Fabs and Fabber: The 2013 World Figure Skating Championships.


well-played

This might be THE LONGEST POST IN THE WORLD. But the thing is, SO MANY PEOPLE brought it in terms of their wacky/amazing skating get-ups this year, especially — no surprise — the ice dancers, and I wanted to bring as many to you as I can. I’ve covered all the medalists, as usual, but I could not resist tossing in some other noteworthy outfits. So settle in and get ready for crotch shots, near nip-slips, illusion netting overload, thumbs ups, bare chests, and awkward ice-dancing panties. I love it when they make them do the can-can.

PS: If you’re looking for the Americans, I covered most of them here. A few people threw a World’s curveball, and they’re in there. AHEM GRACIE GOLD.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (85):

  1. Goldfish
    0

    I watched all of this and was riveted, but the fug commentary was even better, if possible. And I love me some rodeo clowns. (And did that chick really forget her panties? I don’t remember that, but it sure looked like it).

    • Jessica
      0

      I am sure it was just a major wedgie.

      • Amberoni13
        +3

        According to my dad and I’s scoring of the 1994 Olympics, a full and painful wedgie such as that would actually win her gold. Seriously, someone go check out poor Oksana Baiul’s invisible from the back panties. We had a whole system, including stations like the Quarter Crack, Half Crack, Full Wedgie, and Invisible Panties (we usually knew they started out with panties, but sometime after the first jump, those things retreated completely). That was the one and only time my dad and I watched any Olympics together and it was magical.

        • maryse
          0

          ha!

        • Christine
          +1

          LOL! My god you almost made me choke on my breakfast Cheez-it’s woman!

          But seriously, thank you for that laugh!!! And I envy that time with your dad. Mine watches nothing but old cowboy movies and nature programs and I. Just. Can’t. :)

          • Christine
            0

            *above comment was to Amberoni13, just fyi! I know it has lots of issues and flaws but have the Fug Girls ever considered a comment system like Disqus? It makes it so much easier to follow comments and have actual conversations! <3

  2. Art Eclectic
    0

    Some of those outfits would make really lovely full gowns.

  3. qwertygirl
    0

    Wow. That was great–thanks!

  4. Kris
    0

    NO. NO MORE BRA TOPS. No more bra tops under sheer for female skaters (Kaetlyn Osmond), and especially no more bra tops under sheer for male skaters (Brian Joubert). Trust me, y’all do not want to skate like Kardashians.

  5. Mouse
    0

    I’m I allowed to comment on Patrick Chan’s butt? I mean – LOOK AT IT!! You could bounce loonies and toonies off that thing much less quarters! (HOLLA CANADA!!) :)

    The french moulin rouge costume is…less than flattering to her body shape…

    • Bambi Anne Dear
      0

      I was hoping someone else would comment on PC’s butt. Actually, I think the Fug Girls could devote an entire slide show to ice-skater dudes’ butts.

  6. Hannah
    +1

    re item #42, can we start a petition for a Friends-themed skating program?

    Bonus: much less Bolero/Swan Lake/Carmen.

    • Daffodil
      0

      True, but we’d get a lot more of the Rembrandts and Ross’ “sound” on the keyboards.

  7. Sassy
    0

    I’m from Toronto, Canada and I wish I could have been at these worlds. TICKETS WERE CRAZY EXPENSIVE. I could have seen all these beauts IN THE FLESH considering London is a couple of hours away. But alas, I could only watch the lovely Virtue and Moir on the TV and wait patiently for this site to showcase the costumes. It’s my favourite thing to read on this site! SOCHI here we come!

  8. Janice
    +2

    Still giggling at “Here’s her crotch!”

    There is a lot of that in ice dance.

    • Jennifer
      0

      What Janice said. FABULOUS job, Ladies o’Fug!!!

      • LT1
        0

        I haven’t watched ice skating in decades so I have to ask re: that photo: are they bedazzling the blades now? ’cause that looks brilliant (in multiple ways).

        • LT1
          0

          Aww, never mind, when I blow it up I see it’s the ice stuck to the blades that’s reflecting. Darn.

  9. MKKS
    0

    Oh this is all sorts of sassy fun. It was MADE OF YES.

  10. Beth C.
    0

    In defense of the French ice dancers, the Can-Can was originally done ‘sans cullottes’ so, you know, they toned it down for TV.

  11. Sarah
    0

    I adore Virtue and Moir, and am American. We might have to form a club. Because I like Meryl and Charlie a lot too (he’s adorable, she’s…like a china doll), but I love V/M.

    And we need some music in skating to be retired. Carmen, Bolero, Swan Lake, etc.

