Decently Played, And Then Miley-ly Played: Miley Cyrus

As with all things, my initial fear of this makeover has come around to affection. Because remember when she had three tons of the world’s rattiest, most gnarled hair extensions? That was worse.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (58):

  1. Melly

    It’s not the cutouts in the dress that bother me, it’s the prim little turtle neck. Whoever invented turtle necks? can’t stand them except for warmth.

  2. Orange Clouds

    So I guess stars never wear underpants under clothes like this “Take a peek” dress?

    • McLisa

      You would be amazed at how many stars show up to fittings sans undergarments.

  3. Jill

    I’m not a fan of the haircut but I think it would look a little better if it wasn’t bleach blonde. Maybe closer to her eyebrow color?

    The stage get-ups look ridiculous.

    • Stefanie

      Yes. My biggest issue with it is the color.

    • pantsonfire

      I’m with you. I have no problem with a short haircut (though I maintain that she looked best with the shoulder-length do she had just before she initially went really short) , but the bleached out look is terribly, terribly unflattering. And moreover, THIS particular short haircut is not cute. But she would look cute in a medium brown pixie, I think. Depending on specifics.

      The dress completely looks like something Kelly from Married with Children would wear. That is one of the worst things I can say about a garment.

  4. AQ

    She is increasingly reminding me of 90′s diet guru and fashion “icon”, Susan Powter. Stop the Insanity, indeed.

  5. JK

    I’ll bet anything that the zipper on the pants in the final pic actually go all the way around to the top of the back of the pants. I seem to recall jeans like that once upon a time. They were ridiculous then, and they’re ridiculous now.

    What happens when your zipper fails? I mean, in regular pants, your fly is just open. If the zipper is what’s actually holding your stretchy pants together, do the pants just fly apart? That’s a major wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen…

    • Helen

      I definitely recall jeans like that. A stripper friend of mine had them. No, I’m not joking, he really was a stripper and he really did wear the zip-all-around jeans when he wasn’t working. I never asked what happens if they fail… ;-)

      They actually looked great on him, he was so gorgeous he could’ve pulled off just about anything, but he was a stunning giant (about 6’6″) with the kind of sass, moxie, humor, and charisma that Miley Cyrus evidently, and forever hopelessly, dreams of having.

      She just cannot pull off any of this. Poor kid! But it’s true.

  6. Mouse

    This dress is….old? I’m having vague recollections of it shorter and spaghetti strapped and worn by a few people…Heather Graham and Heidi Montag I think. So….you know, classy people…

    And obviously, Miley has entered into the “I need to dress in bondage gear to feel sexy and loudly announce my womanhood” (see: Rihanna).


  7. qwertygirl

    I’m right there next to you waving my cane about facial piercings. The ones I dislike are when they pierce the septum and wear a ring in it. I always think they look like oxen waiting for someone to come clip a rope to it and lead them to water (even though, as Pa pointed out to Laura, oxen are more useful than horses). (And to any other Fug Nationals who may have exactly this piercing, no offense intended–I respect the right to pierce, even if I don’t think it looks very nice. Everyone is entitled to pierce, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.)

    • Helen

      I’m not crazy about facial piercings either. But at least it isn’t one of those big labrets that leak spittle if you ever take the thing out.

  8. Candy

    This look is starting to make me think that SHE thinks she’s Joan Jett. Sorry, sweetie, you will never be Joan Jett.

    • Vandalfan

      No, I believe she’s going for Pink, of which there will only ever be one. I’m all, “Oh, honey, I don’t THINK so.”

      • jean

        But I think she’s kind of pulling off a Pink look, which is surprising from a former Disney star. I much prefer Pink to the standard fake tan, fake long hair, all boobs and legs look. Plus she’s still young and figuring out. I would never have guessed she (and her people) would go this particular route. It’s so off brand really and I love her a bit for that. I don’t see teen girls copying this look (too dramatic, too butch, quite frankly). She’s trying something and I think it’s sincere. It doesn’t always work, but I’ll take this over her in a bed sheet with messy hair and her father leering in the background like some VC Andrews novel cover.

