ESPYs Man Fugs and Fabs

I love athletes in formalwear. Especially when it’s terrible. And it’s frequently terrible.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (63):

  1. katie s.

    I rapidly clicked through the photos with an agenda – I was hoping to find the much-adored Graham Zusi (nominated for Best MLS Player) from Sporting KC in the photos. He’s a handsome, charming, shy little soccer boy who was wearing a suit designed and made by him for one of his teammates. The only thing that could have turned me into a bigger soccer fan girl was following a team where the boys make each other clothes. See how handsome?!? And shoes!

  2. Jessica

    Puig is sooooo good-looking to me and not just because I am a Dodger fan. Also, he’s like a child, so I am a cradle-robber ALSO I hope his attendance at this event did not aggravate his hip injury.

    Lots of these dudes turned it out. I secretly am delighted by Lebron’s suit. And Paul George is so handsome in his glasses.

    • mandiann

      I’m for sure not a Dodger fan and that Puig is super dreamy to me. I try not to think about that fact that he was born the year I graduated from college.

      •  amys

        Merciful heavens: Mr. Puig is hot, hot, hot. I’m ignoring his lack of birthdays. Damn, he looks amazing. I might just have to start following baseball this year….

    • Tiffany

      I love Puig! He has had an AMAZING debut, I think it is only right that he gets to be a little happy about it! I must admit, the attitude and look he gives to pitchers when they walk him is hysterical to me. Probably would feel differently if he looked less hot.

      I hope I can make it through the season without my boyfriend finding out that I am drooling over Puig!

    • Shannon

      Oh, Heather … a little bitter over Dwight, perhaps? :-) All of us Houstonians don’t care how obnoxious he is. The combo of Howard, Harden, Lin and Parsons will wipe the floor with the old and busted Lakers!

      Also, JJ Watt is Captain America. He’s adorable.

  3. Trace

    BAffleck just doesn’t do it for me without his Argo hair and beard…

    • Kristan

      He’s still handsome, objectively, but I agree that some facial fuzz enhances the ‘ffleck.

  4. Jules

    I would like to take this opportunity to publicly declare that I do not get Jason Sudeikis.

    • marie

      he sometimes comes off as a douche. check out his latest interview where he said sex is a workout and Olivia is the best workout partner ever

  5. Cat

    Kaepernick looks like a total douchenozzle here. Seriously dude, sunglasses indoors? Get over yourself. Part of might be because I have an ever-growing desire to punch him in the face, but… he still looks like a douchenozzle here.

    Michael Phelps looks hot from that pic… maybe he just needed some time to mature.

    Wither the Ryan Lochte?! I am sad he did not make an appearance (or maybe he, but not in this slideshow).

    • Miranda

      I am with you on the Kaepernick loathing. What a smug punk. One good season where he got lucky and suddenly he’s acting like Bieber. Gross. He looks like a weasel.

    • Erin

      You know who wears sunglasses indoors? Blind people and a**holes, and he doesn’t seem to be blind….

    • Sarah

      YES. Even the mention of the name Kaepernick makes me want to punch something. Also, he looks like an idiot.

      • Kelsey

        For me, it’s the sunglasses indoors PLUS the overly-unbuttoned shirt PLUS the terrible baggy pants that really adds up to MEGA DOUCHE.

        Sorry, apparently I have all-caps level feelings about this…

    • Magatha

      I cannot disagree with the verdict of douchenozzletude, but neither can I hate on my QB. I’m gonna have to kidnap him before his next public appearance and give him a non-negotiable, utterly fabulous make-over. (Don’t tell him, but the make-over would include defoliating his chin.)

  6. crookedE

    Wherefore Ryan Lochte?

    • Jessica

      He wasn’t there.

    • HKS

      Hehe. Since “wherefore” technically means “for what reason or purpose/why,” I like that your question is “For what reason or purpose: Ryan Lochte?” I feel that is the question for the ages.

  7. Maria L.

    I’m not into sports, so I don’t know who 98% of these dudes are, but that photo of the Alden guy with his accompaniment is priceless. And Victor, I think, is just trying to figure out whether Miss Selena’s dress is lined or not. I like his stripes.

  8.  Carolina Girl

    Kaepernick looks like a Eurotrash douche nozzle.

  9. meggiemoo

    I seriously thought Reggie Bush and Kim K had gotten back together, and I was all kinds of confused.

  10. Linda

    I love how great Torrey Smith looked. I’m a Baltimore girl and he is so handsome and a nice guy. He just got married this month. His wife is a public school teacher and his college sweetheart. Thanks for showing him.
    More Hamm may have been nice…

  11. Brenna

    I’m giving Victor Cruz the win here. In a slideshow filled with dapper men, he looks the dapperist (and I don’t care that dapperist isn’t a word).

  12. Margo

    Lebron bikes to work a lot, apparently, which I think is neat.

  13. Miranda

    Linen suit in summer? Check. Suspenders? Yes please. JJ looks great. He’s also a really good dude.

    In conclusion, I would have JJ Watt’s babies. And I don’t even want kids.

    • Shannon

      I concur a million percent. JJ Watt is adorable and a seriously fantastic person, as well as a totally kickass player.

