Freaky Fug Friday: Kat Graham

I love you, Kat Graham. This outfit makes me feel like I’m late for Social Studies:

THE SITUATION:  I can’t improve on what our photo service said about this: “Actress and star of ‘The Vampire Diaries’ Kat Graham seen performing with her band ‘The Knocks’ at the opening of the Chilli Beans Sunglasses shop in Los Angeles.” Oh, Kat Graham. Opening a Chilli Beans. I LOVE YOU.

THE TASK:  This outfit is obviously straight out of 1991. Our giveaway is a book that involves magical shenanigans. Please share with us the magical incantation Kat Graham uses to time-travel so elegantly between Today and Back In the Day.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE: We are giving away three advanced copies of Leigh Bardugo’s amazing new book, SHADOW AND BONE,  some awesome Shadow and Bone swag, and — to the best overall entry — one $100 gift certificate to Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics. What’s the book about? Behold:

“Surrounded by enemies, the once-great nation of Ravka has been torn in two by the Shadow Fold, a swath of near impenetrable darkness crawling with monsters who feast on human flesh. Now its fate may rest on the shoulders of one lonely refugee.

Alina Starkov has never been good at anything. But when her regiment is attacked on the Fold and her best friend is brutally injured, Alina reveals a dormant power that saves his life—a power that could be the key to setting her war-ravaged country free. Wrenched from everything she knows, Alina is whisked away to the royal court to be trained as a member of the Grisha, the magical elite led by the mysterious Darkling.

Yet nothing in this lavish world is what it seems. With darkness looming and an entire kingdom depending on her untamed power, Alina will have to confront the secrets of the Grisha…and the secrets of her heart.”

I have read it, and it’s seriously fab. You guys are going to LOVE it. Good luck!

Leave a reply

Comments (87):

  1. Rachel

    Doc Mart-i-um Nirvan-i-o-sa!

  2. Emma

    Ah to the, tick tock and you don’t stop
    Ah to the, tick tock and you don’t quit
    Ah to the, 0-12 Chilli Beans shop
    Then back to, ’91 at the Peach Pit

  3. Care Dawn

    breaking the tomb spell

  4. Rachel

    Gods of flannel, hear my plea
    Power of denim grant to me
    Spandex bike shorts, glitter boobs
    Take me back to ’92
    I’ve made the sacrifice, let me take the plunge
    Send me back to the time of grunge

    (incantation requires the burning of incense, a Troll and a fabric sunflower)

  5. Christine

    Shorts of spandex
    Shirts of plaid
    Take me back to when
    Fashion was bad

  6. Caroleena Stantonova

    knock, knock, knocking on The Fuggers Door
    knock, knock, knocking on The Fuggers Door

  7. Emily

    Hair of Madonna
    Dash of Whitney
    Crazy of Paula
    “Rush, Rush” to 1991
    And when done
    Return to “The Promise of a New Day”

  8. Monica

    Sparkle, shine
    Travel through time.
    Magical brassiere:
    Take me from there to here!
    And don’t forget my jorts.

  9. Cassie

    Tick tok
    Tick tock
    cinnamon bun
    Tick tok
    glamor spun
    Tick tock,

    *waves magical hands in the air and TADA!*

  10. Char

    Give me a bra like Selena
    A shirt like Cobain
    These 2012 fashions
    Are really too plain

    I want the 90s
    To hear Creed on CD
    When everyone’s favorite movie
    was The Craft – but no DVDs

    Send me Doc Martens
    I wanna look fly
    Shorts like Kelly Taylor
    Bring me back to 1995

  11. Sandra

    Eeny, meeny, miny, mo
    Catch an era by the toe
    When it hollers I will go
    With teeny, tiny clothes a-glow

  12. Marie

    I want to reach out and grab ya
    Every time the 90s call my name
    I heat up like a flannel flame
    Flannel flame of spandex desire
    Kiss me baby, let the boots get higher!!

    (To the tune of Abracadabra by Steve Miller)

    • vandalfan

      I think the Flannel Flames of Spandex would be a great name for a band.

  13. foo

    A sprinkle of Demi’s fiasco
    The twinkle of Victoria’s Secret

    A wrinkle in the fabric of time
    and the shorts barely covering
    my behind

    Take me to Nirvana
    For I wear the shirt

    Take me back years past
    Back to your (Oliver) Peoples
    Over the mosh pit
    and below the PM Dawn
    Take me back to the 90s
    where I obviously belong

  14. Michelle

    Flannel plaid and combat boots,
    Manic Panic, greasy roots.
    Eddie Vedder, Curt Cobain,
    Back to ’93 again.

