Crazy, Stupid, Fug


An Open Letter to Julianne Moore:

Dear Julianne Moore,

Your stylist hates you.

Why? You seem so nice. Your hair is so pretty. You write books for children about how freckles are awesome, and you are charming in interviews. What have you done to deserve this? Did you accidentally poison your stylist’s poodle with bad chicken nuggets? Did you run over her hedge maze with your Range Rover? Did you seduce her eldest child? Whatever it was, GIRL. You NEED to figure out a way to heal this relationship, because HELL NO.

Love,

Jessica

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Comments (29):

  1. Ines
    0

    “because HELL NO” awesome precis :D

  2. Jamie
    0

    Or how about:

    Dear Julianne Moore,

    Lipstick.

    Love,
    a concerned fan

  3. glee
    0

    Sadly, this is one of her best dresses – but who put that base on her face and forgot to draw the features back on? Her eyes look like they are holes in her head.

  4. lindsay
    0

    she seriously looks like a corpse.

  5. Anna Svahn
    0

    The dress is too pale for her skin tone and with that make up she looks like the walking dead.

  6. margaret
    0

    I think it’s fnuny this event was sponsored by “The Accessories Council….” Errr….she didn’t wear any……

    • Francesca
      0

      Perfect observation! And what happened to her ability to smile, as opposed to just making a slit with her lips so her teeth show? So disappointed in this look – she looks like a plate of mashed potatoes and cauliflower: all beige and all blah.

  7. Helen
    0

    Definitely lipstick!

    And… I might like this in a color, and with different shoes, something elegant to go with the architectural lines of the dress. Well, okay, and without the half-skirt effect, just go full skirt.

    Totally agree it’s a Fug as is, but IMO it could be unfugged with very little trouble.

  8. Amelia
    0

    Wait, wait – how are you going to fix this one? Her stylist is one of her best friends! It’s in this ELLE article: http://www.elle.com/life-love/entertaining-design/leslie-framer-julianne-moore-interview

    • glee
      0

      Right – but she is also friends with Tom Ford – can’t he give her a pointer or two (cuz he already gives her tons of clothes – doesn’t he want them to look their best?)? She looked SO FABULOUS in A Single Man… The hair, the clothes, the everything. It was a divinely styled movie.

  9. theotherjennifer
    0

    she looks dead. halloween was last week.

  10. casey
    0

    My aunt used to say, “She looks like death laid out on a soda cracker.” I think that saying was developed ahead of time for just this occasion. Ugh.

  11. Esme
    0

    i just want to scream and never stop.

  12. PB
    0

    Maybe she is headed out to an audition for a movie about a recently undead dowager countess.

  13. Evalyn
    0

    Her stylist may be her best friend, but she’s no friend to syle. This whole thing could be saved by a tiny bit of color. Any color earrings and necklace, or any color lipstick, or any color dress. Julianne deserves better.

  14. Joan
    0

    Forget the dress – what happened to her face?! If she’s “friends” with her stylist, I’m thinking that’s a passive/aggressive relationship – I’m your friend, but I want you to look awful. She’s so beautiful but she most always looks terrible (exception – that yellow dress she recently wore). Don’t even get me started on the clodhoppers.

  15. stacie
    0

    COLOR!!! Any bit of color and this would be fab…

  16. Carolina Girl
    0

    Is she wearing the same shoe as Amy Adams?? In either case HELL NO.

  17. SilkyPants Joshi Malik
    0

    I really do think the dress is fabulous; extremely interesting and eye catching neckline. I love the color contrast of the hem as well. I do agree that her make up is doing her, and unfortunately, the dress, a huge disservice. I can’t help but think how effing phenomenal this dress would look on me. LOL. (I’m olive complected with black hair and i ALWAYS smile. :P )

  18. Vandalfan
    0

    Great minds must differ- I think the color, neckline and low-water-mark hem on that dress are absolute crimes, and Julianne here is not helping to sell the merchandise with plain, flat, parted in the middle hair, no lipstick, and her grandmother’s shoes.

    Heck, she’d do better to grab that pretty satiny blue table cloth and whip out a quick toga.

  19. Elizabeth
    0

    Olivia Wilde was there wearing the much-improved version of this outfit with great hair and makeup.

  20. sarah
    0

    I get sad when I see pics of her. She is SOOOOO pretty in real life.
    (and fyi: I saw her husband on the subway a few weeks ago and he is SO good looking, too.)

  21. Sajorina
    0

    She is AWESOME, so she deserves AWESOME! This is NOT AWESOME! *sad*

  22. Nancy
    0

    I actually sort of like the dress – despite the shear-ish panel. Maybe in a color it would’ve worked better on her? (Or, that color on someone else, perhaps.)

    Agreed with other comments on the wonky make up. And the shoes.

  23. KB
    0

    Damn. I find her stunning, and love so much when she wears those jewel tone gowns. And then there’s this …

  24. Erika Wurster
    0

    Julianne has been inducted into the wax hall of fame.

  25. Mina
    0

    She’s so pretty, and so talented, but everything she wears always looks so CHEAP. She can kill a dress — loved how they styled her in 30 Rock — but whoever does her for these pictures gets it all wrong. The clothes look cheap and she looks like a Gloria Steinem wannabe.

  26. Lily1214
    0

    Oh, Who designed this mess?