Fug Madness 2013: Sweet Sixteen Preview


Because of dumb technical issues yesterday (which are now FIXED), we’re letting the matchups run for a couple extra hours today, just in case you didn’t get a chance to vote. So consider this less of a results post, and more of a LIKELIHOOD of which people will end up in Thursday’s and Friday’s Sweet Sixteen matchups. A new printable, filled-out bracket will be available Thursday morning before the matchups start again.

And now:

 

 

(1) RITA ORA vs. (4) JESSIE J – Thursday

The Queen is dead: Outgoing champ Vanessa Hudgens fell hugely to Rita Ora, who got 72 percent of the vote. And J.Lo said ADIOS LOVERS because she only managed 32 percent of the vote against Jessie J. Write it in ink, folks.

(6) CHLOE SEVIGNY vs. (10) ZOSIA MAMET – Friday

It is actively uncool how excited I am by the prospect of this fight. Cheerful Kat Graham’s fug couldn’t withstand the Zosia onslaught, and she won by 20 percent — the same margin by which Sevigny dispensed with another hot favorite of our hot messes: Anne Hathaway. Now maybe we can finally get the break from her that I think we all, Anne included, REALLY need. The results are unlikely to change, but vote if you need.

 

(6) LINDSAY LOHAN vs. (2) KATY PERRY or (10) LENA DUNHAM – Thursday

Lena is beating Katy Perry, but only with 53 percent of the vote, so one never knows. LiLo, though, chewed up Nicki Minaj and spit her out like she was a lowly sixteen-seed and not a No. 3. Lohan got votes from 67 percent of and will move comfortably into Thursday’s matchup.

(1) JUSTIN BIEBER vs. (4) LADY GAGA – Friday

This feels magical, doesn’t it? And it’s all but a done deal — Bieber wiped the floor with Julianne Moore (only 4 or 5 percent of you thought she deserved votes), and Lady Gaga is two-thirds up on Miley Cyrus. So this is happening, Fug Nation. THIS IS REAL. Bieber is a hot favorite to win, but he has a tough road — assuming he can get through the Bjork Bracket, he’ll have to get by whichever contender comes out of Charo, which could be any of these people…

 

 

(1) RIHANNA vs. (5) ELLE FANNING or (13) DEMI LOVATO – Thursday

Stella McCartney is putting up a fight, but with not quite 40 percent of the vote, so far it’s not enough to block Rihanna from the Sweet Sixteen. Elle Fanning is clinging to her 53-percent majority over Demi, though, so that worm could still turn, so to speak. Vote here.

(2) HEIDI KLUM vs. (3) JESSICA BIEL or (6) CHRISTINA HENDRICKS – Friday

Heidi is a slam-dunk — she is TRAMPLING Diane Kruger; only 5 percent of you voted for DK. But Biel vs Hendricks is one of our tighter contests. Right now Hendricks has a 53-percent haul of votes, but Biel has been inching up on her all day. Click to have a say in the outcome.

 

 

(2) KIM KARDASHIAN vs. (3) CARLY RAE JEPSEN – Thursday

You Emma Roberts believers can try, but Kim Kardashian has 84 percent of the vote right now and looks to be a lock for her first Sweet 16. But Carly Rae Jepsen is not a sure thing; she has 56 percent of the vote right now over Halle Berry, but anything is possible until the polls close. Click here to vote.

(1) KRISTEN STEWART vs. (4) KE$HA – Friday

Kristen is currently up on Christa B. Allen with 73 percent of the vote. Probably an insurmountable lead. Jessica Chastain is keeping things a bit closer to Ke$ha… but not much. Chasty has 37 percent of the vote and the rest is all to KeUSDha, so if you’re having second thoughts, better vote now on either of these matchups. Otherwise, we’ll see them face off Friday.

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Comments (38):

  1. lali
    0

    This is my first Fug Madness. I think it’s hilarious and super fun so thanks for inventing it.

    Question that has nothing to do with FM – since I’m sure this is incredibly time consuming for y’all, does that mean fugcaps of shows will be delayed more than usual?

  2. GFY Heather
    0

    Maybe by accident sometimes? Revenge is going up today, Carrie Diaries tomorrow, and … I forgot about Dallas but I’ll get it in there somehow.

    • lali
      0

      Thanks for the quick response! I was making myself nuttier than the dark depths of Bieber’s closet looking for the Dallas fugcap.

      • Heather
        0

        Aw, that is so nice to hear. I just spaced on it — the first two rounds are A LOT OF WRITING and I kept forgetting to watch.

  3. Stefanie
    0

    Bieber vs. Gaga is the greatest matchup in the history of Fug Madness!!

    Chloe vs. Z.Mam. This is going to be a tough choice. Really tough.

    • Edith
      0

      So a Bieber vs Kim Kardashian final could actually happen. HOT DAMN. Gaga has truly embraced the Fug this year, but honestly, we haven’t even seen the worst examples of Justin’s dug. And then there’s this one, which inspired my favorite Heather meltdown ever:

      http://gofugyourself.com/fuggy-fuggy-fuggy-fuuuuuug-03-2013/justin-bieber-returns-to-his-hotel-shirtless

      Per Lanie, he sported that exact same shirtless/panties look AT AN AIRPORT IN POLAND last weekend. AT THE AIRPORT HE DOES THIS. Where OTHER PEOPLE ARE. (Also, the fug that precedes this look in the linked slideshow is completely unbeatable.) It’s not going to be easy, but he cannot be stopped in this competition.

      • Shanti
        0

        Edith, I shall now pretend that that shot of Bieber with his undies hanging out is taking place at an airport, and my fantasy Bieber/Gaga showdown will include Dueling Classy Airport snaps. Thank you!!!

