Freaky Fug Fri-”Wednes”-day: Hailey Glassman

Today is our last day of posting before we take a Christmas break; we’ll be back on Monday, January 4. But we couldn’t leave you without homework! We’re like those teachers who JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND, except that we actually think this might be a fun way to kill time until the new year if you’re stuck at work. And so:

[Photos: Splash News]

THE SUBJECT: Hailey Glassman, noted ex-paramour of renowned shithead Jon Gosselin, sporting a shirt by famed purveyor of asshat-wear, Ed Hardy (Christian Audigier’s label).

THE VENUE: A “celebrity” girl-on-girl boxing event in Pennsylvania, at which the only celebrity in attendance appeared to be Glassman, who refereed. She’s allegedly dating the promoter, and now there are all these rumors that Jon wants to punch him, and it’s essentially a giant serving of Douche Pudding.
THE CHALLENGE: Everyone enjoys a haiku, so let’s play around with those again. We don’t care if they mention nature, or the season, or the name of a fish, or whatever the standard technical haiku rules are. BUT, there is one caveat: Since we’re announcing the winner in 2010, please include the words “new” and “year” somewhere in your poem. Easy-peasy, right? Surely these photos will give you plenty of inspiration. I know they’re almost certainly inspiring the baby Jesus to skip out on Earth altogether and start again in another galaxy.
THE DEADLINE: 10 p.m. on the night of Sunday, January 3.
Have at it, Fug Nation.
Leave a reply

Comments (399):

  1. mrs o

    New Year’s brings us closer
    To ending her fifteen minutes.
    Begone douchey girl!

  2. Anonymous

    Ed Hardy’s New Line
    Of hooker wrestling gear will
    debut this year. Sad.

  3. Ella Cross

    the ghost of New Year’s 2003

    dressed in PJ’s. Referee?

    douchebag you will always be.

  4. Tara

    New pants tight in all
    the right places. Crotch display?
    Could wear these all year.

  5. Tara

    Resolution for
    the new year– no more J.G.
    So why Ed Hardy?

  6. Tara

    Resolution for
    the new year– no more J.G.
    So why Ed Hardy?

  7. Parsing Nonsense

    New Year same horrors
    Desp’rate ho’s and pointless Uggs
    Apocalypse now?

  8. Minutiae

    Year’s fifteen minutes
    End with new, nobody douche
    Dressing for suck-cess

  9. KW

    I banged Jon this year
    and all I have now is this
    fugly new outfit.

  10. Rah

    New year, new job girl
    Ass-hat man + reffing gigs
    equals desperation.

  11. Christa

    A new look for you!
    Flashdance and Uggs and Lavine!
    Year–so eighty-six

  12. janet

    year ninety-five called
    it wants its pants back but says
    keep those dumb new boots

  13. Kirk

    Straps that cross the back,
    Pants that outline the ass-crack,
    The new year begins.

  14. jodyleek

    Wearing Jon’s Hardy
    discards? Tackiest way to
    “ring” in the New Year.

  15. Kat

    post tiger attack
    van halen sleep-over fail
    next year wear real shoes.

  16. Katie

    No. Just no. I won’t
    Acknowledge this. Let’s make ’10
    A Glassman-free year.

  17. Piglet the Pooh

    Just looking at these
    New pictures, I can smell that
    she’s not washed all year

  18. jane

    sorry, don’t have a haiku

    But is her shirt really tied to her pants at the back? Or worse, is her shirt tied to her pants AND a visible thong?
    I need to know!

  19. Ms. Paige

    Ms. Glassman the twerp,
    is ready to bring the hurt.
    My eyes! It’s her shirt!

  20. Michelle

    The wise men had camels,
    but you have camel toe. Please,
    a new look this year.

    Year of the do rag?
    Even Kate’s new hair looks better than
    this ridiculousness.

    Are those mukluks, or
    did you kill a yeti for
    new fur boots this year?

  21. Gina

    Ed Hardy and Uggs?
    Why did no one slap this girl?
    New Year…Try Harder

  22. Michelle

    Um, clearly, I cannot count out syllables properly, so here is take too

    Wise men had camels,
    but you have camel toe. Please,
    a new look this year.

    Year of the do rag?
    Even Kate’s new spike hair tops
    this ridiculousness.

    Are those mukluks, or
    did you kill a yeti for
    new fur boots this year?

  23. redshoeson

    Advice from LiLo:
    New girl, this year – skip the shirts.
    Wear hole-y bottoms.

  24. Spencer Tracy

    Two for the road:

    Catfight tore my shirt.
    Last year’s sweats don’t hide my thong.
    Need new sugar daddy.

    Next year, I’ll have
    Enough cred for my own show.
    Who’s yer daddy now?

    (and if you think that’s cheating in #2, I learned it from Governor Schwarzenegger so it so counts.)

  25. Danielle B

    Boxing?! Now who wins
    Greatest Douche of the Year prize:
    Glassman or Gosselin?

  26. Sibyl

    Another fame-whore
    jumped up but ordinary.
    And that ain’t boxing.

  27. MN

    The Grinch and Yeti
    Died this year to help some tramp
    Sport ugly new gear

  28. Natasha

    Here’s a solution
    Your New Years resolution –
    Garbage your outfit.

    Ring in the New Year
    With less fashion pollution
    the nation thanks you.

    Fashion Disaster…
    Helpful tip for the New Year
    people CAN see you.

  29. John

    Years of trying have paid off.
    A new child! Spawn of a tee,
    And venetian blinds.

  30. Mo

    You fail at life. Bye.
    No, really. Totally fail.
    Happy New Year, now bye.

    New year, new career:
    Cheap zit-popping, face or back,
    No wait. Orange smear extra.

    Gross? Yeah, but worse.
    This New Years’ resolution:
    Vexing vile vixens.

  31. Saffron

    Hey Tiger, this year,
    I am queen of the douches!
    You are my new king.

  32. Vicki

    Hailey needs a new shirt
    It is cold this time of year
    Furry boots alone don’t suffice

    Boxing: new attempt this year
    Can’t be helped by Ed Hardy gear.
    Fifteen minutes lasted too long

  33. Anonymous

    Referee Hailey, with your Ho (ho ho) boots…
    jump among the players in this chick fight
    and show Kate the real way to a NEW ‘do…
    no pulling of hair necessary,
    just take a little off the (Y)EARS.

  34. HanukahLady

    Those pants need a punch.
    Too bad you’re the referee,
    Drunk before New Year’s.

  35. Anonymous

    What year is it here?
    Because I think Teen Wolf ripped
    Your new douchy shirt.

  36. Anonymous

    Not haiku.

    I have never heard of this woman. Really. And I’ll forget her name in…wait, I already have.

  37. Jilli

    New Year, same story..
    Celebrity wrestling…
    I wish it were fake.

  38. Lori

    Years up, Jon is gone
    No new kids to ruin my lawn
    Got my Hardy on!

  39. narshkite

    Heidi Fleiss knockoff
    This years’ model finds new lows
    Oy her poor parents

  40. narshkite

    Furry ankles and
    camel toe for the new year
    The mark of the douche

  41. Leda

    The front makes me sick
    New “celeb” wrestling next year
    Turn around, more shit

  42. ali

    who needs john gosselin?
    I can wear ed hardy with
    or without that douche!

