Whoever crammed the People’s Choice Awards and the Critics Choice Awards into the two weekdays before the Golden Globes is an EVIL MONSTROUS SATAN-LICKING NECKPUNCHER. If we don’t write about it now, we never will, because Globes Fever is at least a week-long event, and I’ve looked at so many outfits in the last two days that my eyes are starting to cross and I think I can see into my own tear ducts.

So, I like Kirsten, she’s been looking a lot better lately, and I’m bummed she isn’t getting nominated for stuff because when you’re in a movie about a depressed bride during the apocalypse — or whatever Melancholia was — you should get something shiny at the end to cheer you up again. But is this a funky and awesome and black dress, or is it what the Death Princesses wear on a funeral home’s Rose Parade float?

HELP:

  • Adorable (75%, 8,059 Votes)
  • Tragic parade float (25%, 2,708 Votes)

Total Voters: 10,771

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[Photo: Getty]