Freaky Fug Friday: Kardashian Edition


freaky-fug-friday

Well, what do YOU wear bowling?!

THE SITUATION:  No, seriously. Kim Kardashian is seriously wearing this bowling. All I know is, I hope she has socks in her bag.

THE TASK: Given our awesome prize this week — more on that below — and the fact that Kim Kardashian a) clearly believes herself to be the star of a Great Romance, given the Dramatic Trappings of her insanely over-the-top wedding and b) she’s wearing pants a pirate would feel comfortable sporting whilst out trolling for wenches, paired with a shirt that appears to involve crinoline, please provide us with the title of the romance novel she is probably currently writing about herself. You KNOW this book is coming, you guys. Don’t be in denial.

THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments of this post by 9 p.m. Pacific time on Sunday.

THE PRIZE: This is a good one! Sarah Wendell, of Smart Bitches, Trashy Books (one of our favorite sites) has penned Everything I Know About Love, I Learned From Romance Novels. Amazon says, “Take a dashing hero with a heart of gold and a mullet of awesome. Add a heroine with a bustle and the will to kick major butt. Then include enough contrivances to keep them fighting while getting them alone and possibly without key pieces of clothing, and what do you have? A romance novel…Straight from the heart of influential romance blogger Sarah Wendell, this inventive gift book provides the best wisdom about love that the romance genre has to offer.” Having read it, I can tell you that the book is totally cheeky and charming and I think you will like it, especially if you’re a fan of Ye Olde Bodice Ripper (who isn’t?).  Five of you (five!) with the best entries will win a copy! So get to work.

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Comments (176):

  1. Dana
    0

    “Marriage of Konvenience”

  2. Winona (not Ryder)
    0

    Leather, Louboutins and Lashes

  3. phoenixbeth
    0

    Leather & Lace: A Pirate’s Romance

  4. Jill Raleigh
    0

    Kim “The Dud” Lebowski

  5. Mongerel
    0

    Booty Being

  6. Anne
    0

    Demimondaine Derriere

  7. Stefanie
    0

    Jumpsuits and Camera Crews: An Unlikely Love Story

  8. Mouse
    0

    “Bodice Ripped: A sordid look at life after the media prostitution of a celebrity wedding”.

  9. Elizabeth
    0

    “The Rear-End of Innocence” (a cheeky romp through the classics)

  10. Katharine
    0

    “The Kaptain’s Forbidden Pirate Miss(take)”

  11. Alyssa Smith
    0

    “The Bowling Booty: The Tale of Strikes, Balls and Loubs.”

  12. Heidi
    0

    Kardashian Passion

  13. Heidi
    0

    Or alternatively, The Passion of the Kardashian

  14. Meghan
    0

    The Karibbean Korsair’s Kourtesan: Kourting Kamille

  15. The Moonay
    0

    My So Kalled Life

    Leathered Up

    Kissed By A Kardashian

  16. Andrea
    0

    Konquered by the Pirate’s Passion

  17. Catharine
    0

    Fifteen Minute Flame

  18. TG
    0

    Katch-22: How I Kaptured the Hearts of Twenty-Two Men

  19. Strunkette
    0

    The Booty Lover’s Armenian Beauty

  20. Abby
    0

    Plunder Me, Bukkaneer!

  21. Abby
    0

    Yo, Ho, Blow the Man Down

  22. Abby
    0

    Walking His Plank

  23. Abby
    0

    Mistress of the High Seas (Book One: Quest for Booty)

  24. Abby
    0

    Ahor, Ye Mateys!

  25. currygirl
    0

    He Loves Me Knot: the True Story between Me and My Kredit Kard

  26. Adam
    0

    S.S. Kaptive Booty: Bowled Over On The High Seas Of Love

  27. Julia
    0

    Overexposure of the Righteous Minx
    or
    The Paparazzo’s Fervid Viktim

  28. Sandra
    0

    The Vixen in the Mirror.

    (’cause seriously, who she’s in love with is herself.