  43. Dan

    So for the new year,
    Hailey saw cougar town,
    (Not the TV show)

  44. Like the Flower

    Final Catharsis
    Horrid Trends Clash Together
    Fresh Fugs For New Year


    New year, new look, from
    whale tail to doo-rag, boo yah!
    It’s Sasquatch couture.

  46. Alexis

    Folded sweats and Uggs?
    New Year’s resolution: Hire
    Diff’rent stylist, douche.

  47. Nikki Gasparo

    do the math Hailey
    cellulite plus a ripped shirt
    equals new year low

  48. Minutiae

    Since I already submitted my entry, I need to post again and say that I want to send Ronnie James Dio (Dee Snyder will do in a pinch around to slap every poseur ho-douche-jerkbag that feels like flashing the horns makes them look tougher.

  49. Foo

    What new hell is this?
    Sloppy, strappy, stroppy wag
    Hope you’re gone next year

    You point two fingers
    I give you and your clothes one
    From my hand’s center

    (above does not incorporate New Years, but couldn’t resist):)

    Your fug shirt says “kills”
    A New Year’s resolution
    Would be let it die

    Green pants not jeans worn
    PBS is overjoyed
    Blowing New Year’s horns

  50. NoelleeeeA

    Don’t miss, Jonny boy
    Hardy cameltoe on the loose
    Half price till New Year!

  51. Michelle

    Hailey’s New Year plan:
    Win fame in Fug Madness ’10:
    Jon Gosselin runs back

  52. BetsyP

    New Year looking good
    Ass hat replaced by ass crack
    No Jon to punch though

  53. Mandy

    A new year for her,
    another fugged girl for us.
    PLEASE…new clothes or bust!

    Advertising jeers
    In tabloids for the New Year!
    Replacement Kate is here!

    Poor Hailey Glassmen,
    who knows where her class went!
    With Jon in the Hamptons?

    The clothes she borrowed
    Were attacked by masked Zorro.
    The shock and horror!

    Just like Christmas fruit
    Cake, her choice is up for debate.
    A victory for Kate.

  54. KM

    Gods of Fug we pray:
    an end to the real life “stars.”
    …A happy New Year.

  55. jaedalaurez

    Well, what did you really
    Expect from a woman who
    (beeped) Jon Gosselin?
    Jon, Ed, Fuggs, and sweats
    Next year I’ll hug myself like
    Ray Charles and laugh…right?
    Your underwear is
    Showing through your shirt. Don’t think
    Next year will change that.

  56. md0622

    I do not get it
    who tied my shirt to my thong
    Why oh Why Jon G?

  57. Michelle

    Hailey minus Jon
    Attention whore pirate fug
    Disappear this year.

  58. Kdot Tdot

    Wait, these are NOT the
    New “Rock of Love” auditions?
    Damn. Maybe next year.

  59. Kdot Tdot

    Wait, these are NOT the
    New “Rock of Love” auditions?
    Damn. Maybe next year.

  60. AnnieA

    Ed Hardy’s got class
    Lady wrestlers his new muse
    This year: show back fat.

  61. Christa

    Boxing Day this year
    Just cannot come soon enough
    New shirt for her, please!

  62. Michelle

    Gross disgusting foul
    Yuck blech horrible sick eww
    Pathetic NEW YEAR

    May not be clever, but IS heartfelt.

  63. Sarah

    New Year twenty-ten!
    Green pants, fuggly boots, Ed Hard
    The world had enough

  64. Foo

    Two more for the road. (and Merry Christmas to everyone!)

    You have a new title:
    Taste almost as bad in men
    As it is in clothes

    Sheep have New Years wish
    Strangle your ankles in vain
    Recruits spandex help

  65. Foo

    Revise first above. The excitement of coming four day weekend leads to duh. (caught when submitting)

    Your New Years title:
    Taste almost as bad in men
    As it is in clothes

    Happy New Year!

  66. Christine C

    Taste in men and clothes?
    New year outlook not so good,
    Keep reffing, Nanook.

    New year endeavor:
    “Nanook of the North Ring” porn.
    Only option left.

  67. Lina

    Proof that this year
    Reality TV spawned
    A new low. Send actors.

  68. Lina

    (oops, I mixed up the syllables. Let’s try again.)

    Certain proof: this year
    Reality TV spawned
    New low. Send actors.

  69. Carla

    Poor choices Hailey,
    No taste in fashion and men.
    Begone from tabloids!

  70. Icy @ Individual Chic

    So pleased she seems. with
    sartorial elegance
    she greets the New Year.

  71. Tracey M

    Oh, my new year hell.
    What the F is she wearing?
    She looks like a douche.

  72. Melissa

    Jon’s tiger shirt should
    stop mauling other shirts and
    my eyes this New Year.

    Link for reference:

  73. Tracey

    What’s really scary?
    Uggs? Camel toe? Shredded shirt?
    Girlfriend shapes young minds.

  74. Bollywood B.

    She dumped Jon this year.
    So lest you think the shirt’s new
    She left her claw marks.

  75. RAVEN

    If wrestling it should be…
    Go off to the WWE
    Kate Gosselin as your opponent to make us cheer

  76. Sylvia

    Cellulite unsheathed
    Pea-soup sausage-casing girl.
    Fug new year. (My eyes!!)

  77. Emma

    What’s on your back? New
    Year of the Caterpillar?
    I think not, H.G.

  78. terri

    Douche. Douche. Douche-bag. Douche.
    Can it be said enough? No.
    Happy New Year. Douche.

  79. Valerie

    Douchebag wears do-rag
    With visible underwear
    Fugly New Year, y’all!

  80. Lizibet

    “Person” and “outfit”
    I could go all year without.
    So what else is new?

  81. SimplySara

    Oh Hailey, you know
    Ed Hardy attracts douchebags
    Next man has twelve kids?

  82. Simplysara

    Oops, copy-pasted the wrong one.

    Ditch the Ed Hardy,
    And the douchebags won’t find you.
    New year, a new type?

  83. Liz

    thinks girl in headgear:
    chewbacca called, and he says
    he wants his feet back.

  84. JinxtheCat

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year FugGirls. Love you!!

  85. alisha

    I hope next year there is something better than poems, I am useless at these..

    Let’s hope the year is New
    for IQ totals of few
    and ugboots

  86. ElizaGray

    New Ed Hardy Shirt?
    Nah, this is last year’s shredded.
    I got boots wit furrrr!

  87. Belle

    Toe of a camel,
    And the feet of Chewbacca
    Seems you are an Ape.

  88. Daniel

    lets not start new year
    with reverse camel toe or
    fame whores in fuggs. PLEASE!

  89. Anonymous

    A New Year feast of
    Fatback, greens, and backside sleaze
    Will bring you bad luck

    Your pants say so low
    Maybe you can date them too
    After the New Year

  90. Pamela

    Less is more this year
    New concept, Hailey? At least
    Underwear is there

  91. imboden

    homage to eighty-
    seven: Axl, Cher approve.
    new year? new panties!

