Fug Madness 2013, Final Four, Game Two: Bjork Bracket vs Charo Bracket


Remember, it’s not about the good things they wore. It’s not about whether they’re performing or not (in part because these two don’t dress that differently between sidewalk and stage, but also: We declared stage outfits eligible, so eligible they are). It’s JUST about which one you think committed worse crimes against themselves, and thus, us. Or, to put it another way, it’s about perusing the slideshow and their archives (Rihanna, Bieber) to find the answer to our favorite Fug Madness question:

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Comments (111):

  1. Karen

    I didn’t even need to look at the slideshow – Bieber all the way.

  2. jen310

    Yaaaassssssssssssssss! Bieber, the toddler prince, is killing it.


    I find his look, and attitude, to be so much more fugily offensive than RiRi. Futhermore, I would like to see the little dude take the fug crown and become the first male Fug Madness winner in history. Dropped-crotched diaper pants, a plethora of fugtastic bandanas, big, ole, fugly ass shoes, and overalls unhooked on one side to meet the Prime Minister of Canada – what’s not to hate. Fugging fantastic! Bieber FTW!

    • jen310

      BTW, as a lover of all things Jane Austen, I would like to applaud you on the use of “Pants & Pantsability” as well as Bronte’s “Wuthering Pants”. Thank you. It made my day. OH, HEATHCLIFF!

      • Helen

        OMG “Wuthering Pants”? Okay, now I totally do have to go through the slideshow.

        • Corriner

          If you love this you have to go visit the comments on the recent Kim Kardashian Pregnancy-Wear post… there may have been mention of a Jane Austen Summer Camp and Counselor Firth’s cabin.

          I’ve already said too much.

  3. emk

    such a hard decision, but yup Bieber

  4. Rihanna 2013

    This is YOUR YEAR, Rihanna! The heinous acts of malfashion she commits year after year somehow end up being bested by someone else in the final moments. I believe, however, that THIS YEAR she has outdone herself through the ever-pervasive nipple bearing, double-jean wearing, ill-fitting shredded hose under jean shorts that didn’t even look cool in 1982, and overall constant Halloween costume of looking half-man, half-woman will bring the Fug Madness trophy directly in her hands! Beiber is just a growing, low-crotch laden man growing up in the spotlight…but Rihanna willingly wears TWO PAIR OF HIDEOUS JEANS AT THE SAME TIME as an experienced adult woman! Nothing can outdo double-jean wearing. Nothing.

    • glee

      Sorry, but I belieb I can fug!
      (and those were not two pairs of jeans – it was actually just one pair, hideosly constructed, but one nonetheless)

    • Emily

      Unfortunately, the double-jeans aren’t eligible this year, right? So perhaps it is next year that will be the hear of the Rihanna.

  5. laura

    Bieber for the win!

  6. Carol C.

    For the record – I do not hate JB. I am an old, and he was not ever supposed to appeal to me. That does not negate the fact that his clothing choices are strange and appalling. Ri Ri’s choices are fugtastic, but not quite as appalling.

  7. emk

    If this comes down to Kim and Bieber I might faint from the pressure to decide.

  8. Goldfish

    Bieber was my choice, but I wish I had voted for RiRi. Bieber is just wearing a version of the same stupid pants over and over. Rihanna has some real breadth and scope to her fug. You don’t see her repeat those net shorts for instance. I feel like if she could have borrowed those low crotch pants from Halle Berry and met Bieber face to face in them, apples and apples, she could have triumphed.

    • Rebecca

      My sentiments precisely. Bieber’s outfits are likely chosen by a stylist, whereas RiRi picks out her own clothes. Although, I will admit to envying those pajamas of hers. Seriously, how comfy do they look?

    • Kristen

      This is the exact reason why I voted for RiRi. She has the potential to be so great yet chooses to wear…nipple exposing, hot-pant, fugotry. Bieber is just a douchy little boy who wears dumb pants.

      • Mel

        Ha! Fugotry! LOL.