  9. meggiemoo

    I’m just cracking up at these stage photos, because, unless she’s released a new punk album, this look does NOT match her bubblegum pop music. I can just see her singing “Party in the USA” wearing all that leather and metal, and it’s hilarious.

  10. Stefanie

    I dont understand why her (and a lot of other artists’) performance outfits HAVE to be so aggressive. Whips and chains. Spikes and crotch grabs. Leather and Boob slings. WHHHYYY? It is not pleasing to the eye!

  11. Bookworm

    I actually first read it as “angry HIPS-and-chains” which had has several different interpretations…

  12. regina

    I want to tell her “You can’t be Robyn, she’s already taken”
    Like the black dress though her eyelashes look furry and unnerving.

  13. Pouncer

    That last outfit is so hideous that words escape me. “Atrocious” is one that comes to mind.

  14. Lizzy

    Oh, Miley! Look at you all growed up in bondage wear.
    [Insert picture of Liam Hemsworth making his Blue Feel expression - "a mix of amusement, confusion, and vacant good humor. It’s like his version of Blue Steel, except it’s supposed to have depth of feeling. Blue Feel."]

  15. Alma

    All of this is pretty terrible and makes me cringe. Especially the crotch grab. Nobody wants to see you grab your crotch, please refrain.

  16. Sandra

    Oh honey, HELL NO!

    I’m sooooo tired of the “LookatmeI’magrownupwomanNOTHannahMonstanaanymore!” look.

  17. TaraMisu

    I don’t mind the cut out dress…. minus the cut-outs :D I think the short hair really suits her and she is rocking it! That purple get up tho…. yikes.

  18. TonyG

    I kind of like the cut-out dress – even with the cut-outs. She looks great in it. Love the new ‘do too. The performance outfits…not so much.

    • Alice

      I agree on the dress. The cut outs don’t make me stabby or capsy or anything like that. Especially because the rest of the dress is so conservative. And I love that it makes her look about 15 miles tall!

  19. Stephanie

    2 thoughts to share…

    #1 We get it– you are not Hannah Montana. If we agree to acknowledge it out loud, will you stop dressing like an aggressive stripper ?

    #2 I will never like an outfit that that answers if you are wearing underwear, when I don’t even ask the question!

  20. ChristieLea

    At the risk of sounding like an old lady tut-tutting over a cup of tea at her bridge partners for getting their support hose in a bunch: I’m giving her the She’s Young pass on all of this.

    When else will she get to experiment with piercings and faux-punk hair? Better to do it now than 20 years from now, which would just be sad.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go check on the Jell-O salad.

  21. witjunkie

    Honestly, I think that hair chop was the best thing she’s done since turning 18. She looks older and younger at the same time? The performance looks, well, ick, but I don’t attend and that doesn’t count as fashion choices to me anyway. When she’s dressed up, she looks great.

  22. Carol

    Both Miley and Bieber look like they rifled their heavy metal and rap parents’ closets and are playing dress up. Neither one of them can be taken the least bit seriously as an artist while they are playing dress up. They are just laughable.

    • Vandalfan

      This. ^^^^ In spades.

      • Maisie

        Maybe the ridiculous crotch grab is merely the result of that scratchy-looking pants fabric being irritating like crazy.

        (sigh) Giving the young’un the benefit of the doubt. . . .

  23. Jules

    Yeah dressing like the 80′s doesn’t give you any more cred, especially when you were born in the 90′s

  24. Tiffany

    I don’t mind the cut outs. Especially with the high neck and long length, it keeps it from being boring. If the cut outs were larger, I think it would be awful, but they are small enough just to give a peek. The final outfit show is hideous. In many pictures of that outfit, it looks like it is too small for her in the waist and creates rolls that aren’t really there. Horrible ensemble.