  15. Cherry

    Eye of newt
    And bra of glitter
    Slivy thoves
    And boots so bitter
    Come to me, oh sprite of yore
    Ye spandex pants!
    Ye teens so bored!
    Call me, woo me
    Stop me then
    To 93, and back again!

  16. Jenny from the Block

    Place the following contents in a cauldron reciting:

    *Double, trouble flannel shirt;
    Acid-jeans burn, and bubble yum;
    MC Hammer pants, and a tie-dye skirt
    In the cauldron you go with my trapper keeper;
    Bright Pink Scrunchie, and stir-up pants;
    Slap bracelets, and banana clips;
    A velvet dress and fish-net leggings,
    While holding onto my cherry gloss lip smacker
    Send me back to the time of the walkman
    With the wrath of Amanda Woodward

    * Slightly Adapted from Macbeth

  17. Arielle

    I was only 2 in ’91
    but why should I miss out on the fashion fun?

    Distract any vamps with my glitter boobs;
    Lace up my Docs instead of fancy Loubs.

    Time travelin’s no joke; denim cut-offs aren’t enough,
    got my bike shorts on if things get rough.

    Spirit of Blossom, Donna Martin, and even Cobain,
    with your mystic guidance I’ll make your fashion remain.

  18. kristin

    The past is calling.
    Hey Kat! Can you hear it?
    The days I was Like a Virgin
    and I Smelled like Teen Spirit.

    Back to the time
    we were a Rhythm Nation.
    The past so long ago
    when sex tapes required persuasion.

  19. Ingrid

    Como la flor
    for Selena’s top
    Demi Moore
    for the spandex pop
    Smells like teen spirit
    for Nirvana’s grunge
    Doc Martens and jorts
    complete my 90′s plunge

  20. Genny

    Tick Tock
    Cheat the clock
    I’m appearing with The Knocks
    Retro Rockers
    Beaded Knockers
    To a spot for shopping gawkers
    I have a date with destiny
    So whisk me out of Ninety Three
    Doc Martins and grunge gear may stay
    For with The Knocks I’m due to play
    Now make haste to that shopping scene
    To entertain excited tweens

  21. Sarah

    Chili, chili, chili beans,
    Take me back to the time of cut-off jeans!
    Bright blue eye shadow out of control,
    Me and my docs gonna go for a stroll!

    Chili, chili, chili beans,
    Put your graffiti on me, please!
    Send me in flannel back to decade nine;
    Edward’s chest never glittered like mine!

  22. chipwitch

    Leggings, denim daisy dukes,
    Spangled bra, and grunge:
    Before I tie my combat boots
    Take me to ‘91

  23. Danielle Nicole

    double bottoms, naught on top
    take me back in a lug soled hop
    to years gone by and trends deceased
    when dresses were babydoll and chinos creased.
    I must make amends, right serious wrongs
    in the innocent days before Sisqo loved thongs
    before the bonds of Hole Courtney love does sever
    to advise Johnny Depp against “Winona Forever”

  24. Julia

    Plaid and rouge, one Crawford brow,
    filmic poster of The Crow;

    teenage spirits, heart of synth-
    etic bike shorts, acid rinse;

    strained through combat boots unlaced
    folds the fabric of time and space!

    I bare my midriff and incant!
    Who says bike shorts are not pants!

    Bear me back by Chute or Ladder
    to the rosy days of denim tatter!

  25. Emily

    Present fashion is not for me
    The early nineties is where I should be
    These items I conjure will set me free!

    A flannel shirt to banish chills
    A sparkly bra to pay the bills
    Bike shorts under daisy dukes I shall wear
    Doc Martins to keep my feet from being bare

    Micheal J. Fox I pray to thee
    As I will, so mote it be

  26. Stefanie

    Combat boots and crop tops
    Operation Desert Storm kick off

    Brenda gets de-flowered
    Emily Valentine gets empowered

    Take me back to when Pearl Jam had it right
    Take be back to 1991 TONIGHT!


  27. Cherry

    (Verse 2)

    Brenda Walsh
    Celine Dion
    Vogueing to
    Madonna’s song
    Titanic, Braveheart, Lion King
    Oh Macarena
    Come and bring
    Me back to grunge!
    And heroine chic!
    Now slick my hair
    And nude my cheek
    And call me, woo me
    Pull me then
    To 93, and back again!

  28. Erin

    Bra of bling and shirt of plaid,
    Who said they were just a fad?
    Combat boots and biker shorts
    To ’95 I must transport.
    As always, and if nothing more, my face is ever flawless…
    A perfect 90s mix of Kurt Cobain and Lucy Lawless!

