Fug Madness 2010, Round One: Cher Bracket


(1) LADY GAGA vs. (16) BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD

[PLEASE NOTE: Each contestant's archive is linked here at the top of each match-up, for handy review of their past transgressions]

By now, we’re all well versed in the sorts of things Lady Gaga wears to perform:

[Photo: Splash News]

I know this is supposed to be art — and it is, if the visual painting you are doing is of the offspring of Heidi Montag and Sweetums.

But the equally important question, as regards this competition: What does Lady Gaga wear when she’s NOT on stage?



[Photo: Splash News]

Apparently, Gaga wore this to a friends-and-family party at a restaurant. With her parents. I would like very much to see the looks on my own parents’ faces if I showed up to dinner wearing ardently pro-math nipple shields, a rubber claw sprouting from my wrist, the floor mats from a car too cheap to use rubber, and a silver crustacean — much less tried to hug them. Stomping, fainting, and gritted teeth might be involved. On the plus side, I guess Gaga is her own easy-clean lobster bib.
All that is tough to compete with, so I don’t envy Bryce Dallas Howard this task. Nor do I envy her this outfit:

[Photo: WENN.com]

Severe hair + harsh lipstick + bad color + window treatment + sheer + wrong shoes + I secretly hate French-tip pedicures + I can’t even tell if that IS a pedicure + why does your eye shadow match your hair? = a perfect storm of fug.
This isn’t a great equation either:
Undershirt + weird socks + high-heeled clogs + trash-bag body stocking = turn around and get back in the car. 
Hmm. Maybe the REAL problem here is that Bryce Dallas Howard is lousy at math.

(8) KIM KARDASHIAN vs. (9) WHITNEY PORT

For someone who co-owns a boutique, this is sixteen different kinds of wrong.

Actually, it’s an avalanche of wrong no matter WHAT your affiliation is to a clothing store. That thing easily adds five or ten pounds to Kim’s body. It kind of looks like her boobs are being propped up by armor, which is great if you are fighting The Crusades inside Studio 54 in the 1970s, but not so optimal in any other circumstance.

Kim is not alone in her problems with trousers. Whitney Port not only put these on her body, but wore this out in public:

[Photo: Splash News]

That, of course, led to a buttock buffet — all well and good when you’re wearing your satin sleep shorts and belly tee in the comfort of your own home, but kind of egregious when you’re out shopping and appear to be exiting a store that sells only the things that are doing their job properly here: shoes.

Neither lady fares consistently well with dresses, either.

[Photo: Splash News]

All I can say for this is, although it looks like something that would be borne of a Kardashian-Joan Collins fashion line, at least it’s not in danger of dropping off Kim’s body. Whitney’s, not so much:

However, this does provide inspiration for anyone who longs to yoke their undergarments and their lampshades.

(4) BRAD PITT vs. (13) MILEY CYRUS

We didn’t cover the heck out of Brad Pitt’s facial topiary this year because after one viewing or so it kind of spoke for itself, using very scruffy yet very Mephistophelian tones, and also possibly playing a lot of Grateful Dead music in the background of its lair.

Whether he did this to himself for a role, for giggles, or because he lost a bet, it still doesn’t explain why he felt his chin needed little pigtails.

You might think comparing Pitt’s facial hair to Miley’s clothing is a task that’s Herculean in its randomness. And yet I may have found a link:

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

This shirt MAY have been woven from the downy hair of Brad’s beard droppings.

(5) CIARA vs. (12) AGYNESS DEYN

Singer Ciara came on really strong toward the end of the Fug Madness cycle — to the point where we almost entirely missed her Year In Fug, and had to study it in retrospect. But it makes sense to start off with the outfit that is the sound, strong basis for her high seeding: this Grammys atrocity.
This so confounds me that I kind of wish I’d been there to see her put it on, just to help me understand how it works and what the hell it even IS. Are they separate layers, or is the leotard sewn to the lacy overlay that turns into pants? Is the harness-jacket its own entity? Does she require a team of four people to lower her into all the component parts pre-assembled?
Conversely, I can understand HOW Ciara’s opponent Agyness got into this:

[Photo: WENN.com]

I just don’t know WHY she got into it. 
Neither lady has particular luck with accessories, either.
Those boots look like the kind of amphibious armor that might encase a next-century watercraft aching to have a go at the Kraken. Does anyone know if Ciara has a keen interest in marine life?
Agyness, on the other hand… you know what? I don’t even know what that is. Decals? Heavily smudged liner? An oil slick? I give. Maybe there’s something about being a model that makes you want to do bizarre things to your face during the times you are not being paid to do anything on the strength of it. 
But both of these ladies have me throwing up my hands. Somehow, I must find the strength to bring them down upon my mouse and decide which insanity gets to progress.
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Comments (643):

  1. Anonymous
    0

    FUG MADNESS! Yay!