        I, too, voted RiRi, although I could get behind JB (but only with my eyes closed; there is a PRODIGIOUS amount of underpants hanging out) for the win if I must. His crotchtacular crime spree against pants was truly impressive in a way that has caused my between-eyebrow-elevenses to deepen for good.

        That being said, SHEER NIPPLE-BARING-BANDEAU IN PUBLIC. That is the stuff of true nightmares. At least, thank GOD, we did not see any bits-baring from JB. (Did we? I think we didn’t, but my retinas are seared from Fug Madness, and perhaps I missed it.) What I am trying to say here, is that Rihanna was robbed. Add another victim to the epic 2013 JB Hammerpants crimewave.

  9. marlie

    He gets my vote because of the overwhelming douchetasticness of it all.

  10. Carnac

    I want to vote Bieber. I really do. And not just for the constant parade of diaper pants. I hate what I’m about to write but he looks so inauthentic. Sort of like Disney Does Gangsta, Totally contradicting myself I’m equally horrified that Disney Does Gangsta might influence some children to think positively about gangs. Does sociological fug count?

    On the other hand I can’t get past the sheer lace bandeau top.

    What to do? What to do?

  11. Katie Thebeau

    Bieber, purely for meeting the Prime Minister in those gross overalls. You could almost hear the collective face-palming in Canada when those photos came out…

    Also, I like Rihanna’s peach sweater.

    • Aphy

      Absolutely. That’s why I chose Beibs. I would like to think that if RiRi met Obama, she would have the sense to dress appropriately. I just can’t with the coveralls. It is just so rude.

    • Amy

      The overalls did it for me too. I think he would look very nice in a suit!

  12. Why Rihanna WHY?

    Three words for the win: Leather prison coveralls. BOOM goes the dynamite!

  13. Suzie

    I hope more people vote for RiRi to make this interesting…she really did have horrible stuff. See sheer lace bandeau top ^

    • Kristin

      That final slide tipped the scales for me. That, and the flames-with-no-pants getup that looked like Rita Ora. RiRi, you should NEVER copy your copycat!

      However, I have no problem with Little Lord Dropcrotch going all the way to the Finals.

  14. D

    Biebs just has the same thing over and over. It’s hideous, but at least he’s wearing clothes. Usually. RiRi on the other hand has a spectacular display of fug and half the time is missing vital pieces of clothing.

    I relaly think people are voting biebs cause it’s biebs, but I’m going for true fuggery.

  15. Ghanimatrix

    Rihanna seems like everything is worn with a nod and a wink. From Bieber we get the bleakest blankest look of utter mouth-breathing douchiness. I know we’re supposed to be voting on the clothes but I can’t help it – I must vote for Bieber based on his commitment to being a douche, plus the pants.

  16. keekey

    I’m surprised that Bieber is beating Rihanna by such a wide margin right now. Yeah, Bieber had some terrible outfits, but he’s young and his fug is so repetitive. Rihanna is gorgeous and talented and yet her wardrobe is a like a festival of sad fug. She should win based on the last outfit in the slideshow alone, where she’s wearing a pink see-through bandeau bra top AND a sweatshirt and she deliberately chose NOT TO ZIP UP the sweatshirt! That is some deliberate fug.

    That said, both competitors here are more than worthy to take on Rita Ora or Kim K.

    • cebec

      There is surely a need for the biebs to be punished for the insane repetitiveness of the fug though!

      RiRi clearly tried mesh cyclepants once, and while it was probably fun for her at the time she thought better of ever inflicting that particular fashion crime on us again… the Biebs on the other hand sent out for MANY more hideous variants of his signature wrongs (nappypants, bandanas, giant trucker hats, anything he is told will lead to ‘swagger’…)

  17. Diane

    Canadian Formal Overalls FTW

  18. martinipie

    BIEBER FTW. I see what people are saying about the one-note thing of his look, but every iteration of the look makes me cringe and feel ill, while at least some of Rihanna’s offerings, even in this slideshow, do not make me want to puke and/or yell at her. Also I think such strong dedication to one note of Fug is clearly indicative of AWFUL TASTE while RiRi is kinda going scattershot with her attempts. Sometimes she strikes gold. Bieber never does.