  29. Autumn Van Weir
    0

    “No Photos Please *I’m lying. I want you to take my photo*” – The Kim Kardashian story

    *please note no mention of her 2nd “marriage”.

  30. Regina
    0

    My Diamond Derriere: How to bowl a perfect game in Hollywood.

  31. Karen
    0

    Keeping It Up on the Seven Seas: Raising the Jolly Roger

  32. Shawnie
    0

    Thar She Bowls: Kaptain Fanny’s Lucky Strike

  33. Rob
    0

    Me: A love story.

  34. currygirl
    0

    @Shawnie, LOL! I love it!

  35. Cassy Salyer
    0

    I’m Stuck in These Pants, But Not in This Marriage: Volume 1 of K

  36. Kara
    0

    The Dread Widow Roberts, Book One: The Unbreakable Gold Love Campaigns

  37. Amy
    0

    Kan’t Bowl Me Love

  38. Sarah
    0

    Love For Sale (along with lots of other stuff including Dignity and Morals! Call now!): Kim Kardashian’s Historic Romance with Herself

  39. Chelsey
    0

    Held Kaptive:
    The Skandalous Tale of a Kaptain’s Wife

  40. Maureen
    0

    Pride and Plastic

  41. vinniepop
    0

    A Booty-Full Love

  42. Ash
    0

    The title I’ve come up with so far have been way lame, but wanted to pipe in and say that I have a copy of the book and it’s great fun.

  43. Ranee Singleton
    0

    A pirate autobiography “I’d Surrender The Booty, But It Would Take Two Trips.”

  44. deletedspace
    0

    Booty Calls: The [ Surgery-Free! ] Siren of the Karibbean

  45. Pamela in Calgary AB
    0

    Kaptain Kim: A Pirate’s Pleasure for the 4 C’s

  46. deletedspace
    0

    OR, in homage to the K sister’s cries of booty foul play…

    Booty Calls: The Siren Songs of the Silicone Sisters

  47. Zio Fester
    0

    Karibbean Kueen of a Dead Man’s Chest

    (with her height she only goes chest level right?)

  48. Lydia
    0

    Booty: A kollection of Kim Kardashian Konquests on the High Seas

  49. Tia
    0

    Kim’s Kardashian Into Your Arms

  50. quichepup
    0

    The Demimondaine’s Dark Denim Surprise or Honey, that’s Pleather

    @cassy salyer I’d read that book

  51. Mary
    0

    Jolly Roger, Ray-J and Reggie … My Life in the Gutter

  52. Lady T
    0

    Love’s Shallow Spotlight

    or
    The Pirates of Painted-on-pants

  53. lemuralley
    0

    Thirteen Things to Plan When Trying to Land a Kardashian

  54. cstiddy
    0

    Who Kares?

  55. Lindsey
    0

    The Khronicles of Kim: Konquering Kris for the Kameras

  56. Mikki
    0

    Kween Katface of Denial

    or

    The King’s Kourtesan – A Bootylicious Tale

  57. Paige
    0

    Kim & Kris: Our Love is E!ternal….

  58. Angela
    0

    From the Runway to the Plank – Walk Like a Kardashian

  59. ClaudiaGC
    0

    The Basketball Player’s Fake Socialite Bride

  60. Angela
    0

    Shiver Me Buttocks – The World’s Love Affair With My Ass(ets)

  61. Agent Sculder
    0

    Kaptain Kris’ Woman

  62. AC
    0

    Leather Bound for Lusty Love: The Reluctant Pin Monkey

  63. Rebecca
    0

    Love in the Time of Kholera

  64. ClaudiaGC
    0

    Taming The Kardashian Booty

  65. Cee Cee
    0

    Black Booty: A Khol-ed Up Wench’s Quest to Find the Pirate of Her Dreams By Balancing Her Booty & Her Booty.

    Booty (treasure) & Booty (butt)… :)

  66. Sensible Sea Monster
    0

    Arr! Not Without Me Flash Mob: The Empleatheration of Kaptain Kim (based upon the E! True Hollywood Story of One Wench’s Love Affair With Her Own Reflection)

  67. Kara K
    0

    Pirates of the Karibbean: The Kurse of the Bowling Ball

  68. AnnieD
    0

    Plundering Depths

  69. Mrs O
    0

    Kourageous Kim, the Brave, Buxom, and Bootyful Buccaneer!

