(4) ASHANTI vs. (6) LINDSAY LOHAN
In which Fug Madness brackeologists wonder, “can Lilo defeat…THE VAGINA SLING? Or will THE VAGINA SLING go all the way?” You decide:
I think one vagina sling cannot pull the weight of an entire tournament
Judging from the BI that Gawker posted during Fashion Week, it can try!
Honestly, the worst part wasn’t the fact that she was wearing a see-through dress. It was the shoes, which I refuse to get over.
I’m also in disbelief that Linds is actually winning at Fug Madness. We usually bounce her in the first round, right?
LiLo is my new favorite, now that it KK is out. First, the Fug is Epic, but more importantly, winners tend to DISAPPEAR, and I wish a year off from LiLo.
Wow. Tough call. Both are an assault on the eyes. I went with Lilo. I believe they are committing equally egregious crimes against fashion but the odor of tragedy emanating from Lilo pushes her over, I think.
This match-up brings up the perennial philosophical debate of fug madness. Does exuberant fug beat sad fug? I’m giving it to Ashanti for the glorious v-sling.
I totally agree, this is always such a challenge. I find it hard to fug someone that looks like she is having fun, so I voted for Lilo instead. It’s amazing to me how much less fugly one can look with an awesome smile!
Sad fug vs. exuberant fug – nicely put, Miss Dove. Are we rewarding someone with our vote (in which case, you go, Ashanti), or hoping that our collective disapproval may help to rehabilitate (in which case, let’s hope Lindsay Lohan is following the madness). I had the same problem with the Charo bracket. Fergie just looks so glumly determined all the time, while Robyn really doesn’t seem to care if her platform timberlands make my brain hurt. I think the exuberant fuggers will not change and god bless them for that. They like what they’re doing. The sad fuggers need help.
And it also falls into the natural fug vs. costume/goofy for the sake of it/sort of professional fug. I think the natural fugger (someone who tries to look good, thinks they look good) should win every time (which is why I NEVER vote for Gaga).
oops…I left the word “debate” off from the end of my first sentence.
Ashanti’s hair and face tend to look good, so I can focus on that and pretend to ignore the fug below. That is not possible with LiLo, whose hair might be the biggest fug of all…
Serious people!! I know Lohan wears just the ugliest stuff but I am totally convinced everyone is voting based on the fact that they just don’t like her. Understandably so obviously but come on…Ashanti wins hands down. This entire thing is corrupted if you ask me..too many people voting on feelings instead of clothes!
No offense, Lauren, but how do you know why people are voting? You said yourself, “Lohan wears just the ugliest stuff.” Maybe Ashanti is the obvious choice to you, but others obviously don’t feel the same way. It’s perfectly fine for you to have an opinion that differs from mine, but I’m not going to presume to know why you do.
Also, Lilo hardly ever wears a bra. Gross.
Um no I voted for Lohan cause she looks bad from head to toe – Ashanti may look completely tacky but her face & hair are pretty good
I’m voting straight fug, full on, and it’s no contest. LiLo all the way. Her clothes are just awful, they look ratty and dilapidated, even when she’s trying to look classy. There’s a Norma Desmond/Miss Havisham thing running through so many of her outfits; they look like they’ve been sitting rumpled in a closet full of moth balls for years, or as if she sleeps in them. Or both. The refusal to wear a bra with the too-tight-rumpled-pillowcase perfectly encapsulates her fug – she not only doesn’t understand what looks good, she makes the clothes look WORSE by her choices. And if we’re talking about the full package, Lindsey wins again, for the terrible TERRIBLE hair alone, not to mention the slicing and dicing and filling and plumping of her once-beautiful face.
That’s the glory of Fug Madness, and democracy, in general. We can vote for whoever we want for whatever reason we want.
Exactly! I was going to bring democracy into my earlier statement, but you said it much more succinctly than I would have!
What a silly comment. I’ve voted for Lilo because her clothes are absolutely hideous. Not living in the USA, I’m not subjected to saturation media coverage of her behaviour and don’t have any opinions about her as a person. But she’s a terrible dresser.
On another topic, what’s with Ashanti and that weird hair loop she wears across her forehead? It makes her look like she’s been lobotimised.
That dress that you referred to as the Vagina sling’s more conservative cousin. Look how it has a panel of sheer fabric nestling right up against the boundaries of her hoo-ha. It is an IMMODESTY panel, fer cryin out loud. A woman who has to have her clothes specially tailored to include immodesty panels is a wonder to behold.
Lilo… i don’t think she’s quite out of the Britney-Spears-head-shaving-umbrella-whacking territory yet. She looks ghastly but the worst part is how she’s dangling one slingback into the grave. Now, if her mother were the one taking the punches….
