Fug Madness 2011: Final Game Preview


Are you ready to get crazy? Have you been exercising your voting finger? Have you been waking up at night, wondering who is actually going to take this year’s Fug Madness title, and if it’s who you think it is, what will you do with all the money you’ve won in your office pool? Are you prepared for this year’s FINAL GAME? Hope so, because it’s a doozy:

(1) TAYLOR MOMSEN v. (6) MISCHA BARTON

Is this what happens to a girl when her stint on a teen drama goes way south? It is this year. Both Taylor and Mischa sailed into their final games in a walk — er, that’s a confusing transportation metaphor if I ever wrote one, but that’s okay — over majorly tough opponents (Miley Cyrus and Lady “Meat Dress” Gaga, respectively). If I may play Color Commentator for a moment (pretend I’m Seth Davis, my personal longtime favorite. He’s so dreamy!), I think this one could get VERY VERY CLOSE.

Hope you’re ready.

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Comments (21):

  1. Karen
    0

    You know, when I saw the Final Four, I made a bet with myself that these would be the finalists. I should have made a bet with someone else–I could use the money.

    It really is a tribute to the dangers of teen soap acting.

  2. Cecily
    0

    Loving Fug Madness. Stellar final showdown! Unclothed vs. Clueless, I have been saying Momsen will win this thing, but I’m not so sure now. Mischa could take it all home.

  3. burntcopper
    0

    I’m honestly hoping Barton gets it, since it’s sheer cluelessness about what does not suit her over teen rebellion that was tired 20 years ago.

  4. sarrible
    0

    Oh lord. I fear what Ol’ Racoon Vagina is going to do once she wallops poor dead Marissa Cooper.

  5. Miranda
    0

    Nope – Mischa all the way, baby. Momsen does it for attention, Mischa is just has horrific taste.

  6. Sajorina
    0

    I’ve voted for Momsen every time and I’ve never voted for Mischa, so that’s exactly what I’ll do… again!

  7. footie
    0

    I really hope Meesh goes all the way and beats Tmom. I mean really, Tmom is a one note and her fug is the same fugging fug every time. Meesh is a MIRACLE of fug! She can fug gowns, shorts, leggings, jeggings, skirts, hats, bats — she’s practically a Hans Christian Andersen character!

  8. jeannette
    0

    wow, i’m really depressed. momsen, as has been pointed out, is standard issue ca. 1992 goth rock chick, exposing herself as is also standard for the sext generation. nuthin’ fugly about it. barton’s ugly clothes are not fugly, just hideous. there’s a difference.
    i am recusing myself.

  9. granny
    0

    I don’t think either of these are in the spirit of the thing. The spirit of the thing is something like Madonna’s exposed butt on the red carpet.

    Barton will never see a red carpet again in her life, but is it her fault she somehow looks 3 times her age and can’t control her burgeoning thighs?

  10. vandalfan
    0

    Another classic existentialist quandary- the Intentional Fug vs. The Unintentional Fug. Deliberate vs. Clueless. Performance art vs. results of a possible head injury.

  11. luckygirl
    0

    This really should go to Mischa, as Momsen is just playing at being rebellious. But I feel so GUILTY voting for her, as she seems so damn depressed already. When did this fun game turn into an ethical dilemma?? :(

  12. SJ Donovan
    0

    PUH-lease. Momsen is going to dominate this one with her age-inappropriate, comfort defying, can’t-seem-to-figure-out-that-every-teenager-goes-through-this-phase-and-SWEET-JESUS-WHY-IS-SHE-LETTING-SO-MANY-PEOPLE-THOROUGHLY-DOCUMENT-THIS-SHE-IS-GOING-TO-BE-MORTIFIED-WHEN-SHE-LOOKS-BACK-ON-THIS-IN-TEN-YEARS fug. Mischa’s “Oh, I’m NOT famous anymore because I don’t want to be and why are all these photographers following me around I’m just a normal girl with no day job and millions of dollars who USED to star in the most watched teen drama of the 2000s…OH.” fug just isn’t going to be able to measure up.

  13. Suzanne
    0

    Is it odd that I feel a little nervous about the final? This must be what it’s like for my sports-loving husband who blathers on and on about his team and their standings. I have no idea what he’s talking about. Hell, I barely notice he’s talking. I digress.

    In one corner: Youth, “rebellion,” inexperience, bad taste. FUG
    In the other: Mutton dressed as lamb, insanity, faded glory, bad taste. FUG

    Good thing the game is on Monday. I’ll need time to really evaluate the situation. *sigh*

  14. hotpants™
    0

    I think this one’s going to be a tight race. Wow!

  15. Grace Equality Pheiffer
    0

    Mischa for the win. She needs a job. Fug-spokeswoman suits her.

  16. Grace
    0

    I don’t think Momsen is playing at rebellion. I think that in her own way, she’s as clueless as Barton and has no idea that her teen rebellion style has been Done Before. God help us, she thinks she’s original. For that reason (and the truly hideous eye makeup) she’ll get my Fug Madness vote.

  17. Chris
    0

    I thought the problem everyone had with Mischa wasn’t that she was mutton dressed as lamb – it was that she was lamb dressed as mutton, if you will.

    That said, Momsen, because:

    1) As horrible as Mischa was, she hasn’t been relevant to anything since at least 2007.
    2) Even if Momsen is a bit costumey and doing this as a cry for attention: This is a girl (a GIRL! As in NOT OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE!) who wore stripper heels with a tip jar in the platform. UGH.

    On the basis of fashion, Mischa wins, simply because she wears actual clothes. On the basis of how they wear it, you HAVE to give it to Little J, because even though many celebrities have used their XOXOs as fashion accessories, at least they waited until they were 18 to do it.

  18. anny
    0

    MUTTON?? Mischa’s barely 25. To stay with the ruminant-mammal metaphor, let’s say she’s a fine merino done in by the spin cycle and too long in the dryer.

  19. Mel
    0

    Mischa for number 1 fug this year.
    Same old argument from my end – Taylor Momsen knows what she’s doing, meanwhile Mischa is just HORRENDOUS!

  20. Amanda
    0

    YAY! Gaga has been taken down! Either one of them can win… I suspect Momsen will take it, which is fine, but Mischa has my vote.

  21. The Other Molly
    0

    Ah, this is a sad final for me to vote in.
    The Attention Whore vs. The Mentally Unbalanced.
    I almost don’t want to vote.
    I thought people might be kind and just not vote for Mischa.
    She wasn’t even included last year because of the problems in her personal life.
    That hasn’t changed.