Freaky Fug Friday: The Results


Congrats to all the amazing entries on this week’s entry! Behold the winners of Amy Spalding’s new book The Reece Malcolm List:

THE TASK: Please write an acrostic poem about Elle’s footwear. (A reminder: this is an acrostic poem. If you read horizontally down, the first letter of each line spells something.)

Hey look over there,
It’s Muhammad Elle-Li!
She floats like a cute little butterfly
Stings like a fugly footwear bee


Fanning, thy game plan must be to perplex,
Onward and upward, toward fugly apex!
Our feet hide in fear of each new contraption;
To you orphan footwear flies, seeking adoption.

Thy boots suit neither pioneer nor Jane Austen,
Rally girls from Texas, soccer players in Boston;
And yet you caper and grin wide with glee,
Is it to celebrate a high seed year for thee?
Thomas Jane and Fug Nation share this attitude,
Oh Elle!
Really, we’d prefer your feet nude.


Sweeter times, they were, when
Harold Hill came to town.
I fell for Tommy Djilas, when
Papa – Mayor Shinn — wasn’t around.
Oh wait. That’s a musical, set in the
Oughts. Am I crazy? The
Proof is in these boots that
I bought. (Egads.)