    • apsutter
      0

      Agreed with all of that music being retired. I’d also like to add anything Charlie Chaplin-esque. I adore Javier Fernandezz and I love his little vest but if I have to see another male skater doing that stupid awkward tippy toe chaplin walk I will vomit. However I will never get sick of West Side Story programs.

  12. Chaiaiai
    0

    OMG, thank you for this, my best and my cherished birthday present, my dearest Fug Girls. I LOVE that my bday falls within Fug Madness AND the World Champs. xoxoxoxo

  13. Katie
    0

    I agree that Yuna Kim’s costume (from slide 3) was incredibly beautiful. I looked at the outfit more than the skating bc i could not get over it.

  14. JillSpill
    0

    I am SO going to use HAHAHAOMGWTFBBQ in a post sometime!

  15. Frances
    0

    THIS WAS IN MY HOMETOWN AND MY DAUGHTER IS A FIGURE SKATER. I AM MADE OF SQUEE RIGHT NOW!!!!!

  16. Daffodil
    0

    THANK YOU times a billion for the return of OMGWTFBBQ! It is the best phrase in the history of ever.

  17. spinja
    0

    Great great coverage here, Fug Girls. Laughed out loud at “Here’s her crotch” – !
    In Canada we have been calling the most beautiful skater…of all time,really, and I’m Old…Yuna Kim for years. She skated out of Toronto with our Brian Orser as her coach for 5 years and he and our sportscasters always referred to her as Yuna Kim. I know the US commentators were trying to be culturally sensitive and “correct” but we knew they were behind the curve there. Patrick Chan’s short program was truly awe inspiringly beautiful and strong. To Mouse – aye, but I have to say the all-time incredible male butt has to be Brian Boitano, honestly.

  18. JCB
    0

    I am an American, and I also love Virtue and Moir more than Davis and White because of that free dance at the Olympics to Mahler. I STILL cry when I watch it today, it was flawless and so beautiful.

    • Jane
      0

      Agreed on the Virtue and Moir love, over Davis and White (although I’m Canadian, so it’s entirely unsurprising in my case). D & W are excellent, but V & M are simply magical together and their amazing win at the Vancouver Olympics was a hugely proud moment for us up here. Lots of us hope they end up “together, together” because, I mean, can you imagine the stunning wedding followed by beautiful babies??

      • Sally
        0

        Totally agree re Virtue/Moir vs. Davis/White. Well, Scott did break up with Jessica Dube — finally, but Tessa apparently has a boyfriend, a relationship she keeps very private. And yes, the Mahler program was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I know they wanted to go in different directions with their skating since then, but that was just so THEM.

  19. AEMom
    0

    I used to be a rabid FS viewer to the point that I can distinguish all the various jumps, but sadly since I’ve had kids, my time for watching has gone by the wayside. So I LOVE seeing this feature every year. I have also always hated the “tights over skates” business.
    My kids are keen on watching the Olympics, so perhaps I’ll get some viewing in of the Sochi Olympics
    GO CANADA :-)

  20. Mary Duby
    0

    The Worlds Synchronized Skating Championships are taking place in Boston this weekend if you want more skating outfits to write about!!! You can watch on Universal Sports on April 11 and 12 or stream live this weekend on icenetwork.com!!
    http://2013synchroworlds.com/

    #addolympicsynchro #SynchroInPyeongChang2018
    https://twitter.com/Brookiecookiesz/status/303594930419412993/photo/1

  21. BrownEyedBetty
    0

    Dang. I love the FS World Champs. So sorry I missed it. But, like AEMom above, I have kids: therefore I miss major TV events. Anyway, FUG review & commentary helps relieve my disappointment a little – and now has me dreaming of a Golden Girls Salute with a Full Zbornak costume. How cool would that be !??!

  22. Leslie
    0

    Do you like Virtue & Moir so much better than Davis & White that you “forgot” to post pics of Davis & White?? Or am I missing them??

    Also, Scott Moir, while an excellent skater, needs to get medicated for his ever-increasing foot-in-mouth diseases.

    • Jessica
      0

      Nope, they’re in my coverage of the US Nationals — which I linked to in the second paragraph of the intro up there.

  23. Jenny
    +1

    I’m still giggling over this sentence: “This is some classy, elegant shit right here.”
    That was a hell of a lot of side boob for figure skating, though. And has the wedgie gotten progressively more prominent over the years in skating? I’m starting to wonder if it’s part of the new scoring system.

    • Kat
      0

      That is, word for word, exactly what I said, “That’s a hell of a lot of side boob for figure skating!” Damn girl. Her lady friends are making a run for it!

  24. Miranda
    0

    RE the music issue: As of post-Olympics 2014, figure skating will allow music WITH WORDS! Ice dancing already has it, and since it’s gone over so well there, the ISU has decided to allow it for the others. I am totally jazzed to see what people come up with!