    (I’m just guessing what that lacy strip on her lower back is … that can’t be part of the shirt, can it?)

  92. Bee

    New Year’s resolution:
    forget that this person was
    ever relevant.

  93. Curtis

    Hardy’s new spokesgirl?
    Gosselin should be ashamed
    for this year’s mistake.

  94. Daisy

    Black lace and cut outs,
    Yours to show: since you put out
    To New Year’s best douche.

  95. nabzisalamb

    eww, all i can say is eww.

  96. Dr. J

    Tight sweatpants reveal
    her New Year’s prospects: “So Low.”
    Mr. Greenjeans weeps.

  97. Paula

    Girl on Girl Boxing?
    Oh, please pull a Mike Tyson,
    And bite off her ear.

  98. Posey

    Jon’s boys sure could swim
    I dodged a New Year’s bullet
    Could’ve been a contender

  99. NessieBird

    Why are you still news?
    Fifteen minutes last a year?
    Douche calendar sucks.

  100. Diane

    This isn’t a haiku or whatever, but is that HER THONG showing on the bottom of that awful shredded mess? ewwwwwww.

  101. NessieBird

    So fashion-forward!
    Ed Hardy and Uggs? How new!
    Next year: trucker hats.

  102. Godfreaj

    This year I’d prefer
    not to see you in the news.
    Can you grant me that?

  103. danielleybelly

    My New Year’s resolve:
    Figure out who this girl is.
    Then quickly forget.

  104. Curtis

    Hardy’s new spokesgirl?
    Jon Gosselin should be ashamed
    for this year’s mistake.

    (Sorry, I put an extra syllable in Gosselin in my head in the first post.)

  105. daisyj

    Thought I knew every
    new celebretard this year.
    Not this one. Thank God.

  106. cat

    ‘Sup Moth#$fuck@s
    Hailey Glassman in da house
    Technical Knockout

  107. Nicole B.

    Kate gave me these clothes,
    to say “no hard feelings, dear”
    i’ll wear them all year.

  108. Giel

    New resolution
    for the next year I will choke,
    Christian Audigier.

  109. mina

    Her thong and her shirt are DEFINITLY connected and it is horrible and very tacky! And she looks like straight up trash!!!!

  110. Gnatalby

    -”Hey Hailey, What’s new?”
    -”Just won this year’s fug title!”
    -”Oh wow, that’s… that’s great.”

  111. Vicky

    Gosselin’s ex-flame
    A famewhoring year for both
    New Year, same idiots.

  112. Gnatalby

    And one for the road….

    Ed Hardy and Uggs, huh?
    That sounds right (at least the UGH)
    Happy New Year, Hales.

  113. bogh

    What else is ‘so low’?
    Relevance and fashion sense
    Try less this new year

  114. Jill

    What a year, Hailey!
    First, love with Jon; now you’re in
    the new Whitesnake vid?!?

  115. Pam B

    Sad green cameltoe
    New stronger douche is needed;
    Tiger free next year?

  116. Jess R

    Oh woe as Hailey
    Should’ve held out for Tiger
    Instead of Goss-douche

  117. Kate

    Um. The referee
    Not wearing black and white stripes
    But Ed Hardy. Um.
    [No 'new' or 'year, but...]

    You should be ashamed.
    Celebrate Happy New Year
    With class, not Ed Hardy.

    Uggs were fifty-five.
    Do rag was eight.
    New sugar daddy?
    [No 'new' or 'year, but...]

    I have a question:
    Last new year resolution
    Do-rags and Jon Gosselin????

    Poor Christian. His new
    Spokesgirl this year is the one
    That banged Jon Gosslin.

  118. Leah

    You need a new shirt.
    Clearly someone has shredded
    yours. It’s not your year.

    Fluffy uggs,brand new
    bandana and scull, this year’s
    Rock of Love tryouts?

    Do you want a new
    mirror? It’s been a rough year
    Hails, you’ve made it worse

  119. Lobelia

    Here’s my New Year’s wish:
    SWINTON takes Hailey shopping.
    Makes her wear caftans.

  120. The Shaver

    OMG! Years of
    Pap flashes! Fug slashed, not torn…
    Joy! Famewhore! New born!

  121. Snowlan

    New low; shirt-shreds show
    Black lace bra and thong – the year’s
    Quintessential douche.

  122. Nickydm

    Maybe if I cared
    about said attention whore…
    Wait. That won’t happen.

  123. Christa

    Shredded shirt and Uggs
    This is what Gosselin does
    To fugly young girls

  124. Jodi

    “Bought new clothes this year.
    New Hardy shirt, Jon will love!
    But Kate saw me first!”

  125. Dan

    “Punch-Out” in real life
    This new year, Hailey Glassman
    competes as King Hippo.

  126. Natalie

    ¿Cómo se dice
    “I spy major camel toe”
    en español, yo?

    Jersey Shore just called
    And so did Rock of Love Bus
    Girlfriend, you’re hired!

    I smell Summer’s Eve
    With a hint of Ed Farty
    Call Hailey, PARTAAAY!!!

  127. Court B

    All I want this year
    No more new quasi-celebs
    Go back to your hole!

  128. Nickydm

    Lately I have thought
    that this year had been bereft
    of fugly skanks…..Nah!

  129. Mary Mac

    Beg: new fame in 2009
    Borrow: hotel basement space
    Steal: year-end clearance

    Priceless: an autobiography of haikus

    And, because one should never underestimate the power of a limerick:

    There once was a gal named Hailey
    Like hobby, she sought her fame daily
    This year she banged Jon
    But he was just pawn
    In dreams of something less frail-ly!

  130. Oblaadee

    I do not have the gift of these awesome haiku poets. These are hilarious!
    I nominate Sylvia @ 3:22 on 12-23-09,
    I laughed till I cried over,
    “pea-soup sausage-casing girl”.
    I LOVE this web site!
    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Fug Girls!!
    Fug Madness is around the corner, yippee!

  131. Someone

    Women’s boxing and
    a half sewn shirt? Who knows
    what the new year brings.

  132. Stacey

    How to win Fight of
    the Year: Lose Jon and find a
    new style to revile.

  133. Stacey

    Yeti boots, cheap clothes.
    If that’s the year’s new trendster–
    She’s down for the count

  134. Stacey

    Boxing Day: Not a
    holiday. But a new fug
    to ring in the year.

  135. linedrawer

    enamored with ego
    new eyes stare beyond cries
    years unanswered plees

  136. witjunkie

    Who are those people

    Who are there watching this crap?

    Next year: Get new life.

  137. cairenmcc

    Brett Michaels called. He
    wants his thong back. New year, old

  138. RenaissanceGrrl

    White clip in back holds
    shirt and sweats together, right?
    Crack whore sans “coin slot”!

  139. Lolatyoutoo

    The next year has come.
    I’ve the same resolution –
    need to get new clothes.

  140. Jill

    New year, new life plan:
    Ditch Jon, perfect time machine-
    ’85 ‘s back, y’all!