    Whoa, I forgot about those lashes on Aggy.

  2. Rebekka
    0

    I think Agyness’ eyelashes are feathers. Obviously not sure – and if you don’t know what it is, or what the point is, it’s probably fug.

  3. allie
    0

    is it wrong to vote for aggy just because i HATE the way she spells her name?

  4. Noxqqivit
    0

    Agyness & Ciara – way too close. It is too early in the process for close calls. C’mon people Agyness is a trained professional.

  5. Heather
    0

    I will forever hate Brad Pitt’s scraggly beard. Even without the pigtails, it’s way too much fug for this girl

  6. leah
    0

    I don’t know: I feel like Lady Gaga is ALWAYS on stage, even if she’s not, so I just couldn’t vote for her under my own, entirely arbitrary, definition of “it’s a costume.”

  7. Antof9
    0

    Since my basketball bracket thingie is guaranteed to lose* this year (I opted for alphabetical wins and have Butler vs. Baylor in the final), I am so, so, so happy to see this up. Oh Joy oh Fug!

    *past years’ methodology has include color of uniform, fun-sounding names (GONZAGA!), and of course; which mascot could beat up which mascot.

  8. jakedog
    0

    I first read the comment under Brad as “it still doesn’t explain why he felted his chin…”

    Indeed.

  9. Count Snarkula
    0

    Wow kids. It’s going to be a tough one this year. Hell, this is just round one and already I have spent an hour on my choices.

  10. Teeny
    0

    I read the reasoning for putting Lady Gaga in Fug Madness, but I can’t understand why she’s losing to BDH.

    BDH is worse to me only because she probably put those outfits on trying to look nice and to conform to some standard of “beauty,” whereas Lady Gaga wants to look strange.

  11. Kim
    0

    I love Miley’s shirt – I have one just like it in my basement near the furnace

  12. Anonymous
    0

    Vote Brad! On the basis of taking such potential and managing to turn it SOOO fugly. Miley started out sort of meh, and is still just meh.

  13. Lori
    0

    Bryce Dallas Howard has to take this one. LaGaGa is *trying* to look crazy; BDH has no such excuse.

  14. Jenn
    0

    I agree with Leah: I REALLY didn’t want to vote for GaGa, as I feel everything she does is just “in character” and shouldn’t count. But alas – she got my vote, as I didn’t feel Bryce Dallas was THAT bad in comparison.

    Here’s hoping someone takes her down!

    Also – how does Ciara walk in those boots!? They look like they would shred her legs.

  15. Minutiae
    0

    Regardless of who wins in this bracket, I must applaud you ladies for a reference to Sweetums.

  16. Reba
    0

    Had to give it to Bryce because it’s obvious Lady Gaga believes she is never off stage. It seems unfair to judge performance art against true fug. I know I’m in the minority, but I think I have a case.

  17. Holly
    0

    Yeah, I don’t think Gaga counts as fug anymore cause I give her (grudging) respect for being SO totally committed to her whole “living art” dealy. Ever since she hit it big, I don’t think I’ve seen her wear a single normal piece of clothing. Plus, Bad Romance is my new favorite song to sing when I drink because I can still remember the words after a few vodka cranberries. BDH never seems to grasp the concept that pale people should not wear pale clothes.
    Likewise, with Agnes (I refuse to spell it so ridiculously), she’s a model paid to wear fashion-forward clothing, so I don’t think what she wears to events necessarily reflects her own personal sense of style, but rather styles that have been thrown at her that she needs to wear to stay relevant in the fashion industry.

  18. KatieMay
    0

    I voted for Bryce Dallas Howard because I’m utterly sick of seeing Lady “thou dost protest too much” Gaga. She’s not half as truly wackadoo as Helena Bonham Carter, I’ll bet in real life LG is as dull as dishwater. Whitney Port got the nod because she really did out fug in this round -bonus I’m sick of Kim Kardashian too. Miley “don’t you know who I am” Cyrus got the nod as well because Brad is still really cute and Agyness Deyn because she should really know better.

  19. TaraMisu
    0

    I can’t vote for Gaga…. she’s going for a “look” or for shock value orrrr something. BDH is just getting dressed for an event and blows it pretty much every time.
    Have I mentioned I no longer dread March? I owe it all to the Fug Girls, thank you!!! {{}}

  20. Anna Beth
    0

    About that last picture; Agyness looks like she is vying for a highly coveted date with HR Puff n Stuff. And really, who can blame her.

  21. Becca
    0

    Honesty Box: I voted for BDH because I’m really sick of Lady Gaga. I just don’t want to give her and her get-ups anymore attention. Although those satin shorts may have also contributed to the decision.

