Before I show you what Dianna Agron wore to the Emmys, let’s take a look at her from last time we saw her.
There is hot messitude at work. It looks like she went surfing, then burned her hair in the toaster oven. So I’m pleased to say that this part, at least, improved on Sunday:
Suddenly she looks a lot like Elizabeth Banks, which is neither here nor there, since it’s not like Elizabeth Banks is a hideous she-beast to whom you should never compare anyone but your worst mortal enemy. But, she is at least cleaner. What of this dress, though? It gives her a case of Reversocranialism, which is a word I just invented for when your head seems to be on backward and suddenly your boobs look like your shoulder blades. And when we back out…
… the draping seems less romantic and more just like a crinkly mess that can’t decide how to negotiate the terrain. I will say this, though: I am shocked — shocked! — that Agron was not among the masses who wore nude-colored princessy gowns, so the mere fact that she’s in a bright hue is kind of the answer to our repeated banshee calls for boldness. Can I get behind this execution of it? I’m not sure. Probably not. I need you guys to either pull me back from the ledge, or shove me off it. Although in that scenario, if you agree with me, then I’m dead, so… perhaps I need a new metaphor.