Fugger: Various Kardashians

Kimly Played, Kourtney Kardashian

Otherwise known as The Kurious Kase of Kourtney Kardashian, because what really strikes me about this is that I feel like they contoured Kourtney to look as much like Kim as possible, just in case Kim decides not to leave the house until she can fit into a thimble.

[Photos: WENN]


Casual Fuggerday: Kylie Jenner

This is Kylie Jenner (center) arriving at her birthday party:

In a camouflage onesie. As you do. With friends that match. I don’t know what amuses me more: A Kardashian wearing a fabric whose initial intent was to HIDE a person from prying eyes, or the use of said fabric on a zip-up suit so hideous it could not possibly escape attention. It reminds me of nothing so much as the “Pimps” and “Hos” tracksuits Britney and Kevin Federline got for their respective wedding posses. And I have this horrible suspicion that someone at least THOUGHT about ordering baby North West one of these for at-home reveling.

[Photo: INF Daily]


Fugs and Fabs: The E! Upfront

So, they had a red carpet — complete with fans! — at the E! upfronts, and yet Giuliana and Seacrest were walking the carpet rather than working it. I can’t deal with that level of self-reflexiveness.

[Photo: Getty and WENN]


Kids’ Choice Fug and Fab Carpet: Kylie and Khloe

Our photo service refers to Kylie Jenner here as “personality Kylie Jenner” and as her mother surely knows, there is no worse kiss of death for an aspiring ANYTHING than to be classified as a PERSONALITY rather than a Whatever She’s Aspiring Toward. Is Kylie the one who wants to be a model? I cannot manage to extend my interest in the offspring of Kris Jenner into the actual Jenners:

That dress might actually be cute, but those shoes are Satan’s own handiwork. They’re like two little wicker demons.

The one Kardashian I actually like, however, showed up and looked cute:

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Fugthur George, by Fug Kardashian

This is kind of mean, but I need to note that I find it hilarious that Rob Kardashian’s big career move here is… becoming a sock mogul. No offense to socks, because I wear them and revel when they are comfortable, but “sock mogul” just doesn’t seem like something where you wake up one morning and realize that your passion is for artful cotton foot sheaths. Instead, sock mogulry feels like something you decide to do because you are from a family that has a LOT of money and marketing heft right now, and your mother is nagging at you to take advantage of that while you still can, but you don’t actually want to do any work.

Also, that Givenchy t-shirt is apparently $700. ┬áIt’s a Madonna (the religious icon, not the singer). And it really clashes with/draws focus from his passion socks. But all I know is, at the end of the day, for $700 a) my clothes had best not have the Pavlovian response of making people’s eyelids heavy when they look at me, and b) I’d better get more than a freaking t-shirt.

[Photo: WENN]


Oscars Fugs or Fabs: The Kardashians

None of them blew me away. But none of them looked terrifyingly bad, either, which might be a first…?

[Photos: Getty]