  70. Crystal
    0

    I Will Never Be as Fierce as Posh Spice: The Kim Kardashian Story

  71. Trubie
    0

    ‘Dash with the Wind (Or I Can’t Go All My Life Waiting to Catch You Between Husbands)

  72. Claire
    0

    The Armenian Billionaire’s Inconvenient Bowling Pants

  73. Vicki
    0

    The Armenian Arm-Candy’s Slam Dunk

  74. Gabi
    0

    A Kollection of Kris(es)

  75. Gabi
    0

    These are awesome!

    I’d like to put in a vote for Dana”s (“Marriage of Konvenience”)

    and Shawna’s (Thar She Bowls: Kaptain Fanny’s Lucky Strike)

    B/c they both made me lol :)

  76. danielle
    0

    Myself: A Love Story

  77. jenelope
    0

    A pastiche of Woodiwiss titles (with a touch of Lifetime movies):
    “The Fame and the Flower: Kome Love a Kardashian”

  78. Lindsey
    0

    The Khronicles of Kim: Kaught Between Krises

    In this book – Part 2 of The Khornicles of Kim – our heroine is torn between the man kandy she so desires, and the mother “guiding” her “kareer”. Will true kamera love be torn asunder by a domineering momager? Will Kim kontinue to squeeze herself into klothes two sizes too small? Has Kim learned to stop mouth-breathing? And what about her biological klock…..? Find out in The Khronicles of Kim: Kaught Between Krises?

  79. Mongerel
    0

    A vote for Abby’s “Ahor, Ye Mateys!”

  80. Alyssa
    0

    When Asses Kollide – A True Tale of Obsession With Myself (Bible!)

  81. Sybylla
    0

    Love, Lies, and the Paparazzi.

    or

    The Armenian’s Reluctant Bridegroom.

  82. Tara
    0

    Kandi, Krises and Kisses: A Romance Novel by Kim Kardashian

  83. Amber
    0

    The Bowling Magnate’s Pirate Princess.

    Love, Leather and Ludicrious Lingerie.

  84. Jen
    0

    Bowling for Camera Time

  85. Tara
    0

    Kursed: The Most Beautiful Sister

  86. Tara
    0

    Back Stabby Celebutardes Volume 1

  87. Tara
    0

    H8Rs H8: But True Love is 4eva

  88. Rosa
    0

    Wow. A vote each for Paige (Kim & Kris: Our Love is E!ternal) and cstiddy (Who Kares?) b/c both made me laugh out and I’m at work. I can’t come up with a title b/c I can’t get past the fact that she actually wore a $3000 pair of shoes to go bowling. It’s a sign of the decline of modern civilization.

  89. kdots
    0

    Black Widow Bowling
    He tried to come between her and her mirror

  90. Claire
    0

    Not Without My Make-Up: E!-Love Never Dies

  91. misannethrope
    0

    HARRRRRRLot

  92. Cat
    0

    “A Striking Lady” by Kim.

  93. Lisa Martinez
    0

    The Heirem’s Bosom Overfloweth… her size 2 corset

  94. Gigi
    0

    Pirate’s Booty Kall

  95. Jamie
    0

    Kardinal Sin: How One Woman’s Obsession with Passion, Fashion, and Players Left her Dead Behind her Eyelashes.

  96. Bella
    0

    Too Much Booty Can Sink Your Vessel.
    Learn how to throw unwanted kargo overboard and lighten your load.

  97. Sharon
    0

    Gone with the Buccaneers

  98. zen
    0

    Kardashian’s of the Caribbean

  99. Regina
    0

    My, my,my..the title of Kim Kardashian book would be “Me and My Boo-tay”

  100. zen
    0

    I have to say, angela, I think yours is the funniest!!!
    “Shiver Me Buttocks – The World’s Love Affair With My Ass(ets)”

  101. TonyG
    0

    Fuggin’ Kim: The Gay Baller’s Dominatrix “Beard”

  102. Amalia
    0

    Treasure Chests & Fame Quests: A Girl’s Rise to Hollywood’s Apex* (thinly disguised memoir)
    (*: “wait, what’s an apex?”)

