Fugger: Prince Harry

Well Replayed, Kate Middleton (with an assist from Princes William and Harry and George and also the dog)


This picture cracks me up. It looks like nothing more than William is making some ridiculous corny Dad joke that Kate thinks is cute and Harry just like [silent head shake]:

ANYWAY, these three are off to a wedding this morning — how pretty it looks at that church, no? All the daffodils. It’s very  I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud up in there — and none of that is new on Kate, although I have always liked that coat. (It’s Missoni, and you last saw it at this delightful event where the Queen was apparently hilarious and Kate and William were throwing giant darts at things and before THAT at Fortnum & Mason, where I wish someone would pick me up some marmalade. Underneath is apparently this Whistles frock, which she has had for years [and actually so have I, before I even knew she owned it; thanks, ASOS, for making Whistles available to us here in the US!) I must admit that I have a sincere fondness for Harry's yellow vest, which he also wore to this wedding that happened last year. Interesting trivia in that post as it looks like William's tie in this photo here is Harry's tie there, but I actually think they own matching ties, which just makes me sad that they're not taking Christmas photos in identical outfits; also, Cressida Bonas looks fully insane at that wedding. The bride at this particular wedding is apparently a longtime friend, and her father is an Olympic gold medalist equestrian who once dated Princess Anne. Don't you feel like the seating arrangements at big royal events must just be a complete minefield when it comes to not seating people next to people they used to go out with? Everyone's made out with everyone. Which obviously, is exactly the way it ought to be for maximum scandalous gossip and ergo exactly the way I like it.

AND THEN THEY RELEASED THIS.

It's the new official family portrait, and essentially, I am dead now. HIS SHIRT SAYS "GEORGE."

[Photo: Splash, Jason Bell/Camera Press/Redux]

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Royals Round-Up, Week of March 10, 2014


A LOT happened this week, in addition to all the shenanigans to be covered herein — which include cake! Puppies! The exchange of monies between mother and son! AND Joan Collins! To catch you up on the stuff we’ve already talked about, first, though:

 

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Hatsily Played, Royal Family


I feel like all of them are like, “LA LA LA LA LOOK OVER HERE AT MEEEEEEEEEE WILL AND KATE WILL BE BACK EVENTUALLY EVERYTHING IS FINE!” It’s true that hats are a GREAT universal distraction. On the other hand, even the street signs are pressuring Harry to get married. Lay off, street signs!

[Speaking of all things royal, this seems as good a time as any to let you royal watchers know that we've put up a post on our book blog about the shenanigans we got up to in England at the start of this year, while we were over there researching The Royal We. Yes, that post includes both buttresses and futuristic pods in which to whizz.]

[Photos: Getty]

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Royally Played: Prince Harry and Cressida Bonas


First of all: There is literally no way that these two going public — they’ve now been out together twice this week, at official events, including one at which Harry was making a speech, so make no mistake, it’s on — doesn’t have something to do with an attempt to distract the public from the fact that Wills and Kate are in a bit of a PR nightmare due to their current ill-timed vacay. Someone called Harry — maybe William, honestly — and told him that it’d be great if The Spare and Cressida could take the heat off Kate and The Heir. Heather’s theory — which we all discussed in Friday’s Royals Round-up, and with which I agree — is that something is up with the Cambridges right now. As a not-at-all-well-placed outsider foreigner yahoo, I would not say I am concerned, but I do think something is afoot, and I think that any plans to slowly introduce Cressida have kind of been thrown out the window in an attempt to shore up popularity for The Firm. Now, I personally don’t find Cressida particularly likeable but I have literally no real reason for this other than the fact that she often looks bored — she might have Resting Bored Face — and obviously I strongly reject any grown woman who would actually wear a scrunchy for anything other than the gym or during her facial ablutions. Anyway, pour yourself some more coffee and let’s gossip.

[Photos: Getty]

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Royals Round-Up with Bonus Idris Elba


We continue to be Kate-less, as she and William are in the Maldives right now. I love them, as you guys know, but she was on vacation with her parents fairly recently, and the instant I read that they were on vacay again, I thought, “certain segments are going to give them a hard time for this,” and they already are. These two have a habit of taking a vacation before starting a long work trip — they’ve got that three-week tour in April coming up, which sounds lovely but will also be loads of people up in their respective grills — but this second honeymoon feels like it might be a little bit of a PR misstep coming so close on the heels of another vacation, especially since William is supposed to be in school. I mean, trust, if I could take multiple mid-winter tropical trips, I would, but you feel me. I’m not entirely sure the thought process here was entirely solid, is what I am saying. Their anniversary is the week they get back from Australia and NZ, so my personal theory is that they decided to jaunt off for some alone time while they could and weren’t miserably jet-lagged with a jet-lagged infant, but if I, rando American ladyblogger (who is, in fairness, writing a book about Royal Shenanigans) can predict the side-eye, then someone being paid for Public Side-Eye Predictions could also have done so. Maybe their Public Side-Eye Predictors are EVIL! Wait, let me write that down….

…okay, I’m back. All that being said, the good news is that Prince Harry is making up for it by rolling around in camo pants, and going places with Cressida (which, meh, I am still unsold on her, but let’s discuss; this is the first time she’s officially been at a public event with him, so it’s possible my vote doesn’t count) and also there are robots and Victorian orphans and bonus Idris Elba because WHY NOT. IT’S FRIDAY.

[Photos: Getty, WENN, Splash]

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Fugs and Fabs and Fines: A Royal Omnibus


Kate and George were in Mustique for the week for her mother’s birthday (he’s gotten so big! And that is the body language of a woman who has lugged that baby around a lot; you can tell someone’s comfortable with the child in question when she’s toting him like a bag of flour. I have a picture of myself holding one of Heather’s kids at just a little bit older in the exact same fashion except he happens to be reaching for a bottle of beer. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SCANDAL? [I didn't give it to him]), but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t check in on a variety of royal or quasi-royal personages. Also includes cute puppies and a look at one of Camilla’s dining rooms.

[Photos: Getty]

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