  22. John the Craptist
    0

    PEOPLE. Lady Gaga’s outfit are not meant to be taken seriously. Bryce Dallas Howard’s are. THINK BEFORE YOU VOTE. Am I the only person who takes his participation in democracy seriously? God.

  23. Kate
    0

    You guys, GAGA? I just don’t think she fits! Someone said as much above, but…I mean, she’s dressing that way for a REASON. You can bet she doesn’t show up to the studio, or brunch, or movie night in those outfits. Bryce was trying to look presentable.

    I can only be thankful Gaga is here so we can review her awesome-osity from the past year.

  24. CampCounsellor
    0

    Deciding between Ciara and Agyness Deyn is the fug equivalent of Sophie’s Choice. I fug them both so very much – how could I possibly be expected to choose???

  25. Chickenstick
    0

    So excited to dive in. I only wish this whole thing would last longer.
    My own feelings re Fug are a bit jumbled though. Sometimes I love the contestant for being fug so I fug them,
    and I also have fugged people who made me go “EEw!” in an angry tone.
    The flamboyant and awesome AND the shredded and whiskery. I’m concerned about the inner turmoil this is going to lead me to, especially as the match-ups get gnarlier.

  26. VJ
    0

    i almost went with Agy for those eyelashes, but that…situation Ciara has on from the Grammy’s “won” out for me.

  27. Miss Mouse
    0

    I’m with John the Craptist on this one. Lady Gaga’s outfits are costumes. Her schtick is Her Life As Performance Art, and while it can be hard on the eyes, it can also be argued that part of that is wearing telephones made of hair on one’s head. I guess. Bryce Dallas Howard, on the other hand, puts on her crapulous outfits in the sincere belief that they look good. They don’t. Which is why I voted for Bryce.

  28. The Other Molly
    0

    Alas, Whitney Port is beating the Kardashian creature. I will vote for anything Kardashian merely due to the family, fame whore quotient. And the fact that they are all, deeply entrenched in fug.
    I’d like to see Miley make it to the final four, but she has some serious fug to beat out to get there.
    Fug Madness is back!!
    HOORAY!!

    It’s the most, wonderful time, of the year!
    With the women all fugging
    and Fug Nation shrugging
    We’ll see Ga Ga’s rear
    It’s the most, wonderful time, of the year!

  29. pairof_secateurs
    0

    i (not so) secretly love that lobster outfit on la gaga. same goes for ciara’s armour boots – i think it’s the optical illusion that makes them look like art deco chainmail that floats my goat.

    everything else however…

  30. melanie
    0

    agreed with all of the above opinions on lady gaga:
    she is always on stage
    her outfits are meant to be ridiculous “crazy” costumes, not real outfits that look good

    and also, i’m just honestly sick of her, so the sooner she gets off this whole fug madness shebang, the better.

  31. Rudy
    0

    Mylar formal shorts!? Please tell me there was underwear under there.

  32. Miranda
    0

    Yeah, with Gaga it’s always a performance. She doesn’t count. I went with poor Bryce who should REALLY know better.

  33. Chaiaiai
    0

    FUG MADNESS!!!!! My bracket is up at my desk! I cannot wait for the Drunkface and Ke$ha showdown!!! okay, enough exclamation points….

  34. Maria
    0

    I’m excited to have found the outfit to wear to the company Christmas party this year. I work for a lobster fishing company, and we have plastic drop cloths and duct tape right in the shop!

  35. amanda in Austin
    0

    I can’t believe Brad’s facial monstrosity is losing to Hannah Montana.

  36. Cleo
    0

    You know, I went in thinking I couldn’t vote for Gaga because she does it on purpose, but the lobster is just straight-up hideous. Like, it’s not even fab fug, it’s just failed fab fug.

  37. G
    0

    Brad’s facial hair has got to be for a film role right? Right? I’m glad we can all agree on that.

    I was reading really quickly and I thought that this: “But both of these ladies have me throwing up my hands” read like this: But both of these ladies have me throwing up in my hands. Kinda funny.

  38. Anika
    0

    I probably shouldn’t admit this but I really want Ciara’s kraken boots.

    I agree that Lady Gaga does it on purpose but Bryce is out of her league in this one. Gaga has to go up against someone as extreme.

  39. Willow
    0

    I decided to not vote for Gaga because that’s what she wants. Crazy for the sake of being crazy isn’t that crazy at all. Huh, maybe Gaga needs a lesson in math as well: two negatives make a positive.

  40. Chickenstick
    0

    When did John Maddern become Gaga’s bodyguard?