  29. Alderene

    Pearl Jammicus, Maddonacus, Spin Classicus

  30. Christina (A Reader

    Backstreet’s back alright
    Or they will be this night
    Once my spell takes hold
    This outfit will be gold
    Bra sprinkled in fairy dust
    Take me back, you must
    To the time when bellies were bare
    Oh hey, look, I’m there.

  31. c

    Avada Nirvana!

  32. Debbie

    Goddesses past, present, future and fey
    Carry me forward to the time and the day
    When my magnificence will be maligned as fug

  33. Piglet the Pooh

    Bullwinkle: Eenie Meenie Chili Beanie, the spirts are about to speak!

    Rocky: Are they friendly spirits?

    Bullwinkle: Apparently not

  34. Sarah M.

    Ya Odinakovost my bra; ya Otovost my bra–
    Moi Soverennyi: What would Genya say?

    [ps: OBVS she's all like, what up, Darkling, COME AND GET IT. sad she doesn't know any better.]

  35. Meg B

    Double, double, sparkle and bubble
    take me back to a time less troubled
    Where Brenda reigned and flannel was fun
    And a glitter bra was not considered overdone
    Allow my thighs to be encased in spandex
    And prevent those fug girls from casting a hex
    For combat boots are not just for the Army
    As I will so mote it be

  36. Mags

    Two Gin Blossoms, an eye of Kurt,
    Pairs of shorts so tight they hurt,
    Bedazzled boobs in dire straits,
    A doorway to beyond awaits,
    A borrowed flannel, combat boots,
    Protection from all dark disputes,
    Because when the beasties come out to play,
    They’ll turn back screaming “Like… what a total Monet!”

  37. christine christine

    Yeah, good luck finding a winner out of these CRAMAZING entries! Can you have a 56-way tie??

  38. sarahaha

    Shirt of Cobain, Boots of Doc,
    By your power, turn back the clock.
    Bra of Xtina, voice of shrill,
    I am Kat Graham, you know the drill!

  39. Hallie

    You are so precious to me.
    Am I precious to you?
    Gods of fashion take me back
    To circa 1992.

    Clad me in a flannel shirt
    And shorts both jean and bike
    Dr. Martens and a bra
    Festooned with glittery spikes.

    And when one and all
    Sees my 90s look,
    They will exclaim, heartily,
    “Whoa, what the fook?”

  40. Angela

    By the power of Janet, I go back fastly
    To pretend that I’m her, Miss Jackson if you’re nasty

  41. Michelle

    Oh mother Leia, hear my plea
    Ask father Kurt to watch over me
    For as I plaidly bedazzle from port to stern
    You can see, I’ve a lot to learn.
    Accept me Past, a Madonna faux
    Accept me Present, with bod of WHOA
    Accept me Future, as I fly to thee
    Losing my pant-less virginity.

  42. Becca

    Goddess of Plaid, Goddess of Plaid,
    My boots are of combat,
    My shorts are of bicycle,
    I call on you to make me rad!

    Goddess of Rhinestones and Tacky,
    Hear my music of grunge,
    See my tape of Singles,
    I just want to be wild and wacky!

  43. Fug de los Muertos

    Flannel, spandex, and The Craft,
    Kurt Cobain and Rayanne Graff;
    Studded bra’s bewitching you,
    Send me back to ’92!

  44. Adrasteia

    Double, double
    toil and trouble
    Bike shorts burn
    on bustier’s rubble

    Whither socks?
    ye lass adrift
    glittering rocks
    strapped to midriff

    Vedder’s flannel
    twixt high and low
    eye shadow glow

    Send me now
    from ’90s scene
    to accessories hell
    sweet Chilli Bean

  45. Lindsey

    Yo Vanilla! Let’s kick it!

    Alright stop!
    Collaborate and listen!
    In the Willennium I wanna start chillin’
    With Cobain, Axl and Vedder
    Gonna audition for a video with Hammer
    Flannel, jorts, and spandex?
    I think so
    Get me to a mall, so I can go
    Into the past for some Good Vibrations
    Peace out 2012, it’s time for the 90s
    Time travel baby, Kat Graham
    Time travels baby

  46. Maura

    Oh great witch of the 90s Melissa Joan Hart
    Send me back to the days of Lisa Frank Art!
    Make me an outfit that would be proper,
    Had Angela Chase been a sparkly street walker.

