Fug In Boots

This just makes me sad.

Obviously, she’s gorgeous from the neck up. But, listen, lady — you have the next sixty years to dress like a depressed widow in an old Italian B-movie. THAT’S A LOT OF YEARS.

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Comments (27):

  1. True_Blue

    “…a depressed widow in an old Italian B-movie”–I love it! Can I steal it?

  2. Jill

    Salma has my condolences. That has to be the reason she wore this.

  3. Lina

    Oh Salma no. You are far too hot for this dress. Please stop borrowing things that don’t suit and/or fit your shape! Bespoke is your friend!

    • LoriK

      I’m too hot for this dress, and I’m not all that hot. There ought to be some criminal penalty for having it anywhere near Salma, let alone having her wear it out of the house.

  4. A.J.

    I didn’t even recognize her! Don’t hide your hotness, Salma!

  5. Faith

    There’s no way that’s Salma Hayek. No friggen way. A woman who happens to look slightly similar to her, maybe. But that CAN’T be her. O_o

  6. theotherjennifer

    OMFG, no way. I didn’t recognize her either… that’s a horror show

  7. Gigi

    I’m usually the first to want her to better wrangle, then mostly hide, her girls, but Salma, baby, I didn’t mean like this!

    There is just too much money between her and her husband for this to have been a valid choice.

  8. Wordphreak

    Oh! So dowdy!

  9. cg

    Are you sure that’s Salma Hayek??

  10. Sandra

    Why does this dress even exist? Nobody would look good in it. We don’t need formal wear for mourning because we don’t go to social events when we’re in mourning.

  11. pidget

    Ew. Horrid harsh makeup (at least in this photo light) and stumpifying wedding-cake layers. NO! I know who’s in there!

  12. fritanga

    Huh. I’d imagined that Michelle Williams would show up at the Oscars in a get-up like this one. I mean, it’s totally her: dull, higher necked, long sleeved, mumsy-ish. But the smokin’ hot Salma? No way.

    I understand, though. Underwire is a bitch and I guess Salma wanted a break.

  13. Caroleena Stantonova

    UH HUH! Now, while your flesh is still dewy and firm–show that stuff off! Who died?!

  14. Fuh Ugh

    She looks like she’s still in costume for Frida – Frida in mourning perhaps?

  15. Ladyblahblah

    Didn’t she marry a a very, very rich guy fairly recently? Could this be what’s behind her transformation into Someone Who Is Not Salma Hayek? I’ve made up a Gossip Girl secondary-plotline-involving-the-older-characters scenario in my head and it’s quite entertaining.

  16. vandalfan

    I thought her husband was older than Nestor, so perhaps he’s dressing her, and applying her makeup and styling her hair, too.

  17. imogen

    There is no way that is Salma Hayek. Truly. I would believe that the photographer can’t tell Mexican women apart, or that she’s Salma’s great aunt looking great at 98 years of age, but I will NOT believe this is Salma Hayek.

  18. Tina

    Even if this is Salma Hayek (which I hope it isn’t) I highly doubt that she is going to live to be 105.

  19. Shiitake

    Maybe it looks better in the dark.

  20. Emma

    I’m not a fan of black lace/chiffon things lined with white. It always looks grey and dingy.

  21. Sajorina

    If she took off the sleeves and let her hair down, it could work! The emerald jewelry is gorgeous and I covet her clutch!

  22. Carol

    You are so right about the Italian widow … she looks like she could be walking behind Michael and Appolonia in Sicily when they were out courting.

  23. Rubee

    Well, call me crazy but I think this dress would have looked better with a wider belt, a livelier makeup, and perhaps a different choice of hair and jewellery… Right now Corpse Bride is all I think of,,,,

  24. yvetterene

    This is not Salma Hayek. A mistake has been made.

  25. anneblushes

    la viuda negra makes an appearance in reality! ay de miii

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