KEVIN HART: RIHANNA! What are you DOING? YOU are KILLING ME.
RIHANNA: Ha ha, your clothes look like someone drove past you through a mud puddle.
KEVIN: That’s not what I MEAN, Rihanna. What do guys choose, Rihanna?
RIHANNA: Uh. Me?
KEVIN: YES. And NIPPLES. YOU AND NIPPLES. WHY DID YOU WEAR THE NAKED DRESS TO THAT OTHER THING?
RIHANNA; Well, I thought it might be creepy to wear that here, so I’m keeping it casual, yeah? It was a fashion statement. Don’t wanna upstage the antlers.
KEVIN: It was a BUTTOCK STATEMENT. And we wanted to HEAR IT. We would have been HERE FOR YOU. We would have TAKEN DICTATION.
RIHANNA: All right, I get it, but I have a whole naked strategy and it does not involve you or tonight. Naked Dress’s time has come and gone, man.
KEVIN: Time is a flat circle, Rihanna. Time is a FLAT. CIRCLE.
RIHANNA: What does that even mean?
KEVIN: I don’t know! McConaughey said it on True Detective so it’s probably total bullshit! Maybe it means I will get a chance to come back around and TRUTHFULLY DETECT your NAKED DRESS!
RIHANNA: I’m kinda over my nipples now. NEXT.
KEVIN: Lordy. Rethink your timing next year.
RIHANNA: No thanks. I’m good. Rethink your shirt.
A note: I don’t know your job/life, but if your boss would not be best pleased to pop into your office and see nipples on your monitor, perhaps save this until she’s off at Starbucks.