CFDA Awards Unfug It Up: Zoe Saldana


Zoe Saldana looks a lot better in this than she has a right to, given that she’s wearing more netting than a hockey goal.

But in general this is expending a whole lot of energy for not that grand an effect. It’s one part something I’ve seen a thousand times and don’t wish to revisit (the see-through skirt; ARE WE DONE YET, FASHION INDUSTRY?) and then it trots out pointless elbow windows in an effort to either surprise us, or make us paranoid about whether we’re moisturizing our joints enough and/or have to cut all the middles out of our shirt sleeves. What would you tweak, Fug Nation? Solid sleeves? Solid skirt? Scrap the full-length and make it a respectable cocktail frock, but keep the Wonder Woman cuffs? Sew a matching lasso of truth to her knickers? I wrote “knockers” first by accident, but I suppose that’s an option as well.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (52):

  1. Clarence Beeks
    0

    I would like the dress, if it were sleeveless or short sleeved. The sleeves ruin it for me.

    • Helen
      0

      OMG, yes, the sleeves! They are dreadful.

      Otherwise, I quite like it. The sheer/solid combo is fine with me when it’s done well, and except for those terribly wrong sleeves, here, I think it’s done well.

      Little sort of fall/wintery, though.

      I think what I would do with the sleeves is just stop them where the solid part ends at the upper arm.

  2. Billie
    0

    I think she looks fabulous, full stop.

    • Annie S.
      0

      Agreed. She and Diane Kruger are the only two women alive who could pull off this look. Zoe looks tremendous.

      • Jordan D.
        0

        Double agreed! Those two women can really pull off whatever they want. I think she’s working it. And somehow all the crazy details are JUST right.

        • Kristan
          0

          Triply agreed! Except I don’t like the tight/severe ponytail. I don’t know what I’d want instead… something softer, since the dress is so black and line-y.

        • Chasmosaur
          0

          Quadrupally(?) agreed. It’s a fashion event. She wears fashion. Any other event it would be too much, but she is one of the few humans in the planet that can pull the dress off.

    • themis
      0

      EXACTLY. This is perfection.

  3. Sarah
    0

    Whereas I think it’s wholly unsalvagable and this sheer nonsense needs to stop.

  4. CJ
    0

    I’d be into this if it were short sleeved. I actually like the dress.

  5. Lux
    0

    Completely agree with the anti-sleeve remarks.

  6. Kit
    0

    solid sleeves or sleeveless (with my preference for the former), keep the length on the skirt, but scrap the leg curtains.

    OT – Her expression looks rather cat-like here – or a bit like The Grinch when he’s being particularly clever. :0)

    • Meri
      0

      Then she got an idea!
      An awful idea!
      Then Zoe
      GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

      “I know just what to do!” She smiled in smug glee
      “I’ll take all the cloth from the fashion industry!”
      And she chuckled and chortled “And then, I’m betting
      They’ll replace all that I’ve taken with some sheer netting!”

  7. Emma
    0

    Cut off the sleeves where the sheer part begins to make it short-sleeved, make the sheer part of the skirt the same opaque fabric, leave the sheer belted detail at the waist, and it would be perfect.

    Although I will say I appreciate her taking risks because at least she’s not boring!

  8. gladly
    0

    Nothing! I would tweak nothing, but I would immediately start production on “Center Stage II” where Zoe retired from her life as a prima ballerina to take over the ballet academy as its new firm but loving teacher!

  9. hillary l.
    0

    Short sleeves, maybe just bit of see-through ruffle at the bottom.

    Because clearly, the industry isn’t ready to go cold-turkey.

  10. elle
    0

    Make it red, white and blue so it has meaning.

    • christine christine
      0

      BAHAHAHAHA yes Go Elections! Go Olympics! Go…Independence!

  11. Big Noise
    0

    The sleeves don’t bother me — that sheerness from the knees, down, however, has to go. And she needs a little bling — jewelry? A bit off-topic, but I’ve seen previews of her new movie with Bradley Cooper twice and still don’t know what the hell it’s about. Any idea?

  12. Brooke
    0

    Please, for the love of all that is sacred, no more part-opaque, part-sheer skirts. That said, get rid of everything sheer on this number. Up top, replace with nothing, as she has the skin and bod to pull it off. Down below, just make it solid. For pete’s sake. We got it. You have nice legs. I don’t have to see them for you to prove it. LESS IS MORE.

    • Dave
      0

      Thanks Brooke. Adding to the list of “fashion” “trends” that need to go away immediately:

      Most lace overlays (they only work when the fit is PERFECT)
      The whole burnout-or-lace-over-sheer/illusion thing
      Abdominal cutouts (This can never end well)
      Peplums

  13. Eli
    0

    Eva Rodriguez would NOT approve.

  14. LiseD
    0

    It’s at least not the “Hey! Here’s my underwear!” screaming sheer. I don’t mind the sheerness per se, but that it looks so baggy and bunchy on the top.

  15. Cranky Old Batt
    0

    Its okay, but looks too goth for her. Someone else, Dita maybe could rock this.

    That said she is drop dead gorgeous and only in my dreams does my body look anywhere near as great as hers. Having the same high, round forehead affliction is about as close as we come to twins.

  16. Lina
    0

    I love it as-is because it’s on her & my crush is just that big. On someone else, I’d probably want the skirt to be opaque but with something else to create interest.

