You may have seen the hilariously awesome news that the author of the Gossip Girl books, Cecily von Ziegesar, has just published a book that reimagines the series as if Blair and Serena are serial-killing high-school students. It’s a hugely unusual, possibly very therapeutic for her, and also intensely entertaining idea — and I hope the TV series, when it ends, decides to go out in a similar blaze of glory. Anyway, a spanking new copy of Gossip Girl: Psycho Killer is the prize for three lucky winners of this week’s Freaky Fug Friday contest, and for a teaser, you HAVE to look at the cover. It’s the same as the original one, but doused in blood. Perfect for Halloween — which, incidentally, is when we’ll be announcing the people who psycho-kill this competition. Har.
All right, let’s sink our costume fangs into this one, shall we?
THE SUBJECT: Aaron Johnson, whom you might know as the 21-year old actor/paramour of director Sam Taylor-Wood (they came out as a couple when he was 19, and she was roundabout 42), and the father of two children with her (one currently gestating). As far as we know, he is not currently the ringmaster of a circus of MUUUUURDER, but I suppose anything is possible. Now, please note, we suspect this Olde Timey Villain look is not Aaron’s choice; he’s currently playing a marijuana grower in the adaptation of Savages, and we assume this is what that movie decided marijuana growers look like. This seems questionable, but if indeed it turns out that America’s pot farmers do style themselves as if they’re two seconds away from tying damsels to the tracks in a rent dispute, we will happily mail them a top hat and some mustache wax and be on our merry way.
THE TASK: Let’s exhume our old favorite, the acrostic poem — no specific meter, but the first letter of each line must spell out an apt word or phrase. The topic is, the mystery in which this goofily groomed gent might be embroiled. Is he the killer? The victim? The red herring? The cop? Colonel Mustard? — and make sure the word spells out something scary, like “muuuuuurder,” or “President Kardashian,” or “prohibition.” (Although let’s keep it nice and frothy and apolitical and whatnot. Friday of Halloween weekend is no time for intelligent discourse on any subject except which orange or black cocktails taste the best.)
THE DEADLINE: 10 p.m. Pacific on Sunday night. Be sure and post all submissions in the comments of this entry, or else they won’t be considered. Now get cracking! Serena and Blair are doing a whole lot of muuuuuuuurdering and you’re going to want to catch up on it.