    • AmandaD

      It may be Stockholm Syndrome at this point, but some of Rihanna’s slides I found myself thinking were almost palate cleansers compared to Bieber’s. And she did at least have a few wins this year–the brown dress on Battleship promos, the Met Ball, even the red Grammy dress was a near win. Bieber on the other hand, is just relentlessly horrifying, with nothing even approaching neutral, let alone a win.

      • Vandalfan

        We are twins. I was almost swayed by the last photo, but in all, RiRi was “oh, eeww, maybe not” and Beibster was consistently a wretched OMGWTFBBQ.

  19. Gal

    While RiRi’s outfits are horrible, she at least changes them up a little. The Beiber wears the same poopy filled diaper pants in different colors and fabric. The Beiber for the win!!

  20. Kristina

    I’d like to put forward a motion that reclassifies the “pants” in picture 19 as jodhpurs.

  21. pantsonfire

    Thus far, my equation has been something like: (add up the instances of fug, accounting for severity of fug) divided by (number of photographic instances of fashion) = fug quotient. In this equation “fug” is defined by using a multi-factored test, accounting for such things as crassness, cruelty, intent, general offensiveness, sense of humor, etc.

    I don’t know if that comports with the guidelines, but I think every fug voter probably has their own approach, and that’s my favorite part of Fug Madness – hearing why people vote the way they do, what matters to them, etc. My system has met its match with Bieber v. Rihanna. They are truly coming out equal. So I voted Rihanna to try to balance things a bit because it really isn’t right that Bieber should win by such a large margin.

    • Cecily

      My equation is similar: who gives us one-note fug compared to those who give us an orchestra. Bieber beats the carrying-a-load-pants/measuring cup hat drum over and over, whilst Rihanna plays a symphony of fug crazy, from trumpets to timpani! Sad to see her losing to that sad sack, yeah, I said it.

  22. CJG

    I gave the Fug to Bieber. Wearing those overalls to meet the PM was the ultimate in fuggery.

  23. I Pick Pretty

    *summons best Chris Berman voice* Biebs is going . . . ALL . . . THE . . . WAY!

    (How often in life do you get to talk sports announcers & droopy diaper drawers? I heart this site.)

  24. Sheneve Butler

    I couldn’t vote in this one. Couldn’t decide. I will agree with whomever is chosen.

  25. glee

    I think Rihanna will give us years of more fug (she is talented!), whereas this is The year of the Bieb! And he will go into the darkness wearing the cloak of a FUG KING!

    (I can also see him drowning in the cloaka of KK, who will persist in assaulting our eye balls with her interminable fug. I feel bad for the babye.)

  26. CL

    Eek! It won’t let me vote! Bieber’s going to take this…

  27. Jai

    I disagree when people say we are voting for Bieber just b/c people dislike him. I honestly think Rhianna knows how to dress. Sure, her outfits can be crazy, but she does know how to put clothes together. In that sense, she’s got an innate sense of style that reminds me of Gwen S.

    Anyway, I find Bieber’s outfits repulsive so he gets my vote. Oh, and if people stopped to take a look at what Harper was doing to Canada’s environment, I would they’d agree overalls are too good for that man.

    • MegoPachego

      I personally think Bieber wore the overalls because the straps are an extra precaution meant to thwart one teenage boy’s overwhelming urge to present a full moon to Harper. If only he had … he’d be my hero.

    • camille

      I have no love lost for Harper. Still, I wouldn’t wear half-undone overalls to meet him (or under any other circumstances) – if your only way of protesting someone’s policies is to thumb your nose at them via your outfit, you’ve already kind of lost the argument. Not that I think Bieber is intellectually equipped to have a serious discussion with the PM about anything, but that’s also why I don’t think those are Protest Pants. Those are Honestly Doesn’t Know Any Better Pants – or I’m So Cool The Rules Don’t Apply To Me Pants.