  141. Elizabeth

    So sad the new year
    Blooms in shreds upon her back,
    Sighing “Ugh. Just – ugh.”

  142. Cassie

    Nice bra there, sweetie.
    Happy New Years, retinas.
    Looks like Jersey Shore.

  143. Mallory

    we have a new champ
    ed hardy won you the belt
    douchette of the year

    must stop christian audigier
    goal for the new year

    year of ed hardy
    you made douchebag the new black
    this glass is empty

  144. Kat

    Score for you, sad thong.
    You are more distracting than
    Yonder poor pink crotch.

  145. NatalieB (Australia)

    Douche, douche, douche, douche, douche.
    Douche, douche-bag,douche-bag, douche-bag
    Douche, douche, douche, douche, douche.

    Inspired by “terri”

  146. trixie61

    I never ‘new how
    badly the year could end if
    I messed with Sasquatch.

  147. Belinda

    “Famous” for her ex
    She refs a suss red neck sport
    Dressed like trailer trash

  148. smischy

    New Year, please bring her:
    More sense, fewer bandannas?
    Oh, Hailey….Rock On.

  149. Anonymous

    Cat Fight, Shreds Back, Yo!
    New Year, New Job, New Boy, Ho!
    Needs Style, Needs Life, Doh!

  150. Barbie

    I had a dream of
    Hailey fist pumping but, Damn!
    This ain’t Jersey Shore.

  151. Amy N.

    New on the douche scene.
    One year of “doing” J.G.
    Apprentice time done.

    New Years called. It says
    you must leave those horrid pants
    if you want to come.

    New shirt, new shoes, new
    pants are all requirements
    for this douche free year.

    New Year’s reminder:
    Wedgies are bad and shirts should
    not have shredded backs.

    Note to self: New Year’s
    should not include Ed Hardy,
    Ugg boots or J.G.
    Resolution for
    New Year:Dress less like Jersey
    Shore pathetic reject.

  152. Virginia

    This New Year let’s ditch:
    Fame mongers, Uggs, Ed Hardy
    Makes me miss Paris!

  153. Ashlee M.

    Worse than being paid
    to wear Ed Hardy’s new line?
    A year with Jon G.

  154. Jane

    Snow falls. A new start.
    The year to buy a shirt, like you
    weren’t mauled by a bear.

  155. Petrova Fossil

    Gosselin? Grossman? Pledge:
    No more reality shows
    For me this new year.

  156. Hannah Lee

    Ignore this fame whore.
    She’ll be gone in the new year,
    ugly boots and all.

  157. Keaton

    “Like my new undies?”
    Said Hailey, Yeti boots fug
    A year and she’s through

  158. jana

    was it the same knife
    she used on his new mattress
    to make ho couture?

  159. Kalli

    Three entries? Yes!

    1) Glassman, Jon called and
    He said give back his douche-ness
    He’s out for New Years

    2) (Sigh) You exhaust me
    This look is not new! Please just
    Fade away next year

    3) Fashion vixen you
    are not, nor are you “famous.”
    New year? No Glassman!

  160. Gabrielle

    Define a bad year?
    When wrestlers have better taste
    in new clothes than you.

  161. poltergasmurgatorio

    Trash with cash. An old
    New breed, used, again. This year’s
    Rash. An itch? Dont scratch.

  162. mickeyitaliano

    He is taken, you bitches
    This from the new Spring line
    I want her hair style

  163. mickeyitaliano

    What’s those brats name’s again?
    I can see my VH1 show now
    Photoshop all the back fat

  164. claire

    Pennsyltucky’s best
    sporting event is marred by
    a tacky pirate.

  165. Michelle M

    Her pants say, “so low”
    Collective eyes moan, “oh no”
    Lace thong…ripped shirt…*gasp*

  166. CMYK

    hailey glassman, you dis-
    cust the entire world. oh–
    also, “new” and “year”

  167. CMYK

    new fame and old “trends”
    collide in a boxing ring.
    this match? no one wins.

  168. CMYK

    OOPS…here’s a version with “year” in it.

    new fame and year-old
    “trends” collide in boxing ring.
    this match? no one wins.

  169. Bethany

    I need a new shirt
    And these pants are so last year
    Think they’d trade outfits?

  170. TonyG

    When a do-rag is
    the highlight of your outfit
    it’s best to stay home

  171. Cassandra

    White trash chic is the
    New hobo look this year. Hail’s
    rocking the camel.

  172. Lizzie

    I don’t know the format of a haiku poem (even after you’ve explained it to me a few times via this wonderful website), but I DO know that that is one hell of an ugly shirt.

  173. TonyG

    Jon’s fling brings fug to
    new venues mixing boxers
    with year-old do-rags

  174. TonyG

    New rule: Do-rags don’t
    go with boxers. Next year may
    douche-bags try harder.

  175. lizzie

    bra bandana boots.
    you so stupid i cannot
    able write sentence

  176. Shannon

    A douchey year ends
    With one last slice of douche pie
    Newness, bring fresh eyes?

  177. Jen

    This New Year, I bet
    John is glad, he dumped this wench,
    cuz’ Fug! This is bad!

    Nothing new this year,
    Cellulite and stripper tee.
    Fug! You suck at life.

  178. Jen

    Dear Hail: sex with a
    C star doesn’t make you less
    backwoods. Fug New Year!

  179. Marisa

    Not a “New” look for the Homewrecking whore

    as Teachers everywhere shudder in disgust

    the outfit she wears is from “Year’s” past

  180. Tlace

    Famous for what, now?
    Not fashion or subtlety.
    Perhaps this new year.

  181. Cecily

    Sweatpants? Nanook boots?
    Female wrestlers for New Year?
    Pass me the eggnog.

  182. Cecily

    Sweatpants? Nanook boots?
    Female wrestlers for New Year?
    Pass me the eggnog.

  183. snowlan

    New Year’s tip: shredded
    Shirts and pea-green sausage pants
    Flatter nobody.

  184. Mary

    Black lace; camel toe
    Hail’s trashy new D-List threads.
    This year’s all new low.

  185. Cassandra

    I’m done with Jon G.,
    A new year of dignity
    Ed Hardy screams class.

  186. Janine

    The knife cuts my shirt
    Slices your apartment too
    Happy New Year Jon

  187. Amy

    Something old…uggs
    Something new…boyfriend
    Something borrowed…Jon’s shirt
    Something blue…the viewers
    Here’s to the New Year Miss Crotch View!

  188. Cecily

    Bandana, sweats, Uggs
    Ripped Ed Hardy, girl-on-girl
    Oh, Haile no! New Year.

  189. Vanessa

    Hulk Hogan’s new gal
    Will have hair of a year-long
    Bleach bath – but nice try!

  190. Alicia A

    New resolution:
    Become a boxer this year
    Punch her in the fug

  191. Blair

    Thought I’d start the New
    Year with warm thoughts and love for
    Mankind. I was wrong.

  192. Melissa

    Safety strap panties?
    Next year, go get new glasses
    Clearly you’ve gone blind.

    Your Ed Hardy “shirt”
    A true sign of apocalypse
    Next year: new clothes, please.