I was wondering about that sheer panel. It almost looked opaque, but then a little pubic shading (ewww) gave it away. How do these women not wear undergarments? This is an honest question.
Lilo all the way! Not one of her outfits gets a pass. Some of Ashanti’s outfits at least have an almost (but not quite) pass.
That wrinkly nude/beige wreck of a dress with the awful shoes (Lilo has a penchant for awful shoes, apparently) seals the deal for me. And I’ll repeat my thoughts on people who want to pass over Lilo’s fug due to her drug/alcohol/personal issues: I completely understand your point, but even drug-fueled messes like Courtney Love and Paz de la Huerta can occasionally step out in some very lovely dresses.
I thought the vagina sling would take it all, but even the VS cannot take down LiLo’s BOOBS OF TERROR! Those are some seriously terrifying boobs.
Wow – this one was SO. HARD. I was totally prepared to vote Lilo without even looking at the pictures, ‘cuz you know – it’s Lilo and her clothes (not to mention her existence) is an assault (and not just on the eyes); but I think I was coloured by my dislike of her, ‘cuz when I looked at Ashanti’s pics – holy cracktacular! Fun cracktacular, but she beats Lilo HANDS. DOWN.
So I voted for Ashanti.
I voted for THE SLING, only because I think LiLo is mentally ill, and should not be mocked. And I think Ashanti thinks that she looks good in all those hideous get-ups. Girlfriend needs a get-a-grip friend.
i agree with you 100%
Sad how some people think they know enough about a person they’ve never met to diagnose them with a mental illness just because they make mistakes and poor choices! Lindsay might be troubled, but she looks sane to me! Remember, we don’t know her life…
I’m going with Ashanti, though I can understand other people’s decision to vote LiLo. In addition to her other crimes against good taste, wtf with the headbands? Hate.
Look at it this way…if LiLo had worn the Vagina Sling, we would be still be trying to bleach our eyes and all surfaces she was near. Just a dress is not enough…I have to give Ashanti a pass this time.
Oh my god….can you even imagine LiLo in the VAGINA SLING?!?!
There….are…..no…..words…… oh is that the end of the world I see approaching?
Would you guys please hush up before she gets any ideas??!?!!!?!?
Ashanti has a few well-played’s and a few meh’s, which negate the SLING. (sweet mother…. the SLING)
Lilo is always a hot mess from head to toe….. ALWAYS. No contest for me.
I cannot believe Lilo is winning! Her shit is bad, but honestly it’s better than she’s looked in years past. She’s like the Meryl Streep of Fug Madness, getting the award based on lasting memories of years worth of fugliness. Ashanti on the other hand came to win this year. The vagina sling dress will be burned in my memory for life, and how is no one talking about that damn braid randomly draped across her forehead? Doing that to your hair once would be awkward, but she had it in the majority of her looks. She needs a friend to veto her bad decisions.
Im going to volume on this one. While Ashanti’s vag swing is horrible it is just one vag swing where Lindsay is constantly trotting looking horrible.
Plus, that horrible wringly boob busting white and pink satin number kills me every time.
Wow – my brackets are all messed up. I had Ashanti for the win this year! Sigh. Still, I love me some Fug Madness.
Had to go LiLo. Now that she’s back to red hair I hold out hope that someone on her team is sane, but at the very least, get fitted for a bra, girl.
The first dress LiLo is wearing is sort of OK (comparatively speaking) except that you can see her underpants through it. The second outfit looks like a deranged Olson twin.
Very Tough Call. But…Ashanti always looks put together and pretty, even if there is a Vagina Sling in the mix. Lilo always looks like she is hungover and needs a shower.
That’s so true – I just thought it was me showing class prejudice or something awful I should be ashamed of – but yes!
She always looks grubby and like she would smell like dried sweat and dirty hair. What IS that? I’m pretty sure she must bathe regularly…
Add me to the chorus of LiLo votes. She just looks awful head to toe in each of those photos. Vag sling aside, Ashanti actually looks presentable for the most part.
I think it comes down to the fact that LiLo thinks she looks fabulous. She thinks she’s edgy and fierce, but we’re all looking at her and thinking, a) what did she do to her face? b) did she steal that coat? and c) God, remember Mean Girls??? Ashanti looks like she knows her fug is fug and has fun with it.
Bye-bye, vagina sling! I curse the day your made your presence know. Ashanti, I blame you for wearing that dress thus plaguing the English language with the vile term “vagina sling.” Of course your punishment is having visual evidence of your misdeed on the internet forevermore. A long harsh punishment indeed. But you are not match for the fugitude that is LiLo.
