Fug Madness 2013, Elite Eight: Charo Bracket


This one could be very close. One of them will be in, and the other one will be out — to borrow a phrase. How will you choose?

Archives: Rihanna, Heidi Klum

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Comments (55):

  1. Eliza Bennett
    0

    I voted after slide 4. BOOTS ARE NOT PANTS, PEOPLE.

    • Fawn
      0

      Yeah, you’re right. Heidi isn’t dressed well, but at least she’s DRESSED.

      • Frances
        0

        And a see-thru, cheap, tacky band is not even a bra, let alone a SHIRT, Rihanna! Had to vote for Rihanna based on that horrendous look alone.

        But has Heidi always been so, um, obvious? Or is this really a break-up thing she’s going through?

        • Jenny
          0

          Really, when did it become okay to wear a see-through bra (if that is even what it is) out of the house as a top. I need to lie down…..I feel so old.
          And Heidi needs to provide her girls with some support.

      • Wade's missing shirt
        0

        That’s why Full priced RiRi got my vote as well.

    • daphne
      0

      This is a tough one – they are both so pretty, and they both look so awful! I know it’s not eligible this year, but the image of Riri wearing THREE pairs of jeans at the same time haunts me. Does she never pee????

      • Eliza Bennett
        0

        Dude, it’s worse than you think. those pants are from Rihanna’s River Island line, and they’re only one pair of pants. WHY woul you want to look like you’re wearing the world’s ugliest chastity belt? It’s like Fug Trompe loeil.

    • I Pick Pretty
      0

      I voted after Boots-as-Pants slide #4 too – those even fail the bootaloon test, don’t they? Both contestants show a lack of taste, but at least La Klum looked presentable (if also vulgar) in some of her choices.

    • Chris P
      0

      SHE HAD ME AFTER SLIDE 3.

      And 9. And 11. And actually, pretty much everything.

      I mean, yes, La Klum did try to pull off the upset in slide 15 (and she finished stronger than Riri), but oh dear God Robyn Rihanna Fenty, do you dress yourself in the dark, young lady? Fire your stylist, get a sassy gay friend (if you don’t have one, I volunteer myself for the job), and learn the difference between edgy and cracktacular.

  2. Rosa
    0

    Heidi is a bad dresser because she insists on showing us body parts that I don’t need to see. We get it, you’ve got a fabulous body. No go put some clothes on.
    Rihanna is just a BAAAAD dresser. The “outfits” are horrible. You’re young. You’re rich. For heaven’s sake, buy some decent clothes.

  3. jen310
    0

    I went with “putting it ALL on display” Heidi. RiRi will probably completely vanquish her in this battle but RiRi rocked some of her fug shit this year. RiRi was even more subtle with her fug (except for the nips) than Heidi. Heidi’s fug reeks of desperation and that is so unnecessary when you have a body like hers.

    RiRi’s got that edgy “I’m a BADASS ROCKSTAR” fug and I can accept it. I don’t always like it but I ain’t mad at it. Its more humorous than offensive. Therefore, Heidi’s desperate fug beats RiRi’s silly fug for me.

    • Carol
      0

      AGREED. Plus, Rihanna looked legitimately great several times this year, and somehow, even when her clothes are COMPLETELY INSANE, they never read as tacky to me. Heidi, on the other hand, looked tacky on OSCAR NIGHT.

      • Jessica
        0

        I agree that at least Rihanna is sometimes edgy and often looks decent. Heidi almost always just looks tacky.

  4. Jeanie
    0

    RiRi had my vote with the lace bandeau. I just can’t with that.

  5. camille
    0

    Ri Ri looks like she regrets her choices vis-a-vis that second outfit. But she obviously doesn’t repent enough to STOP dressing that way.

    That said, they both commit crimes against their foxy bodies. Klum is pancaking her fabulous rack, and Ri Ri insists on making herself looks square and/or stumpy.

  6. Amanda
    0

    Rhianna always seems like someone who is intentionally dressing weird, much like Gaga or Nicki Minaj. That’s not fug to me. I voted for Heidi.