  14. Carrie

    This is the first time I’ve seen Yasiel Puig and damnnnnn he is hot.

    • Jessica

      His batting AND his bone structure are both mesmerizing.

      • Bucky

        I do not like him because he dared to challenge my dear Freddie Freeman in All-Star voting (or, I should say, the voting public likes teams in NYC and California). That said, GOOD LORD, that is a nicely chiseled face.

  15. Erin

    Am I the only one who thinks that Berman always sounds like he’s trying to talk while inhaling? He loses steam at the end of just about every single phrase. Maybe Michael Phelps can give him some tips on improving his lung capacity.

    • MaryAnne

      My father & uncles tell stories about their aunt who literally could talk while inhaling, so her sisters could never get a word in edgewise … until she (true story) developed calluses/polyps on her vocal cords and had to have surgery.

  16. Dyanna

    Omg, I got a serious case of the snorts, starting with the guy in the shorts (Nick Young), following that up with Aldon Smith (he looks so giant and confused), and then J.Suds mustache! Hahahagigglesnorthahaha.

  17. Joe Dwarf

    Minor correction – Sarah Burke was a skier, and also Canadian. She was gloriously fearless and a hero to many young women.

    • Heather

      I don’t know why I thought she was a snowboarder — I must have mixed her up with the male snowboarder who got seriously hurt doing tricks.

      • Liz

        There was just an HBO documentary on that snowboarder that aired Wednesday night and it included a segment about Sarah. I think they were performing a similar trick when they were injured, so they were mentioned in lots of news stories together.

  18.  Noodle

    Gabrielle Union (with Dwyane Wade) seriously NEVER AGES. I don’t know that I love her dress (or her shoes), but her everything else is gorgeous.

  19. Gary Davidson

    I am amazed that men with as much $ as these guys wear such ( mostly) ugly and ill fitting clothing. Jackets that pull and wrinkle, pants too long, and seem to have little idea what elegant dressing is all about. I suggest Gentlemen’s Gazette as required reading. Ladies PLEASE allow votes on men’s clothing too, most of it is AWFUL.

  20. Stefanie

    I’m going to make a sweeping generalization when I say most of these men could get it. (Most not all.)

  21.  Courtney

    Douchenozzle is officially becoming a part of my vocabulary now. Thank you for that.

    I can’t even take LeBron’s suit. Generally I loathe him but I am putting those feelings aside for the day because that photo made me laugh. And how are Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union so perfect? He should lose the scarf, yes, but my love for them knows no bounds.

  22. KellyG

    LeBron James…of the Albuquerque Electric Shocks! I love it.

  23. AnnieB

    I think the majority of these guys look terrific. What’s not to like about a bunch of men in heavenly shape and dressing like Men with a capital “M”. Of course the exception being the ridiculous dude in the boyscout shorts and DeSean Jackson dressing like a nine year old. Douchnozzle is a total fail.

    Michael Phelps is maturing nicely but I was even a sucker for the crazy abs and the slightly befuddled expressions he sported during the Olympics.

  24. ceecee

    Not a fan of the baby blue/pink combination either, except at baby showers.

  25. TonyG

    There’s a whole lotta handsome in this slide show. Colin Kaepernick. Victor Cruz., Michael Phelps, J.J. Watts and Yasiel Puig…HOT DAMNED… be still my beating heart!

  26. Bambi Anne Dear

    How gorgeous is Adrian Peterson? I would gladly kneel down in front of him and do up that pesky shoelace.

  27. Allison

    I don’t really follow college football or the NFL so I was not aware of Eric Legrand’s story. I got totally misty eyed reading the article you linked to; what an inspiration indeed! And what a sweetheart. Thanks for sharing his story.

  28. Jeannine

    usually the men’s slideshow is always a little boring (because it’s basically 25 black tuxes in a row) but these guys are really bringing it! i have so much love for lebron’s suit. it DELIGHTS me.

  29. Sajorina

    I ♥ LeBron James! He’s looking good! And Michael Phelps looks not only handsome, but really grown up! I LIKE! Plus, bonus Ben Affleck, Jon Hamm & Jason Sudeikis = YES! Olivia Wilde looks so pretty and happy… I approve!

  30. AlisonC

    Ok so I am the only juvenile here because I giggled at the thought of the photographer standing just a tiny bit to the left!

  31. MaryAnne

    I gotta say, I like Nick Young’s shoes, but men in Bermudas is a big fat NO.

    Also, “Splash” was so terrible it was awesome – I watched every guilty pleasure episode and even teared up a litle at Louie Anderson and Nicole Eggert overcoming some of the challenges they faced.

  32. Charlotte

    I am a Niners fan but am totally on board the “Colin looks like a douchenozzle here” train.

  33. Brooke

    Albuquerque Electric Shocks? I am in CONVULSIONS from trying to stifle my laughter near sleeping hubs.

  34.  Vandalfan

    My husband can wear pink; one reason I find him very manly. Some of the fellows seemed not to have gotten the dress code memo, but for the most part: yum, yum, man meat!

  35. Bucky

    An extraneous vest? For me? Well I accept you.
    - Adrian Peterson

    The carpet needed some Manning Face.