    Hailes, that shirt hurts me
    But the New Year’s question is:
    Shred JUST the front?

    Breaking the rules, but I feel the need to add:

    Nanook of the North
    Awaits return of his boots
    P.S.: Your shirt sucks.

  193. Melissa

    Resubmitting, since my martini made me lose count:

    Your Ed Hardy “shirt”
    True sign of apocalypse
    Next year: new clothes, please.

    Hailes, that shirt hurts me
    But the New Year’s question is:
    Why shred JUST the front?

  194. morgan

    More of a don’t rag
    You def need a new mirror
    Next year please be gone

  195. Vik

    Honey, Uggs have died.
    Seek a new, bandanna-less way.
    Stay out of wrestling.

    Bereft, you cry out.
    The fight was so difficult,
    That you need a new shirt.

  196. Carla Fran

    Just seven minutes
    In heaven with a werewolf
    New year, help her out.

    This year would make sense
    T’were a new Brett Michaels here
    And not a sad Miss.

  197. Jackie

    Not a haiku, but I noticed there are CHILDREN sitting in the front row of this “celebrity” “event”. For Christ’s sake– does no one think of the children?!?!?!? I weep. And I despair!

  198. shouldstopbutcant

    Where to look, TITLE, ass?
    Hotel Ballrooms weren’t meant for this
    Nor were yoga pants

  199. Tom Fabulous

    You’re a loser, so
    You’re no one – You’re no one, so
    You’re a winter douche

  200. Anna

    This year Hailey ripped
    Her new shirt to make fashion.
    Next year, more cam’ltoe.

  201. Margaux

    Two words for scoring
    Octo-dads and boxing chicks
    Visible undies

  202. La Step

    Saw your new shirt, Hail.
    Too bad Santa didn’t bring
    Some class for you too.

  203. Heidi Volatile

    “Back” is the new black!
    Kerchief, yoga pants in place
    Year old thong is stuck!

  204. Chris

    she seeks fug title
    flaunting flagrant show of uggs
    crotches and back fat

  205. Brittney

    So low? Try new low!
    A hot mess you have become
    Not your year Glassman!

  206. Brittney

    Hailey, if you must
    Show your “new” panties and such
    Make them match this year

  207. Brittney

    Oh, Hailey, what a
    Rough and raunchy year. News flash:
    It’s all wrong, just wrong!

  208. Callahan

    Sunlight through the leaves
    Cloud-shadows cut the mountains
    I can see your bra

  209. mc

    Miss Shredded Shirt Fug
    Last year was Jon’s rock of love.
    Brett’s new groupie?

  210. Jessica Haymond

    New year, old everything.
    Asshat 2010 is born.

  211. vicky

    When a caribou
    Meets a douchebag, coming through
    The rye. Happy New Year?

  212. Suzanne

    Maybe for New Year’s
    She will get a “potholder loom”
    To finish her shirt.

  213. Adam Evans

    I’m hot and I’m cold.
    Hey, I’m wearing sweatpants, but
    Do you like my bra?

  214. EllenS

    Hailey, a new shirt?
    This year’s look is so classy. . .
    I can see your bra.

  215. EllenS

    I wrestle with bears,
    Not this year’s “celebrities.”
    My new shirt proves it.

  216. Cecily

    Hideous green sweats
    ShrEd Hardy top, Uggs, girl fight
    New Year for Hailey.

  217. Emily

    Dear Hailey Glassman,
    This year, let’s try something new:
    Clothing that fits you.

  218. Nietheus

    Short of inspiration and lacking proper english, but here they come!

    Newly dressed? still
    Yearning for attention ends
    Only tangled up

    Hear ye, are you there
    I knew I forgot to do
    Something this morning

    Fug Homewrecker needs
    A New Year resolution
    And maybe styling

    New year new chance for
    Everyone,one condition:
    Do not wear this y’all

    Happy Holidays dear fuggers!

  219. Jen

    New Year and fug-izzle
    I would like to smack the b****
    that cares so little.

    Class is “out of stock”
    For Hail this year. Can’t believe
    The fugg-ic-ity.

  220. Bethany

    Crappy shirt aside
    My new year resolution
    Is to shave my legs

  221. rainy

    who are you hailey?
    confusion wastes my lunch hour
    fame, he knows you not.

  222. Emily

    For the New Year let’s
    do all a favor and ig-
    nore the douche bags more

    Then maybe our New
    Year will be pleasanter than
    It has ever been

    If we stop the com-
    plete perpetuation then
    they may go away
    (for many New Years to come)


    Ed, Hailey (and Jon)
    Disappear with your bad
    clothes and bad choices

  223. Val

    What to wear to ref?
    Douche’s closet dilemma.
    Wear it all! With Uggs.

  224. Marin

    Business in the front.
    Death by Kate’s nails in the back.
    I prefer the back.

  225. Marie

    Hailey shows new class!
    Bandana, bra, Uggs, and ass.
    Same shit, diff’rent year.

  226. q

    Dude. I can see your
    thong through your shirt. How is that
    even possible?

  227. Anonymous

    A new shirt is gleaned
    From depths of Jackass “R” Us
    Year end clearance bin

  228. Anonymous

    sasquatch in winter,
    kills dignity with cameltoe-
    eight babies with claws.

  229. Anonymous

    sasquatch in winter,
    kills dignity with cameltoe-
    eight babies with claws.

  230. Anonymous

    Uggs and Ed Hardy?
    This is nothing new, girlfriend.
    Go all out next year!

  231. emily

    Turquoise pants = koi pond;
    Brown Uggs like forested trees.
    Nature’s bounty: fug.

  232. DuchessKitty

    Mukluks and tight sweats,
    Shredded Ed Hardy, thong-tied
    New Year, but still lame.

  233. akpiercie

    visible undies
    are the least fugly part of
    what you wear. i die.

    Desperate for work but
    Whitesnake-themed yoga? Worse
    idea than Jon

  234. Stephanie

    Shredded shirt horror
    a portrait of pathetic
    New Year’s fashion don’t

  235. Ruthie

    Warhol ghost wowed
    He wants to know how
    You knew your 15 were up

    At The Factory your shirt
    Would nod to the hurt
    JG caused you last year

  236. kemmich

    Year’s best, hyena to gnu…
    Nay – to Wildebeest.

  237. julia

    Last year’s yogawear
    newly razor-slashed, but more
    cul-de-sac than street

  238. Anonymous

    Why do we have to stare at wee wee golden shower bimbo pretend she is IT? Please@ alluring beauty or charm (often with universal sex-appeal) and any Kardashian comparison are oxymoronic.. deviant, selfish human behavior has limitations within their logic utilized by the meaning of glamour girl ad?

  239. beka

    uggs and cameltoe
    not a shirt on my back
    think of the children

  240. Paula

    Your back annoys me
    That you’re back annoys me too
    Don’t come back. Begone.

  241. Allie

    Unfortunate pants, Unsewn shirt, Ugg-ly boots,
    I left the house like this
    realizing I have no real friends.

  242. Anne

    your front was a mess
    but the back was much much worse
    at least no more jon?