  41. sapphiregirl
    0

    GAGA VS. BRYCE: Seriously, this was no contest. Miss Gaga wore a LOBSTER ON HER HEAD. I don’t know if she is trying to be all SWINTONESQUE, but she had it all over Bryce.

    KIM K. VS. WHITNEY PORT: I cannot stand Kim or her sisters, as they are talentless and bad dressers, but I simply cannot forgive Whitney wearing high waisted shorts with a cut off midriff baring shirt. That kind of stuff will send you straight to fashion hell, homegirl.

    BRAD VS. MILEY: Overall, Brad’s clothes didn’t look that bad, but the beard was horrible when it got out of hand. That being said, I had to give Miley the win because she seems to make herself look older than she actually is.

    CIARA VS. AGNES: This one was close, but I have to give it to Agnes (the non-pretentious spelling), because she is a model and simply should know better.

    FUG MADNESS IS TEH BESSSSSSST!!!

  42. dee
    0

    If you REALLY don’t know what it is, those are false eyelashes on Agyness.

  43. Anat
    0

    Just agreeing with all the lady Gaga comments, she is not trying to look good or taking herself seriously, which in itself makes her hors concours. Otherwise she would have won this before it even started.
    Right???

  44. GW
    0

    I can’t vote for Brad Pitt’s fug. I get that he’s fighting the hotness, but even the natty goatee doesn’t change the fact that I’d drop everything to be on him if given the chance.

  45. sophia
    0

    whitney port is a delight of fug. gaga vs bdh was a toughie. its the SWINTON problem again, if the fuggee clearly EMBRACES their fug is it really fug? or is fug trying to NOT be fug and failing miserably? is the title a reward or a condemnation? i have a similar conundrum in the charo bracket between riri and jlo. my kingdom for some guidance from andre leon talley – the new antm chief deity.

  46. ringletwraith
    0

    I had to vote for Bryce over Gaga. Gaga is Gaga. Bryce, if fear, is just a crotch-high slit of the skirt away from becoming the New Phoebe Price. If Bryce won’t save herself from this fate, it’s up to us, Fug Nation, to do it for her.

  47. kath
    0

    @Amanda, i agree!, how can be Miley stonger than Pitt!?

  48. christine christine
    0

    I’m so happy right now. So happy!

    This is the most fun I’ve had while pretending to be working EVER!

  49. Katrien
    0

    I totally agree with all of you who voted for Bryce. I think the poor girl truly believes she’s well dressed and has cunning make up, with matchy-matchy lipstick and nails and everything. Gaga on the other hand, knows perfectly well what she’s doing.
    I don’t think Brad should be in this competition. I agree that his goatie should decompose faster than Miley’s shirt does, but this is mainly about the clothes and Brad’s usually look fine. So go Miley! In a not very supportive way, obviously.

  50. tuttle88
    0

    @johnthecrapist is right people. This is very serious, you need to think carefully don’t throw your votes away!

  51. jerkygirl
    0

    First of all: FUG MADNESS FUG MADNESS OH JOY RAPTURE LOVE!!! I heard some ladies in my office talking about “brackets” this morning and I was all “oh they must be fugging too” but then I kept eavesdropping and turns out they were talking about some sports thing. Eh.

    a) I get the “Gaga is always in costume” thing and almost voted for BDH but dude she had A PAPIER-MACHE DISCO LOBSTER ON HER HEAD and I just fell over and voted for her. Next round, perhaps.

    b) KK vs. WP–KK sometimes looked good this year, WP never did. Ever. Like not even for 2 seconds out of the corner of my eye. Easy.

    c) Billy-goat beard on a has-been cutie who’s willingly had the life sucked out of him by Vampirina, or the head Disney prostitot who purposely wears cobwebs-as-shirt and hooker boots at the same time? Isn’t she like, 15??? Also, Oscar dress fiasco. Score 1 vote to MC.

    d) Had to give this one to AD, cuz Ciara is a groovy musician whose outfits I actually liked, for serious, vs. a model who always looks like some kind of goth rag-doll who got rescued from a dumpster to be used as a chew toy for a really, really slobbery Saint Bernard. Point, AD.

  52. Xenu01
    0

    Brad all the way! He is clearly determined to be seen as fug and therefore more stately or interesting or something. Also, if Gaga could grow a beard, she would shape it like a lobster or something. Lazy, Brad, lazy!

  53. v
    0

    i’m just wondering.. how does one sit in plastic pants?? we should’ve excluded gaga,who cares anyway?

  54. Stripes
    0

    Gaga is a cannard in this race. The costumes are part of the performance, and should not eclipse some truly hideous outfits worn by people who should know better.

    Moveover, she’s no SWINTON!