Lilo – She wakes up at 8 pm after a drug and alcohol bender involving clipping someone with her vehicle. She picks out an out-of-date outfit that is is ill-fitting and fug off her Hoarders,/i>floor and throws it on her body (without washing it first). She covers her plastic and filler ravaged face, that has the appearance of a drug-addled 45 year old, with make-up then combs out pieces of her hair and weave until it resembles a heavily played with Barbie’s hair and prepares to repeat the previous night’s debauchery. THAT is the definition of FUG! LiLo FTW.
I always prefer the genuine fuggery (as in Lilo and Vanessa Hudgens) to the contrived performance art fug of Gaga, Minaj, etc. Lindsay and Vanessa are really LIVING THE FUG.
I second the motion. Ashanti is appalling, which is why she’s made it to the Elite Eight, but Lilo really thinks she can somehow make a movie again someday and is dressing (she thinks) to get that next role. She is out of touch with reality, but probably not mentally ill, so her wardrobe choices cannot be excused by the insanity defense. And, finally, while the Sling will be enshrined in the GFY Hall of Fame someday, it’s the body of work that counts and here, Lilo delivers her game-busting portfolio.
That should be “The GFY Hall of Shame”!
Guys, the forebraid. THE FOREBRAID.
Totally agree…to me that is the worst part of her look (except for the vagina sling which deserves a spot on the top of the website).
I would really like to see Lilo win the whole thing. Hoping of course that she would take it as a thoroughly disapproving bitchslap from the world.
Depth, people. That’s what I’m going with. Ashanti has some seriously bad outfits – she has a VAGINA SLING ffs – but she only has a few of them. If there was a small, well-contained fire in her closet, she’d wind up able to dress like a normal person and look good. Lindsay Lohan? No such luck. Apparently everything she owns is hideous.
I agree with most of the commenters — gotta go with LiLo on quantity alone. And she had so much potential! Argh, she makes me insane. With the talent and the looks and the opportunities and then she just wasted it all. Mostly by being wasted. Of course in that one picture you can see her mom struggling to catch up so she can also be papped, so it’s not hard to see what went wrong. Now I’m starting to feel bad that I voted for her…
I think this match up for me is the Sophie’s choice of the tournament; the other contests I could live with- but I honestly don’t know what to do with these two.
I know a lot of you think the one Vagina Sling does not a winner make, especially when compared with the true hideousness of LiLo’s wardrobe….but guys Ashanti has managed to wear something that for me is the worst single outfit possibly EVER. And I can’t deny that for this year (not lifetime fug) that could do it.
But LiLo and her boobs of scary, and general disgusting-burn-those-clothes-lest-someone-else-might-accidentally-touch-them aura of fug is also not going to go gently into that good night either.
So after that…I still don’t know how i’m voting. Who knew fug madness could induce such existential torment!
I’m so torn.
The vagina sling was heinous – but seriously – I can’t believe everyone’s giving her a pass on the REST of her wardrobe. It’s cracktacular, I tell you!
Worst single outfit ever? Including the white frilly clown lace jumpsuit of doom?
If you try to judge just the clothes and not her face and hair, Lohan’s clothes are not worse than others worn by people who have already been eliminated.
Ashanti has one super horrific dress and two really bad but the rest is comparatively okay.
A person’s headsuit does contribute and affect the entire fug, though.
You guys, I have to go back and vote again, this time for the Lohan. Camille convinced me with her “small, well contained fire” test.
Since this is a toss up for me I decided the vote would go to the person that would be most offended by winning. Lilo gets my vote.
Did anyone else notice the heinous – ness (is that a word) of Michelle Williams gown next to sitting vagina sling? That’s how potent it is. Lilo is just sloppy and in need of some sanity.. Ashanti is supposedly sane and dress like that.. My vote went to Ashanti. Lilo needs help
LiLo. Her body of fug is far more consistent. While the vag sling is very, very bad, the rest of Ashanti’s stuff is more “meh, I’ve seen worse.”
How is sad-sack beating VAGINA SLING?! IT’S A VAGINA SLING. IT BEATS ANYTHING WHICH DARES CROSS ITS PATH. I AM SO CAPSY RIGHT NOW.
I agree. (Or, I AGREE!)
You must admit that the Vagina Sling fits like a glove. (Perhaps the better phrase might be “fits like a condom”, but you know what I mean). Lilo’s clothes are not only poorly fitted, but wrinkled. Then there’s the shoes, and THEN there’s the almost greenish bleached locks. At least Lilo can excel in something besides breaking America’s collective heart. On she goes.