  103. Amalia
    0

    I think Tara really climbed inside Kim’s mind with that submission!

  104. TonyG
    0

    The Kardashian Affair: I Left my Whip in San Francisco

  105. Cät von J
    0

    The Bowling Buccaneer´s Bride: Sausage-pants and kisses in the moonlight ♥

    [how extraordinarily convenient to have a bowling bag to carry the booty around...]

  106. Cassy Salyer
    0

    Everything I Know About Love I Learned From a Black American Express Card, with a special dedication to Kim Kardashian, by Kim Kardashian

  107. amy
    0

    “Thighs and Whispers: A Love Almost Too Big to Handle”

  108. Maura
    0

    Kaptive Love: The pants that bind me.

  109. Stephanie K.
    0

    Behind this badonkadonk

  110. Agent Sculder
    0

    The Kastaway & the Kaptain: Marooned on Love Island

    or

    Kim Kardashian’s Worth Any Price

  111. Vivian
    0

    The Story Behind the Booty

  112. Vivian
    0

    My Butt is Real and I have the Xrays to Prove It!

  113. Coco
    0

    If you want me to go away, purchase and read this book.

  114. Jesse
    0

    The Curse of Perfection

  115. Bridget
    0

    Kaptain & Kanielle: Love and Booty Will Keep Us Together

  116. Skads
    0

    Harlequin Lanes: The Pirate Kingpin’s Mistress

  117. Orla
    0

    Karats and Kameras: A Kardashian Kourtship

  118. Kyed
    0

    Kim Kardashian: A kronicle of kourtship, konsuming desisire, and coupling with… what’s his name?

  119. Stephanie
    0

    Karnal Knowledge

  120. Felicity Lenes
    0

    The face that sank a thousand dunks: the InKredible Epik

  121. CJ
    0

    Loved in the Center of Attention

  122. Claire L
    0

    The Pirates of Pinch-Ass

  123. Claire L
    0

    Bodacious Booty On Board

  124. zen
    0

    The Fug and the Fabulous: A KardASSian Tail

  125. leigh
    0

    Because Kris loves the real me; Not just my killer kurves, Kardashian name, or my old workout videos with Ray-J.

  126. Miss C
    0

    My Lusty Lederhosen: A Tale of Kardashian Kingpins

  127. KTB
    0

    “The Price of Love: Apparently about as much as E! will pay me for a sham marriage, some staged photos of me looking dramatic and mysterious, and an eventual revelation that (I was abused/I am really a dude/my husband is gay)”

  128. Anna
    0

    No Sense or Sensibility: a kuest of kolosal posterior proportions

  129. RenaissanceGrrl
    0

    Plunder My Booty: A Wench’s Tale

  130. Kaetrin
    0

    4 Nights To Seduce A Pirate Prince

    hankts AT internode DOT on DOT net

  131. Kaetrin
    0

    4 Dukes Too Many

  132. Christopher D
    0

    I’M KNOT HEIR (yet): The Kim Kardashian Story

    (or… and obviously…
    Bowling For Dollars:The Kim Khardashian Story)

  133. Kelly A Gunter
    0

    The Sex Tape Star:Kim Keeps them Kumming

  134. Karen
    0

    Krinoline Krushes and Karibbean Leather Love

  135. Kelli
    0

    Kimmy’s Shimmy: Walking the Passionate Plank of Love

  136. PamG
    0

    The Armenian Millionaire’s Virgin Dead Animal Pants

  137. Katharine (II)
    0

    Kimpossible dreams : a lovekrossed saga.

  138. PamG
    0

    Rolling in the Gutter with Kimmy

  139. Emma
    0

    Kourtship of the Kountess: One Woman, One Title, Thirteen Suitors, Endless Hijinks.

