Fug and Fab the Daytime Emmys


The state of daytime soaps is so lamentable — THERE ARE ONLY FOUR LEFT; hug them while you can — that this year, they broadcast the Emmys on… HLN. Yes, the network formerly known as CNN Headline News, or CNN2, or That Place They Put The Newsreaders Who Aren’t Good Enough For Shows Where They Have Fancy TV Monitors And Get To Talk To People.

[Photos: Getty, WENN]

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Comments (55):

  1. jerkygirl
    0

    I love Christian Alfonso’s yellow dress!!! Great commentary on all of them. :)

  2. TaraMisu
    0

    Hahah HLN? Really?

    Excellent commentary as usual :D

  3. marcia
    0

    The Susan Lucci one says to me, “The Daytime Emmys are on HLN and they’ve cancelled my show, but I am STILL EFFING ERICA KANE, SO SUCK IT BITCHES.”

  4. oldrose
    0

    Have to complement you on a the best commentary yet. I am in the office laughing so loud that other people are coming from their cubicles to see what is so funny. Please keep up the good work. you make my day

  5. Kris M
    0

    Rebecca Herbst and her 90s eyebrows are gorgeous! Love the dress!

  6. Other Emily
    0

    They almost all look amazingly bad. I mean, I know the Daytime Emmys are LESS of a big deal, but they’re still Emmys. This turnout is sad. I will say that although I hate Susan Lucci’s dress, girlfriend is looking tight for a lady her age.

    • Ally
      0

      That’s what I was thinking. She wins for having a bangin’ body.

    • Maretha2
      0

      Speaking of tight, it looks like her eyes are now on the sides of her head. And I’m distracted by the bottom of her dress looking like it’s held together with safety pins.

  7. theotherjennifer
    0

    Jacqueline MacInnes Wood looks just like Katie Price! (not a compliment)

    Rachael Ray should be horrified. she looks like she’s going to Bingo.

  8. Vodka Gimlet
    0

    That is one big collection of Fug. There really isn’t a good dress in the lot. Who the hell is the lady at the end with the MAKEUP??? (I don’t watch soap operas). Is that a joke? Or serious? Tell me it is a total in-joke for all soap opera watchers related to her quirkey character because if she left the house for reals with that on…calling Sunset Blvd.

  9. Aria
    0

    I kinda like Crishell’s pink dress, but don’t love the one sleeve. And Hope’s yellow dress is pretty. Kim Matula, whoever she is, looks ok. But I think I might agree, that Lisa Rinna looks the best.

  10. AM
    0

    I have thought Jonathan Jackson is so cute and such a good actor since he first started on GH. (In a motherly or at least, aunt-like) way. I always thought he should be a bigger star because he is so good. But he has a tendency to not dress as handsome as he is. I think a shave and at least a white shirt, and he’d be thumbs way up.

  11. Nebula
    0

    This says to me that although I have not watched a soap in over a decade, I still recognize 98% of these people. What is UP with that? (p.s. Jonathan Jackson, call me! Take a shower first, though.)

  12. Bella
    0

    These women are morphing into some type of daytime alien beings. STOP with the plastic surgery! Melody Scott Thomas may be the worst of them all.

  13. Lynniekae
    0

    -Rinna and Alfonso look the best. I like Sharon Case’s dress and Rebecca’s, but both of them always look dated to me. I wish Sharon would do something with her hair.
    -I like Michelle’s dress, but she looks way orange. I don’t know who could have worn it, but I like it.
    -Laura W didn’t even try. And I can’t stand Gloria, but Chapman is completely channeling her with that look. It’s appropriate.

    I didn’t even know these awards were airing this weekend.

  14. miss_msry
    0

    Does she never age!!

  15. Miranda
    0

    IS THAT A GODDAMN PORCUPINE.

    • Claire L1
      0

      and for some reason ( I think because I can hear the tone, in my head)….this is, by far, my favorite comment!

    • daphne
      0

      (?!)

      superlatively silly, snarky, SMARTfunny pic captions, as usual. and ditto for the comments. this site rocks- it’s better than a secret box of to-be-indulged-in chocolates.. fewer calories and better for one’s health (belly laughs are great stuff).

      Lisa Rinna’s dress may be best, I concur.. but my first thought was, repli-KATE-ing? (War Horse premiere knockout dress)

  16. Claire L1
    0

    Judith Chapman makes me so incredibly happy. I don’t know her, what show she’s on or anything…. and I so want to sit in her dressing room ( which I imagine looks like a sitting room) and sip vodka out of fancy tea cups as she tells me how they’re all out to get her……

    • Laucie
      0

      I gave up most of my soaps before some of you were born, and I hadn’t seen Judith Chapman in a long time, but trust me, she was really beautiful in the 1970′s.