Ashanti. I mean, (1), Vagina Sling has become an entity unto itself, and (2) I can’t bring myself to kick the mentally ill when they’re down, and LiLo needs Help. Also (3), Vagina Sling is the 2012 answer to Boob Lips, and the thought of that makes me snicker helplessly at my desk.
1st→ Lindsay has never said she’s mentally ill and I don’t think she is, so please, don’t make assumptions!
2nd→ Where has Leona Lewis been this year?
Is there a back view to the vagina sling? Is there a rear hammock? I’m just curious. The dress would be more interesting if the entire back was one block of fabric. (It would also protects chairs and car seats.)
There do not seem to be any back views of the Sling. Either that, or my Safe Search settings can’t go low enough to reveal them. But whoa, Falguni and Shane, the committers of said atrocity, deserve to compete against Stella McCartney for the Design Fugger Gold Award for Assaults Against the Human Form.
LiLo has come out guns blazing all year proclaiming that she’s Turning It Around and she’s going to Win An Oscar one day and she’s All Better Now. AND THIS IS THE WARDROBE SHE PICKED TO ILLUSTRATE THAT.
I don’t think it is quite right to compare obvious “concept” artists like Niki and Gaga ; those two women have their acts together. Love them.
But poor old Keisa and Lohan are pathetic. Why does no one tell Lohan to stop pursing her lips and to stop getting surgery on her face? Keisha is just naturally tacky.
Also- please retire SWINTON to the Hall of fame for BEST DRESSED in the whole world. NO one can compare.
Anyone who wears a dress so disastrous that they have to conceal their nether region when sitting gets my vote!
I can never decide how to vote, not just in individual contests, but in methodology. As miss dove stated above, I have trouble deciding b/w “sad fug” and “exuberant fug.” I mean, most of the time, I go for exuberance: my bracket had a final with Nicki Minaj and Cee Lo. (Oh my god, can you imagine that battle in real life?? So much exuberant fug!) But going through this slideshow, Lindsey’s sad fug is just so much worse than Ashanti. Even with the vagina sling.
Finally Ashanti falls. One terrible dress(?) does not a Lilo-level fugger make.
I seem to remember a few things not pictured here that LiLo wore this year that were actually kinda cute. Maybe I’m going crazy, though. But even just on the evidence alone, Ashanti all the way. I refuse to vote for someone merely on the grounds that her life is a mess. That’s Sad, not Fug.
LiLo…lower than low. Ashanti: heehee!
I couldn’t care less how fug Ashanti is. Lilo will always get my vote for turning her formerly super-cute, red-haired, freckled self into something so hideous and sad.
This was the hardest choice I’ve had to make in life since which adorable kitten should I bring home from the animal shelter. They are both SO SO BAD. Lindsay, with the obvious, sad, hideous fug that nonetheless comes across as smug and cocky? Or Ashanti with the invisible sling-dress that manages to be ugly while simultaneously being so insubstantial it practically doesn’t exist and she has to use her hands to cover her Special Parts so she’s not at risk of being arrested?? Not to mention the hair loop and the other outfits.
I couldn’t in good conscience close my eyes and choose at random, so it was a tough tough dark night of the soul for me. But I ended up going with Ashanti because like others I felt that Lilo is too damaged to mock and too beyond the realm of sanity to get a fair chance. Ashanti on the other hand is capable of good choices, is beautiful and generally has good makeup and a good demeanor, so her fuggery is a rational choice. And that, I cannot let stand.
LiLo was apparently stoned when the Drew Barrymore version of “Grey Gardens” came out, because it looks like she’s auditioning for the part of “Little Edie” Bouvier Beale in that hideous white fur housecoat.
Gotta go LiLo on this. Every single item of clothing looks like it’s been slept in and needs hazmat decontamination. You can almost smell the fug through the intertubez. I sort of feel bad for being so petty, but not bad enough I guess.
There ought to be zip lines all over downtown L.A.
Voted for Lindsay based on the outfits alone… I did not get my feelings involved because I honestly like her and want the best for her! Ashanti looks to me like a bad Janet Jackson impersonator!
I thought this would be close. After flipping through the slides, it was not. Lilo wholeheartedly got my vote. She’s so committed to her Hollywood has-been trash look, it’s almost inspiring.
I actually had pegged Ashanti as this year’s winner, but Lilo’s body of work is just too impressive. I think she has what it takes to emerge the eventual 2012 Victor of All Fug.
Lilo’s going to take it ALL! She is fug from head to toe.
I can’t believe ANYTHING could be a Vagina Sling. ANYTHING. But there it is. *sigh*
damn *beat. Beat a Vagina Sling.