“YO, FUGGERS. KANYE HERE, AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. EITHER I AM FIXING AN INJUSTICE AGAINST AWARDS-RECEIVING PEOPLE OR I AM ABOUT TO GET FUNKY. AND BECAUSE OF ALL YOU PEOPLE, I AM RENTING A CONDO IN FUNKYTOWN TODAY.

Dior Homme - Paris Fashion Week Menswear A/W 2010

[PHOTO: SPLASH NEWS]

“MY GIRL AMBER OWNS FUG MADNESS 2010 LIKE I OWN THE RESPECT AND ADMIRATION OF MYSELF. I KNEW SHE COULD DO IT. HER FURRY FANNY PACK HOLDS MANY MYSTERIES, AND AMERICA JUST SOLVED ONE. AMBER TOOK RIHANNA OUTSIDE, PUT HER IN A PIPE, AND SMOKED HER, LEGAL-STYLE, BECAUSE ANYTHING ELSE WOULD BE WACK LIKE CRACK, AND I AM TOO DOPE TO BE A DOPE, JACK. SIXTY-FIVE PERCENT OF FUG NATION VOTED FOR AMBER, WHICH IN SCHOOL TERMS IS A SOLID D, ALTHOUGH KANYE GRADES ON A PASS/FAIL. AS IN, YOU PASS ON THE WEST, YOU FAIL THE TEST, EVEN IF YOUR CHEST IS A BOOB OKTOBERFEST. FEEL IT.
2009 MTV Video Music Awards - Show
“TONIGHT WE ARE GOING TO CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, BECAUSE YOU, AMERICA, FINALLY REWARDED GENIUS WHERE GENIUS LIVES: IN MY PANTS. AFTER SHE FINISHES DRINKING I AM GOING TO CRACK THAT BOTTLE ON THE HULL OF THE S.S. BUTTOCK AND THEN TAKE HER OUT TO SEA. EVEN PETE WENTZ UP THERE IS HAPPY FOR HER, AND I NORMALLY DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO THAT DUDE BECAUSE HIS BAND PERFORMS IN THE KEY OF SNORE. BUT I WILL NOT SAY THAT, SINCE I AM NOT THE KIND OF PERSON WHO SPEWS NEGATIVITY AND BADITUDE. INSTEAD I WILL APPLAUD PETE’S CREATIVE CREATIVITY IN HAIR STYLES.
“ONE MORE THING:

“THIS VIDEO IS NOT NEARLY AS DOPE AS A KANYE WEST PRODUCTION AND APPARENTLY THERE IS ONE FROM 2008 AND 2009 ALSO SO IT’S NOT AS ORIGINAL AND I THINK BEYONCE DID IT BETTER AND SHE REALLY DESERVED TO HAVE BEEN ASKED TO MAKE THIS VIDEO. BUT SHOOT, DOG, THERE I GO AGAIN. I HAVE TO GIVE RESPECT TO THIS VIDEO FOR GOING OUT THERE AND PUTTING ITS ARTISTRY IN THE WORLD AND I REALLY LIKE THE PART WITH THE PICTURES!!! ESPECIALLY THE ONES OF THIS REGAL LADY:
Celebrities front row at the Baby Phat by Kimora Lee Simmons Spring 2010 Fashion Show, NYC

[PHOTO: SPLASH NEWS]

“IN CONCLUSION, AMBER, YOU ARE THE KIND OF WOMAN I COULD PUT IN A MINK FANNY PACK AND TAKE ON A LONG HIKE UP MOUNT OH-HELL-YES. CONGRATULATIONS, GIRL. NOW COME HOME AND LET THE SNAKE CHARMER MAKE YOU SHED YOUR SKIN. MY WAND CASTS A LONG SPELL, BUT GIRL, KANYE DOESN’T FLICK IT AND TELL. KANYE OUT. P.S. THE MAGIC WORD IS ABRACAFABRA. BUT YOU KNEW THAT.”