Crazy Fug Love

I’m glad Analeigh Tipton here continues to get work. I think a former ANTM contestant turned Gosling-adjacent actor is possibly Tyra’s best success story yet.

I am NOT glad that she decided to waltz out of the house tonight wearing a pillowcase. Girl, you have so many occasions ahead of you to wear a pillowcase. When you are old. When a terrible break-up plus a crippling Doritos addiction combine to take over the months of May-October one year and then you wake up on Halloween and none of your pants fit. One of the early months of pregnancy when your regular clothes don’t fit but mostly people are just suspecting that your Doritos addiction has reared its ugly head once more. Pillowcase Night down at the Palladium. TONIGHT IS NOT ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS.

In case you were wondering about what looks like her bra straps:

That is on purpose. Sigh. The kids. Are they really all right?

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Comments (31):

  1. vandalfan

    She’s there so they can project a movie on her. After she mugged a bridesmaid and stole her shoes.

  2. themis

    pointiest shoes EVER. Aiee.

  3. Liz

    also are those straps part of the dress or her bra? I am so confused

  4. Stefanie

    The shoes! Oh god the shoes! NOOOOOOO

  5. Geemeedee

    WHAT is going on with her face? Did she draw her eyebrows on with a magic marker?

    • yeahandalso

      I saw her season on ANTM, that’s just how she always looked. There was another girl last year who looked just like her, but a bit prettier in my opinion named Hannah…the two side by side sorta look like they could be a before and after of … something lol

  6. that girl

    I like her, but I do not like one thing about this outfit. The dress looks like one of my 6th grade sewing projects and I absolutely HATE those shoes. When you have that body, why dress it in this??

  7. Sylvia

    Those shoes are weapons. Also, I would love few things more than to be Gosling adjacent.

  8. Sandra

    Why do those shoes even exist? WHY???? (shaking fist at universe)

  9. Billie

    Agree with the others about the shoes. Gah! Maybe she did go through a bad breakup, another woman stole her man and she is wearing those as weapons.

  10. Danielle

    The best part about the first picture is the small person (woman?) that appears to be standing on her shoulder.

    It’s like she’s whispering ‘Haha, we knocked that “good style judgment” bitch right off. Our fug shall shine tonight!’

    • Kat

      Hahahah! I didn’t notice the tiny woman on her shoulder! That’s amazing!

  11. Mitsar

    It looks like she stitched it together before heading out…

  12. Girlin

    HORRENDOUS! Between the too-short hemline and those pain-inducing shoes?? No need…. my eyes hurt =(

  13. Charlotte

    Does the dress have a dorsal fin???

  14. Art Eclectic

    That dress is so ugly and unflattering I kept waiting for Stella McCartney’s name to appear in the post.

    • Charlotte

      Speaking of Stella McFugney, my dad just rang me in anguish & outrage to fug Stella’s design for the Olympics Team. I feel a need to advise him to pop a tube of Pringle’s and log onto the Fug Girls’ webpage to find solace with like-minded individuals.

  15. Valentina

    TIME. the hell. OUT. The heinous faced gawky girl who for the life of me I could not figure out why anyone would cast her (let alone have her as an actual love interest — besides the fact that said smitten was a child, still!) is from ANTM?!?!??!!? Granted she looks decent in many of her google pics — ahh the magic of make-up — but wow. Mind. Blown.

  16. amy

    Oh, Jessica. Tell me that intro wasn’t autobiographical.

  17. anny

    It looks like a couture surgical gown.

  18. Alma

    You painted a painfully realistic picture about the trouble with Doritos, Jessica. Thank you :)

  19. G

    Is it a trick of the light or does she have very impressive brow ridges?

  20. Soapstef

    Why would she do this to herself?! The shoes are some sort of torture alone. This girl is a stunning on a bad day so I don’t know how to explain this look?!

    I do LOVE this Analeigh however! She is the best success story from ANTM. She’s fab and has a marvelous career ahead of her….so we probably won’t see her on any ANTM special seasons.

  21. Mahastee

    I am all in favour of minimalism, but this just looks like a giant napkin.

  22. NYCGirl

    The dress is boring, but not that bad. (Hangs head in embarrassment.) I do, however, concur that the shoes are hideous.

  23. ChaChaHeels

    I like it. I does have a disadvantage in that it wrinkles, slightly, but otherwise, it’s a really sleek look. I might have put different shoes with it, but the ones she has on are not so bad. I’m actually looking forward to the pointy shoe trend, the beige plastic platform cliche has been around too long, and the bear trap shoes which came before them have also bored everyone to death. Nice to see lighter and more feminine shoes making a comeback.

    • Katharine

      I kind of like the dress too, certainly in theory, although I think this particular girl may not be the vehicle for this kind of aggressive minimalism. (Picture Rooney Mara in it instead.)

      Pointy shoes? No. Lighter, more feminine, and have you forgotten the crippling part? The snub toes make a super-high heel actually wearable. And my feet still bear the scars of the pointy-toed FLATS I wore in high school. Bunions ahoy!

  24. M

    wait. so those straps might be not a bra but a part of her dress, but ARE YOU SURE THOSE AREN’T HANGER STAPS?