  17. ringthing
    0

    This was ALL hilarious but the three frame unmasking of Judith Chapman almost made me pee from laughter.

  18. EAG46
    0

    Debbie Gibson has a lemur on her head! Why am I so jealous of that?

    • Dazie
      0

      I KNOW. Who said we don’t have cracktacular hat occassions on this side of the Pond?

  19. flitzy
    0

    #4: I don’t care if it’s a slip. I don’t want to see through Wah Wah’s dress.
    #17: Rachel Ray, please get a stylist, you can afford it.
    #20: All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.

  20. Chasmosaur
    0

    I see turbans are still out.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT6Pg5Xf_AE (NSFW language…)

  21. Angela
    0

    OMG Judith Chapman. You are better than this. Pull yourself together, honey. Put down your make-up gun, the one dialled to “clown”.

  22. Amber
    0

    Why are Jack Hanna and Debbie Gibson on the “red carpet” together? Am I missing something?
    There were a couple dresses that were ok, but I much prefer the cracked-out ones. It is the DAYTIME Emmys, after all.
    Also, fantastic commentary once again, Heather. You should win (at the least) an Emmy for making the Daytime Emmys much more entertaining than they actually were (I’m guessing-I didn’t watch).

  23. Elizabeth
    0

    All I want is for someone to hold me and tell me that Erica Kane and Rachael Ray shared a table with the frickin porcupine. Please Jeebus, let that be true.

  24. Sabrina
    0

    Or as I like to call HLN, the news network for dumb people.
    Lisa Rinna really does look great here, and her lips don’t seem so duckish anymore.

  25. vandalfan
    0

    Ouch, kind harsh on Nikki (Reed Foster Bancroft Desalvo Abbot Landers Chow) Newman, I think. But all the ladies have the makeup guns set on eleven and have unleashed the barrage.

  26. Liz
    0

    Why are Melody’s boobs in a tourniquet? WHY?

  27. C
    0

    Some of them strike me as “mutton dressed as lamb”. Where are the stylists helping them? No one needs to look like a maw-maw, but a little more appropriate would be nice.

    • anny
      0

      Soapdish ought to be required viewing for anyone who ever watched a soap.

  28. Struds
    0

    Susan Lucci looks like her cat had a go at her dress on the way out the door. Kristian Alfonso must have a decrepid painting in her attic, because she looks amazing and I know she’s older than me (and boy do I look decrepid).

  29. kickassmomnyc
    0

    I laughed my keister off at this post. Great work.
    Susan Lucci has the best plastic surgery in all of show business.

    • Cranky Old Batt
      0

      Judith Chapman, on the other hand, it absolutely terrifying. May be all age more gracefully.

  30. Cranky Old Batt
    0

    I though Lisa Rinna was the Evil Queen from OUAT.

  31. Sajorina
    0

    Oh, The Schmemmys… What a disaster! Well, Lisa Rinna was FAB and Susan Lucci looked AMAZING when I saw her by accident, while channel surfing, doing the “In Memoriam” part of the show, but since I don’t know who any of those people are, I changed the channel! And, speaking of kitchens, the insufferable Rachael Ray looked like a black refrigerator! FUG!!! This post was AWESOME! Bravo, Heather!

  32. Mara
    0

    Bare legs while wrangling a porcupine. And yet, that’s not the worst decision we’ve seen in this slide show.

  33. deee
    0

    I mus be incoherent from moving because I though they all looked pretty good for the Daytime Emmys on HLN. Lots of boring, some makeup misfires but no blatant fug, no potential hoo-ha alerts and only one who doesn’t have a mirror. Or is apparently too blind to see her reflection.

  34. Aria
    0

    I caught part of Y&R last night on Soapnet, and that’s how some of these folks should’ve looked at the Emmy’s. Phyllis (Michelle Stafford) had on this AWESOME yellow beaded dress, the chick that played Ashley had on a really good dress, Sharon Case had on pretty purple dress, etc. They all should’ve gotten the show’s costumers to dress them!

  35. cstiddy
    0

    There is a LOT of spray tanning going on all up in here. Wow.

  36. maryse
    0

    is it possible that judith chapman was dressed as her character? because her getup had gloria written all over it.

  37. Franziska
    0

    I don’t know half of these people and thought they all look pretty desperate to me. Desperate to stay in this business because younger people are already knocking on the door and therefore they all starve themselves to death and wear frocks that I wouldn’t want to be seen in public in. Sad really.

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  39. exquisite red
    0

    Your commentary is accurate! I haven’t watched the Days in over 15 years, and you’re right, Hope Brady has not aged a damn bit.