    • apsutter
      0

      Me too!!! When they mentioned this rule change at Nationals I squee-ed!! Hopefully it will add more diversity in music choices and can I say that I am LOVING Davis and White’s music this year. The man singing in their Hunchback of Notre Dame dance has such a lovely voice.

  25. Karen G
    0

    #33 looks like what Will Ferrell would wear if he were making an ice skating parody movie, which he did. So, was that skater parodying Will Ferrell parodying skaters?

  26. Nancy
    0

    Some hilarious, and some fabulous costumes. I remember an ice dance pair, Russian, maybe 15 years ago, they danced really fast, passionate, she would go back and forth through his legs while wearing gorgeous tails of purple chiffon, I think. I can never remember their names. No one has come close to,them, in my view.

    Great, hilarious post! And what does the BBQ stand for?

    • Edith
      0

      Did she have curly, flaming red hair? I have these memories, too, and remember the costumes were as insane as the skating was brilliant.

      • Sally
        0

        That was Bestemionova and Bukin. Interestingly, his son just won junior worlds in the dance event.

  27. apsutter
    0

    Thank you guys so much for covering this!! I love your recaps almost as much as I love the sport itself. I didn’t get to watch because the television coverage of skating sucks ass but I’m hoping to catch it on youtube. I hope ice dancing was good because the ice dance competition at Nationals this year blew my freaking mind!!

  28. Nur
    0

    This was great! Cheers!
    I LOLed so hard at that Romanenko soulmate comment, cos it was totally what I was thinking too! :D

  29. Helen
    0

    Having still not been able to watch figure skating since my mother died (it’s something we used to do together, and attend exhibitions when they were in Boston), it’s great to get to see these pictures. The outfits were INSANE this year! The bra tops… let me un-see the bra tops… but they did make me laugh.

    I made the mistake of reading the remarks here first, so I was regrettably prepared for “HERE’S HER CROTCH!”

    But “What? THEY’RE FRENCH.” slayed me!

    I’m a little surprised Carolina Kostner is still at it. Her love for the art has always been evident, but she was getting a little slow and stiff for competition a few years ago. You know, by super-elite athlete standards! Obviously she can do the pro route for years yet. My mother thought she’d quit that year and I agreed. But here she is! And looking great.

    Yuna Kim’s blue outfit was a whisper of lovely.

    And the Virtue/Moir jazz hands are hilarious.

    Final note, apart from its being overused, Michelle Kwan ruined “Bolero” for everyone. I know, she never quite won the gold with it, but those performances were astonishing. No one should try to compete with that memory. It can’t be done.

    • Sandra
      0

      Actually, Torvill and Dean retired the Bolero Trophy way back in Sarajevo in ’84. Even the fabulous Michelle wasn’t THAT good skating to that music. I mean, she was great, but T&D were otherwordly that night. Every time I see somebody else skate to that music I think “nope. Still not Jane and Chris.” And if your music just reminds everybody that somebody else has done this before and done it better than you could ever hope to, you should pick SOME OTHER G**D****D MUSIC!

      If I were a skater–you know, when I’m reincarnated as a spectacularly talented itty-bitty kid–or a coach I would have a big list of “Never Use This” titles. All the ballets, all the operas, most of the movie soundtracks, and many of the stage musicals are on this list. No Prokofiev, no Rachmaninoff, no Gershwin, Copeland only if it isn’t Appalachian Spring, and probably a bunch of others. There are thousands of years of music in countless different cultures around the world. Surely something would be appropriate for skating routines. I know the common ones are common because they work and there’s a storyline built in, but give it a rest people!

      I adored Michelle’s Lyra Angelica because it was uniquely hers. And totally kick-@ss. Look up the vids of ’98 US Nationals and prepare to be awed.

      • Helen
        0

        Good Lord, senility must be setting in – I’d actually managed to space that Torvill and Dean performance. I sob like a child every time I see it.

        Watching skating video now still brings back my mother too much, it’s too painful, so I’m not going to do that. But I did see the 1998 US Nationals with her, and yes, the Lyra Angelica was wonderful.

      • Sally
        0

        You are so right re Torvill and Dean. They OWN BOLERO. NO ONE ELSE SHOULD EVER USE IT — not even MIchelle Kwan.

        • Helen
          0

          Well, I don’t know. I thought about this some more, and I think it’s okay for Kwan to own it as a single skater, and Torvill and Dean to own it as a pair of dancers. The two forms really are very different, and thus, so were the programs.

    • Apsutter
      0

      Agreed about Michelle’s Bolero. I feel the same way about Salome because her version is what introduced adult Michelle to the world and that’s when I fell totally in love with her skating.

      • Helen
        0

        The Salome was a knockout in in its own right, true. And yes, there’s another piece of overused music in skating!