  55. DIANE
    0

    Say…are they remaking The Addams Family? Is Lady Caca making her bid for the role of cousin Itt? Some of these ladies are dressed horribly, but I don’t think it’s deliberate. On the other hand with Caca, she goes out of her way to look like a nut. Maybe if her musical talent was greater she wouldn’t have to go to such extremes to make herself noticed.

  56. Sarah Baker
    0

    I love that Gaga but She is totally ripping off the lesser known Peaches! Peaches was wearing gigantic hair hats on stage back in 2008!

  57. bipity
    0

    i must disagree with the rest of fug nation on lady gaga being fuglier than bryce dallas.at least she owns her look and her outfits are put together but bd looks like she waited till the last minute to pick out what she’s gonna wear to an event and looks like she’s in desperate need of a stylist.furthermore,what brad pitt did to his face is unforgivable!no matter what miley putt on her body!

  58. Patricia
    0

    Ok, first off, LOVE the fug girls. As for Gaga and BDH, I was going to give my vote to BDH until I read that the lobster outfit was worn to a family/friend dinner that Gaga’s parents attended. I know for Gaga it’s all about living life as art, but, come one, really? Can’t you leave the art at home when getting together with family and friends for dinner?

  59. Claire
    0

    I definitely agree with those who consider Gaga performance art rather than bad sartorial choices (though…OVER IT). Bryce is just a plain ol’ mess, so she gets my vote.

    YAY, FUG MADNESS!!

  60. Emily
    0

    Though I agree with the costume element to Lady Gaga’s immense fugitude, she is no SWINTON. Even when they failed, SWINTON’s attempts always looked high fashion and couturesque (which is often fug) and classy. Whereas Gaga is just freaky cheap acid-trip porn. Epic fail. Gaga FTW.

  61. naomi
    0

    i hope the same people whining about the fugging of gaga did not give juliette lewis the nod either…she also “lives life in performance art” and “knows what she is doing”…btw neither of those statements negates the fug
    also of course brad pitt is loosing to miley…if he shaved off the beard problem solved…miley will carry on with her pop star country classy looks…she was raised by billy ray cyrus of mullet/achy breaky fame :P

  62. Amy
    0

    I just want Kim Kardashian to stop being relevant.

  63. Claire M.
    0

    I totally see where people are coming from about Gaga’s outfits as a performance, but– not to get TOO deep– all of these people make conscious and calculated clothing choices as part of being an actor/model/whatever. Gaga’s choices may seem to be more purposeful (or purposely UNpurposeful) but that doesn’t elevate her to a level of performer above the other contestants and exempt her from being fugged– everyone here is a performer to some extent.

    I fugged Gags because no matter what her motivation, her clothes are crazy fugly to the highest degree. I’m considering her fug a compliment, though, sort of like SWINTON. I wouldn’t want either of them to change!

  64. Marph
    0

    Does anyone else think Brad Pitt looks like Jeff Bridges’ long-lost younger brother, and is making a bid to play same in ‘Crazy Heart 2: Still Crazy’?

  65. melistress
    0

    Oh come on! Look at Brad. Remember what he once was? Oh how the mighty have fallen! Miley has one bad shirt. Ok…probably other bad outfits too. But Brad has consistently looked like a billy goat for the last year. Why, oh why did he let himself go like that?

  66. Mariella
    0

    In the name of Fug, I hope Lady Gaga sweeps this thing! She is Fug Supreme and I love her for it! Gaga! Gaga!

  67. emily
    0

    Agyness vs. Ciara! So hard! Those lashes, oh gracious! But Ciara’s crazy boots!

  68. Alisa
    0

    Is there anyway that we can ensure that when a celebrity loses their bracket in Fug Madness, they automatically fall into a deep, dark hole and are never seen from again?

    I would like this rule to apply to any/all Kardashians, all the cast members of the Hills & other assorted “reality” tv shows, Miley Cyrus etc…

    No? The Fug Girls don’t have these magical powers?! Sigh.

    I can’t vote for LG just because I am under the impression she truly believes she is always on stage & in costume, therefore rendering her ineligible (in my mind) of winning Fug Madness.
    BDH was under the illusion she looks decent, I mean, REALLY?! Did she not look in a mirror?! No contest on that vote :)

  69. Jen310
    0

    This was a pretty easy round. Gaga, Port, and Cyrus easily bested their respective competition — they were just easily and simply fug. Agy and Ciara was another matter.
    I had to go with Ciara because she hopped on the Gaga and Rhianna crazy fug train in hopes of upping her music profile. That just reeks of fug desperation and therefore is the saddest fug of all. Agy brought the fug but Ciara brought it with heaping helping of pathetic. Ciara FTW for me.

  70. psyche
    0

    Bryce Dallas Howard FTW: On the basis that she (I presume) is *trying* to look nice and Lady Gaga is *trying* to look crazy.