      • natalie
        0

        I agree with the Kim K vs Bieber now, but I still think that it should have been a VagKin vs. Just Pretty Much Everything About Justin Bieber’s Entire Existence finale.

      • Katharine
        0

        Solely in the context of Fug Madness, I am now a Belieber. A picture Lainey’s posted a few times of a minder putting the Biebs in a car makes me laugh : he looks like a toddler spitting the dummy.

  4. AliceBlue
    0

    Bieber vs. Gaga? Oh the humanity!

    • Helen
      0

      OhmyGod I can’t wait.

    • mimi
      0

      It’s like the Godzilla vs. Mothra of Fug Madness. So unfair!

      • Edith
        0

        And THIS is why I really miss the “LIKE” button. HEE!

        (I suppose it’s a small price to pay for having the polls and comments working and the malware removed, but LIKE button, we hardly knew ye….)

  5. Amalia
    0

    I am SO EXCITED for tomorrow and Friday!

  6. Jackie
    0

    I so wanted to see Miley Cyrus go all the way. I can’t handle that atrocious haircut…I just can’t. And it’s like, Lady Gaga’s attire (as fug as it is) is just a series of costumes she wears to create a specific character. It’s like if you took a circus clown and put it up against Miley Cyrus (which is a hilarious thought, but it’s not really a fair matchup per say).

    • pantsonfire
      0

      I voted for Gaga, but I just wanted to throw out an “amen” to your comment on Miley’s haircut. I know that such things are subjective, but for the life of me, I just can’t understand all the love and acceptance that haircut is getting. It’s just incredibly unflattering on her face. She’s very cute, but that haircut is just not suited to her face. Like, at all. In any universe. Are we just all applauding because she did something different and arguably feminist by throwing off the shackles of long hair? Is that what is happening? Ok. I understand that point, but that is separate from saying that it’s aesthetically pleasing and flattering. I think folks are perhaps talking themselves into liking the way the cut looks in order to conform to their more abstract support for the idea of a teen queen chopping of a marker of conventional femininity. I am extremely willing to applaud her chop, and say “You go, Miley. Show them that you will not conform to their expectations of how you should look. Take back ownership of yourself! YES! P.S. it looks really bad. But that doesn’t matter!” That’s different than the white lie that it looks good.

      • Helen
        0

        I don’t think it works on her either, and I still think she’s trying to look like P!nk.

        • Edith
          0

          I think it’s cute, and I think it’s vastly improved her style. Far better to have Pink’s hair and go all black&white all-the-time than to wear ratty cuttoffs with rattier extensions, which is where she was sartorially a year ago.

      • bex
        0

        I think- and the fuggirls have said this too- that the cut & dye makes her eyes pop in a way I never knew they could. I genuinely think she looks gorgeous.

        • pantsonfire
          0

          Interesting. I am legit interested to hear such things. Because when I look at this cut, I see a Susan Powter kewpie doll. So, I guess I would say that I think the cut and color ages her, which should really be impossible for such a vivacious young thing. I see emphasized cheeks (as distinct from cheekBONES). I see a color that does not play well with her natural coloring. But I see what you mean about the eyes. For me, that does not outweigh the negatives, but this is inherently so subjective.

  7. Sylvia
    0

    I fully believe my Kim K vs. Beiber final is happening. Having said that, Bieber v. GaGa and Zosia v. Chloe makes me giddy.

    • Aphy
      0

      I have Kristen Stewart v the Beibs. I hope Beiber takes it all this year. His choices make out going champ Hudgen’s ensembles look like a Vogue spread.

  8. Wade
    0

    Personally, I don’t want to see any Kardashian ever again, and the thought of having to endure another view of the Beeb boob disgusts me. Some people don’t deserve even bad press or exposure.

  9. Tiffany
    0

    I think Beiber is waaaay more offensive than Gaga. He thinks he looks great, and I think Gaga does her thing with a bit more of a wink.

    That being said…I don’t know if i will get to vote on any of them! The polls worked for me in the begining, but yesterday and today none of them are showing up for me! It makes me kind of sad. :( Still luv GFY, though.

    • Heather
      0

      That’s really strange! We SHOULD be able to get back to our usual poll plugin this week so hopefully that will help. Have you tried clearing your cache, also?

  10. Brigid
    0

    Although this has come late in the game – I have developed a new lodestar for making my choices – whichever contestant wears the most sheer wins. Period.

  11. bex
    0

    I am sad about Stella. But Sevs vs Zos is gonna be amazing, because I feel like Zosia actually dresses VERY similarly to the Sevs, but without the panache to pull it off.

    • Edith
      0

      And without the joy. Sevs looks happy often enough that when she gives stern face it works. Zosia seems so disdainful of everything – clothes, makeup, the photographer, us for looking at her – and it just heaps on this layer of unpleasantness to her look almost every single time.

  12. Ghanimatrix
    0

    What’s the deal? I can’t see the round 2 Madonna bracket part II post. My reader sends me to a broken link and it’s also not on your front page…

  13. Chris P
    0

    I know it’s probably too late to change the results of Gaga/Cyrus, but I’m going to try.

    Ladies and gentlemen: http://youtu.be/cNfCcNUCFF8

    Just watch it. Do you want THAT? Or do you want giant inflatable vaginas? (Or rather, giant inflatable pregnant woman with vaginas that pop singers crawl out of, as if we didn’t get it the first five times they rebirthed themselves.) I rest my case.

    • Mongerel
      0

      Thank you for linking that! How absolutely adorable was that – gurl can twerk!