Fug Kardashifug


“BE STRAIGHT WITH ME: YOU ARE NOT FEELING THIS EITHER.”

“WHY IS HER LEG SO SHINY? IT’S WEARING MORE OIL THAN A CORNER CHEVRON. THAT SLEEVE IS SOME SUPERNATURALLY HUGE BLOUSON, LIKE SHE THINKS SHE’LL GET HER POPEYE ON. AND I DON’T KNOW WHERE HER EXTENSIONS HAVE GONE, OR WHY SHE PUT THAT HEAD-SUIT ON, BUT REAL TALK: THAT BRAID IS WOEBEGONE. I’M GONNA THROW IT A TELETHON AND HIRE SIMON LE BON AND MAYBE HOWARD-COMMA-RON AND WE’LL CURE THAT SUCKER BEFORE IT WORKS ITS EVIL CON. HELL, IT’S MAKING ME SORRY I PUT MY TROUSERS ON. I COULD BE AT HOME EATING TOAST RIGHT NOW.”

[PHOTO: GETTY]

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Comments (40):

  1. Corriner
    0

    “I COULD BE AT HOME EATING TOAST RIGHT NOW.”

    Just got the best mental image of Kanye in a Hefner-esque robe eating toast. Awesome.

    • Amberoni13
      0

      Really? I would go white wifebeater tank top and some kind of shiny lounge pants that seem possibly made of pleather or the skins of purple unicorns. And slippers.

    • Kit
      0

      Me too!!! Made me snort my Diet Coke. :)

  2. lauren
    0

    um, is her hand blue?

  3. Sandra
    0

    That dress was surely made for Kourtney, wasn’t it? It doesn’t fit Kim in any direction. Great color, though.

  4. stef
    0

    What she is feeling is the huge toe blister! Poor Kimmy!

    • Francesca
      0

      Made me look! And oh gross! It’s a horrible blister. Almost as big as the one on her shoulders, but with possibly more brain matter. Kanye looks quite dapper, but Kim is just getting more QVC every day.

    • Carolyn
      0

      Serves her right for wearing stupid heels around Italy.

  5. LindenLovesFashion
    0

    I dunno…Kimye for me is kinda like my reaction to Bielberlake wedding… I swear, she could dye her whole self blue, dress up in an egg like Lady Gaga, and as long as she’s with the viciously self-important Mr. West, I’m not feelin’ it…or her. Or caring one way or the other…

  6. Lynne
    0

    Weird! Her hand DOES look blue.

    In an ideal world, the celebrity dating tectonic plates would shift causing JLo to date Kanye thereby producing the best GFY post ever. Please universe. Make this happen.

    • jerkygirl
      0

      YES!!! THAT WOULD BE FUGTASTICAL!!! And if we can’t get KanLo, can we please get Kangerfeld? Imagine a Kaiser Karl/Kanye gay love affair as told by the Fug girls???

      Funny, while other people play fantasy football, we’re playing fantasy. . .fugball???Soon we’ll be writing fugfic and organizing a FugCon. :D

  7. Chrissy Cunningham
    0

    there were a few angles that I thought were almost flattering from other pics I saw earlier, and I really liked the color on her. But this swims on her and makes all her bigger areas look even bigger mostly. I haven’t been understanding 99% of her outfits for several week now. Also why insists on looking like nothing fits her

  8. Gine
    0

    Most awkward prom photo ever.

  9. AM
    0

    How do “celebrities” get such shiny skin? I’ve tried (not that shiny) and you either are greasy or my skin just absorbs it. What magic product does it take? Wouldn’t the dreaded shiny pantyhose just be easier? Am I overthinking this? Anywhoo, I like the color of the dress, but yeah, whatever. I’d rather not see them, so there’s that.

    • Siobhán
      0

      How do you know they AREN’T greasy? Coco butter is my guess.

      • Siobhán
        0

        Looking at the full size image, this could just be some shimmery, sparkly powder.

  10. Eliza Bennett
    0

    this picture makes me team Kimye. Only true love could entice Kim to roll out of bed and put on a dress when she’s obviously fighting food poisoning.

  11. Blair
    0

    This is SO the photo for whatever mag does the body language predictions on whether they are headed for a break-up.

  12. pidget
    0

    I love fake Kanye and his (mad) CAPS. Thank you for the giggles!

    And yes, that is some tense body language…

  13. Courtie
    0

    Look at his face.
    He’s effing with her, right? Like he’s telling her she looks awesome in these clothes and then trotting her around and smirking at the cameras.

  14. heron
    0

    the word that comes to mind is “voluminous”.

  15. Lindy
    0

    I never realized Kanye was so short until he started dating wee little Kim, whose clothes seem to be either way too tight or 2 sizes too large.

  16. Jen
    0

    This looks so much like a pair Madame Toussaud’s wax figures to me…

  17. Vandalfan
    0

    Her shoulder pads really do it for me. And the expression on her face.

  18. jerkygirl
    0

    What is that lipstick??? And that crappy braid (so few Hollywood types seem to get braids right)??? And while her dress looks too big, his tux jacket looks a few sizes too small. Either he washed it in hot, or had a few too many burritos tonight. And her hand does look weirdly blue. The more you look at this photo, the weirder it gets!!! GACK

  19. H.C.
    0

    On top (or more accurately, bottom) of everything else, UGH at all that toe cleavage! Just decide if you want open- or closed- toe shoes.

  20. Lola
    0

    HOWARD-COMMA-RON = Genius!!

  21. Amy
    0

    Her dress woul’ve worked if it was sleeveless.

  22. mary lou bethune
    0

    Is there ever going to be enough attention for that woman? She doesn’t look real.

  23. Kate
    0

    Somehow I doubt this is what Anne Shirley meant when she was going on and on about “puffed sleeves”. Also, I heart Matthew Cuthbert.

  24. Lily1214
    0

    Isn’t Kanye a designer? Do you think he designed this nightmare of a gown?

    • Emma
      0

      You’re supposed to put “designer” in quote marks. As in ‘yeah, Kanye is a “designer.” I guess he, uh, “designed” this nightmare of a gown.’

  25. Sajorina
    0

    Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Emma
    0

    She looks huge. And she’s not huge.

  27. Vodka Gimlet
    0

    Just go away.

  28. PinkieBling
    0

    HOWARD-COMMA-RON!!!