CMA Fug Carpet: Laura Bell Bundy


I swear to God, we used to have a tag called, “PUT IT AWAY,” and I really wanted to use it for this:

Yeah, you’re not understudying for the Reese Witherspoon part in a regional theatre adaptation of Water for Elephants. But surely there’s a picture of you where we’re not standing like this, showing off your BeDazzled underpants, right? RIGHT, LAURA BELL BUNDY?

WRONG.

So, remember the Dark Ages when Paris Hilton was popular and got invited places and people cared? She once went to an event — a real one, with a red carpet — in a dress somewhat similar to this, although it was Barbie pink. And she kept posing thusly, and in posing thusly revealed to us her underpants. And, to be as delicate as possible, she had a major front-wedgie, so we saw much of her lady parts. This really happened. I saw the photos on Getty, which is not in the business of Photoshopping pictures to add in people’s labia. It was both horrifying and completely ahead of the curve, given that we had not yet entered That Weird Summer People Kept Flashing Us Their Crotch. (MAN, that summer was awesome. Paris went to jail! Nicole drove the wrong way DOWN THE FREEWAY! BRITNEY JUSTIN DANCE-OFF. Truly a Golden Age for Trashiness.) Of course, knowing what we know now about Paris, I am sure it was all totally intentional, but at the time, All Were Dismayed For Her, because the idea of showing everyone Your Parts “Accidentally” was simply not in our mental repertoire. (A MORE INNOCENT TIME.)  And that — THAT VERY PHOTO, which I long to unsee, let me tell you — is what I keep thinking about every time I look at these photos. And let me just tell you one thing, Fug Nation: you don’t ever, EVER want to choose a gown for a formal event that reminds people of Paris Hilton’s vagina. YOU JUST DON’T.

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Comments (38):

  1. Bevvie Hedstrom
    0

    Sexy like pantaloons.

  2. Hollie
    0

    dress is beyond hideous, but I remember that summer well :)

  3. jerkygirl
    0

    Looks like that purple thing got added to that spangled onesie specifically to be flounced around like that. The only good thing that can be said about this is that (thankfully) all of the important parts are covered.

  4. LoriK
    0

    In addition to the obvious huge problems with this dress (put it away, indeed), she’s standing on her skirt. All that flapping around she did to show off her bedazzled granny panties and she couldn’t even control it well enough not to stand on it. I kind of doubt that the goal when she left the house was to look like a total twit, so this is a big ol’ FAIL.

  5. Aoife
    0

    This makes me think of Strictly Come Dancing (Dancing with the Stars). Not real life.

  6. Kit
    0

    OMFUGGINGGOD I burned that summer from my memory… or maybe it was the summer my eyes were assaulted by Britney Spear’s nekkid vag (yes, yes, I know it was her pudendum, not her vag) they all melded into one and thank you so much for reminding me. Now I see Spear-Vag (or Spear-Pud for you precise peeps)!

    However, I can be comforted by Laura Bell-Bundy’s dress because if I look at it long enough, it too will blind me…

  7. alicia
    0

    Not to mention it cuts off her spectacular gams HORIZONTALLY at the hipbone. I feel honest to god dread that she’s so proud.

  8. TaraMisu
    0

    Yeah I’m not sure why the sudden sightings of granny pants? That straight across cut on the leg does no one any favors.

  9. Stefanie
    0

    Now this is what the US gymnastics team should wear.

  10. Kayle
    0

    This caused me to google the P Hilton dress. And it is BAD. Enjoy, Fuggers. http://www.thefablife.com/nggallery/post/top-celebrity-cameltoe-moments/image/11883

    • PHX Mama
      0

      My eyes are burning and now I can’t unsee it. I say, thank god for the granny panties on this one….’

      • Geemee
        0

        OMGOMGOMG bleach. I need bleach. To pour in my eyes after seeing that.

      • ChristopherD
        0

        I need therapy now. I assumed wedgie, but everything still covered, but sweet Heart Of Dixie… not THAT. Beware… be VERY ware!

    • Jennifer
      0

      Wow! I never saw that picture originally. I need a bleach scrub for my corneas now. Thanks so much, Kayle.

    • PHX Mama
      0

      My eyes are burning and now I can’t unsee it. I say, thank god for the granny panties on this one….

    • Lindy
      0

      That is the VILEST thing I’ve seen in a long time.

    • yeahandalso
      0

      also I sorta forgot how weird looking she is. And I don’t feel bad saying it because I used to thing she was pretty 2 nose jobs ago before she was a reality star and she and Nicky were just girls who would sometimes be in those pages of vogue that are just pictures of girls at parties

  11. meg
    0

    Did she do something to her face? It’s actually distracting me from her outfit.

    • Sarie
      0

      I agree there is something very off about her nose, like it’s on her face wrong.

  12. pgw
    0

    put the”dress” aside. does anyone else think her legs are just the weirdest color ever?

    • lindsay
      0

      if by “color” you mean “colors”, then yes, i agree that her legs look like a tonal technicolor dream coat.

  13. Deli
    0

    LOL I remember that too!!!!

  14. Daisy Mae
    0

    Granny pants + sequins + shower curtain = bad idea

  15. vandalfan
    0

    The top might have some potential, and if the bejeweled material simply extended down to the floor, it might have been OK. The simple elastic waist of the leg curtain looks simply makeshift. It does not help matters that the sequins and jewels are spaced much farther apart Down South than Up North. Gives the impression that she’s straining and stretching out the fabric in that area. And no, I had not seen that photo of Paris. Her folks must be so proud. Ahem.

  16. Cristina
    0

    The Reese Witherespoon reference is especially apt because LBB here originated the lead role in the Legally Blonde musical.

  17. Anne B
    0

    Worst execution of the leg-curtains (die die DIE, Leg Curtains, DIE) trend I’ve seen so far.

    When all garments in the Leg-Curtains category at last do what I suspect they are designed to do — suddenly detonate on the bodies of the wearers, in a planned conflagration of self-righteous rage — all these women are gonna feel really dumb, standing there in charred granny panties.

    FUG.

  18. wordphreak
    0

    She’s standing. On her. Skirt. Among other things that are oh so wrong with this outfit.

    • Bevvie Hedstrom
      0

      She IS standing on her dress! And not just a little. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? WHY did that happen? This keeps getting worse.

  19. Kyasarin
    0

    Did she steal that from the “Paso Doble” portion of the DWTS wardrobe? Because that’s what it looks like. Cheryl Burke wants her clothes *back*, woman!

  20. anny
    0

    Bbbbbbbut – did she make danceline?

  21. ChristopherD
    0

    Why is this happening? Why?

  22. NYCGirl
    0

    People cared about Paris Hilton?

  23. Lily
    0

    I think this dress is Sherri Hill, but it’s part of her pageant line…like something you’re supposed to wear on a stage, like as part of a show where you want drama but don’t want to flash your goodies at the audience.

    So oops on LBB for wearing, basically, a pageant costume on a Red Carpet

  24. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    Ugh!

  25. yeahandalso
    0

    Is Laura Bell Bundy trying to be a country singer now? Maybe that’s good, she is a HORRIBLE actress. I watched about half an hour of the Legally Blond musical before I had to shut it off, it was so depressingly bad.

  26. OLYCJC
    0

    In all of this lot, remember this is the Country Music Awards…not London, Paris (no not that one) NYC or even LA. I think a different standard is held. It appears that Nicole was trying to appropriately dress DOWN, as shown above.