  47. Nora

    Oh, unholy goddess of jortex,
    Speed me to my cause!
    Around my breasts create the vortex–
    a wormhole of a bra.
    Consecrate my 90s journey
    with tunes by Right Said Fred,
    and while you’re at it, please warn Lindsay
    to stop while she’s ahead.

  48. TonyG

    Flatten my boobs
    in a bra by Madonna
    Drape me a grunge shirt
    by Courtney’s Cobain

    Conjure daisy dukes
    J-Simps would have on her
    Summon me stretch lycra
    Evoke Tae-Bo crotch pain

    Bewitch me in boots
    [K]rafted by Neve Campbell
    Prithee make it real
    This fug fashion spell
    For one should never outlive
    1990s sartorial hell

  49. AshleyKay

    Shiny bra top of ill fit
    to 91′ on a whirlwind trip!
    (substitute 2012 (said:twenty-twelve) for 91′ for the return trip)

  50. Miranda

    Flannel booty cape – check!
    Ready to straddle the saddle
    of my ever so magical
    time travelin’
    exercise bike
    If I take a tumble never fear
    for my bra is like armor
    with it for protection I can shed no tear
    So to the glorious ’90s I steer!

  51. Jenny Samson

    “Show me the fugly!”

  52. Allie

    Hail spirits of a decade past
    Entreat thee with this spell I cast…

    Transport me to that dawn of days
    When plaid and jorts were all the rage,

    When Docs-not Crocs- adorned our feet
    And bike shorts made the look complete.

    In glitz and wire, my boobs encased
    My shirt wrapped tightly ’round my waist

    Transport me back through time and space
    And leave me there on Melrose Place

    And if one wish you’ll grant to me?
    Give me the body of Demi

    For should I land in fashion hell,
    At least that way I’ll wear it well

    O Kurt! Selena! JonBenet!
    Princess Di and JFK!

    I beg thee, when the stars align,
    To my pager send the sign

    For though it may well be a sin,
    I long to wear these clothes again!

  53. robin

    I dreamed a dream in time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living.
    I dreamed that ;love would never die. I dreamed that God would be forgiving.

  54. Kitten

    Aiming for 1994, take me to a time of Doc Martens and flannel shirts,
    but the dash of C & C Music Factory with the bra,
    and hint of Paula Abdul with the hair and the makeup!
    Oh no!
    Shoot, like with all of Bonnie’s magic, I’ve screwed up and landed in 1991!

  55. NumberSix

    Gods of nostalgia, please transport me back
    To giant cell phones and (squee!) Zack Attack

    When Hilary Banks spent cash like an heiress
    And we questioned the age of Gabrielle Carteris

    I need Hypercolor shirts in neon green
    And Dylan McKay’s answering machine

    Give me grungy plaid flannel on which to rest my head
    And I won’t tell mom the babysitter’s dead.

    The incantations are done, man.

  56. G

    Bippity Boppity Boobs

  57. LMM

    Step One: Spandex, ooh, that’s tight, hon.
    Step Two: Cutoffs over that, cameltoe, ooh.
    Step Three: Untied Docs will set me free!
    Step Four: Sparkly bra can give you more.
    Step Five: Knotted flannel makes the 90s alive.

  58. dee cee

    White out around the eyes.. sheese..

  59. Ann

    Oh fug goddess Paula, of ’91 fame;
    Straight up I tell you: present fashions are lame!
    Take me back to the flannel of the Kurt Cobain lad,
    And a face full of makeup to Color Me Badd.
    Spandex shorts under denim is what I need, please -
    I’ll call one layer “Thelma” and the other “Louise!”
    Let starlets today keep Manolos and Choos
    Take me back to Doc Martin’s, and no socks with your shoes!
    And before J. Lo. Hew made rhinestones too raw,
    Take me back to when bedazzling was just for your bra.

  60. Kaylie

    “I am tight
    I am one too dope for sight
    Go back to dark days where flanneled shadows dwell
    Return this Katerina Graham Bell
    Across time and space
    And I, Goddess of Grunge, reign!”
    *insert witchy cackling here*

  61. suea

    Eye of newt, wing of bat,
    Want to be a cool cat,
    No, no, not that far back!
    (Shit, when am I now?)

  62. A.

    (to the tune of “Love Potion Number Nine”)

    I loved the fashion back in ’92
    Back then the midriff look was tried and true
    Plaid could be mixed in with almost all designs
    But that party ended, and so did ’99.

    Back then my combat boots were stylin’ kicks
    And biker shorts were cool in all the cliques
    In acid-washed denim, I knew that I looked fine
    And in my bejeweled bra- the girls could really shine.

