Fugger: Zoe Saldana

Cannes Fug or Fab: Zoe Saldana in Victoria Beckham


Sometimes I think this is cool, with the edgy chain belt and those nice lengthening pleats.

And other times, I think it looks like she slung a scrunchie across a tank top and then crushed it by hugging someone a little too hard.

Call it:

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[Photo: Getty]

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Mostly Well Played: The Recent Looks of Zoe Saldana


Since we last saw her (at the Met Gala), Zoe Saldana has left the house a lot to promote Rosemary’s Baby, which I heard was both terrible and a flop. The good news is, no one will blame her for that. You are blameless, Saldana! Also, you mostly look great.

[Photos: WENN]

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Met Carpet Fug Carpet: Zoe Saldana in Michael Kors


I feel like Zoe Saldana read what I said about Lupita wearing a shower cap to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner and just laughed and laughed and laughed:

“You want to see someone wearing a shower cap as a dress? I CAN TOTALLY DO THAT FOR YOU.”

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Zoe Saldana in Roskanda Ilincic


Do not get me started on the absolute non-necessity of the Rosemary’s Baby remake. But always get me started on Zoe Saldana, because there’s never an end to the Center Stage jokes I can make. Are we at a point where making a Center Stage joke about Zoe Saldana is like making an As The World Turns joke about Julianne Moore? Because I might start making those, too. She played identical half-sister/cousins!

This is, if not great, at least dramatic:

And the shoes are filling me with joy.

Let’s look at the front before we deliver our verdicts:

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Fug the Covers: Zoe and Zooey on Lucky


Let’s start with the one I rather like:

That sweater is super cute, super cheerful, super colorful, and super springy. There is nothing particularly revolutionary nor interesting about any of the articles promised within, but at least this hint of spring doesn’t make me want to stab myself because we’re still stuck in the chilly wilds of February.

Here is the Z for whom the cover efforts were less successful:

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Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Zoe Saldana


This one is such a head-scratcher that we’re at dandruff-warning Defcon 1.

Clearly Cinderella’s mice have been hitting the absinthe again.

The best part is that on the red carpet, she somewhat self-aggrandizingly noted that Prabal Gurung made this and told her that “only Zoe could wear it,” and while I am sure it’s difficult on the ego to turn down a dress that the designer thinks is a cherished and magical personal gift, I choose to interpret her comments as, “You guys, I was backed into a corner, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?” I think I speak for us all when I say the answer is, “Spill water on it and then tell him somebody’s assistant was fired for clumsiness.”

Here is the back:

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