  243. karen

    Paula – i bow to you. i aspire!!! -kc

  244. karen

    Paula – i bow to you. i aspire!!! -kc

  245. emily

    A two-fer, with apologies to William Carlos Williams for the second effort….

    Cougar sharpens claws
    On Hailey’s douche-y shirt. Please
    Claw Hailey instead.

    So much depends on
    A douche beside the wrestlers
    Glazed pursuit of fame.

  246. abbyrose

    i saw cameltoe
    and than she turned around and
    it was so much worse

  247. Jackie

    A Happy New Year
    means she disappears so don’t
    call it a comeback.

  248. Theresa

    New year, same story.
    Jilted girl shreds his things. whoops!
    Forgot to move shirt…

  249. overeve

    Fight night in Ugg boots.
    Oh look how high you have climbed.
    Is that a dude’s crotch?

  250. Queen MAB

    Venitian blinds me
    On your rear window of doom.
    Hitchcock up your pants.

  251. Queen MAB

    Pear-shaped Paramour:
    Peel away the polluting
    Pants. They are not green.

  252. Shock&Awe

    Oh, my God. My eyes!
    Not a year could refresh them.
    Her new gear, my pain.

  253. Bridget

    I’d need a year to
    forget that julienned Ed
    Hardy – new brain please.

  254. Sarah Rogers

    White Christmas? White trash.
    A new blind date for K-Fed?
    Not this year, girlfriend.

  255. Sarah Rogers

    A whole new fug for the new decade!
    A sprinkle of Axl, a measure of Kid Rock, and remember to
    Hold the irony! Because trailer park is soooo this year.

  256. Sarah Rogers

    Queen MAB, LOVE the Hitchcock reference. Genius!

  257. Sarah Rogers

    Your fame will die first.
    New year, new PR nightmare: style passes by in sheepskin hearse.

  258. Belinda

    trackpants cameltoe
    lace underwear on display
    too much fug at once

  259. TruCarMa

    Dated Jon; all I
    got was this stupid t-shirt.
    New Year, you owe me.

  260. sugarcreek

    My shirt is slicey,
    but shows bra nicely. This new
    year will be dicey.

    Are my pants still tied
    to my string shirt via my
    thong? Phew. Good new year.

    Happy New Year, Jon!
    My pants are tied to my shirt!
    No ass-crack for you!

  261. Karen

    This year’s been hopeful.
    With that I’ll hope the new one
    is free of this douche.

  262. Jen

    Ed Hardy fame whore.
    Trashy from the front, but then
    Bam! She turns. It’s worse.

  263. TonyG

    Slashing Jon’s new digs
    Quelled not her year-long rage;
    The T-shirt was next.

  264. valerie

    lesson for new year:
    never ever turn your back
    on kate gosselin

  265. Anonymous

    New Year’s goal: show more
    Love handles and camel toe
    Kids in the crowd. Why?

  266. songer

    Kate G., did your hair
    and Hailey’s shirt visit
    the same boxcutter?

  267. Queen MAB

    Is this the Year of
    The Dog, Rat, Pig or Monkey?
    All of them apply.

  268. Kate

    Baaaa Humbug, to this, my eyeballs in Danger!
    Camel toe, Sheep-ish hooves,
    Did she skin the damn Manger?

  269. Kate

    Oops – forget the ‘New Year’:

    Beware this New Year’s sartorial danger!
    Camel Toe, Sheep-ish hooves,
    Did she skin the damn manger?


  270. Cass

    if your new year’s goal
    is to be on Jersey Shore
    lose the pants, boots stay

    Goodbye John and kids,
    New me for the new year:
    Brett Michaels, look out

    the other 2 don’t have “new year” in them, but I couldn’t resist posting them too

    Judging by the crowd
    your fifteen minutes are up
    leave us alone now.

    appropriate shirt?
    Never. Appropriate man?
    even less likely.

  271. snowlan

    New thought: Venetian
    Blind-shirts remain light years
    Away from tasteful.

  272. New_Blair

    This year please resolve
    “New Jersey Shore” fashion wear
    Is down for the count

  273. jill b

    Douchette of the year
    In Ed Hardy, nothing new
    Oh, Hailey, it’s you.

  274. Elvy

    Hailey it’s my hope
    This New Year will prove to you
    pictures do not lie

    Your best accessory
    is not shirt, boots or douche bag
    but a potted plant

  275. Mel

    Uggs? Check! Vile clothes? Check!
    Class? Style? Brains? Can’t have it all …
    Maybe next year, dear

  276. danielleybelly

    The Aught Years’ worst trend:
    New celebrity status
    For any dumb skank.

  277. Sarah

    Last year’s tired boots
    With Ed Hardy’s new mistake.
    Throwin’ the douche hands.

  278. psyche

    hailey, im confused.
    is that bout for new lows in
    trash this year? win’s yours.

  279. Rachel

    rueful sighs, but hope
    for a new year with no more
    hailey, jon or ed

  280. Rachel

    fashion victim, ugh
    a year or two late, at that
    back to “teen wolf,” you

  281. Erin

    Can’t even afford
    a whole top for the new year.
    Epic fame-whore FAIL.

  282. Ren

    Oh dear God–my eyes
    Why would you punnish me so?
    New year, no more!?! please.

  283. Sarah

    A new edit of my last one:

    Last year’s tired boots
    With Audigier’s latest mess.
    Throwin’ the douche hands.

  284. smrfk

    Relentless loser
    Whither thy taste! Damn my eyes!
    Shred not the tee, please.

  285. Bestica

    A haiku trilogy:

    Look Hailey, that’s new!
    some bystanders aren’t laughing
    And pointing at you.

    Fish nets aren’t active
    wear. But… neither are marmots.
    Girl, pull your pants up.

    I don’t think Sisqo
    expected you to take him
    this literally.

  286. smrfk

    oops, edited to conform:

    Whither thy taste, hmm?
    A new year’s request, Hailey;
    Shred not the tee, please.

  287. Sbeetle

    Two. Please forgive:

    Jesus called today
    To gossip on the new year
    Tackiness abounds

    Hailey Glassman: An
    Inspiration to us all
    New year’s disaster

  288. Bestica

    A new edit so it meets the requirements. In word content if not correct usage.

    A haiku trilogy:

    Look Hailey, that’s new!
    some bystanders aren’t laughing
    And pointing at you.

    Fish nets aren’t active
    wear. But… neither are marmots.
    Girl, pull year pants up.

    I don’t think Sisqo
    expected you to take him
    this literally.

  289. Sylvia

    New Years and a cat
    You lost in the back alley
    Now your shirt is wack

  290. shouldstopbutcant

    Y’all, her parents
    are good friends with that outfit
    So shut up, it’s love.

  291. Mel

    New year, new boyfriend?
    Shouldn’t dress like a slob, though
    Jon might get jealous.

  292. Mel

    Year’s best look, hands down
    New take on “casual slob”
    The Sev is jealous

  293. Tira

    Hailey this is sad
    You will not be a celeb
    Just like Speidi dear

  294. Laurie

    We see through the trash
    New year is fresh and easy
    spring clean douche away

  295. Mel

    New award this year:
    “Dreadful Taste in Men AND Clothes”
    Congrats, Miss Glassman!