    Whitney Port FTW: Because even though I’ve never watched the Hills, I do follow pop culture, and those girls are supposed to be in fashion right? Seriously, a 90s crop top and mini satin shorts?

    Ms Cyrus FTW: Because it’s just a weird looking beard. I feel like if I were followed around by the paparazzi on the Brangelina scale I would start acting out and/or disguising my hotness too

    Agyness Deyn FTW: Because I’m a Sci-fi/Fantasy and kind of like both Ciara’s outfits in a costume-y sort of way. Seriously, those boots are a little bit awesome.

  71. Lori Magno
    0

    Well at least the first one was easy. Gaga, who you report as being talented, so I must believe you, makes me perpetually sad. Not quite ‘fashiony’ enough, most of the time she is a true train wreck. Why is she hiding? Gaga FTW.

    Kim Kardashian has one job, to show the boobs, the booty or both – all clothing is managed around those job principles. I had forgotten Ms. Port’s tap pants, plaid sneaker combo. Port FTW just because of that!

    I know Brad’s skankface can be changed with just the flip of a razor, where Ms. Cyrus has some genetic material that may prevent her from ever being successful on the red carpet. Cyrus FTW.

    Ciara seems always dressed for the stage, but Aggnessyss has access to the top designers and is still always a trainwreck. She should just stop. Deyn FTW.

    Respectfully submitted,
    Lori Magno

  72. Cecily
    0

    I agree with everyone about Gaga being a performance artist, ergo, all the world’s a stage, but I voted for her anyway because of everyone who’s ever had to sit behind her and her cumbersome head gears at an awards show. Kim Karkrash poses a dilemma as she is like the Paris Hilton of yesteryear, famous for simply having money and I want her to go away, however, I had to vote her way for, well, so many reasons you’ve handily pointed out. Miley for that Charlotte’s Web shirt and all the other tatters she’s trotted out as fashion, yuk. And lastly, Ciara because she refuses to acknowledge pants.

  73. Girlnone
    0

    Poor BDH is actually trying to look fashionable and failing miserably (which is too bad, because she’s a very pretty lady), while Lady Gaga is trying to make some sort of performance art statement or something. So while Gaga’s crimes against fashion are more flagrant, I feel that Bryce’s woeful attempts to dress up for the red carpet are more truly “fug.”

    Also, Lady Gaga annoys me.

  74. molly
    0

    I found it impossible to vote against Lady Gaga simply because her second outfit makes it look like she wants to barf, too.

    Miley got a bye, for sure. Yet, she does seem to have a wacky fashion sense anyway, so going up against icky facial hair may not be the give away I thought.

    Between Whitney and Kim – that was tough, but I gave it to Kim because I don’t think Whitney’s head is in the game, y’know?

    I flipped a coin on the last one.

  75. Bon Jour
    0

    Everyone is so up on the Gaga dressing intentionally crazy. That may be true but I disagree that she’s dressing intentionally ugly. I believe from the bottom of my heart that she thinks she is on the razor’s edge of fashion, way ahead of us mortals. That pisses me off because she looks, despite whatever delusions of genius she suffers, totally FUG.

    Also, Brad Pitt got my vote because he totally drew a Magic Marker mustache on the Mona Lisa with that goat-beard.

  76. Megan Jean
    0

    I voted for Bryce Dallas Howard because she seems to want to dress well, but doesn’t, and thus fails, whereas Lady G wants to look like Miss Wackadoo Crazypants and does, so she succeeds. Also, I kind of want her to go away and not dominate Fug Madness. Please?

  77. Lise
    0

    Bad goatee or not, Brad Pitt can never be fug.

  78. jeckie
    0

    ok, it’s a tragedy that either Kim Kardashian or Whitney Port had to be out this round. Two fine, fine contenders for the end of the bracket.

    Also, Agyness over Ciara, though their fug is comparable, because Agyness is such a fashion darling. I’d dress like The Sev before I’d take a single tip from that lady.

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    @ By allie on March 18, 2010 8:14 AM

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  80. Megan Jean
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    To Alisa @ 10:49am:

    Well, actually I wouldn’t rule out the magical powers of the Fug Girls, because the previous 2 winners of FM have pretty much dropped off the face of the earth (or at least out of the public eye). Hmmm…in that case maybe I should rethink my vote for Gaga…

  81. CCD
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    My basis for this round, “Would I link that?”

    Lady Gaga ALMOST won out but her images have been seen everywhere so she lost to the craziness of Bryce.

    Kim vs Whitney, well Whitney has more OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE IT outfits, she wins.