  7. foo
    0

    Went with Rihanna for sheer variety of fuggery.

    I’m not sure what is going on with a lot of those pics, but the first one looks like she cut off control top hose and wore them as shorts. And I can’t see worth a shit today, but is the cat on her shirt wearing a necktie on its head?

    The leather gaucho slipcover outfit is horrendous. It’s like something Hells Angels Golf and Beauty School Apparel divisions teamed up on. Not to mention general lack of pants. I have (slight) OCD and just thinking about sitting on something wearing any of that is stressful.

    HK is just boring flashy-trashy fug. It is fug for sure, but with no variation. She is starting to be a human Kia Country radio ad, as far as her clothes go. (If you have not heard these, count yourself lucky) Repetitive, annoying and wondering why someone paid for this when it could obviously be much better.

    • Helen
      0

      I think the cat is just wearing a necktie as a necktie.

      ‘Cause, y’know, that’s more normal.

      I thought this would be a tough choice, but it wound up being an easy Rihanna for me. Because even when Klum is dressed as if she has no class, I never feel like she REALLY has no class. I cannot say the same for Rihanna.

      • foo
        0

        Thank you, legitimately. :) That was fuzzy and confusing to figure out and it looked like a tongue below it. The blurriness would have helped with the bandeau top, were it not scorched it my memory from before.

        • Helen
          0

          Ohhhh, yeah, I totally see how it would look tongue-like if your vision is fuzzy today!

          And unfortunately, I think that see-through bandeau is branded into all of us now.

    • Amander
      0

      “The leather gaucho slipcover outfit is horrendous. It’s like something Hells Angels Golf and Beauty School Apparel divisions teamed up on. ”

      Well said!

  8. Amanda
    0

    There has always been something distinctly 90′s about Heidi’s blue tie-me-up dress (as featured in slide 22), and it occurs to me today that what it precisely reminds me of is those lace up jeans. Whether they laced in the front or down the sides, it’s the blue and the barely being held together aspect of them that is so strongly evoked in Heidi’s cracksemble.

    And thus ends Fug as a Book Report

  9. Charlotte
    0

    I voted for Heidi because Rihanna looks just the same as ever – no better, no worse. She’s just Rihanna. Heidi is in a serious rut. Context is key.

    Also, a lot of those Rihanna photos look like candids, and I tend to grade on a curve when it comes to candids. Heidi’s fugs are almost all for events, meaning she thought they were appropriate in the context of haute couture red carpet looks. That’s a serious lapse in judgement, particularly from someone supposedly as into fashion as she is.

    • GFY Heather
      0

      Don’t be fooled — even with candids, they know they will get photographed. Candids are rarely truly candid, nor off-guard.

      • Fawn
        0

        And even in a candid – a lace bandeau with visible nips is not acceptable (in fact, it’s unacceptable even if you know there will be no photographic evidence)

        • pantsonfire
          0

          Yes, I’ve said it before, but I’m fairly certain I recall when that photo was taken, and I think she was shopping, midday on a workday at Barneys or some such place on Madison or 5th. This is not like she was making a dash from her house to get the mail. She went out. In public. Shopping. In Manhattan. Essentially topless.

  10. NanX
    0

    I’m convinced that Rihanna’s style formula is as follows…
    Ridiculously overpriced = style
    It appears as if she has challenged herself by purchasing only high-priced “designer” pieces & now, faced with a mish-mash of craziness, must assemble them into a look.

  11. Kate
    0

    Heidi’s fug is strangely monotonous–legs, boobs, legs, boobs, blah blah blah. Yeah, we get it, you’ve got long legs.

    Rihanna has a refreshingly wide range of fug she deploys, and for that she gets my vote.

  12. Tiffany
    0

    I went with Rhianna because Heidi is in post-divorce-flaunt-it phase. I feel kind of bad for her desperation. Rhianna’s outfits are worn with such a smug expression, like she doesn’t know how horrible her style really is.

  13. Michelle
    0

    Heidi’s dresses seem to start out as almost fabulous, then something goes wrong. Whereas Rihanna is just throwing hideous separates together or staying in her pajamas.

