Here’s what I appreciate about Julia Roberts: When she has a movie out, she doesn’t (presumably) spend the prior month painting herself orange and eating only colon-cleanse juice made from lemons that dropped willingly from the tree, and then show up with two ribs cracked by shoving them into a size 00 dress and everything pushed up to her chin and hanging out like a lady buffet for which her jaw is the only sneezeguard. There is a time and a place for all that — I am not demeaning the entire concept of the lady buffet — but my point is that for all the ways Julia comes off as a bit full of her own Julianess, the attractive flip side to that is that she doesn’t seem all that fussed about whether she’s knocking your socks off or not. She, in fact, seems like she doesn’t much care where your socks are, as long as one of them is not loitering solo in her clothes dryer.

And so I rather like this. It’s a simple navy dress, a trendy tuxedo jacket, and an even trendier big necklace, with some classic YSLs. She looks like she thought about it, but didn’t agonize, and also wanted to leave room for some movie popcorn and maybe a cheeseburger (my kind of girl). It’s nice and it’s appropriate but it’s not trying too hard. Now, it’s possible that she is trying really hard to look like she’s not trying too hard, but I am not feeling that psychologically deep today so I don’t care. Whatever it is, it’s working for me. In fact…

… I’d venture to say that Hayden Pantywaist –whom Jessica just fugged, and rightly, because that dress looks like she spent $10 on it and then shrank it with her travel steamer — would have been better served in Julia’s outfit. Just because yours is shorter, smaller, and sheerer, doesn’t mean you look younger or better. Wait, hang on, maybe you should go get a pen. We’ll wait.