    The Beard vs Brad Pitts Facial Hair (okay that’s not fair)… Miley had ice blue leather thigh boots. How can you NOT link those?

    Speaking of boots… Ciara, I want to know where you bought those and you get my vote.

  82. Rachel
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    I think it’s worse to unintentionally dress hideously (Bryce Dallas Howard), then do so on purpose (Lady Gag…a). Whitney Port and Kim Kardashian is a toughie as well as Ciara and Agyness Deyn. They all suffer from fugliness. They all need to be thrown into a room with filled to the brim with gay stylist who will beat them, then dress them properly. As for Miley Cyrus and Brad Pitt, that one’s simple, at least Brad Pitt can shave his face.

  83. sally
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    Just because it’s art, it doesn’t mean it’s good art. Lady Gaga can be quite fugly just as unintentionally as the others.

  84. MP
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    It was a difficult choice between Ciara and her competition, but I gave Ciara the win because 2 out of 3 times her fug gave me the overwhelming urge to avert my eyes. I could have a conversation with the Deyn woman about her fug without searching for a visual distraction though.

  85. Christina
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    “It seems unfair to judge performance art against true fug. I know I’m in the minority, but I think I have a case.”

    Agreed. Besides, Gaga is a genius, that other one (who is she anyway?) is just pure fug.

  86. Anne B
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    Okay. Now.

    HOW THE HELL is Homeless Jafar-Beard-Wearing Brad Pitt losing the Fug Battle to trashy little Miley Cyrus?

    How can someone who’s basically just having, like, a bad couture weekend (a bad year) (all right, the stripper pole was a mistake) (never mind. SHE CAN’T SING) beating the guy who now does the yardwork around wherever the Jolie-Pitt kids happen to live?

    This is a contest between someone who can still dress herself and a guy who lives in a cardboard box.

    Please, Fug Nation. Spare a Fug for a fella who’s down on his luck?

  87. Sara
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    You gotta love a man who can pull off a trucker beard and still look yummy enough to lick. Oh wait, did I just say that out loud?

    I feel like BDH could have gone further if she had not been paired up with the mother of all fug. Or would Bjork be the mother and Gaga be the stepdaughter? I’m so confused.

  88. mepe
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    It took no time at all to know that Gaga should beat DBH. If you check the fug dictionary the definition of fugly is: frightfully ugly; of or pertaining to something beyond the boundaries of normal unattractiveness. That pretty much defines Gaga’s “art”.
    On a separate note, I can’t tell you how excited I am to find out that I’m not the only one completely horrified and offended by the French tip pedicure. Thanks again fug girls for making my day!!!

  89. FreckleFace
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    Ahhhh Go Fug Nation, brackets looking REAL GOOD right now!!

    Gaga, we are telling you, sometimes “art” should not been worn.

    Thank you, Thank you, for FUG MADNESS!!!

  90. Ducki
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    I used to be part of the “no costumes” contingent, but I’m on board with including them now. The people who allegedly are trying to look presentable are mostly just trying to get attention. In either case, it’s people trying to get attention by looking wacky – whether it’s wacky in a weirdo jumpsuit or wacky with a LOBSTER ON YOUR HEAD! M’lady the Gaga still thought that was a good costume decision. It’s not. It’s a TERRIBLE costume decision. If you prick a costumed lady, does she not bleed? Shouldn’t we treat them like regular people? I say, emphatically, yes! Yes! Let us vote for the terrible costumes! Let us stand up here today and always as ONE PEOPLE, alined against fashion traumas, whether they are bras as t-shirts or crustaceans as headwear. I voted for Lady Gaga and I stand by that decision.

  91. Francie
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    I LOVE that thing Gaga is wearing in the first pic. SHE LOOKS INSANE.

  92. Shelby
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    OK, I just have to say that chin pubes are GROSS! Ewwwww. And Brad Pitt’s chin pubes are geriatric looking which makes them even grosser.

  93. Alex.Emerson
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    Lady Gaga cannot win. She wants to win so bad, we must not let her. Fug Madness should be a competition you DON’T want to win, but since she hit the scene last year, she has made it her mission to win…and her shtick is getting old.

  94. Camille
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    Most importantly: Heather and Jessica, you rock my world, you make my March, I am not worthy. Thanks for the fabulousness that is you.

    Miley vs. Brad, sigh. Clearly I’m in the minority here–I voted for Brad BECAUSE he can just shave his off, yet he chooses to make little hairdos out of his chin. Miley is, I am sad to confess, not that far off what my friends and I wore at her age. My biggest complaint with her is her poature, and a long weekend with my mom’s stand-against-the-wall-can-I-get-a-hand-behind-your-back exercises would do her a heap o’ good.