      • ChristieLea

        WORD. I greatly dislike Harper, but I highly doubt Biebs was able to even point him out in a lineup before this meeting was set up, let alone be able to form an opinion of the Prime Minister’s skills as leader of the country.

  28. ChristieLea

    Professor Poopypants has this one…if only for making poor Harper wonder “Is this really what The Kids These Days wear? Seriously?”

  29. spygrl1

    I vote Rhianna because, nipples.

  30. Joemama

    Diaper pants beat nipples anytime. Just barely, though.

  31. PeggyOC

    Frankly, while she wears the crazy, Rhianna occasionally looks really nice. And she’s been on a steady upswing of looking good on RC and formal occasions. Bieber never, ever looks like anything but an ass-hat.

  32. Ladyblahblah

    I’m going to need DNA evidence that that’s not actually Miley Cyrus in picture 5 (the black turtleneck halter top and fingerless gloves). I wouldn’t want Bieber to lose on a technicality.

    • pantsonfire

      Ha! I’m sure Bieber would be happy to provide it. His preferred DNA collection method is to spit in a person’s face, so…

  33. Laura

    Bieber ftw. Rihanna may change up her crazy fug (which occasionally looking nice, like in the red dress she wore to the Grammys, or whatever awards show it was), but Bieber’s insistance on continuously wearing those horrifying droopy diaper pants wins it in my book. Stop trying to make those happen, Biebs!

  34. perletwo

    It’s gonna kome down to Bieber vs. K.Kard, isn’t it? How do you solve a problem like the Bieber? I mean even K.Kard vs. Rihanna would be a tough call, but this…

  35. anna s.

    Whoever wins this is going to KILL Kim or Rita.

    • Mel


    • Camille

      I was thinking the same thing. I voted Bieber, but I think Rihanna deserves it just as much. These two are actually the only two left standing in my bracket (which got seriously effed up as soon as J.Lo lost – I seriously underestimated some of those people I never heard of before). And either way, whooever wins this match will TRAMPLE the champion of the left bracket. This is the final, right here.

  36. Sally

    I voted for Bieber with this one. While a lot of Rihanna`s stuff is terrible I actually think she pulls a lot of it off with her attitude and persona and makes some of it kind of work for her. Nothing Bieber wore worked for him.

  37. Shanti

    Rihanna manages to rock a lot of her crazy looks. Bieber thinks he rocks his, but fails. Hard.

  38. foo

    I haven’t read all the comments, but notice on the red “pants” on main pic, it looks like there is either an… exit hole (nicest way I could think to word it) or an inflation opening right where I would never, ever want to picture. I am very sorry I noticed it, but thought I would share in hopes in would go away. I apologize profusely if you looked there because of this post.

    Biebhole for the win!

    Rihanna is bad, especially the see-through top, but her styling and attitude works in her favor for carrying some of that crap off. Biebs attitude makes me want to hit my computer- or put him in an infant car seat- and adds to the pervasive fug.

    Great captions, btw. :)

  39. Jill

    I wanted to vote Biebs, but Rihanna’s nipples sealed my vote.

    • Courtney

      Yeah, those and mesh biker shorts, make me question HOW bieber has so many votes?!

  40. Goldfish

    Question: has a guy ever won Fug Madness before?

  41. Wade's missing shirt

    Wow, the Bieber Juggernaut of poopy pants really cannot be stopped. I really thought RiRi would put up more of a fight. She did wear some really horrible clothes (lace bra top was a valiant effort for the win) but she lost my vote because she did not meet any heads of state in full fug. I also have to say – the toddler prince’s ability to make a baseball cap look like a hardhat is a feat I previously thought was impossible. Toss in the fact that the Biebs seems to think this “look” gives him some cred and I think we have an unstoppable powerhouse. Let’s see if KK can put up more of a fight. (I can’t wait to see what Kanye has to say about that match up..)

  42. madness

    The way he wears his HAT in the third photo slays me. A ball cap is not supposed to be AS TALL AS YOUR ENTIRE FACE. That thing needs to be broken, softened up, and pulled down a little like a real garment and not a fashion version of a 1950s hair dryer bonnet. Of course, we all know he’s only wearing it to protect his bouffant in this one.