        When you really think about it, it seems like there are just 5-10 things that get used again and again and again…

  30. Janie
    0

    Come on, Canadians! We’re still waiting to hear about your love of bandanas! Is it true?!?!

    • Sally
      0

      Yes, we are totally a nation of bandana-wearing people. I myself wear mine to bed, in the shower, and, of course, when building my igloo.

  31. Kristin
    0

    I once sat next to Pechelat and Bourzat on a plane. They argued the whole time (I wish I knew French!), and he kept trying to sleep on her/snuggle with her, and she kept pushing him away.

    • Sally
      0

      Pechelat is engaged to Thomas Werner from the Czech Republic. He’s very cute, but his skating has been a disaster for several years now.

      • Nur
        0

        Yes, thats why I found that plane tidbit quite interesting. I wonder when that was, cos she’s been with Tomas Verner for more than 3 years now.

  32. Mai
    0

    Is it wrong that on photo 24 all I could think was “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s chones!”

    My fellow Spanglish-speakers will appreciate this

  33. Canadian!
    0

    We are so not into bandanas up here – but we do love Tessa & Scott!

    • Jane
      0

      Tru dat! We lerve them. And wish they’d fall in lerve with each other. :-)

  34. Ash
    0

    I absolutely love Kim Yu-Na’s outfits. She’s always had a very classy eye for them, and these were no exception.

    (…I absolutely hate Scott Hamilton, though. His talent aside, comments he’s made on homosexuality just don’t sit well with me. But he’s not the focus of this post anyway.)

  35. One of the Leahs
    0

    I’ll trade you Bolero, Carmen, AND Swan Lake for Rites of Spring.

  36. filmcricket
    0

    Remember in 1988 when Debi Thomas wore pants for her short program? As a Canadian I was thrilled with Elizabeth Manley doing so well and I adored Katerina Witt’s theatricality, but I always kinda dug that Thomas was like, “F*** it, I’m wearing pants.”

    Do we think Dmitri Soloviev and Ekaterina Bobrova were doing Jerry Maguire? That would explain the jeans/LBD *and* Soloviev acting crazy.

  37. Karen
    0

    This is the funniest piece I’ve read here in a while. I read every last one of the picture comments. Laughed. And I have NO INTEREST whatsoever in ice dancing.

  38. esther p.
    0

    this was perfect reading (and laughing) to go along with my sea salt caramel gelato nomming. awesome post, ladies!

  39. Edith
    0

    Fabulous post, fabulous costumes. Hard to hate the LIME GREEN, indeed!

    But can you really say a man has gone “full sailor” when he isn’t wearing palazzo pants with the three-brass-buttons-on-each-side closure? I want to see someone skate in THAT. And the hat….

  40. Christine
    0

    I just had to say that last weekend, I heard someone on NPR talking about the then-upcoming Skating competition – and I quite literally squealed in my car! Not because I watch it, I never remember nor do I have the attention span, but because I knew there would be a re-cap here to look forward to. Seriously Heather and Jessica, you girls are incredibly talented and your Fug re-caps always make my day!!!

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  42. junibacken
    0

    I am more familiar with ‘Kim Yuna’ but that’s because I watch Korean shows a lot :D

  43. Kris
    0

    Any post that includes a Gaston reference is made of WIN for me!!

    Also, the “GOD, do I have to do EVERYTHING” caption was the one that got me.

  44. Cat
    0

    Another great skating post! And yes to retiring all of the recycled, tired music that skaters use. There’s so much out there– find something else!

    It makes a little sad that the sheer trend has not only infected the female skaters– but the men too! Brain Joubert looks to be wearing a sheer abdominal panel. Actually, wait, maybe that’s not a bad thing.

    Carolina Kostner’s black skating costume skirt was so damn short! I mean, the girl has legs for days, but she might as well have just worn bikini bottoms for all that the skirt covered.

  45. b
    0

    1. piper and paul skated to mary poppins music!
    2. tights over skates is often because their skates are all beaten up and scratched
    3. always look forward to this post…best!

  46. Charlotte
    0

    Holy cow, that’s a lot of sideboob, Gracie.

  47. Gill
    0

    My sister and I went this year – kind of on my bucket list to see the World’s at least once in person – great skating! Your commentary on the costuming was spot on. A lot of the lifts in both dance and pairs are in the category of “just because you can do this, doesn’t mean you should”. Many, many crotch shots and head in crotch moments.
    I use to caddy back in the days before electronic score boards – we held up the marks by hand – cards in little boxes. We shuffled out on the ice and held the scores aloft. I am now officially old.

  48. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    I’m loving the hunky brave gladiator and your comments. And a special thanks for the excellent view of Patrick Chan’s beautiful butt in stretch velvet. Delicious!

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