  17. Leah
    0

    Cut off the sheer skirt and make the sheer parts of the sleeves and chest a solid color-block. I’m picturing a periwinkle.

  18. Karen
    0

    I actually don’t mind the netting at the waist, because she has a truly epic waist and it deserves to be shown off. If the rest of the netting was solid, and only the waist remains, I bet she’d still rock it and fewer people would be weeping.

  19. Bonnie Colville
    0

    No sleeves and a solid skirt and Bob’s your uncle!

  20. Pamb
    0

    Her arms look freakishly long, and her hands look Photoshopped on; how did this happen?

  21. pantsonfire
    0

    I think she looks great…almost. I don’t care about the sleeves–they’re fine as is (I like the interest created by the sheer bits) or they would also be cute as short sleeves or even sleeveless, maybe. Though, if it were sleeveless, I would probably want the neckline to be less deep. Or flutter sleeves! That would be great, too. However, that train has got to go. I think it makes the dress feel decidedly Halloween / Morticia Addams / Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.

  22. Marit
    0

    wouldn’t even keep the color..

    nothing against a black dress per se, but it seems that some color would’ve been great on her. as for the dress itself, just no.

  23. CaptialofKings
    0

    This is the second hockey related comment in one day – I can only assume (and hope!) that you are caught up in the excitement of the Kings in the Stanley Cup finals. As a fan of Go Fug Yourself and Puck Daddy, I hope that you could somehow join the two in a magical Zamboni of Fuggery. Don Cherry alone is worth an entire post.

  24. sara
    0

    i think id make the skirt and sleeves solid, but leave the sheer panels at her midriff, bc it makes it interesting.

  25. Lillbet
    0

    I like it on her. On second look, the segmented sleeves make her arms look extra long but I still like it. It’s a more demure version of some of the sheers (and shreds) we have seen.

  26. Amanda P.
    0

    I may be biased because I adore Zoe Saldana, but there are worse things she could have been wearing. The sheer torso was about all she needed, everything else could’ve been solid and I think this would’ve been a knockout. Or maybe colorblocking? I think all the cutout areas could’ve been fun if they maybe were in a fun color instead? Again. Biased.

  27. christine christine
    0

    Colorblocking! If the sheer parts were a color, even cream, it would be nifty. It’s definitely flattering and beautifully cut, other than that pesky pantyhose vibe it has.

    • pantsonfire
      0

      Interesting… I have no problem with the black, but I would be very curious to see how it would look colorblocked. I agree with cream for the shear parts–indeed, I think that may be the only possible color, if we keep the rest of the dress black. If we change the color of the rest of the dress, the possibilities multiply. There’s an outside chance that it looks tremendous, and a very good chance it ends up looking chintzy, like a homemade ballroom dance costume. But I’m game.

  28. Melly
    0

    Solid sleeves, solid middle. Keep the sheer skirt, it’s one of the few graceful examples I’ve seen. Maybe that’s just Zoe.

    • vandalfan
      0

      And, see, I’d do just the opposite- I love the sleeves and even the sheer waist cutout thingies. I just want a solid skirt, although I agree this is the best execution of that odd trend. Probably because it does not show off her underthings or hoo-ha.

      But I’d do something else with her hair, give her bangs or something. Such a fivehead! It rivals that plastic looking Kidman dame.

  29. Sara
    0

    At least she’s got her five-hole covered.

    rim shot!*
    Bad hockey joke.
    @CapitalofKings, excellent idea combinging Puck Daddy and GoFugYourself. My life would be complete. (Also, one day, can you girls please do a Hockey WAG feature? Or maybe just a Sean-Avery and Ryan Miller in their own clothing lines feature with an addendum of Patrick Kane in homemade, beer-soaked t–shirts and a gratuitious Henrik Lundqvuist hair pic?)

  30. Marina
    0

    For one, would definitely get rid of those sleeves. There is just way too much going on up there and it looks bunchy and weird. Secondly, I would get rid of the illusion netting on the ab cuts…with those tweaks, I think it would be a pretty cute dress.

  31. Shiitake
    0

    When does this dress style start fading away?

  32. Arlene
    0

    I don’t get the Zoe love. Personally, I think her face looks like an alien’s. And she needs to put on a few pounds.

  33. guerra
    0

    I lOVE this !! Its perfect the sheerness drapes so beautifully on the bottom and its sexy yet all covered up. Gorgeous!!

  34. Sajorina
    0

    I actually love this dress… for Morticia or Elvira! It doesn’t need to be unfugged, it just has to be worn by the right person under the right circumstances!

  35. Honey Makwakwa
    0

    I absolutely loooove this look!!! love it, I might lose the sleeves altogether, but she looks amaze! totally deserving of a “better than well played”

  36. Ms.A
    0

    I don’t think it needs to be unfugged. I think she looks good in it! I hate the sheer trend, but this I like! The only thing I would change is the hair. It’s pulled back way too tight!

  37. spacie
    0

    Heather, you’re cray. She looks amazing. This dress works on her.

  38. Kendra
    0

    I love this, full stop. On anyone else it would be a horrible, horrific nightmare – on her I think it’s divine! Elegant, compelling, gorgeous – oh my gosh.

    • Tiffany McKnight
      0

      I agree. This is so simplified, that she is radiant! Plus her skin is GLOWING. Hands down #goddess