  140. Ashley Gosselin
    0

    “The Scarlet Leather. A Kim Kardashian memoir and another way for Kris Jenner to earn 10%”

  141. Nicole B.
    0

    Katching Kandida: A tale of piracy, love, and a wicked yeast infection.

  142. Narshkite
    0

    Kaptive’s Koitus in Kowhide.

  143. NumberSix
    0

    Showmance on the High Seas, Book One: The Korsair’s Kurse

  144. Katharine (II)
    0

    Life is bootyfull.

    The tender side of Kim Kardashian is exposed in this deeply affecting dark romance.

  145. Katharine (II)
    0

    Cop a load of this … Kim K. goes Cockney in the saucy, sassy B & D romp :

    Butt out, knockers!

    Give your other half the special K treatment, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, you know what I mean. Corblimey, it’s ain’t half hot in here.

  146. LemonFresh
    0

    The Kast-Away Kountess: a tale of Piracy, Pleather, and Paparazzi

  147. Nicole B.
    0

    sKurvy! ~ lust on hard-tack

  148. mirjam
    0

    Xray this – our see through love

  149. mirjam
    0

    Kamera klose up – Karing in the Kingdom of Kardashian

  150. mirjam
    0

    Gone with the bling

  151. mirjam
    0

    Kare for a krush – Kaptain Knob and the kastaway Kardashian

  152. SeaGrace
    0

    Leather, Louboutin and Love

  153. mirjam
    0

    Katching khlamydia – konquering the Kardashians

  154. mirjam
    0

    A konvenient krush – how the Kountess Kardashian nailed romance (klose up)

  155. elvan
    0

    My votes are for:
    Walking His Plank
    Ahor, Ye Mateys!
    and Fifteen Minute Flame

    LOL…Walking His Plank…too funny!

  156. elisabeth
    0

    Two ideas: Kruel, Kruel Love
    or
    O Loving Hate! O Hateful Love! O K!

  157. Annandale
    0

    A Strike for Love: The Konfused Bridegroom’s Sporty Koquette

  158. Linda
    0

    Me, Myself and the Paparazzis

  159. ClaudiaGC
    0

    The Kardashian’s Wedding Affair

  160. steph fwfd
    0

    I don’t know much about Ms. K but it seems that her behind has been remarked upon a bit.

    Mutiny on My Booty (given the pirate pants)
    Pirate’s Booty (He thought she was just a girl but then he knew,… She was Pirate’s Booty)

  161. Tatjana
    0

    Kim – In love with Myself, or The greatest love story of all the times.

  162. marcia
    0

    the first entry was the best: Marriage of Konvenience.

  163. Ashley Kei
    0

    Kim Kardashian presents The Leatherbound Booty and the Man Who Loved It: A Tale of Hotpants, Lust, Squats, and Revenge.

  164. B.C.
    0

    Kim of the Pleather Jeggings and her Pirate Captain: Lust on the High Seas

  165. Meredith
    0

    Leather, Lace, & Louboutins: True Love Forever and For Always with Kim Kardashian

  166. Lis
    0

    Here’s looking at you, Kim

  167. Lynn
    0

    Revenge of the Kow: leather for Kim and him …

  168. norman plum
    0

    Out Of Africans

  169. norman plum
    0

    Ass: You Like It?

  170. norman plum
    0

    Bolldoze the Moon

  171. Amber
    0

    Kim Kardashian’s The Greatest Love of All: A Timeless Love Story About Kim Kardashian for Kim Kardashian by Kim Kardashian (Now with a forward by Kim Kardashian and reviews by Kris Jenner, Khole Kardashian, Kourtney Kasdashian and Kim’s husband, whats-his-name)

  172. Ann
    0

    Mink lash tears: The day my bum sagged

  173. Wendy
    0

    Konfessions of a Kardashian: Konquering Love, One Louboutin Step at a Time

  174. Kayle
    0

    Kim’s Karnal Kabana

  175. Lion
    0

    Rob’s

    “Me: A love story.”

    is wonderful!