    See through bandeau top FTW.

  14. Art Eclectic
    0

    Even Heidi Klum’s constant exposure of her wax job can’t slow down the fug train of Rihanna.

  15. Jill
    0

    Had to vote for Heidi, even though I’m clearly in the minority after my eyes were once again assaulted by that heinous turquoise lace up monstrosity. That’s possibly the worst look all year if you ask me!!

  16. Lynne
    0

    At this point, I find myself voting for the person who annoys me the most. I think I need to reassess.

  17. Cara
    0

    I voted for Heidi because her dresses just look so CHEAP! Rihanna at least feels really deliberately terrible whereas I feel like Heidi has no idea she looks like Shania Twain just released a line for K Mart.

  18. Vandalfan
    0

    I voted for Klum, because she really should know better, she’s been at fashion for some time and has moved in many different circles. RiRi is just wearing what her wanna-be gang member handlers are telling her to wear, and the poor thing seems to have the self-esteem of a carrot.

  19. twitwhileblack
    0

    I have some strange empathy for what Heidi is doing even though I can’t articulate the idea. RiRi on the other hand is doing some stuff that could be categorized as a hate crime. I still love you RiRi.

  20. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    No matter how little Heidi is wearing at least she nevers looks sloppy or slobby.

  21. Kait
    0

    One thing these women have in common is that they often look good in spite of their hideous clothing. I ended up voting for RiRi solely based on the nipple band.

  22. maryse
    0

    i don’t care about rihanna. i hate that umbrella song and i’m still mad at her for recording it. but i do care about heidi. she’s lovely and charming and she so needs an intervention. a wake-up call. so i voted for her. TIM HELP HEIDI!!!

  23. HKS
    0

    I wonder if Heidi was placed first in the slideshow, she’d have more votes. Just because it seems that Riri’s fug burned off everyone’s retinas, rendering it impossible to see all the hideous fug of Heidi. I mean, I think both of them could easily win this, but for some reason I am just extra bothered that Heidi – someone who harshly judges a fashion design contest – can dress THIS terribly. This tackily. This fashion backward.

  24. pantsonfire
    0

    Rihanna, no question. Heidi’s taste level has definitely plummeted lately–not sure if she’s insecure after four kids or what (she obviously has NO reason to be), and that’s unfortunate, but some of those dresses were almost fine or even good with minor alterations. In contrast, I get the impression that Rihanna is literally dressing AT us. It’s an aggressive act that is so reminiscent of Christina Aguilara’s dirrrrrty phase, but far less charming (and that phase wasn’t charming in the slightest). Reasonable minds can differ, but it reads like an angry tantrum. And whatever — as Madge says, “express yourself.” BUT, you can do it with some modicum of decency, self-respect, and class . . . and maybe instead of being angry that you’re in the public eye and people are judging your life choices…take a step away from the limelight. That way we could all go back to not seeing your nipples against our will.

    In conclusion, yes, Heidi needs to put it away, but Rihanna’s fug feels malicious and angry; it lacks the playfulness that I appreciate in fug, which is still present in Heidi’s fug.

  25. jean
    0

    I can’t believe Heidi is losing so badly. I just think anyone with her obviously genetics qualities and access to fashion should look more expensive and interesting. Rihanna just looks like like a music performer to me–half her outfits seem like stage outfits. whereas Heidi is going to fashion events in THOSE dresses.

  26. jean
    0

    Yeesh, grammar! “obvious genetic quality” I need to reread before replaying. My apologies.

  27. Sajorina
    0

    Rihanna got my vote… That’s some serious FUG!

  28. esther p.
    0

    so … difficult …

  29. Guerra
    0

    Heidi looks desperate, desperate always wins!!

  30. nmlhats
    0

    Looking at the brackets, I see the championship coming down to Justin Bieber versus Kim Kardashian.

  31. electric
    0

    I’m sorry but Klum wins this by a mile!! At least Riri knows her get ups are ridic and she can work them (except for that pink lace bandeau top, that thing should be put to sleep). Klum just looks tacky. Her clothes are terrible and she thinks they look good.

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