    Around school in knee highs, the prep crowd would slink,
    While into the grunge look the hipsters did sink,
    Kate Moss pushed heroin chic over the brink,
    Then stirrup pants, and topsy tails, went out in a blink.

    Those Aaron Spelling kids sure had it right;
    And all the Spice Girls really kept it tight.
    I wish I could go back and make Cher’s closet mine
    As if! That look’s over, and so is ’99.

  63. TonyG

    Amazing post Allie! Loved, loved, loved it!

  64. vandalfan

    (Dang, but there are some clever, witty commenters here! I tip my hat to y’all!)

  65. G E

    Grunge Goddess of Rodeo Drive
    Transport me back from Ninety Five
    Bra of bling and combat boots
    Performing for the teenaged troops
    Those vampire lovin’ little teens
    Are waiting there at Chili Beans
    To glimpse my grungy cut off jeans
    And learn what retro rockin’ means

  66. Caroline

    Transportari me ad tempus Carus Horowitz primum edidit verba ‘ut si’.
    (That’s Latin for “Transport me to the time Cher Horowitz first uttered the words ‘as if’.”)

  67. Rebecca

    Bauble… bauble…
    The top’s in trouble.
    It makes short shorts over bike shorts
    Look comparatively subtle.

  68. Catherine

    Oh, my “Friends” of Fashion Past,
    The 1990s are still unsurpassed,
    Thus my soul I shall gladly give to you
    Even if it leaves my posture askew.

    So I pray for a midriff for the world to see
    And a bra that flattens ever so waifishly,
    “Hit me, Baby, One More Time” with Soundgarden grunge,
    For the present fashion trends I simply MUST expunge.

    Next, a plaid shirt and Docs will do just fine,
    Or maybe a white dress by Calvin Klein.
    Next, biker spandex is an absolute must
    For in Kelly Kapowski and Demi I trust.
    Denim shorts will complete the look for me,
    That is, to look like Pretty Woman– before the shopping spree.

  69. L

    Like, whatever, nevermind,
    Take me back in place and time,
    Come on dudes, it’s time to party,
    I got my boots, I’m lookin’ gnarly,
    Angela Chase, eat your heart out,
    To the 90s, right now or I’ll pout,
    We need to go quick or my boob will fall out

  70. TonyG

    [A tweak of my entry's rhythm, rhymes, spelling, and, its ending. Here goes...]

    Flatten my boobs
    in bra by Madonna
    Conjure daisy dukes
    J-Simps would have on her

    Drape me in grunge
    by Courtney’s Cobain
    Summon stretch Lycra
    Evoke Tae-Bo pain

    Bewitch me boots
    by The Craft’s Neve Campbell
    Invoke fashion hell
    With this Vanilla Ice sample:

    fuh fuh fuh… fa-fa-fa FUG!
    fuh fuh fuh… fa-fa-fa FUG!


  71. Hattara

    I wish I may, I wish I might
    Travel back in time with my knockers made of light

  72. Edith

    With the lights on, it’s more heinous!
    Here we are now, Kurt Cobain us!
    Spiky Rhinestones, faux-outrageous!
    Double shorts seemed adventageous!

    Breast Torpedo!
    Doctor Martens!
    Chili Beans-o!

    And I forget all sense of taste
    Tie grunge flannel around my waist
    This time-travel has left me blind,
    Oh well, whatever, nevermind….

  73. Suzy Vitello

    Shimmer, glimmer, make me dimmer
    take me back to times a-trimmer

    Bite me not upon the neck
    but chain me to my casette deck

    My eyes are kohl, my boobs are porn,
    though in ’91, I was barely born

  74. hannah

    I call on Nineteen Ninety 0ne
    To pull my flannel shirt undone
    I summon up the spirit Xena
    to make this bra a real gleamer
    I invoke mighty Kurt Cobain
    to make this denim match my shame
    (The combat boots? I’ve no idea,
    and nothing for the lycra either.)

  75. yeahandalso

    Glittering boobs
    and combat boots
    shorts of spandex and jean

    Send me through time
    so I may find
    the flannel that I need

    I adore…mi amor
    I adore…mi amor
    I adore…mi amor

  76. yeahandalso

    Sidebar how is Bonnie THAT FREAKING BORING ALL THE TIME when this is the girl who plays her?

  77. Courtney

    In perfect love and perfect trust,
    I recreate my spangatcular bust.

    To the east and to the north,
    I bring my healer’s boots and spandex forth

    From the south and to the west,
    My flannel and jorts manifest.

    Mother earth as strong as our sun,
    Now dress me in ninety ninety one!