    • Aj

      I got to the third photo and that was it — game, set and match to the Biebster

  43. wordphreak

    Didn’t even have to think about it.

  44. Rayna

    Yeah, no.

    To me, Bieber is True Fug. RiRi is just nekkid.

  45. Mai

    I’m sitting here reading this when it hits me – I finally realized what Bieber’s hair reminds me of. SNOW. As in the Canadian guy who sang about informers and licky-boom-boom-down and all that.

    Huh. Must be something in the water up there.

  46. Sandra

    RiRi wears some weird sh!t, but I think Kaiser Karl could save her. She also has great material with which to work. Bieber is Vanilla Ice’s younger, douchier cousin, which is automatic systemic failure.

  47. TonyG

    Oh, myyyyyy.

    RiRi is being pantsed by the Biebs.

    I disagree with the results, but lordy, this is an impressive drubbing.

    I just hope we aren’t encouraging RiRi to be even whackier next year.

    Wait…What am I saying? I love RiRi’s whackiness. Bring it even harder next year Rihanna…some day the Fug Crown will be yours!

  48. Burby

    It’s the half-assed hammer pants. I cannot abide them.

  49. Popcouver

    Nothing makes me happier than reading all of the scientific analyses of the various veins of fug in the comments of each post. I mean, I LOVE Jessica and Heather’s commentary but reading everyone’s reasoning behind their vote is pure madness. LONG LIVE FUG MADNESS!

  50. Ann

    Ah, the wonder of Fug Madness, the best bracket of the year. Thank you Heather and Jessica for all your puntastic work!

    In all my years of Fug Madness, I have quietly predicted winners in my head and lost every year – well, except the magical victory of the mighty SWINTON. But this year I feel a level of confidence that I have not felt before. I am going to say it – I’m calling a winner now.

    It’s going to come down to Khouse kof Kardashian v. The Bieb…. and, ladies and gentlemen, this is truly The Year of the Bieb! No one who wears droopy diaper pants every day of the week can lose Fug Madness. GO BIEB GO!

  51. Ann

    I was so full of confidence with my prediction that I forgot to say why I am so confident!

    OK. Rhianna, while generally hideous fashion-wise, is beautiful with a good figure. Her fug is better is on her than it would be on someone else (say, the Bieb) – she somewhat (sometimes) manages to pull off her wacky outfits. She reminds me of an insane Gwen Stefani.

    Bieb, on the other hand, pulls off nothing. He consistently looks like a try-hard twerp and I cannot resist the urge to flick him or put him in time out until he changes his pants and picks up his toys. There is no sense of experimentation, just one-note grossness. It’s like he’s bullying himself.

  52. MegoPachego

    I’d just like to say that I was hoping for a pantdemonium caption … I liked where the punniness was going.

  53. Chris P

    On one hand, The Biebs has a far more one-note fug than Rihanna. On the other hand, Bieber’s (presumed – I hope I never find proof) penis actually handicaps him – he just doesn’t have the opportunities to branch out that women do.

    On the OTHER other hand, he has a vision. And it’s a vision of FUG. And he is COMMITTED to it.

    On the OTHER OTHER other hand, Selena Gomez vs…Chris Brown. (And Selena Gomez, while a fugger in her own right,

    But then again, S.O.s don’t count. So, while I was expecting Riri to put up more of a fight than LiLo, the Biebernaut it is.

    Hopefully, the curse of Fug Madness winners comes true (see: Bai Ling, Aubrey O’Day, Amber Rose-(West)-Khalifa, Taylor Momsen, and partially Vanessa Hudgens). So while I think it should be closer, I’m kind of glad Bieber’s crushing Rihanna like a bug.

    • Chris P

      …and Selena Gomez, while a fugger in her own right, is still nowhere as fugly as Chris Brown (both physically, sartorially, and personally).

      Although, is GFY embargoing Breezy (not that I mind)? I haven’t seen him featured here in ages – even back during the Rihanna Reunion (the Ri-union, I guess).

