Fugger: Rumer Willis

Golden Globes Fug or Fab Party; Rumer Willis


Every time I look at this I think of the time Rumer Willis was Miss Golden Globe and Demi Moore came up onstage to present something and hissed at her to stand up straight, and Rumer rolled her eyes but did it. We’ve all been on at least one side of that conversation. And I’m about to join the other side: STAND UP STRAIGHT, RUMER.

We all want to see your lovely (?) dress!

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The House Fuggy


There’s a club that’s popular these days with the kiddies in Hollywood called Trousdale, and EVERY SINGLE TIME I read it as “Trouserdale.” In the case of Rumer Willis, I wish it HAD been Trouserdale:

I imagine Trouserdale to be the pants equivalent of taking your pet to a giant field and letting it run around, frolicking free, maybe snacking on some plants or hot dog scraps that somebody left behind from a picnic. Like, you show up to Trouserdale, and everywhere there are people handing you trousers that magically fit, just like those traveling pants except you don’t have to share them or make up any disgusting rules about not running them through the washing machine.

This might be what my face looked like if I ever went to Trouserdale:

Rapture!

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Fug or Fab: Rumer Willis


I have to admit, I feel like Rumer Willis has been looking really cute lately. Maybe I’m just getting old and soft, but I like to think that Demi eventually sat her down and said, “SERIOUSLY WHEN I TOLD YOU TO STAND UP STRAIGHT DURING THE GOLDEN GLOBES THAT ONE TIME I WAS NOT KIDDING!!!!” and Rumer was all, “holy GOD, FINE WOMAN WILL THIS SHUT YOU UP?”

It’s shutting ME up, even with the wacky asymmetrical skirt. But I love love love me so blazers. What do you think?

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Fugelle and Rumfug


MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: Hey, Rumer. You look different.
RUMER WILLIS: So do you!
MICHELLE: Well, I’m trying this new thing where my pants are unflattering and my shirt is from Motherhood maternity. I think it’s really working to create intrigue!
RUMER: And I’M trying this new thing where my clothes are a size too small, and I look like an escort who got her tie bitten off by a coked-up business executive during a team-building drug orgy! I think it’s really working to create… um…
MICHELLE: … pity?
RUMER: … Look, I’ll take it, okay?
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Fug Madness 2010, Round One: Bjork Bracket


(6) CARRIE UNDERWOOD vs. (11) FABIOLA BERACASA

Whenever we see a celeb wearing giant sleeves, I often wonder what they’ve got up them; in Carrie’s case, it was a high Fug Madness seeding that was secreted up this billowing white arm-bugle:

At the time, I wondered whether Carrie was keeping Sleeve on a leash, or vice-versa. Almost a year later, I still have no answers. Only questions. And confusion. My brow is like, “SLOW DOWN, Underwood, you could grate cheese on my furrows.”

And yet, Carrie’s Bring Your Arm To Work Day matchy-matchy white nonsense is being met bravely by some resplendently nutty offerings from socialite Fabiola Beracasa:

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Unfug It Up: Rumer Willis


I love how it looks like the girls in the poster are shrieking at Rumer and Demi.

[Photo: Splash News]

Not that shrieking is necessarily warranted here. Demi looks lovely and dignified. But Rumer… she’s getting there, she really is. The jacket is intricate and interesting. But it’s also a tad mature: I could it on anyone ranging from Cate Blanchett to Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren to freaking Barbara Walters in that thing. Okay, maybe not Baba Wawa, unless she put a camisole under it, but you get the gist — don’t clothe yourself into your golden years, Rumer.

I’d almost like to see them trade outfits. Maybe we’d find out that it takes a very particular face and body to pull off an explosion of ruffles, but it also might be fun to see Rumer in a dress that’s not strapless, since she has a pathological inability to choose one that wants to stay above her ribcage.  As for Demi, she could totally work the lace, and would probably do better than pairing it with a truly unremarkable pair of black pants. They definitely don’t compete with the top, it’s true, but they don’t enhance it either. In fact, they’re kind of rolling over and playing dead. I’m glad Rumer herself is not — if Demi Moore were my mother, I might consider giving up completely and becoming a shut-in who never shaves and eats only what can be foraged from the attic — but I do wish she’d done something else here.

How would you fix this? Swap their clothes? Keep them in their outfits, but lose the pants (and replace them with something else)? Give them more exciting shoes? Or are they perfect just the way they left the house? Fair readers, let us know. You know the rules: On topic, on manners, on Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen. Merci.

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