  25. Esme

    Love, love, love her hair that way–darllng. And I like the first dress–makes her look very grown up and super tall. The crotch grabbing, just . . ah ha ha ha!

  26. Akit

    I love the hair but It’s all a phase. Please, lord, let it be a phase. Or she’ll end up like Avril Lavinge, god forbid, Miley deserves better, bless her.

  27. 1000Oysters

    I’m just curious as to what exactly that collar/leash/belly chain thing is. She has something like that on a lot. Does it MEAN something? I don’t know and it’s bothering me.

  28. Chrissy

    Don’t like any of it. Except maybe her makeup.

  29. Dani

    Okay, so the pants on the last slide are horrendous – but can we please also talk about the boob-age in that pic?.

  30. Rayna

    Girl can channel Pink, or Susan Powter all she wants. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

    What she SHOULD not do is wear ANY of those things, or grab her crotch in public – EVER.

    It’s not attractive when the boys do it. We really don’t need girls doing it.

    (clutching pearls and rolling eyes)

  31. Mukel

    Remember that episode of Seinfeld, when Elaine bought that dress with cutouts in the arms? George Costanza said “Your arms look like something hanging in a kosher deli!”

    That’s what this reminds me of.

  32. thebutlerdidit

    Heading toward my 47th birthday, reading the post and comments, and all I can think is, “Please never let me get as old as the hens posting here.” Why all the hate on young stars trying to do their thing? Be different? I remember when Annie Lennox was the shaved bleached blonde-how dare Pink copy her? Uhh, no. They all get to be who they want, just like you all do. For people who seem to crave stars be different, you always want same, same, same. Booooooring. Bring on some crazy, that’s why they are in the business instead of answering phones at the vet’s office, right? Merry Christmas, exciting folks!

    • Emma

      You’re putting Annie Lennox and Miley Cyrus in the same class? Also, I think you’re confused about the demographic that reads GFY. Nobody under 45 uses the word “folks.”

      • Maggie

        I’m 25 and I use the word “folks” all the time, because I think my age has nothing to do with my vocabulary.

    • esther

      comparing annie lennox with miley cyrus is like comparing apples and oranges.

      if the oranges were young and talentless and desperately trying to shock and appeal to a wider audience.

  33. Kara K

    I kind of really, really, really like Miley’s current look. (And also Miley. In general. Like I’m fairly sure she’d be fun to go shopping/lunch boozing with. Or singing karaoke with.)

  34. Rachael

    Dislike the dress, really dislike the stage getup, like the concept of her pixie cut, but not sold on the execution. Not feeling the nose ring. Whatever about all that.

    I want to know (a) are those false lashes, and (b) if not, what kind of mascara she uses. If those are not false lashes, I want to buy that mascara. Because, hot damn, those are some amazing eyes.

  35. Lily1214

    She used to look better.

  36. Nickydooley

    HATE HATE HATE the hair, both color and cut. It looks like she lost a dare. Also, it appears that several itinerant caterpillars decided to take a snooze on her eyelids. This child seriously needs to learn the meaning of the word “restraint.” (see, e.g., the last two photos in the slide show).

  37. blissoulkiss

    Wow. Some of the comments sound like the ramblings of disenchanted elderly folk. She looks great with the short hair. And really, the nose ring is a distraction to her beauty? I feel like I am listening to my mom.
    I agree with others, the cutouts on the black dress keep it from being boring.
    The hair cut and color are outstanding, she looks gorgeous!
    I agree the concert getup is a little, ehm, over the top. But it is for a performance. I also wonder what she is singing while wearing that!

  38. brookemopolitan

    i think she can rock a shorter cut… just not that buzz cut. it is AWFUL. if it were a little more Twiggy or Mia Farrow it would be a whole lot more flattering, or even more like the crop Carey Mulligan had. It would also look a whole lot better dark.

    The dress is awful, fo’real. She looks like a floating head.