Fug Fugfugfugfug


“YEAH THAT’S RIGHT HAWAII.

“MY GIRL AND I ARE GETTING FRO-YO, AND WE’RE GETTING IT TO GO, YO, ‘CAUSE WE’RE IN HAWAII AND IT’S A HUNDRED DEGREES ABOVE TWENTY BELOW, JOE. WHICH ACTUALLY MEANS I AM CONFUSED ABOUT WHY MY LADY IS WEARING SO MUCH LEATHER. WHY ARE HER SHOES WEARING SOCKS? THEY’RE LIKE A MEAN MAN-MADE POX, A TUBULAR SWEAT-BOX, SO UNLESS SHE’S WILY LIKE A FOX AND GOT HERSELF SOME LEG BOTOX, THEN I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE WALKS WITHOUT HER PORES LEAKING SALT-ROCKS. EXCEPT WAIT. I’M IN LEATHER PANTS, TOO. SO MAYBE SUMMER LEG SAUNAS ARE THE NEW CHERUB RUG. I’M GOING TO SWEAT AWAY TEN POUNDS JUST FROM MAKIN’ MY USUAL ROUNDS AND THEN MY CALVES WILL BE SINEWY MOUNDS AND ONE DAY I’LL RELEASE THE HOUNDS AND YOU’LL BE ALL, ‘THE SEXY? IT IS FOUND,’ AND THEN YOU’LL HEAR THE SOUND OF KRIS HUMPHRIES DOING FIFTY EXTRA PRESSES AT THE GYM WHILE HE CRIES. YES. LET IT BEGIN.”

[PHOTO: FAME/FLYNET]

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Comments (44):

  1. Ty3009
    0

    Win!

    Kim looks like a cheerleader from the Matrix.

  2. Heather
    0

    Seriously, a pleather skirt and leg warmers in Hawai’i???? Omigod, girlfriend is going to be the laughingstock.

  3. Julie M
    0

    It’s an ugly outfit even on the East Coast during the fall. But the rhymes are wonderful.

  4. Shiitake
    0

    The rest of the outfit isn’t a total disaster, but why is she wearing gaiters over high heels?

  5. Kit
    0

    Comedy gold:

    I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE WALKS WITHOUT HER PORES LEAKING SALT-ROCKS

    and

    ONE DAY I’LL RELEASE THE HOUNDS AND YOU’LL BE ALL, ‘THE SEXY? IT IS FOUND

    Are awesome. Thanks for brightening up my yawn-worthy Friday afternoon!

  6. Claire L1
    0

    She’s so pretty….. and such a TOOL. I know that tool isn’t usually used in reference to women….but it fits her so well….

    And aren’t those leather ‘leg warmers’ actually what bikers use to protect their legs from tail pipe burns when they’re wearing regular slacks? ….I think they’re called half chaps….. I remember when I dated a Harley….. a guy who had a Harley and he had some that I got to wear…but they slid up over my shoes.

    Are they on a bike? And if so…. a flippy little skirt on the back of a Hog is NOT a good idea unless you want to have every butterfly on the island to be your new gyno.

    • margaret
      0

      Maybe she is making a political statement about the ramifications of a potential tar sands oil pipeline spill with those chaps. Has nothing to do with Hawaii but politics are national, y’all.

  7. Allison
    0

    Tubular sweat box ftw. Well played.

  8. Remi
    0

    I know we’re supposed to talk about what they’re wearing, so I’ll be off to find a comment section where I can talk about their facial expressions. Probably the same place where I can talk with their facial expressions. And I don’t mean I’ll be having the same facial expressions while talking (this language thing people, it is so far from precise).

  9. Rachael
    0

    WHY DO THEY MATCH ALL THE TIME?! It grosses me right the eff out.

  10. Eliana
    0

    Perfection.

  11. Laura
    0

    Brilliant!

  12. Sandra
    0

    Hawaii, really? It thought it was Jersey Shore’s summer collection.

  13. Annie S.
    0

    ‘Ye is my favorite GFY persona. And as it is currently about 120 degrees above 20 below (ha!) here in Tejas, all that leather is making ME sweat. Gross.

  14. Amy
    0

    My thoughts, in this order:

    1) I’m waiting for the Fug Girls’ new album to drop.

    2) Who dresses like that in Hawaii?

    3) Those shoes/boots (shoots?) are hideous.

    4) I wish these two would go away. Far, far away.

  15. ellenderavenous
    0

    I can’t get away from the fact that her lower legs look like an uncircumcised penis.

  16. Stefanie
    0

    DEAD.

  17. Siobhan
    0

    OMG you are hilarious in your Kanye West disguise!

  18. fritanga
    0

    The ridiculousness of black leather outfits IN HAWAII cannot obfuscate their overarching soullessness. I think they were supposed to be a diversion, but nothing can mitigate her dullness and his insanity.

  19. TieDye64
    0

    Bahaaaaaaaa! Well played, Heather. Brava.

  20. Sarie
    0

    Are we supposed to think they are sole mates or something because they always match?

  21. kat
    0

    How is it possible that the boot cut boot is back?

  22. Sondra
    0

    Fancy farmer muck boots. That’s all I can see. Tractor Supply Couture, y’all.

  23. sisi
    0

    These Kanye-grams are just my absolute favorite.

  24. Krusticle
    0

    Brilliant as always, Heather! I won’t pile on here, but I really want to know how she gets that fab straight shiny hair every time she goes out without turning it into straw. She’s actually a vampire, isn’t she?

  25. Lt
    0

    the shoots are Givinchy, not that it makes them O.K…their website has a frightening selection of them.

    • Claire L1
      0

      $1700 for something that has a 4 inch heel ( that no one can see) yet still gives one cankles and thick calves!
      Gawd….I never knew ugly was so expensive!

  26. giggleswick
    0

    Let it begin. Oh my god. Yes, Please. Let it begin! You are killing me. Salt rocks. Cherub rug. I can’t take any more. You are sublime.

  27. kickassmomnyc
    0

    Gaaah. These people just move from one fabulous vacation spot to another wearing an endless supply of ugly clothing.
    I need a bath after seeing these.

  28. flitzy
    0

    There is no reason for this to exist. And the clothes are stupid too.

  29. vandalfan
    0

    I like … her shirt? But my, his trousers do NOT fit correctly.

  30. treetopbirdy
    0

    you’re a genius

  31. Fashion Up To Date
    0
  32. Art Eclectic
    0

    Really, they are kinda perfect for each other. You have to admit.

    May they have a long life together full of comedy gold outfits.

  33. Spencer
    0

    At “THE SEXY? IT IS FOUND?” I just lost all sanity. I swear I laughed more than is probably needed.

  34. Molly Zwerling O'Byrne
    0

    They are so gross.

  35. me
    0

    Lol that was great! You guys are awesome…these two are not.

  36. Ms. A.
    0

    OH hell no.

  37. Debra
    0

    she just looks like an idiot…but the rhyming is great

  38. Karen Campbell
    0

    I unreservedly love all that you do. I WANT you to lambast Kanye and Kim. I CANNOT do the caps. I get it. But Please Stop Shouting.

  39. danders
    0

    who wrote this and why isn’t she running the country? genius.

  40. Madame X
    0

    Grimace: what my face does at the thought of where the leather ends and the sweat beads begin. Cheesuschrist.