  95. Adrienne
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    I’m voting for Gaga to go all the way. Yes, she dresses that way on purpose, and yes I can appreciate her dedication to performance art and costumes. But she still looks totally fug. At least when Rihanna and Ciara and Amber Rose veer into crazytown they still look hot. Even HelenaBC at least looks comfortable when she looks fug.

  96. Colleen
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    First off, SOOOOO happy that fug madness has started!!!
    Now, down to the competition.
    I had to give it to Gaga. I know she is supposed to be wearing “art” but she still looks stupid most of the time.
    Took Miley over Brad. Almost let her off the hook because of her youth, but, man, looking at her archive is grim. Fug clothes, fug posture and fug attitude.
    Gave it to Whitney because wow does she ever fug it up on a regular basis. And I also fugged Agnes. She’s supposed to be in fashion!

  97. Taylor
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    LADY GAGA v. BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD: I voted for Gaga because when I don’t vote for Gaga it’s going to be against a foe damn more respectable than Bryce Dallas Second-String Vampire Replacement Howard. I can already tell, though, that the irritating polarized debate of the season, a la 2008′s Bai Ling and 2009′s SWINTON, will be Lady Gaga, so I wouldn’t mind seeing her offed early just to quell that mewling.

    KIM KARDASHIAN v. WHITNEY PORT: Curiously, this is a case where the seeding seems unjustified — Whitney Port takes this one in a cakewalk for me.

    BRAD PITT v. MILEY CYRUS: Another case like the above — maybe it’s just that female fuggers seem so much more fun to me. (Bobby Trendy aside.) Brad Pitt seems to be in the mix every year but never stands a real shot.

    CIARA v. AGYNESS DEYN: An interesting battle; I voted for Agyness but I can’t really explain why. I really like the music video for “Work” with Ciara and Missy Elliott, whereas… I feel like Agyness had a failed music career. Am I making that up? Either way, that’s far more fabulous and merits my vote.

  98. Trixie McRoxxx
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    I would hate to see Lady Gaga win Fug Madness because her costumes are ART! She emulates drag queens and is bringing all that is wonderful about drag culture to the mainstream. I am in awe of everything she wears. I just wish I had the money to look that fab all the time.

  99. Gillian
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    I just HATE when men wear slouchy/girly knit hats like that. Bleach! Makes even the handsomest man look like a total fool. Blinded by the hat means my vote is for Brad and Miley gets a pass.

  100. Tiffany
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    I read that last comment as “both of these ladies have me throwing up in my hands”, which also works.

    The hardest part of voting is knowing some of these people are going to be knocked out of the competition. They are all worthy fugs.

  101. Wu Swedgin Hang Dai
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    I’d be inclined to not vote for Gaga due to the costume restriction, except that I kind of want to see her and Rhianna go head-to-head in the final. Then there’d be no hand-wringing over intentional fug vs. sad-sack/clueless/trashy fug, just two peak performers bringing their best crazy to the table.

  102. Katherine
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    Yes, Gaga is stupid and pretentious and thinks she’s a real artiste. She’s not. But she needs to go up against another fuggee more worthy of the competition before I vote her off to desirable oblivion. Her face is fug enough to win this round!

    Kardashian is so tacky. Fug!

    Even with those nasty beard braids, Brad is good-looking.

    Agyness has access to so much lovely stuff, I’m sure, and that’s what she ends up in? No.

  103. vandalfan
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    Aaggyyynness had me with the soccer balls. And I, too, await the day when no one thinks a Kardashian is meaningful.

  104. billiijiin
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    Okay, I was totally against Gaga even being in the tournament, mainly because it makes it too easy. It’s like having the 88 Dream Team play in the NCAA tournament.
    But you had to throw the hair pod at me, didn’t you? So, yeah, I caved. Gaga ftw

  105. Sandra
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    Seriously, those are the best outfits I’ve ever seen on Agyness Deyn. I still voted for her though.

  106. Anonymous
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    Bryce Dallas Howard is the new Powder. Also, thanks for having Sweetums’ name up there b/c as soon as I saw Gagalady I thought, damn she looks like that big furry muppet!

  107. TJ
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    Dude. I can’t fug Miley Cyrus. She’s dressed like all the dumbass teenagers I teach everyday. Brad Pitt’s face looks like Bea Arthurs’ vagina (RIP BeaBea). Pitt fug.

    I fugged BDH because she looks bad in real life, and cause I know Gaga’s gonna win. Like voting Green in a blue state. It all works out in the end.

    Also, that awards show jam was the only truly terrible thing Ciara wore. This no-name Deyn broad went in public dressed like MIA. It wasn’t even an original Teenage Smurfette Ninja Turle costume – it was a repeat. FAIL.

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    I just don’t understand why lady Gaga is in this bracket…

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