  54. Ellen

    This one is the real final match. I voted for the Biebs, but either one would take down Rita/Kim. I thought K. Stew might be Bieber’s downfall, but now that she’s gone, he’s got this one in the bag.

  55. Claire

    The battle of the pants vs the pants less. I hate all of their clothes but its the Beibs for me. Those pants have been bothering me for so long now and after Heather talking about him wearing them so no one can find his penis to cut it off-they are just magic. He so deserves the FUG after the overalls and the pants. End of story.

  56. Willa W

    I was actually on RiRi but then yesterday in a fashion shop I spotted a pair of Biebs-inspired earth-kissing pants and I thought “hell no!! one thing is he wears them but now it’s spreading” – he needs to get the FUG for those atrocities, we need to stand up and say NO.

  57. Scanderoon

    I was all set to vote Bieber until I got to the last slide. She went out fully aware that she was exposing her nipples. And not even in a flattering way – I mean, if you’re gonna have them out there, do something less squashing and horrible than a lace bandeau. She has lovely boobs (which we have unfortunately seen a great deal of through the years), and that top, designed to garner attention, does her no favours.

    Ah, well. I see that Bieber is unstoppable. Fug Nation’s backlash against the Droopy Pants of Doom cannot be stopped!

    • Scanderoon

      I should say, that top is probably designed to be hidden under other clothing or otherwise not visible to the public, but she wore it in a way designed to garner attention.

  58. Susannah

    Here’s why I can’t vote for Bieber… I want him to just GO. AWAY. And every time he wins, we just have to see more Beiber and that makes my heart so very sad and the only remedy is to curl up on the couch and watch Gilmore Girls and One Tree Hill and 90210 and eat Cheetos and cry that he even exists and WHY DO YOU MAKE ME EAT SO MANY CHEETOS, BIEBER???

  59. Stephanie

    The thing about Rihanna is… she somehow pulls a lot of this off. I think it’s her accessories – her makeup, hair and jewelry are often amazing, not to mention her stunning bitchface. I had to give it to Beiber.

  60. Sandra

    OK, this IS NOT RACIST. But he’s a skinny white boy from Canada (right?). She is an Island Girl and therefore at least doesn’t look like she is hi-jacking a look from another culture. They are both so terrible I had to bring it down to this. Couldn’t make it all the way through the slideshow…. May need smelling salts.

  61. nmlhats

    Keep up the alternating fuggery. It is MUCH easier to compare when the competitor photos alternate, and they get more equal scrutiny, too.

  62. Wade

    No male, even a male of such questionable maleness, should even be in this contest. Remove Bieber from all of our collective memories, and from all annals of history, please.

  63. Nuna

    Beber is just a kid. Hes got kid’s issues and bad pants. Riri should know better. Voting for him feels mean. Voting for her feels like a wake up call. I go Riri, just like last year we went Vanessa and not Lindsay.

  64. Sajorina

    Voted for Rihanna because I’m greatly offended by her FUG and because I just want Bieber to be OVER!

    • Chris P

      Oddly enough, I voted for Bieber because I just wanted him to be over.

      I mean, what has Taylor (Wheresher)Momsen done since Gossip Girl? Amber Rose has managed to find the one rapper that fugs harder than Yeezy, and is nowhere near as ubiquitous as she was during her winning campaign. Vanessa Hudgens may have earned herself a berth this year (as an unceremoniously eliminated 8-seed), and Aubrey O’Day is trying to claw her way back into the limelight, but Bai Ling’s biggest appearance of note since 2008 was on Celebrity Rehab.

      All I’m saying is, vote for the Bieb if you want him to leave.

  65. remi

    I sort of like how Rihanna wears alot of pants, including to red carpets, on stage, etc.
    I don’t like the pants that she wears, but as an idea for variety I do like it. I understand that dresses and skirts are all very nice but, even though this post doesn’t show it, pants can be very nice on formal occasions as well and you see them alot less.

    Also, waiting for Bieber in something that isn’t pants. Is there? There must be!