Fugger: Sharon Stone

Cannes Fugs and Fabs: Behind the Candelabra Premiere

Welcome back, Sharon Stone.

[Photos: Getty, WENN]


Fugs, Fabs, and Fines: The White House Correspondents’ Dinner, The Neutrals

I have to admit that I have no idea why any of these people are invited to an event that’s designed for White House Correspondents — although I TOTALLY know why they all accepted their invites. But I kind of wish someone would let Amy Poehler report from the Front Lawn now and then. I saw SNL. I know she can do it.

[Photos: Getty]



The Fugse

“Yes, that’s right, America. Time to get Stoned.”

Sharon Stone

“It was MY birthday, but I’m giving YOU the gift. Just tickle my waddle and call me Sharin’ Stone, bitches, because the headlights are on and I am flashing my brights.”

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]


Oscars Weekend (And Beyond) Sharon Stone Carpet: Sharon Stone

“Hello, everyone. Yes, it’s me, Sharon, just popping by the Oscars red carpet on my way to Elton John’s viewing party — at which we will be watching, on TV, the event outside of which I am currently standing. Is that weird? Yes. Does it smell like I’m doing a drive-by just to get my picture taken as much as possible? Yes. Do we wonder why I was invited to this but not to the actual ceremony? Yes.  Do we think I am telling people that I was invited but chose not to go inside because I am Sharon f’ing Stone, and I don’t sit around in rooms with people who aren’t giving me statuettes? OF COURSE. Do we think security asked for my name and I ID’d myself Basic Instinct style? Yes, because that is my driver’s license photo. That’s right, officer. Pull me over and let’s play Find the Infraction. Kiss kiss.”


Hilariously Played, Sharon Stone

I have missed you, Sharon Stone. I have missed you much. And I wish that I could hang out with you, because you look like a kick at this event. First of all, props on the very pretty, very classy, very subtle dress…that you’ve promptly un-subtle-ized with your impessive cleav. Are you angling to be the first 50-something Victoria’s Secret Angel? Because, honestly, I am pretty sure that would be awesome. You’d be predictably kicky at all the media events, if your behavior at this one is anything to go on.

Please, enter the slideshow and get some play-by-play. Ahem. Fine. THE ALLEGED play-by-play. That I might have made up. BUT I’M PRETTY SURE I DIDN’T.



[Photo: Splash News]

“Hello, world. My appearance today is brought to you by Puma Peace. As in, I am the puma, and I wish you peace. What is a puma, you ask? Well, it’s like a cougar, but faster, hungrier, saucier, messier, badder, bedhead-ier, Old West Hells Angels Saloon owner-ier, bouffant-ier, peaceful-ier, woozier, collarbone-er, hyphen-ier, and ier-ier. And if you know what the hell I’m talking about, then I’ll GIVE you these pants. It takes me ten years to zip them anyway.”