOT the only outfits eligible; rather, they’re a representative sample of the body of work. Polls close after 24 hours, so if you like to research your choices — on our site, Getty Images, Google, whatever — have at it and just make sure you vote before the game ends. If you need a primer on how all this works, peruse the FAQ; if you forgot your bracket, click here. And, most importantly, have fun!

Jump to: No. 2 Miley Cyrus vs No. 15 Jared Leto · No. 3 Charli XCX vs. No. 14 Selena Gomez · No. 7 Katy Perry vs. No. 10 Julianne Moore
 

6. ZENDAYA vs. 11. MELISSA GEORGE

If you’d wanted to start slow, well… not happening. Or hattening, as the case may be:

One of my favorite parts of Fug Madness is rediscovering all the stuff that got bleached out of my brain during the course of the year, and this was tops among them. The noise I made was something approaching a shriek. I half expect her to raise a trap door on that thing and reveal Rick Moranis’s face in there.

So, that’s one extreme of Zendaya. Here the other:

Given that she wore this to the AMAs, the disco-ness of it is at least somewhat on theme, and she’s carrying it off with as much panache as any teenager could. Having said that: It’s still gold-dipped BANANAS.

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I am so glad that Zendaya appears to have put away the bandeau tops in 2015. Her interest in experimenting is great, and laudable, and she has enough personal charisma to sell almost anything. But boob spandex is one road she doesn’t need to traverse, and hopefully she won’t again.

I guess “at least her chest is covered” is the one piece of connective tissue between her and Melissa George.

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And “tissue,” incidentally, is the word I might use to describe that “shirt.”

Then, of course, there are the times Melissa is actively trying to uncover her chest:

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And then the times she full-on only PRETENDS to cover it in the first place:

So, yes, Zendaya might wear giant striped duvet covers…

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… and a pretty fabric twisted into submission around an ugly framework…

… and a jean-shorts ensemble that is meant to look effortless but which is OOZING with Try, and a very studied second attempt at Hattitude, followed by an equally distracting third one, and a hideous white smock shirt. She leaves the house a lot, tries everything, but MIGHT be veering into 18-going-on-28. Her fug is a sampler platter.

Whereas Melissa George just keeps on serving that same old recipe, and no one has gotten through to her that it doesn’t taste great.

Do you need an archive tour? Here is Zendaya’s, and Melissa’s.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Zendaya (33%, 2,156 Votes)
  • Melissa George (67%, 4,359 Votes)

Total Voters: 6,515

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2. MILEY CYRUS vs. 15. JARED LETO

We all thought Miley was making improvements in 2015, given that she wore an outfit to an Oscar party that employed actual fabric over a lot of her body (even if it wasn’t altogether that cute). But then we have to consider what ELSE she wore that weekend:

So apparently she used up her ENTIRE allotment of fabric in that one ensemble. I would suggest that whomever introduced her to Tom Ford needs to be grounded for a year, but it’s not as though her fuggery began with him. He merely enhances it:

She is basically wearing a five-point harness as a shirt. She is dressed as a child’s car seat.

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It says a lot about her taste that an inflatable leather pelvis and leather tube top come off as uninspired and a lack of real effort. When in fact it’s just as hideous. NEVER FORGET.

Rita Ora’s archive this year includes a similar ensemble in black, but without the ruby slippers and Alice in Wonderland acid-trip eyeglasses and ruby slippers. The two of them could THEORETICALLY meet up in the Final Four. WE’LL SEE.

Miley also has hideous taste in accessories, and in a double whammy, designed many of them herself. Like this:

Whereas Jared Leto’s primary accessory is ombre hair — except for this one time he wore a Fanny Pack:

Jared Leto Steps Out In NYC

Although, I’ll be honest, I find that more charming than fugly. But I did not particularly appreciate his Oscars suit:

He looks like Unfrozen Caveman Prom Date.

This, frankly, is just sloppy rather than stylish.

And this is a skirt. Not to be gendered about it; you do you, Leto. But if I’m not being gendered about the skirt then I’m ALSO not going to withhold the same criticism I would give a lady in this outfit, which is: Skirts over pants = overkill. PICK ONE. And also your upper half looks very much like what some of Ferris Bueller’s female classmates wore.

Then again:

Archives: Miley, Jared

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Miley Cyrus (90%, 5,792 Votes)
  • Jared Leto (10%, 646 Votes)

Total Voters: 6,438

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3. CHARLI XCX vs. 14. SELENA GOMEZ

See-through stretchy white floral thing?

Check, and check:

Unattractive animal-print outfit more befitting a Bravo show?

Check, and check:

Leggy confusion, with unfortunate draping? Check:

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And, yes, check:

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Barely there? Check:

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Semi-check:

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Inexplicable and horrifying Big Finish? Check:

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DOUBLE CHECK:

 

More where that came from: Charli XCX and Selena Gomez

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Charli XCX (95%, 6,087 Votes)
  • Selena Gomez (5%, 327 Votes)

Total Voters: 6,414

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7. KATY PERRY vs. 10. JULIANNE MOORE

Disallowing performance-wear has, this year, had the most impact on Katy Perry (runners-up being Jessie J and Ariana Grande, who didn’t even make the cut without it). But don’t worry. She still brought the fug, by — in the vein of SO MANY OTHERS before her — deploying her thighs.

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SOMEBODY forgot to restock the crafting closet. And speaking of looking semi-homemade:

Is it a law of the fugiverse that excellent lipstick must always be deployed with an outfit that minces your feelings?

Katy also wore pepperoni pizza, as one does, and a crazy-cheap-looking pink dress bedecked with a scarlet fur stole. This looks like she went on a binge photocopying pictures of antique jewelry, and her Grammys Zuhair Murad looks like the product of a very expensive runny nose:

And if I were to suggest it is cracked out, I would be speaking woefully literally.

Julianne’s version, sans rump equator, might be this Chanel:

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Few dresses are as distressed to be in motion as this one. It’s like wind blowing off a man’s toupee.

J.Mo is also not afraid of netting:

Nor sparkles post-shredding:

Nor custom Chanel that needed better vetting.

I think I just wrote a poem. It’s called Ode to Thank God You Looked Fab at the Globes and the SAGs Or Else You’d Be Seeded Way Higher. I guess when you agree to let the Kaiser design for your big night, you’re stuck with whatever he comes up with, but on the other hand… given his history, is that a risk you should EVER want to take? She also got up to some mono-sleeved shenanigans, picked a BAFTAs Tom Ford that didn’t fit and then another on Oscars weekend that was super Teen Choice Awards for an actress who’s playing a midlife Alzheimer’s sufferer, and oh, god, I nearly forgot this:

KATY. You have your work more cut out for you than I realized.

And also your skirt is cut out for you. I suppose one never knows when a sumo wrestling match will break out, eh?

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Katy Perry (71%, 4,446 Votes)
  • Julianne Moore (29%, 1,852 Votes)

Total Voters: 6,392

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