  296. Josie

    I’m the snake, I take
    on new skin: In the new year
    just shed (or shred) class.

  297. heyjulie

    new fug champion!
    doesn’t show one nipple, yet
    wins Skank of the Year.

  298. heyjulie

    new fug champion!
    doesn’t show one nipple, yet
    wins Skank of the Year

  299. Karen

    Hark-Jersey Shore Grinch!
    Roast Beast got the best of her,

  300. Mel

    My New Year’s promise:
    Try to be more positive.
    At least she wears pants

  301. Nate

    Yeah, the note was real
    I burgled J.G.’s wardrobe
    Happy New Yeeeaaaar, Buoooooy!

  302. Liz Shrimpfest

    hailey’s new ref gig.
    girls in hot pants have more class.
    non-shock of the year.

    how the hell did she
    wear all of this year’s sad trends?
    a new champion.

  303. lane

    Oh, Hailey Glassman
    You make Baby New Year cry
    Baby Jesus, too

  304. Stephanie Skordas

    Poor Hailey Glassman
    New shirt tattered, not Hardy
    Like Jon’s Kateless year

  305. Josie

    I’m the snake, I take
    on new skin: In the new year
    I’ll shed (or shred) class.

    Accidentally, I wore
    my shirt backwards, oops! Will kids
    have nightmares for new year’s?

    Bad taste referee
    each facet gets attention, anew
    this year may end badly.

  306. Tousled Pigtails

    Uggs and yoga pants
    But she IS wearing a bra
    New trend for next year?

  307. SueA

    New way to dress bird.
    Stuff with care under skin. Oops!
    Better luck next year.

  308. Ally L

    Next year, buy new pants
    And stay away from cat fights for
    The sake of your shirts

  309. Amanda F.

    # 1 –
    Uggs, sweats, Ed Hardy,
    Douche-bag bait in full effect
    “Call me, Lohan’s Dad!”

    # 2 –
    Hailey’s shredded shirt –
    ragged shout-out to her last
    shreds of dignity

  310. Natalie

    Look at me, I’m FUG
    This, the new look of the year
    Sole invite: She Wrestling Ref!!

  311. Jules

    Oh, hoochie Hailey,
    Shredders can be dangerous.
    Smackdown for new year!

  312. Sal

    For F’Uggs lang syne, my dears
    pass the booze

  313. Sal

    For F’Uggs lang syne, my dears
    pass the booze

  314. T

    Hailey: “My new year’s res?
    Upgrade from tattered man, John
    to tattered shirt, Ed.”

  315. Audrey

    Ugg. Boxing fashion
    on Hailey Glassman. Hardly
    a stellar new year.

  316. harfang

    Boxing promoter
    May not be year’s best choice for
    Your new Svengali.

  317. Patrick

    The heart kills
    The vagina camel-toes
    And the lady blows

  318. Wenzel

    Oh, Hailey Glasssman.
    Reputation. Ensemble.
    Thoroughly shredded.

  319. Wenzel

    New year fashion deets:
    Texture is the new skank flag.
    Raise it high, Hailey.

  320. JRN

    Psst, Hailey, you need
    a new shirt; it’s a bit torn…
    you like it? Freak. (year)

  321. ACO

    Hailey, this new year
    is going to be better…
    Clearly, for Kate. Duh.

  322. JRN

    Tacky pose, shirt, and
    boots? This new year’s looking bleak;
    Can’t fix “fug” that fast.

  323. JlJ

    A sad day when Ugg
    Boots and doo rag the best part!
    Pugilist pantsuit?

  324. mo

    I can’t remember
    if I cried when I spied her
    trashy togs; Happy

    New Year to them good
    old girls snarking in the face
    of true fashion evil.

    Fug Girls eyes’r dry
    Bye-Bye Ms. Ho’merican Vile
    The Day that style died.

  325. ACO

    This is new, Hailey.
    This year you resolve to be
    tasteless? News flash, that’s not new.

  326. LCG

    Shirt mauled a bear,
    Ugg(ly) boots sprouting white hair,
    Hailey, FUG New Year.

  327. Caroline

    This year you’ve been… here…
    and now your new shirt reads “KILLS”?
    Yep. It’s killing me.

  328. Melissa

    Haiku to Hailey:

    Phoebe Price, Bai Ling?
    Crazy, but funny. Take note:
    This new year: be funny.


    Hailey, new thought:
    This year: if crude, funny TOO.
    Example: Bai Ling.

  329. JRN

    alternate version:

    Psst, Hailey. Your shirt,
    it’s a bit torn. This
    year… wait. That’s on purpose?

  330. Shasha

    New Year Fashion Game:
    FAIL at every clothing choice.
    Congrats girl, you win!!

  331. Lara27tB

    The thesis research would be wanted by some scholars if hold the data about this topic. I guess the this is available to see the thesis writing service that could do this issue.

  332. Shasha

    I’m so sad for her
    Clearly, she’s Legally Blinde.
    New year…Lasik time?

  333. shasha

    ‘UGGs rhymes with FUGGs.’ She
    sighs. For no poem can fix this
    blight before her eyes.

  334. Shasha

    Brett Michaels called. Strange:
    he wants nothing back. And this
    year he vows new looks!

  335. Shasha

    ‘UGGs rhymes with FUGGs.’ She
    sighs. For no poem can cure this
    blight before her eyes.

  336. K

    Really? For Real? No…
    NO, REALLY? No…no…for real?
    Love the thong lasso

    P.S. Happy New Year, although it can’t get any better…for real.

  337. Diane

    Haiku to the wrestling promoter/Hailey’s new alleged hubby:

    What do you see there?
    Your new year’s resolution:
    Date the sleaziest girl???


    If year-old fashions
    reign in this new arena,
    then Hailey wins big!

  338. RKG

    New. Year. There, now I
    can say this: NO NO, Hailey,
    NO NO NO NO, ick.

  339. Annie

    Torn-up shirt, tacky
    boots, sweat pants AND handkerchief?
    New Year, time for change…

  340. JRN

    Oops! Revised version of a revised version:

    Psst, Hailey. Your shirt,
    it’s a bit torn. This year… wait.
    That’s on purpose??

  341. Suzanne

    New Year Resolution:
    If I find it in Snookie’s closet,
    I leave it there.

  342. BrendaH

    Boom’n thighs of Kentucky Fried
    Doomed is Hailey’s new year unless Slayer is touring
    Ramble on to the nearest cliff…

  343. BrendaH

    Boom’n thighs of Kentucky Fried
    Doomed is Hailey’s new year unless Slayer is touring
    Ramble on to the nearest cliff…

  344. Michele

    Like visions of sugarplums
    Freddy Kruger knives dance
    across your douchey back

  345. Allie

    “Hey you. I’m pointin’
    at you! New year, better me.”
    Uh, Hailey… fug start.

  346. Christa

    Jon’s second hand girl
    New year, new look, then a twirl
    Hind view fug unfurled.

