Originally, this post was titled, “Joey King, You Are So Cute, Why Is This Happening?” But then more photos came in, and I noticed a whole OTHER plot. Take note of the black shorts she’s wearing there, because when she first arrived on the red carpet — and when I first lightboxed the pictures — those were not there. There was a moderate close-up in which I had thought I spied a beige boy-short or Spanx, but that picture was quickly deleted from the photo service, and then suddenly shots started pouring in of Joey in very very visible black hotpants. Now, Joey is only 17, so I’m not going to run the shorts-free full-length photo because I don’t want anyone to be able to enlarge it. Just in case. From a distance you can’t see anything untoward, and you can’t enlarge on Getty’s site, so I feel safe linking just to give you an idea of the contrast.
What happened? As of this writing, I have no idea. Maybe she had somehow rolled the black ones up really high, like really high, and someone flagged her down — like her mother — and was like, “JOEY LYNN KING DISPLAY YOUR HOTPANTS.” Or maybe she didn’t realize how sheer it was, and a photographer alerted her, or Morgan Freeman did — because when the voice of God tells you that you need pants, by Him, you LISTEN. Or maybe she was supposed to wear them, and decided not to but… brought them anyway, because how often do people have a spare set of cheerleading shorts hanging around for pelvic emergencies? But I do think SOMETHING changed from photo to photo. My eyes aren’t THAT bad yet.
Of course, this problem could have been solved by NOT wearing a sheer shirt with two-thirds of a prom dress strapped to it. But, kids will be kids. Hopefully now that Morgan Freeman is on the scene (he’s in this movie), this will not happen again. Christopher Lloyd is ALSO in it, so he could chip in by inventing time travel if he wanted. I mean, only if he’s in the mood.