  347. Gabrielle

    New year, same drama
    Maybe he tore up her top?
    Can’t explain the rest

  348. Justin C

    Uggs and ugly shirt
    Adorns fug douche -New Years res
    Find some taste in dress

  349. SueA

    Often refs wear stripes,
    but if this is the new look,
    no hockey this year.

  350. Mimi

    Will this year see
    Fame for excellence return,
    And not this? Hope so.

  351. Mimi

    “People of WalMart”
    Poster child, you need a
    New aspiration.

  352. Mimi

    Mine eyes have seen the
    Glory of the coming of
    The Fug – now the tears!

  353. Jocelyn

    Why the do-rag, hoe?
    And the dreaded camel-toe?
    New Year enters? WHOAH!

  354. cynmac

    Flashing fake gang signs
    Did the douchebags organize
    Like the Crips and Bloods?

  355. lula mae

    Hailey, dear child…so
    Lost in your year of shame. Please,
    Begin a new life

    A kind of self rule!
    To wit; front of body clothed.
    Nudity better?

  356. Alli O.

    option 1:

    For years we have thought:
    New fashion: UGGs, hot or not?
    Thanks, Hailey! Guess NOT.

    option 2:

    A D-list type year,
    This new shirt you’ve got here? Please.
    Kate laughs at your sleaze.

  357. Tasca

    From the back, you’d think
    A raunchy sherpa got mauled
    After yoga class.

  358. Anonymous

    Oops! Must edit to comply with the rules!

    Sad news this year as
    cats maul a stripper-sherpa
    exiting the gym.

  359. Badcat

    Despite the New Year
    Crotchtacular ickiness
    Continues to haunt

  360. Audrey

    You’re not seeking fame?
    We goggle at your undies,
    halfway to GaGa.

    Reliable source–
    Victoria’s loudmouth friend
    spilling her secrets.

  361. Callie

    My New Years res is:
    I shall never ever aim
    to look this fugly.


    To “unfug it up”
    you’d need a new shirt, new boots…
    and a year. Or ten.

  362. CMB

    New type of fame-whore
    this year. Almost makes me miss
    Hilton and Geldof.

    Last year introduced
    a whole new type of fame-whore.
    I miss Hilton? Sad.

  363. ATZ

    It’s twenty ten, Yo!
    New decade, new bra, old boots
    Year of the Camel

  364. Emily

    Little Steve Van Zandt
    If he should sport cameltoe
    Would look much like this.

  365. Danielle

    The new bar is set
    when celebs shred shirts for cash
    A sad year begins

  366. poltergasmaturgical

    Fox Socks Box Knocks: Pox.
    Pox on Fox in Socks Who Box.
    Happy New Year! Bye!

  367. internationalfug

    new year, but old rules:
    if you need warm furry boots,
    wear a jacket too.

  368. Rachael

    Ripped thong-shirt? Really?
    Sadly, not your lowest time.
    New year…have some class.

  369. Kimberley

    New-ly shredded plus
    A whisper of polterwang
    Equals douche of the year

  370. Julia

    Plain PA housefrau’s
    new year starts with lame-ass duds.
    Celebrity blows.

  371. Kimberley

    New shirt got mauled, ey?
    Don’t worry, your luck will change
    It’s Year of the Douche

  372. Ellie

    New Year’s Eve Costume,
    Sums up worst trends of noughties,
    Leave them behind dear.

  373. Belle

    Screw Glassman’s outfit,
    Whats up with the massive gloves?
    Giant hand syndrome?

  374. Ellie

    New year, New Hailey,
    Except of course the tan lines,
    Those are here to stay.

    Sartorial Mess,
    Your time is up. Jon’s Motto -
    New year, new girl(s)

  375. Antigone

    ooh la la! c’est mardi?
    whatevs every day ed hardy
    and big hairy fuggs

  376. Persephony

    Upcoming events?
    For Hailey Glassman? Let’s see…
    Monster Truck Rally!

  377. Katura

    New no name chick here,
    Years done, you’re still no one.
    Get out of the frame!

    Those boots, that shirt. yuck.
    Too bad you didn’t get knocked out.
    New Year. New wardrobe. PLEASE.

  378. Tracy

    New Year full of hope
    but Uggs and Ed Hardy still?
    I shall dream no more

  379. Erin

    The Daddy of Eight
    knows that alone is better then
    a New Year with you!

  380. robocop

    Fingertips to Ughs!
    A head-to-toe lady-douche!
    More in New Year? Fugs!

  381. l9h

    Hail a new year was
    The plan but thought wrestlin’ meant
    No snuggies allowed.

    (I wore this mess instead.)

  382. Leslie N.

    Had to screw Gosslein
    and all I got for it was
    a jacked up tee shirt

  383. supervixxn

    Lacy new undies
    year-ning to claw their way out.
    Shirt down for the count.

    Next year’s Christmas wish
    for our new friend Hailey G:
    the rest of the yak.

  384. Melinda

    Is shirt window blinds
    Or is Hailey’s effed up fug
    New fashion this year?

  385. Jessica Sharp

    The Glassman Frumpeth
    Putting the ‘ho’ in hotel, new
    year’s tiger attack.

  386. Jessica

    Oh, your new yeti
    boots should have saved you from that
    Wolverine yearling!

  387. OfficeCandy

    This outfit needs
    A cameltoe
    Your New Year’s resolution, perhaps?

  388. Madamebulldog

    O poor Ed Hardy,
    Bleakware for the middle aged
    And girls old at heart.

  389. AM

    Thought long and hard ’bout
    new year resolutions…
    What would Jon do? This!

  390. Margot

    what new debacle
    is served by this woman here?
    please stay in last year

  391. Leslie Carty

    Girl, that’s not a shirt
    But I guess you don’t know class
    New Year..? No Glassman

  392. Ann Davie

    Nothing new here, Hail,
    Maybe Mike Tyson bit the
    Shirt instead of y’ear.

  393. Queen MAB

    Yeti abuse is
    no way to ring in the gnu
    year. PETA’s on it.

    (as an aside:
    Be assured that I
    Will actually read all
    of your rules next time.)

  394. Pink Lady Paz

    Was with Jon, now Ed.
    Gilrrrrl! What is wrong with your head?
    This year get new duds.

  395. Possum

    A new year brings us
    Camel toe and sweaty crease
    Tiger-eaten shirt

  396. Jane

    This Ed Hardy shirt?
    For the new year, I find I
    prefer Kate’s old hair.

  397. Amy N.

    You’ve killed me slowly
    with your new-ly minted year
    of fame whoring shame.
    New plan for the year:
    Wear more Ed Hardy and try
    to be douchier!
    May I suggest a
    new Hailey for the New Year?
    No Ed Hardy …… EVER!
    New love indeed kills
    slowly but so does a year
    of looking at you.
    Hailey models the
    new year’s look for Jersey Shore
    living. Theme? Skank Bag!

  398. J in Virginia

    Unhappy boxers;
    Sliced Hardy and Uggs make fug,
    not celebrity.

    Famous loser ex,
    and she smells like Doritos.
    New year, new agents.

  399. encomia

    Hailey, New Year, lass!
    But poor Miss Havisham
    Would like her drapes back.